The Spoonbill Generator

A new bordello - civic, clean - is what Wisconsin needs [Apsley]

The sort they built a few years back in Leamington, or Leeds [Roland]

A place where anyone can go to satisfy their lust [Big Andy]

Not anyone... just those sad men who fade after one thrust [chaise]

The streets would be a better place with no-one crawling kerbs [TG]

And with each house's garden neatly stocked with herbs [Apsley]

Which, duly fried and roasted, and compacted into blocks [loaf]

Will seal up every orifice and penetrate the locks [Apsley]

And wrench the very hairpins from the bunches and the bangs [loaf]

Revealing horny poets picking lowest fruit that hangs [asdf]

We'd get the girls from all around, the cleanest and the best [TG]

We'd weed out all the cross-eyed ones and then dismiss the rest [loaf]

But they still turn me down - I can't satisfy their lust [chaise]

While coping with exhaustion as I earn my daily crust [loaf]

As an out-of-work cathedral clock who's jobbing as a watch [Apsley]

So on their sordid bedposts I shall never be a notch [TG]

And on their sticky carpets I'll never leave a stain [loaf]

Though that does not prevent my dreams, which then unbid present [Apsley]

The most lubricious harlots that might infest a brain [loaf]

(A state of mind, I've oft been told, a wedded wife should soon resent) [Apsley]

Envoi [(trad)]

The girls of the night, when push comes to shove [Beefy ]

Just can't compete with a well worn glove - allegedly [chaise]

And there's no love like store-bought love [Beefy ]