The Spoonbill Generator

When shopping for a pachyderm       [Kansas Sam ]

Be sure to take a ruler       [Beefy ]

To estimate, when time permits       [Roland ]

Her ring size for your jeweler       [Kansas Sam ]

For should it prove a tad too tight       [Roland ]

And put a strain upon her chest       [Apsley ]

You'll have PETA breathing down your neck       [Beefy ]

When searching for a prostitute       [F ]

Be sure to take a ruler       [(trad) ]

To legislate, as monarchs do       [dkb ]

When raking in the moolah       [Roland ]

For should your grasp of law be slack       [dkb ]

You'll have watchdogs leaping on your back       [Roland ]

When trying on a pair of slacks       [Beefy ]

Be sure to take a ruler       [(trad) ]

Not just a shoddy plastic one       [N ]

But one designed by Tula       [Beefy ]

For should the cool assistant sneer       [dkb ]

You'll have a chance to whack his ear       [N ]