A man with a prong on his nose

The Spoonbill Generator

The Spoonbill Generator Archive

A Golden Treasury of Collaborative Verse, 1996–2007


Poems by Year: 1996 - 1997 - 1998 - 1999 - 2000 - 2001 - 2002 - 2003 - 2004 - 2005 - 2006 - 2007

*** Hall of Fame  — Alphabetical List of Titles  — Poems by Colour

Index of First Lines

First lineTitle
2004 Dec 14"A pox upon thee, wretched cur!"Every Third Word Recited Effortlessly (Canticle )
2004 Dec 14"A pox upon thee, wretched cur!"Dickens Saith
2003 Jun 24"Better", I told him, "you had left your seed unsown"A Vagabond Lacking Cunning
2003 Jun 20"Chocolate! Give me chocolate!", the woman screamedIf Cocoa Couldn't (Allegory)
2003 Dec 30"Compliments of the season" annoys me beyond reasonWhy Not? Your Knots Do!
2004 Feb 17"devolve prolific coconut" advised the sophic spamHabits Of Old Liberals Foregone
2003 Nov 23"I must remove that oil stain" muttered the piebald ratThe Frozen Meow
2003 Oct 19"I never think when I can talk,"Mary, Nary, Oh-So-Scary
2003 Nov 13"I've saved you so much money, dear"Jilted By Cheapskates
2003 Aug 8"It was so kind of you to come!And And And Whimpering
2003 Jul 27"It wasn't meant to be," the woman sobbed.Wish To Be
2003 Dec 3"It's coming...like Christmas" they saidThings Like Cigars
2004 Oct 14"Love me or leave me," my girlfriend remarkedWhen Nagging Seem Treasonous
2003 Jul 26"Relax", I say, but they never obeyPeople Ran for the Butter
2004 Dec 31"The End is near!" the Bellman criedPointless Goodness
2003 Sep 4"The proof is in the pudding," or so I've heard it saidMugging For Pennies
2004 Feb 13"What is your destination, child?Dangerously We Fly
2004 Jan 4"Wherefore honkest thou," said I, "although in neighing guise?"Without Looking Twice
2004 Mar 16"Why do you carry hamsters in your pockets?" demanded Mrs. PringleBecause I Am Seesawing
2003 Jul 27"You smell bad, Father William," the young man said,Parental
2003 May 12 Our Sword Unsheathed by Metaphors
2004 Mar 16 Relying On Our Native Discretion
1996 Dec 27'"Inertia"? What a charming name!'The Lilliputan Comb
2004 Jun 22'A Fiery Flying Roll', you claimA Very Lodestone
2001 Aug 7'A ton of prunes, a pickled egg, two muskets and a globe?'Washed and Dried in Time
1998 Mar 16'A' was an Arctic AbacusZ's Bequest (The Gamut)
2000 Nov 2'Bring me a fish with a pear in its mouth!'When Shoes Falter
2002 Oct 21'Cobblers, plain bloody cobblers', the fireman roared,Electon
2002 Mar 25'Craddock's Cat Biscuits are finer by far!', the radio blaredCacophonic, Electric, Adamant
2001 Oct 7'Cusp' she speltThe Duplicitous Dumpling
1998 Jan 23'Don't carry the coal to the amethyst pool,For Tadpole Perkins
1999 Apr 24'Festival of shouting!', so barked the trusty swainRomeo's Disagreeable Collapsible Peregrinations
1999 Aug 6'Give me back my arquebus!', cried Randolph Great the ThirdFor My Bunny Rabbit
2000 Oct 16'Give me the buzz!' I shrieked in blunt WelshTents Erected in Plymouth Sound
2000 Feb 7'Handle not the lesser fruit!', so spake the chieftain bold,Sugar Hates Recollections
2004 Mar 23'Here are the gum-boots you ordered, madam!'Subtle With Hotdogs
2001 Dec 7'I hear you have a speaker-phone'Skywards in Epping's Impenetrable Parkland
1997 Mar 25'I wonder', mused the conqueror, 'why lemons seldom sing'My Gallic Endorsements
2003 Nov 11'Incontinence for all!'Only Our Gambits Shall
1998 Mar 31'It is with most intense regretBeyond Homespun
2000 Mar 31'Just the place for a Snark!', the Boatman criedVacuity's Gin Rots One's Pudenda
2002 Jan 16'Leave me @peace.com', my nephew cried,Grandiose Gestures, Futile Drivel
2002 Aug 6'Make mine mink,' said the MinotaurBehind Beelzebub's Backyard
2003 Nov 25'Mediæval frolics in the gym?', the porter queried,Classes Unusual In School Environs
2004 Jan 16'Mr Spaceman, can't I travel,With Our Dentures Firmly Detached For Whitsuntide
2003 Jan 10'My suspenders came from France...', the naughty minx confessed,With Alewife Entwined
2002 Oct 3'Nautilus shall be my theme',Evensong, worn thin through scraping
2001 May 30'Pine kernels, artichokes, tuna, beef and cheese'Unlikely Spectacles Watch On The Firm
2004 Feb 4'Quite a clump,' he summarisedBorders For Uncle Monk
2002 Aug 7'Subtle', spelt with seven PsGartled Invertebrate Forum
2005 Dec 8'The first day of the rest of your life', they sang,Piebald Cheques
2002 Jan 16'The stratosphere is not so near,'Beckettt's Crispy Pacific Noodles
2003 Oct 15'This watch you sold me for a pig -Disaster and Cheek
2004 Jul 30'Tis the ebbing of the eyesGloucestershire Throughout Devon
2001 Nov 20'Tis time! 'Tis time! The deed is doneFrogmen Imminent
1997 Jan 4'Twas a frothy foam upon the wakeMy Favorite Plunderings
2000 Apr 27'Twas brillig and the coach and fourSlithy Again
2003 Nov 30'Twas Christmas in the workhouseOften During Christmas
2002 Jan 9'Twas on a moonsoaked midnightThe Reborn Tuna Despair for Mayonnaise
2003 Oct 20'Twas on the 8th of August that the taxman came to callDignity for Sixty Six Possible Consonants
2004 Jun 2'Twas Pope who wrote that angels fearDunciad Variorum
2003 Jul 17'Twas zillig and the mangrove whipsWhackerwocky
2004 Jan 17'Ulalume, ulalume,' said Edgar Allan PoeLaundanum Language
2000 Jan 5'Well, stap me vitals!' swore William Hague:Melt-Down Happens Nightly
2000 Jul 11'Why have you tied up Granny?' the little girl was askedHenderson's Decline
2003 Jul 19(haiku) Little lips and toesThaw
2003 Jul 19(haiku) Three rings on my noseOmphalos
