The Spoonbill Generator

Strong dominion, over whelks,       [Apsley ]

Betrays a lesser urge       [Surlaw ]

To castigate the arthropod       [Apsley ]

That lingers on the verge       [Surlaw ]

And drops an idle spindly line       [Apsley ]

Unseen to all but those       [Surlaw ]

Who hover in the atmosphere       [Apsley ]

In faint, uneven rows       [Surlaw ]

For them, the Truth is far from sight       [Apsley ]

And Pain forever near       [Surlaw ]

For what the seers review as trite       [Apsley ]

Is to the blind man dear       [Surlaw ]

And in his thrifty vision ever close       [Apsley ]

To those ...       [Surlaw ]

Whelkish natures, in the brine,       [Apsley ]

Capitulate to woe       [Surlaw ]

In response to heart-attacks       [Apsley ]

Or readings from Defoe       [Surlaw ]

That tingle softly down the spine       [Apsley ]

Where oligarchs, for shame       [Surlaw ]

Of drinking so much wine,       [Apsley ]

Invoke the secret name       [Surlaw ]

Of Jahbulon's redundant cat       [Apsley ]

Who lurks behind the shed       [Surlaw ]

And oftentimes has swiftly shat       [Apsley ]

On Dr Johnson's head       [Surlaw ]

And on his prizéd roses, one by one,       [Apsley ]

So wan       [Surlaw ]

Whelks that never stood a chance       [Apsley ]

While hiking on the Fells       [Surlaw ]

Could earn a fortune on the boards       [Apsley ]

At forty decibels       [Surlaw ]

And so, in singing of their lore,       [Apsley ]

and bragging of their skills       [Surlaw ]

To all those hoary men of yore,       [Apsley ]

They curse our nation's ills       [Surlaw ]

They curse 'em ever, day and night,       [Apsley ]

At North, and South and West       [Surlaw ]

At compass-points (excepting East)       [Apsley ]

From Bude to Buda-pest       [Surlaw ]

(A place the which some folk do know -       [Apsley ]

And so ...)       [Surlaw ]

Whelks in fiction seldom thrive       [Apsley ]

Nor is their repartee       [Surlaw ]

The kind to make the whiskers curl       [Apsley ]

In lands beyond the sea       [W Wordsworth ]

Where whisker-curling rules the day       [Apsley ]

And half the night as well       [Surlaw ]

(As Billy Joel was wont to say,       [Apsley ]

Or maybe 'twas Jacques Brel)       [Surlaw ]

For fictive whelks are more like clams,       [Apsley ]

Whose mouths, forever shut       [Surlaw ]

To Light, embrace the Dark       [Apsley ]

Within each Nissen-hut       [Surlaw ]

That littered ev'ry highway 'roundabout       [Apsley ]

No doubt ...       [Surlaw ]

Sage pronouncements:       [Apsley ]

When six and nine are gone       [Surlaw ]

And seven's on the wane       [Apsley ]

The whores of old Ceylon       [Surlaw ]

Make music in our brain       [Apsley ]

Yet four and five, on heat       [Surlaw ]

From ten until just three,       [Apsley ]

Prohibit all the easy meat       [Surlaw ]

That's set aside for me       [Apsley ]

That's set aside for me       [(trad) ]

Prohibit every tasty treat       [Apsley ]

That's set aside for me       [Surlaw ]

Prohibit what I like to eat       [Apsley ]

That's set aside for tea       [Surlaw ]

Prohibit what I use to beat       [Apsley ]

That's set aside for thee       [Roland ]

Whenas:       [Apsley ]

When nine and six return       [Surlaw ]

And seven makes its mark,       [Apsley ]

The penitence you spurn       [Surlaw ]

Will leave you in the dark       [Apsley ]

Yet five and four, discreet       [Surlaw ]

With ten, but not three,       [Apsley ]

Must part before they meet       [Surlaw ]

Though set aside for me...       [Apsley ]

Though set aside for me...       [(trad) ]