The Spoonbill Generator

I took my bitch to get her shaved on Park Lane yesterday [Apsley]

I liked to call her "Lady", but she still wouldn't come [archaeopteryx]

Words alone are not enough to bring a bitch to heel [chaise]

So I bribed her with the promise of ribena and rum [loaf]

The pet trichologist was cute, I asked her for a date [Beefy ]

She palmed a dollar bill with a hatted hare [chaise]

Which prompted me to mutter "Ears and whiskers, I must dash" [Beefy ]

"Abracadabra... a wig for Alice!" pens the chair. [chaise]

Back in the street, the shaven pooch and I then slouched around, [Apsley]

The one of us half sober, the other one half drunk [loaf]

Women passed by, I gawked in a drunken keel [archaeopteryx]

But knew I could do nothing, 'cause as the booze took hold my manhood shrunk [Big Andy]

We tried some fetch, then sit and beg - that brought my tail to wag [chaise]

Until it was Eliza's turn, who decided not to play dead, but [Apsley]

Start a tug-'o-war about a vomit-sodden rag [loaf]

Left there, no doubt, by women female poets, though half-cut [Apsley]