Show Me How Verdi Murdered Houdini
his pendulum might make you sneeze
His handcuffs summon sweat
to all who watch his act of sleaze
With reason to regret
i dare you now to look away
And hear the bodies groan
The Pride Parade, where all are gay
Save Genghis Khan alone
But what would Mary Pickford do?
Would she impel some passing shoe?
Her silent films are passing strange
Her lust brooks no restraint
For those who ride the open range
In search of purple paint
With which, withal, to paint their hides
Disguise their weeping sores
Will drown themselves in laughing tides
And shoals of mermaid whores
But how would Genghis Khan respond?
Go skinnydipping in that pond!
And thus, to Edgar Allan Poe
A question, newly posed
Upon the matter of his toe:
(This question now is closed)
Of how it came to be so blue
When all the light was gone
The sun eclipsed by Pickford's shoe
The raven by the swan
But how does this relate to Cher?
It can't be just the pubic hair ...
She sang to Sonny, "Got You, Babe."
And he it eek to her
Then slew him with an astrolabe
Because, we must concur,
It was his fair and fitting fate
As owner of a grating voice
To flop as lead in "Kiss Me Kate"
And so disarm poor Jimmy Joyce
But how can we recalibrate?
Can't Dotty Parker get a date?
Contributors: | Apsley, loaf, Kansas Sam, Kevin Andrew Murphy, asdf, Nym. |
Poem finished: | 15th June 2006 by loaf. |