2003 Jul 19(haiku) When once I stood uponUntitled
2003 Jul 20(haiku) He spoke haltinglyUncertain
2003 Jul 23(haiku) I think your feet stinkStinky Feet
2003 Jul 19(haiku) I've forgotten muchPhew, Too
2003 Oct 23(haiku) Seven plumquats sitIn Nougat
2003 Jul 20(haiku) Why must you insistExistentially Imbued
2003 Jul 21(limerick) There was a young maiden from VenusPlanets of Repeated Sincerity
2003 Jul 20(limerick) I knew an old gal from QuebecUntitled
2003 Jul 29(limerick) There was an old lady from WalesNo More Edible Pope
2003 Aug 18102 poems in just over a week - do none of you sleep? I'm ready to weepBlasted Poets
2001 Jan 216 x 6 - from wall to wallShutters Fold Tightly Again
2006 Sep 6This poem is dedicated to the memory of Marmaduke ApsleyThe Surplus Blondes In Swindon
2003 Oct 23Andromaque: 'twixt bloodied sheetsGene Pylons
2006 May 15Catch 22The Weather Of Mine Heart
2003 Dec 14Cold, you say?Sorry Excuses
2005 Sep 27EnvoiPrematurely Concluded
2003 Dec 29A 21st Century Christmas CarolFirst Glimpse Of Summer This Autumn
2006 Feb 10A basement, and a base intrigueBoots Were Made Before Souls
2006 Jun 16A beach-ball and a pancreasLettuce For Sodomy
1997 Jan 22A beast with two backsSeemly Onions
2003 Sep 4A big bloke called Gojko the SerbA Journey
2002 Nov 12A biscuit and a cup of teaThe Submarine Horizons
2003 Aug 6A bleeding broken heartNever Wake, But Often Dreams
2002 Jan 8A box of lead, filled up with stones,Three-thousand Tall Blonde Pastries
2002 Jul 24A brass ring through the eye-lidWhile All Those Has-Beens Dance
2004 Jan 29A burst of poignant doctrineMayoral Heart-throbs
2004 Jan 9A cannon-ball into the poolMöbius Dancing
2002 Apr 14A caramel pig once sat on the throneMelting Pot Ritual
2002 Oct 4A cardboard egg tastes just as goodLet's Beat Up Apsley
2006 May 23A carrot lay upon the bankInto The Vegetable
2007 Jan 16A carthorse, baked in breadFly Nightmares
1997 May 18A Case of Riotous BlockA Snail Keeps Shop
1999 Jul 18A Cautionary TaleMy Slapdash Endgame
2003 Nov 7A corset for the craniumWhat The Great Are
2003 Sep 17A costive agent knows too wellA Meadowlark Crumbling in Basalt
2003 Oct 29A day in the life of...Secretly, in Aberdeen
2006 Jul 6A dinghy's captain, fearing wreckSocialists Challenging A Shutdown
2007 Apr 11A dozen spindly orphansPop Goes My Rotten Hamster
2004 Aug 27A drooping, stealthful melodyThe Least Suspicious Concertina
2000 Jun 12A feast of fumes, a feast of fumesOur Ugliest Newly-Weds Disgust Me
2002 May 1A feather riding high upon a wave of breezeBig, Dangerous Camel
2002 Dec 5A female, young, of ill repute,Applause for Melodious Metal
2005 Jul 22A fledgling wasp once took the timeMated By Happenstance
2004 Aug 30A flibbertigibbet you are, aha!Travelers That Float
2003 Jun 18A flock of hungry magpies cameTurned on by Ghostwriters
2003 Sep 1A French kiss from the Blarney StoneChipping Proverbs
2002 Jul 12A friendly leaf once gave me quite a fright:Immediately to the North of Dorking
2002 Jul 10A frond of bracken in the hairWhistling Tortoises
2003 Dec 21A frozen smile has crossed her sullen faceSubzero Igloos
2004 Nov 14A gentleman of oriental characterHittite Words Of Unforgiving
2003 Oct 2A gerbil in a racing carArts Other Than Those I Cherish
1997 Dec 14A ghastly mismeasure of woman,Of Struggling Poets and Pious Days
2001 Dec 21A glass of claret twice per dayOrphans Drinking Deftly
2004 Jul 9A globe for tea, crammed high with brine,North-east Is Henceforth Banished
2004 Mar 16A granite sheet does not get crumpled,To Your Abiding Toadstools
2006 Jul 31A grave is not a flowerbedMalodorous Relatives By Night
1999 Feb 2A grey seal, with grace of an eelFerdinand's Elm
2003 Nov 7A handsome young mackeral, named Frank,Fishy Outlaw Escapes
1999 Feb 3A harsh law, or an honest law?Tenacious Loip
2003 Aug 29A healthy meal of beans is the way to startWhen a Door is Drunk
2002 May 16A Hindu Deity is often blessedThat's the Ticket!
2001 Jan 15A is for the alligators alcoholically inclined,Ode Scribbled Rudely by Lennon
2000 May 24A kangaroo I used to knowAnti-Dandruff Cornflakes
2000 Nov 22A kangaroo tried in a wallaby courtMeanwhile, Back Under the Duvet...
1997 Feb 6A kiss and a cuddleAphorisms for Unseen Swine
2001 Jul 27A lamb-chop once asked meSurprise Ending
2003 Aug 14A limerick often is dirtyHe-she me?
2004 Sep 8A limerick written by meThe Snowman Assassinated By Fibreglass Mittens
2003 Nov 13A line of sawdust or cocaineFructose Frogs For Little Boys
1998 Jun 8A man in blackface wandered into the hallSausages in Strangeness
2003 Dec 29A man must walk down twenty roadsWindy City Icicles
2004 Dec 8A man once played my didgeridooParts That Require Frequent Calibration
2003 Sep 26A man with a prong on his noseOnce You Forget My Name, A Strange Leathery Complexion Beckons
2003 Nov 29A man with a prong on his noseThe Proper Toes
2003 Jul 17A masterpiece will now unfoldTime and Chance Combine in a Shocking Display of Crudity
2003 Nov 27A mesomorph, a mesomorphYour Own Secret Body
2003 Nov 17A mighty creature is the wifeExceptional Disgrace
2004 Jul 21A mile or so beyondDreams Of Soup Kitchens
2001 Jan 11A monstrous sneeze assails the earsSunday, We Confess
2003 Aug 4A mothball larger than the sunMy Other Lifetime was a Thing Foregone
2004 Jun 25A muse might amuse usSubliminal Telemetry Wasted
2003 Dec 2A narry stight, a brentle geezeDyslexia Is A Condition Much Like Nay Other
