The Spoonbill Generator

Hengist had the brightest sword       [Apsley ]

If not the sharpest mind       [loaf ]

And, in his fashion, served his lord       [Apsley ]

As goggles serve the blind       [loaf ]

Who desire to gnaw a bone       [Apsley ]

Albeit veiled in flesh       [loaf ]

And take it to the telephone       [Apsley ]

He dressed in naught but mesh.       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

Hengist liked a jape or two       [Apsley ]

Spaced over the decades       [loaf ]

And, when he felt it apt to woo,       [Apsley ]

He'd call his shovels spades       [F ]

And kept on digging; such a hole       [loaf ]

Is naught to one so high       [Chevalier ]

But, viewed by abject worm or mole       [loaf ]

Say, seems the very sky       [Apsley ]

Hengist wooed a maiden fair       [loaf ]

In hope of gaining wealth       [Chevalier ]

But lo! She had a mermaid's hair       [loaf ]

And in the worst of health       [Chevalier ]

She struggled all alone       [Apsley ]

To satisfy his lust       [Chevalier ]

Yet when she touched his bone       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

He thrust it at her bust       [Apsley ]

Hengist quivered, head to toe       [a priori ]

Enveloped in a gel,       [Apsley ]

And, in a voice surpassing low,       [Chevalier ]

He muttered down to Hell:       [Apsley ]

"Is aught from naught aught - or naught?"       [Kansas Sam ]

Hell rumbled back in turn:       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

"Yes and no - as New Math taught!"       [Helen Owly ]

And caused his ears to burn       [Apsley ]

Hengist fell into the Pit       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

Observing, as he fell       [Chevalier ]

That if this verse he now could quit       [Kansas Sam ]

Then all might turn out well       [Apsley ]

So Satan skewered him on a spit       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

And turned him over coals       [Apsley ]

And basted him with aquavit       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

As given once to moles       [Apsley ]

Hengist burned five milliard years       [Chevalier ]

As frizzled as a fritter       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

And, waiting for a mourner's tears,       [Chevalier ]

He gave birth to a litter       [Apsley ]

This miracle touched Hengist's soul       [Chevalier ]

And other organs too       [Hillbeck ]

It purged his sins and made him whole       [Chevalier ]

As much as me or you       [loaf ]

Hengist rose again at last       [Chevalier ]

In wholly different form       [loaf ]

Forgiven for his sinful past       [Chevalier ]

And calmer since the storm       [loaf ]

Transfigured into marzipan       [Kevin Andrew Murphy ]

With cormorant coiffure       [loaf ]

Which tells us this: the vilest man       [Chevalier ]

As candy shall endure       [Helen Owly ]