We, the hereby undersigned, do stoatly pledge our word
That one amongst us, treacherous, be sundered from the club
He, the hereby mentioned lout, be given now the bird
Let now his brick be rent in twain, his headlamp must be dipped
They, the victims of his plight must fourfold be repaid
He shall crawl from house to house collecting in a tin
They whose limbs are bent and bruised shall turn to him for aid
As too will those whose ears are deaf, whose bones and teeth are chipped
He, the wretched bigamist, we ban him from the pub
Stills shall be illicit if he wants to fill his skin
Let there be no doubt that he has forfeited his pension!
Let there be no doubt that he will get his just desserts!
Let us not forget this ghastly man and his intention
Let us set about him, and we'll kick him where it hurts
Shun the frightful crime that he's not repented of, and re
Assert our communal disgust by sending him to Coventry
Kick him in the stomach, in the eyes, and elsewhere too
Put him where he must belong, in Macclesfield Zoo.
There among the lobsters and the crayfish is his home
Put him behind bars, and then he nevermore will roam.