2007 Mar 9A nasturtium, rambling fine and crunchy,Never Meant to Harm
2004 Jan 26A new bordello - civic, clean - is what Wisconsin needsArgument For Exceptions
2003 Nov 11A new indictment for the meekComa Compasses
2006 Apr 4A night of perfect chaosPowers That Remain Potent
2002 Oct 29A notorious threnody pleasesCedric the Waitress
2002 May 16A packet of cheese defies the knife,Apparent Crimes
2003 Jun 21A paper, a line, a bubble, a tinAwakening the Aluminum Jetsam
1998 Jan 30A parent who neglects the tasksConical Catharsis
2003 Nov 2A pattern is emergingPirates And Self-Loathing
2005 Jan 6A pelvis drowned in custardI Surface Behind The Lamps
2003 Oct 17A pennyweight of muskets scattered on the dockThe Pennyweight Sauce
2004 Mar 25A pepperoni sandwich from the PopeCardinal In Error
2000 Dec 23A perfect wedding in the snowMy Raving Virgin
2000 Nov 3A pestilence, a nuisance, a wretched waste of time!Spartan Opinions Devour Our Siblings
2004 Feb 5A pickle I wanted, and yet that darn lidWresting Joy From Daily Pickles
2003 Nov 6A piece of verse should pierce the soulRather A Pain For The Fairy
2001 Nov 17A pint of gin to steel the nervesLenten Orgy
2002 Dec 24A pint of Scruttock's in my handBecause I've Died Peacefully Enough
2000 Feb 8A plethora of penguins is rarely to be foundBottomless Yachting
1999 Sep 23A Plutonian plutocracy, a demonized democracy,Anathema or Assonance
2003 Aug 20A poem sat, neglected, unlovedStop
2004 Jan 15A poem without the same old formatNon-invasive Skins
2003 Apr 17A poem's frail corpse is like a treeCarefulness Begets Sincerity
2004 Jan 3A pot of glue left me unstuckCocker Mouthwash
2001 Jun 20A pound of cheese is just the stuffPointless Noses
2003 Nov 2A pound of grease is just the stuffRecommendation To Decline Molloy's Meringues
2003 Nov 3A pound of osmium breaks all banksLawfully Invalidated Fishing Permit
2004 Feb 3A puma won't return the gaze of RilkeCaspar Caged
2000 Jun 20A rabid armadillo with a beanbag on its headVacuum Cleaners Constructed Entirely Out Of Anabaptist Dogma
1999 Dec 14A random collection of wordsScreaming by Rote
2003 Jul 10A red hen, convinced that her eggs were sublime,Ketchup Alchemy
2004 Nov 25A revolution, velvet-lined,Wenceslas Is Square Enough For Most
2002 Nov 19A Roland and an Oliver!My No Nonsense Dream
2003 Jun 19A rushing tide, a rushing tideUneven Recipe
2001 Jul 20A saucer of sour milk for my companion!Misspelt Youth Syndrome
2005 Nov 13A secret doorGoodfellow Moses
1999 Jan 30A shrew without wingsEarth Telegram
2000 May 1A silver bird, set in a leaden skyAbhorrent Paradises
1999 Mar 6A simple thought occured today, entirely on its' ownSugared Death Watching
2005 Jul 12A Singer of Rats was electedStarting Northwards, In No Uncertain Protocol
2001 Nov 17A slice of bread, varinshed with wax,Leave Meetings Behind
2002 Jul 17A slice of cake, soaked in madeira,Lent Without Sister Amelia
2003 Aug 5A small chunky moon drifts or perhapsRelativity In Guise Of The Moving Moon
1999 Jan 25A small crimson telephone quiversSensible Noses
2005 Sep 1A small explosionDetonating Error
2003 Nov 23A small incision in the chest-wallNever Knowingly Renounce Walk-on Parts
1998 Sep 19A snowman, weaned on Castor OilEpitaph for the Ninth Night Shift
2003 Aug 7A sodium glow smolders in the skyApocalypse (Soon)
2006 Jun 11A song for hake, an anthem, ho!Testimonial Of Unrest
2003 Nov 7A stack of broken furniture is set ablaze tonightSpoons Succumb To Fawkes
2005 Jan 19A subpoena has been issued (you were asking for it)Plausibly Roguish
1997 Mar 23A summer's day, there comes an errant knightUpon Losing Worlds Of Azure
2006 Sep 1A superhero needs a capeYour Villain In This Style
2004 Mar 26A surgeon addicted to soupOtherworldly Newsagent With Or Without Croutons
1997 Jun 7A table of kinship for all the world's catsFifteen Oblique Whiskers
2003 Oct 2A tap on the spinePerspective Isn't All Unlikely
2004 Jun 30A thesaurus was stoned to death, a diction'ry was raped,Maidens Irritated When Their Purity Runs Out
2002 Mar 15A thimble, filled with tepid brineThus Spake the Dingo Baker
1999 Mar 23A third knee is a mighty boonMy Boatswain's Left Baboon
2003 Sep 1A thousand opportunitiesEven Time Will Have to Tread the Path
2000 Jan 4A thousand years and each one goneDome Settling Dimly
2004 Oct 8A tide of rash assumptionsNot Allowed In Our Picnics
2003 Aug 24A toast by any other name is but burnt breadEager Beef
2004 Jun 1A venerated halibut consecrated massSing Soprano Like They're Sniffing
2003 Oct 14A vessel most unfit for seaBlamobilog's Last Return
2003 Oct 24A walk in the park is all very nicePerhaps You Think I'll Hide
2003 Nov 25A walking shrub shall grace our shoresDubious Peacenik
2000 Nov 8A wallaby, tried in a kangaroo courtFailure Threaded By Screws
2002 Mar 5A waltz a day is not enoughNegating
2001 Jul 29A waterfall, in which the whaleMy Oceanic History
2003 Sep 26A weakness for detailMail-Room Mystery
2004 Jun 23A whipping-boySinging For Our Tea In C
2003 Oct 1A wistful momentThe Elemental Blimey
2001 Nov 22A wooden Gospel, baked as boneOnce Knighted, Twice Blighted, Thrice Sighted!
2004 Aug 23A young anthropologist criedNuptial Mishaps With Long Knives
2003 Nov 25Aborted in its primeUnderwater Clouds
1997 Jan 12Above the burning snowTomorrow Hardly Trying
2003 Nov 28Abrasively, your parrot squawksUnless You're The Household Pet
