The Spoonbill Generator

This invention makes me sick!       [Apsley ]

My bride divulged, at twilight       [Roland ]

Between the oaks that were so thick,       [Apsley ]

They blocked the kitchen skylight       [Roland ]

That she had little need of men       [Beefy ]

And even less of me       [Roland ]

So I enquired: "Tell me, then,       [Beefy ]

Why, to this sturdy tree       [Roland ]

Have I been bound?" She answered not       [Beefy ]

Just turned a fancy handle       [Apsley ]

Releasing an alarming hound       [Roland ]

That pounced upon my sandal       [Apsley ]

Causing no small tide of blood       [Surlaw ]

To flush her cheeks with joy       [Beefy ]

And clouds across the moon to scud       [Roland ]

While she deployed her "toy"       [Beefy ]

This invention makes me sick!       [(trad) ]

Time to scarper - double-quick       [Beefy ]