The Spoonbill Generator

We've gathered together today       [Nym ]

To send Henry Farnham away       [Apsley ]

To somewhere he won't want to stay       [loaf ]

We think it unpleasant and vile       [Apsley ]

To be stuck with his cunning and guile       [Nym ]

And answer his smarm with a smile       [loaf ]

We hope there are none who object       [Nym ]

Yet somehow we've come to expect       [loaf ]

That our plan is inclined to be wrecked       [Nym ]

To hamstring him first we're agreed       [loaf ]

That we'll tie up his gizzard with greed       [Apsley ]

And burn out his ears with all speed       [loaf ]

We'll tar him and feather him too       [Nym ]

And leave his address at the zoo       [Apsley ]

Embossed on a dead kinkajou       [loaf ]

We've made Henry Farnham our prey       [Apsley ]

But something we'd all like to say:       [loaf ]

The thought of him summons dismay       [Apsley ]

The thought of his flesh and his hide       [loaf ]

His allure for a possible bride       [Apsley ]

Leave sensible folk horrified       [loaf ]

We hate him, if you couldn't tell       [Juan of the Pines ]

His person, his mind and his smell       [loaf ]

We wish him a long stay in Hell       [Juan of the Pines ]

We've sent Henry Farnham some bones       [Apsley ]

And sev'ral CDs of loud groans       [loaf ]

In the hope that he'll cancel our loans       [Apsley ]

So please, Henry Farnham, we say       [loaf ]

We're gathered to send you away       [Apsley ]

Yet somehow we all hope you'll stay       [loaf ]