2002 Aug 30Accipiters offend her by slaying unborn lepusArtem and I
1999 Nov 12Achilles stole my hobby-horseFermenting the Woman from the Surgery
2003 Sep 3Ack! My poetic license has been revoked!Verse Justice
1999 Apr 15Acres of acrid slime do not make a gardenUncle Gomez's Dinosaur Eggs
2000 Jun 13Across the hills a cry rang out:To Hypnotise Badgers Bereft Of Discretion
2003 Dec 9Across the rolling Irish hills, he rode for Dublin-townWhatever Is Your Pleasure
2003 Sep 3Across the time-zones, rhymesters meetSweet Global Soup
2005 Sep 19Action is as action doesCharity Enough For Now
2004 Dec 11Adam and Eve had reason to grieveWatery Flapjacks, Damn It!
2007 Jan 15Add a fraction from the jarRecipe For A Very Quiet Airplane
2004 Sep 7Add some resin to the pulp, and deftly stir:Culinary Experts Seldom Agree
2001 Aug 17Add your own line to the poemVery Figurative
2004 Aug 17Affectless nomadsNomads Are Only Upright Hayseeds
2003 Nov 20After searching high and low, I finally foundToothy
2006 Jul 28Again, at the cathedralSuch Gravitas Is Wasted
2003 Nov 22Against a sky of brooding greenThe Ancient Dreams Of Ken
2004 Feb 20Agnes played the cymbals, three nights a weekFlawed Inheritance
2003 Oct 21Ah, your onyx eyes and sequined purseOther Pubic Grindings
2003 Aug 12Alan Aardvark ate applesCremated For Bystanders
2003 Jul 26Alas! Oy vey! My tires are flatThe Bitter End (Alas I Died Homeless)
2003 May 1Alas! The Golden Treasury has been lootedLooters
2005 Aug 8Algorithms for the blindApparatus For Removing Apparatus
***1997 Nov 25Alice frowned; all around, leaves were falling to the groundAlice's Peculiar Revenge
1998 Apr 24Alice threw the looking-glassAlice's Adventures in the Improbability Pie
2003 Jul 30Aliens squirted mustard in my faceAlien Hissy Fit
1999 Oct 14All dressed up and nowhere to goAhab Still Got Those Almighty Moonshine Blues
2004 Jan 11All I crave is a little attentionForgotten Blips Of The Ages Neolithic
2006 Jan 26All is confirmedAnother Round Of Hand Puppets For Reelection
2006 Jan 26All is confirmedOff Kilter
2004 Jan 12All is quiet; my morning cup of tea is steaming in my handsQuietude Is Surrender
2004 Jan 14All is quiet; my morning cup of tea is steaming in my handsTugged Up
1999 Sep 7All right he said, I think I willRenaissance Dental Imperfections Gallery
2002 Jan 3All the lonely peopleMackenzie is Certainly Faster
2001 Dec 12AloneStanley Knife, Solid Flesh
2001 Sep 24Along the mute canalCartwright's Innocence Unleashed
2001 Jan 6Alphabetic poetry often canFinnegan's Ascending Nostril
2000 Jan 29Although her skull is squat and flatHer nerveless dressing-table, regarding which
1999 Jun 11Although our raft is still maroonedWetness, Damp Socks, and Prawns
1997 Dec 12Although you're tall, and giftedBut Actually...
2003 Oct 9Among the elbows, as a rogueHonestly, If Anyone Dares Mention Earwax Again...
2003 Jul 18Ampersand, I love theeEmpty Promises among the Symbols of the North
2000 Jun 9An addictive personalityWhen It's When
2004 May 27An adman amiably assertedAfter Backward Cause
2005 Feb 9An agéd man in green I sawSkin For Us Those Infidel Shareholders
2003 Jun 17An airworthy albatross alights atop an archAnother Darwin
1999 Jan 24An amphora of Egyptian darknessMusic Shadows Repetitively
2001 Jan 9An ant always admires actorsA Prawn Parading
1997 Dec 9An arbitrary asp might say,Breakfasting Traditionally
2006 Jun 22An awful example of verseGrave Mayhem
2003 Sep 20An empty page isDrooling Without Dementia
2004 Aug 27An escapee from sanity: that's mePoorly Bohemians After Supper
2003 Aug 17An inauspicious bread-line debutWhere Computations Love Cabbage Soup
2004 Oct 4An omission, in the dyke,Ruinously Enough
2003 Oct 11An overpriced player called RioRearward Facing Gum Machines Realise Their Cosmic Purpose
2003 Sep 2An uncle, all carbonA Relief
2005 Jan 27And here are the picturesThe Christmas Milkmen
2003 Jun 16And I thought it might be morningPerhaps
2003 Sep 25And now I leave this lunchtime landDisoriented
1998 Mar 23Andante, my love, for we've hours a-plentyBuns
2004 Sep 1Andromeda, I cry to theePlans For Nobody
2001 Oct 2Angels in the centrifugeVery Old Highlanders
2003 Aug 11Angry aged alsationsThe Alphabet Tastes Best Cold
2004 Jul 19Annie Lennox drove my carDisco Infernal
2003 Jul 26Anonymously the poems flowTravelling with Someone
2003 Nov 11Another buck; the symbols spinLondoners In Vegas
2003 Sep 21Another call from AbrahamInput Commandments
2003 Aug 18Another new poem, now what will it be?Synthetic Harmony, Synthetic Reflections
2004 Apr 25Another Red poem commencesMy Slide Transmission
2003 Jan 12Another riposteCommentary Arising From My Previous Uncials
2003 Mar 28Another thousand syllablesTendentious Reassurances
2003 Nov 25Another turning point, a fork stuck in the roadGrowing Like Bacteria
2003 Nov 5Another web, another fly, another day has wrapped - yet IPray For Dinner
2003 Oct 2Another year on, the question arises:Absorbent Syllables
2003 Nov 27Anthony BlairGrudges Over The Family Fishing Rights
2003 Nov 20Anthony Brown caused doubts everywhereAlphabetically Defined
2003 Jul 9Anthrax! Anthrax! cried Frau SchmetterlingChronic Sparrows of Pathology
2003 Jul 22Ants are smart, oh they're smart, oh they think they're so smartCactus Ants
2003 Aug 15Anyone asking about applesReplacement Of My Jaundiced Petticoat
2002 Jul 10Apostles of the menopauseDuring Gordon's Last Gloaming
2000 Apr 5April is the cruellest monthHeather Eliot's Bottom Line
2000 Nov 23Apsley wrote a novel about a small baboonMy goodness... my gumboot
2000 Feb 29Arabella Spommit and her shapely cousins threeApsley's Painful Direction
2000 Apr 9Arabella Spommit had a cat made out of cheeseRadishes Cloned My Goat!
2000 Apr 5Arabella Spommit had three cousins slim and tallFraternal Greetings To Reverend Cuticle's Oppossum
2000 Apr 4Arabella Spommit was a temptress, all allure;The Cakes, The Knife
2000 Apr 9Arabella Spommit wrote her cup-size on a mouseMy Warning Ignored
2003 Nov 3Archaic persons, flummoxedDisaster Contest
2001 Oct 10Architecture! Drifting slowSaved By The Old Handbags Again
2005 Dec 8Are you going to Scarborough Fair?No Thanks, Kenneth
2006 May 15Are you prepared to revealMen Without Equations
2004 Apr 18Arnold Berry, quite contrary,Nursery Rhymes for Lawyers, Juries and Judges
2003 Sep 5Arrrrghhh!!!!Sneezing
1997 Feb 17Art serves to remind us all,Artless
2004 Jul 22Artichokes stop chasing, when the sunset glows,Horticultural Adages Designed By Sadistic Schoolmarms
2000 Jan 3As Christmas nears I lift my penProtracted Metrical Hermeneutic Festivities
2002 Oct 3As fine a feast as man has knownImpersonating Nelson for Fun!
2002 Jan 2As he jumped from the peak of the mountain of SlibbLately Confused Shirts
2000 Jul 22As I was going up the stair, I met a froglet tall and square.Mr Stilton Stalks The Underground
2000 Jul 10As I was walking all aloneTotally Dissimilar Sausages (With Mustard)
2003 Jan 24As lame as a fishOrfeo The Ineluctable
1997 Mar 5As Maya turned the pageMaya's Misty Watercolor Blues
2000 Jun 1As the bland computer whinesBangles in Temptation
2004 May 13As the orders start to dryBetter Lettuce Forthcoming
2002 Sep 10As the world wheels it way around the skySide-Salad Mechanisms
2007 Feb 26As to orientation I've begun a new éliteInterface Not Found - Contact the Librarian
1997 Sep 10As we crested the brow of the ultimate hillHighgate Hopeful
2003 Dec 3As we know, there are known knownsI Admire The Willingness
***1997 Feb 21As we starve in our secret AlaskasDreaming of a Swamp and the Holy River
1999 Mar 23As we waited for the bus to mow the wicked postman downAn Entropic Encroachment
2007 Feb 5As with gladness men of oldEscapades That Truncate Themselves
2004 Sep 14As with gladness men of oldNot Princeton, Nor Any Other Halls Of Improvement
2004 Dec 10As with so many medicinal jokesTowards Our Preordained Tenements
1997 Feb 24Ask anyone about my woes,Insensible Blandishments
2005 Feb 4Astride a blazing horseOver And Outhouse
2006 Jun 15Astride a red-hot anvilHow Many Such Openings Have We Squandered?
2006 Jun 3Astride an ice-cold anvilHow It Was Before
2003 Jan 22Astride the edge of any knifeWhat Are Flemish Trousers?
2003 Aug 14At 4 o'clock on Sunday, with nothing much to doSemantics Alone
2004 May 9At a quarter past one on the fifteenth of MaySurprise Dentistry
2006 May 12At altitudes like theseOnly Lagging
2001 Feb 27At dawn we slew another pigCaptain Scott's Implosion
2004 Jul 2At first, it seemed an ordinary dayThe Tale Of Squabbling Archangels
2003 Oct 1At Halifax, the Muses gather roundThe Pretentious Structures For Tasting My Oeuvre
1996 Dec 16At Hampton WickMore Heretical Bombast
1998 May 2At last I have the chance to spread my wings and versifyOnce We Devoured Magma
2004 Aug 19At least it isn't hailingFriday Night Aspirants
2005 Jul 18At seven GsHeave Aside Our Plundering Pharoah
2004 Apr 2At the age of thirty-sevenFaithful Enough Before Lunch
2003 Sep 24At the crack of day when the baby birds do singPractise The Birdy
1999 Feb 8At the end of my tether I fastened a kiteFrom...
1996 Nov 1At the risk of sounding spiteful, I shall tell you what I thinkJail-mouth Slime
***1999 Dec 24At this festive, glowing seasonYou'll be a Laughing-stock Tomorrow
2004 Aug 20At this time, most every day,Meringue-laden Exclamations
2003 Sep 5At times the truth may not appear the best approach to takePutting the Carthorse Before Zen
2004 Feb 15Atop my desk, her portrait staredUnblinking Again
2004 Jun 1Atop the hill the castle stoodRaindrops Keep Dripping On The Photoshoot
2003 Sep 25Attend the tale of Jack the LadThe Intent Of Noses
2000 Aug 14August presence or August presents, what will be thy choice?Birthdays Passed Without Mints
2002 Sep 20August the eighth, Oh August the eighthAnniversary Epithets (if any)
2003 Aug 21Aussie rock lyric challengeNot Yet Nice Enough
2003 Nov 1Avast me hearties! Haul away!Yo-Ho-Ho, Piratical Barnacles
2003 Jul 22Awake ye slumberers, and greet the dayMorning is Dead
2003 Jul 17Awake! for midnight at the witching hourTick
2005 Feb 22Awake! Before the porridge starts to burn!The Alphabet Artfully Reconstructed From Bedsprings
2000 Jun 23Away on the heather'd downUnseen Behind Ourselves Again
1999 Dec 19Away! Here's neither inn nor mangerOn Heat For Months
2005 Nov 16Awestruck in the horse-truck,Guile In Any May
2004 Oct 20Babbling as the brook in spate,His Lady Grammarian
2004 Sep 1Back at the beginningIt Never Raineth On The Holy Fool
2004 Aug 27Back at the beginningNot What It Seems
2003 Jan 30Balanced calm across the bayZen Roots
2004 Jul 9Banalities, encountered twice,Hideum Cat
2006 Feb 22Bandsaw. Egret. Alpenstock.Slighted By Angels
2005 Sep 24Banish poets? To The Pole?Platonic Scooter Or Worse
2003 Oct 15Barmy rain lady, why stand in the rain?Yesteryear Forgotten
1996 Jul 1Barquentine of Arkansas, the dismal oaf here,Voluntary Pith
2006 Jun 22Basingstoke is mentioned in Henry 4 Part 2Distressing
2002 Oct 15Bazooka? Not in my bit of jungle!Underneath Seattle
2004 Jan 20Be glad that Wall Street's closed todayWhom To Enchant?
2003 Sep 5Be like the squirrelGoose Nuts
2004 Aug 27Be loyal to your captain, soldier: he was once a man like youBoot Cramp Without Due Cause
2006 Aug 31Be not so blue, my dainty dove,Cried The Idyll
2006 May 22Be wary of the snigglewatsJabberwocky, The Lyrics
2003 Nov 28Beans, beans, the musical fruitPhew! Poodles!
2006 Jul 28Because I could not stop for LunchMarket Anomalies Perpetrated By Emily Dickens
2004 Jul 1Beckham, Rooney, Owen and ScholesDefenestrating Our Noisome Entertainers
2003 Jun 17Bedevilled by mosquitoesCaramelised Jamboree Bags
2000 Nov 21Beefy, Loaf and Costorphine all went upon a jaunt,Favourite Cheese-Mongers
2003 Oct 23Before enraptured earthworms find youDon't Align Me!
2004 Apr 14Before expiring, Genghis said:Who Dares Grins
2005 Apr 14Before I close this inquestWe Wish You Joy Of Haggis
2003 Aug 25Before I owned a goat-face maskGoatishness : A Change For The Better
1997 Aug 29Before I sensed this vacuumYour Gerbils, My Hotelier
2000 Mar 11Before taking part in this scandalous hoaxThe Dismembered Thumbs
1998 Mar 18Before the dawn, the darkest hourHomer, Art Thou Heat and Lightness?
2005 Feb 16Before the gullet goes to groundEver Onward Through Muck
***1999 Oct 16Before the porcupine descendsThe Knight who Rode a Goat to Barcelona
2006 Jun 12Before you read the second lineMonday Present
2003 Nov 18Begin again: restart anewThe Gods Of My Great Grandfather
1998 May 9Behind each King or potentateBenedict the Monstrous Toadstool
2004 Dec 9Behind the bandstand, when we daredThe Hurricane That Tore Our Beloved Condominium From Its Very Foundation
2004 Jul 13Behind the grizzled pineWeather-vane Warning
2003 May 18Behind the nipple's cruel intentLaughing Down by the Maelstrom
2005 Jul 30Behold a scone that I have baked!Duodenal Backwater
2002 Nov 18Behold her single in the fieldEarthenware Thinkers
2003 Dec 29Behold mankind, how fragile it's lifeIgnoring Problems
1998 May 14Behold the frugal cactusFrugal the Frog
2007 Jan 24Behold the Lamb of GodExegetical Heresies
2002 Nov 27Behold the poet, in her shack!Bluebells for Another Day
2004 Jun 1Behold the scold:Nepalese Danceuse Observed Using Stun-guns
2004 Jun 24Behold the spineless fossilDeaf Though They Be Dubbed
2004 Sep 3Behold!Sages Of Most Definite Hopefulness
2006 Jan 11Behold, the Fifth AmendmentHow Silently, How Clumsily
2001 Nov 22Being a tomato-knifeLet's Have Time to Fondle
1998 Mar 2Beneath the tea tree sits the gnome,Jesus pondering a delightful catachresis
2001 Jan 9Bengeo is just the place to start a bitter feudHer Northampton Boudoir
2002 Oct 22Benjamin Braddock got carried awayMr. And Mrs Kruschev's Treasured Collection of Victorian Iron Pullovers
2006 Jul 18Beringed, beribboned, clad in silksVoid Of Open Finery
2003 Dec 23Bespectacled, mustachioed--a man nondescriptSomeone Who For Once Is Not Averse To Changing Lanes
2003 Sep 10Beth and Lee got hitched in VegasA Romatic Ending
2005 Aug 23Betrayed by movements in the darkWhy We Ought Not To Bellow Faintly Throughout Our Dinner
2005 Aug 12Betrayed by movements in the darkThe Shark-infested Handbag
1997 Jul 9Betrayed! The voyeur's curtainOne Last Later
1997 Nov 28Between the barns, half-buriedClustering (Algorithm Played on a Gumby)
2003 Nov 11Between the kettle and the cotTea With Cartoons
2004 Jan 10Between the pilot and the prowAllowing Rembrandt His Fish Supper
2004 Jun 3Beyond the reach of kettle-leadsBailiff Only Because
2001 Apr 24Bianca grabbed me by the throat, and said I was a little stoat:Billiards, or Might My Love Be Undying?
2004 Jun 30Big Brother watches the housemates performIf If Why When How Who
2005 Dec 12Big fish, tiny pondAspire To Life
2003 Jan 28Big stuff is going down, dudeGroovy Chicks Abound Herein
2004 Jun 2Bigfoot saw the racehorseIntensify The Passion For Ophthalmology
2003 Jul 17Bill bought broken bric-a-bracMosquitos Hatched by Homework
2003 Aug 22Bill stood in Charing Cross looking at the departure boardMisery Trains
2003 Aug 24Bills are overdue, your car has broken downGlibness for Fakenham
2003 Sep 4Billy Mays here, Folks, to tell you about an incredible new product:Air Is Saleable To Those Who Don't Care
1998 Feb 9Bind me to a broken benchThe Moon Promises My Friend an Apricot
2003 Jan 4Bisexual biplanes bifurcatingXenophobic Popping
2004 Sep 10Biting on a leaden shell, I contemplate my doomCheery Thoughts About Society
1999 Mar 8Blamirog was wondering about the Blessed IsleBlamirog's Prophetic Landfall
2003 Aug 2Blank verse is but pretentious prose - discussWho Hasn't Written Doggerel?!
2004 Feb 24Blend one part soot and two parts saltWho Drank My Sorbet?
2001 Oct 3Blended with the hint of curling smoke came releaseHidden Are Our Own Inept Performances
2003 Sep 24Blessed are the spoonbillersBlessed are the Circular
2005 Jul 25Blesséd fragrance, of the Nile,Tartlets In Custardy
2002 Jan 15Bloody machine! Why won't it behave?Typist's Lament
2003 Sep 19Blossoms the color of bruisesRedemption of the Radishes
2002 Nov 22Blue Degrees or Royal Arch, in time,Sing for Switzerland, Salesperson!
1997 Apr 17Blue notes pour from the sax in the cornerToxic Fishpudding Blues
2002 Jan 22BNW, dreaded term, infects my thoughtHeavier Than Hymnodists
2003 Dec 12Body-rot, on crocodilesPies And Astrolabes
2002 Feb 7Boil my leg before you go -Heroic, We Know Nothing
2005 Feb 23Bold insurgence swept from coast to coastIf Perchance
2002 Jan 18Bones and twigs and a perilous ascentLove Icily Visible
2001 Nov 1Born with magic pubic hairTelevision Penis Disenfranchisement
2003 Oct 23Borneo in a biscuit-tinTsarist Biscuits, Long Ago
2004 Apr 24Bowls of mustard lined the hallPiquant Hostesses
2004 Apr 23Breaking down barriers and opening doorsIconoclasts Rarely Gain Entry To Disneyland
2004 Aug 9Breathlessly, you claim to beBuns Beyond Sunset
2000 Nov 25Bright she wasStories, Confabulations and Tears
2000 Nov 25Brighter than the cabbagesDustbins Spilt Diamonds
2001 May 21Bring me an egg-whisk, and sand-blast my shoes!False Tales of My Calumny
2006 Mar 2Bring me the bones of a man who is brokenInjunctions To The Barricades
2005 Jan 15Broad pretensions, on the board-walk,Stealth For Newfound Cheeses
2004 Mar 22Bromide in the afternoonSeveral Chemistry Sets
2003 Jul 18Brothels on the hill, tra laUntitled
2004 Jul 2Bruno's head, a perfect sphereDanish Polka
2001 May 14Bubbles float up grassy-treed slopesFlange Matrix - Paradise Of The Stars
1998 Oct 24Buckets of mud and acres of slime are all that I needCaroline Rembrandt Remembered Backwards
2005 Nov 18Buckets of slimePleasure for Godmothers
1997 Jul 30Burn my Waiting-ListSurplus Penguins
2002 Nov 26Burnt his fez upon the pyre?Matter, Not Marmite
2001 Dec 23Butterfingers BatterseaBehind Bermondsey Bridge
1997 Sep 20By 'Custody' I do not meanEchoes Echoes, Without
1998 Mar 9By chance, are you going my way?No Parsley for Matilda's Fruitcake
1999 Jan 25By dint of subtle mimeVery East Nineveh
1999 Apr 5By dint of subtle mimeThe Leather Ambulance Crumbles
2000 Apr 4By dressing up in surgeon's robesSuction By Toothsome Lip
1997 Apr 15By leaving no margin for errorHorse-Face Shrike In Lonely Dialogue
2000 Apr 12By portents, like the sun's eclipseYour Undoing
2002 Feb 4By the black infernal Styx I satPay for Teddy-bears
2003 Sep 9By the time you read this messageGargled End
2003 Apr 30By way of insulationCross-talk Knavery
2000 May 22Cadences so swift and deft that man could hardly followPlangent Daily Wailing
1999 Apr 24Calesthenic interprobes are launched into the SunUnwound wherries aloft
2004 Jul 14Calisthenic ribaldry shall not win you the prize!Fail By Then If Never
2004 Sep 19Call me a quackBut For Us And Them
2006 Feb 22Call your mother now and thenLesbian Cookbook Virtues
1999 Jan 22Calm throat fortuneZen Catfood
2000 Jun 25Calypso, on her vaulting-horseUnderneath The Forest Wall
2003 Sep 21Camille, thou most elegant doorstopToes of Paraffin
2004 Apr 26Can this be it? Can Spring be here?Looking Lively And Feeling Crap
2003 Aug 14Candidates PromisesClique That Promises Exploitation
2002 Nov 23Canons to the right of me, and deacons to the leftLent Spent in Clapton
1998 Nov 26Canterbury? No, it doesThe Labyrinthine City
2004 Jan 7Captain Mesmer brought me 'roundDespite Themselves
1997 Sep 15CardboardWhat if the Princess Can Seem Sentient Without Dissembling?
1998 Jan 27Carefully, she folds the fishNight's Temporary Wrists
1998 Feb 24Carmelites! Before we knowWHat Further Unsightly Turbulence Awaits Below?
***1999 Feb 9Carnivores, despite the lawsThe Lewd Mouths Squeal
2003 Dec 8Carol took my G.I. Joe and hitted him with a stickRude Feminism
2002 Oct 10Carp for breakfast, hake for tea:Chaos Theory Disproved
2003 Sep 26Carpe diem, as they sayA Simple Purveyor of Gaffes
1998 Mar 22Carpenter's, my only hope,Prayer Wheel Poker
2001 May 1Carrie was an acrobat who fell upon her headTumbling Kills. Water Falls.
1998 May 17Cartwheels begone! From shattered climesPutresco's Wondering
1998 Dec 2Carve this thought upon the barkMy Bahnhof Godparent
2002 Jan 7Carved in frozen gasolineMitochondrial Ne'er-do-wells
2000 Nov 27Cashier, change this love-noteNinepenny Lithuanians - A Rhapsody
2000 Feb 7Casually, through the wallNo Thinner Knot
2004 Jul 12Catachresis in the cryptTea-room Trumpery
1999 Mar 20Catastrophe has happened on a scale that Pride forbidsCessations in Cocktail-Waitressing
2007 Mar 2Catechresis mumbles, in the final act,Duplicitous Herrings in Identifiable Watercourses
2004 Oct 5Caught in cobwebs, smothered by your loveSince We Are Seldom Decoded
2004 Feb 5Cease to swayFarewell, Mutiny
2001 Sep 12Celebrate good times?Dense, Dense, Dense, Dense
2003 Dec 12Céline, we'll make a fortune if you'll sweat into this vatSmells Like Parfum
2003 Nov 17Chamonix, beside the nameWhen Things Deceive
2002 Jan 28Champagne was flowing down the stairs, perhaps.Who Wobbles Behind the Arras?
2000 Feb 2Champion of the photographNegative Elbow
2003 Oct 13Changed the channels 'til my fingers bledA Lacklustre Paragon
2003 Nov 28Charles, the Prince of WalesClerihews Are More Fun Than Sex
2004 Oct 22Charlie the cheerful chickenClucking Behind The Bicycle Sheds
2005 Jan 28Chastising priests becomes a sportPuberty Before Breakfast
2003 Sep 6Chatting can be difficultPersistent Fading
2003 Oct 7Cheer up, here's Mister MilkCheesecake Factory Tour
2001 Dec 12Chief among the mammalsBehold Our Anglican Remainders
2001 Nov 23Chief among the mammalsAreas Of Devoid
2003 Jul 18Children put on your thinking capsUntitled
1997 Apr 6Chiropracters, anarchists, and sheepRegarding Mr Slick
2004 Nov 18Choice apples, red or lilac, I now eatRediscovered Unchanged
2003 Jul 18Cholera, my only friendDeath, Shrug Off the Useless Punctuation
2002 Dec 12Christmas gloom is coming soonVenezuelans and Their Hated Sisters
1997 Nov 29Christopher Robin was captured by thoseRequisite Tragedy
2003 Sep 9Chrysostom ... wasn't he the saintThe Chrysostom Cathedral
2005 Mar 31Chucked up, chucked outOur Vectors Ineptly Computed
2004 Jun 2City slickers in the sunlightAfternoon Delight Until Midday
2005 Oct 31Clams are not my favoured dishVongole Al Limone Con Funghi
2003 Aug 21Close to the railway, hidden by bushesSpies Seeking Heat in Arabia
1998 Oct 5Clothing for the absent mindUnfamiliar Hair-brushes Gurgle
2006 May 25Clunk! Whrrrrrrr. Zzzzng.What Loving Euthanasia
2003 Nov 10Clutch as clutch canCluttered Nemesis
2003 Dec 7Clutched against her breastThe Great White Blancmange Of God
2006 Feb 23Clutching and screaming they summoned you hitherWe Can All Escape From This Hotel
2003 Jun 21Coconuts are hard to peelMy Habitat of Unkempt Mincemeat
2005 Jul 12Coddled mushrooms, all a-simmer,My Priapic Milestone
2005 Jan 4Coded in the final hourCycling Behind The Traces
2003 Oct 7Coffee grounds in the sink, the drain webbed with hairCoffee On My Yardstick
2003 Sep 22Coffee mugs are breeding groundsMugged
2004 Oct 26Cold crustaceans, diving deep,Effortless Abyss
2004 May 11Colossal, in a home-made hatZarathustra Lurking In The Out-tray
2000 Nov 19Colours anniversaryThough Bereft of Blossom
2003 Jul 24ComeMarkup Over Sense
2003 Nov 10Come an' listen to a story 'bout a man named JakeMy Painful Bass
2002 Apr 19Come into the garden, John, for the dark bat night has teethTennyson's Untreated Butane Vat Goes Whoosh
2004 Jan 14Come on baby, let'sYeah, Wow, Gollly, Gee, Gasp, Yep, Indeedy, Shucks
2003 Sep 3Come with me, My Love, and see good Nature's fairest flow'rHappy Ode to Love Unbounded
2004 Nov 29Come, let us dance, just you and IHypothesis Epsilon
1998 Feb 17Come, Luggage! There's a curious world I'm longing to exploreBorrowing Twilight
2001 May 30Coming back from London ZooWhenever Angels Return to Hampshire
2003 Nov 23Comparisons are odious, it has been said,The Ontological Rabbit-hutch
2004 Jan 25Competition in other placesImplacable Northerly Padrés
2003 May 17Complacent as a senatorManagement Facilitates, Managers Collide
2003 May 15Complacent as the MinotaurSucculent Retching
2003 Nov 17Compose a line: especial moonThe Anagrams Of Our Jumbled Selves
2003 Aug 26Compounded, as an alloyDimmer Switch Haikus
2004 Aug 27Comrade railcarWelcome To The Never-ending School
2004 Mar 8Congealing in a fusty boxA Mile Beyond The World May Be A Maiden
2000 Jan 25Consumed by Lust, whose second courseAbandoned Frightfulness
2002 Nov 12Continuous as the sharks that dineA Fourth Shortcake Detector
1999 Apr 4Conversations are a winding down of time for most,Homer Retranslated
2005 May 4Cookies and biscuits, crackers and bunsDoughboy Graduates
1999 May 8Cooler than the outer wallMajor Karamazov's On Call
2003 Jul 19Corky has a brand new wifeUntitled
2004 Jan 15Corporation. There we goReversed In The Wash Of Fortune
2005 Dec 15Corset strung as tight as tight,Hosiery On Half-forgotten Nuns
2000 Nov 6Costorphine was a CuttlefishBribes Inspire Returning MPs to Define Themselves as Caterpillars
2003 Oct 7Coughs and sneezesSpread Your Ears Skiffle Junkies
2003 Aug 6Could I borrow just a minute of your time?Ballad of Vermillion Dances
2006 May 12Could it be summer's here?When London Rose
2005 Jan 24Could you possibly close your sweet mouth as you chew?Trap For Attractive Babes
1999 Feb 4Count to ten, then start againMy Earliest Barnacle-Busting Memory
2000 Feb 13Cover me with asphalt as they do in Donegal!Kenneth: My Monster Pilot
1999 Apr 16Cowboy and Chabot are on the go!A Bergsonian Lullaby For Cats
***1997 Apr 30Cracked, but half asleepOvaltine Cannot Age My Kitten
2004 Jan 24Crayfish, lobster, crabPaternity Proves Nothing
2003 Aug 17Crewcuts, pompadours, bouffants, and mohawksFavorite Wigs
2005 Oct 5Criticism - from the ranks -Associations Lend Their Chevrons
2004 Mar 30Crumpets, muffins and baguettesTo Heroic Bakery
2003 Aug 17Cry wolfUntitled
2003 Nov 13Curtains for the front of houseOak-worm Veneer Heathcliff
2007 Jan 21Curves aplenty, on the bed,Not Nubile, Not Shadows
2002 Sep 29Cushions – when their time has passedAfter the Empire, Nothing New
2000 Mar 6Cut away, cut awayMy Smothered Haggis
2002 Mar 20Cuttlebone, my next of kinRevenge of the Defecating Cutlery
2003 Aug 22Cyberspace is crumblingSuperhighway Of Discontent
2005 Jan 26Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, DAMN!Enough Said: The Undershirts Finally Arrived
2003 Jul 18Damned hypocrisy! In truth I hate them allSanctum Inviolate
1996 Dec 15Day breaks like a condor's eggSoar, churlish repetiteur!
1997 Sep 14Dead as any dodoLockjaw Imminent
2005 May 3Dear, pour me out a single cup of tea,Blimey, Guv
***2005 Jan 11Delightful news! An heiress to the lineWelcome To Darci
2006 Sep 26Demanding menace with a payment,The Cauliflower Nuisance
2000 Dec 19Demons of the centrifugeEagles Can Never Despair
1998 Jul 27der Reim lernt eine neue SpracheNeugierig, oder?
2003 Sep 16Desmond stays at home and does his pretty facePub Coquettes
2005 Aug 12Despite a severe anaestheticNostrils, Each
2004 Aug 27Despite his utter shabbinessWestwards In Search Of Undiscovered Pastries
2004 Apr 2Despite this aberration, sirCanine Bearing
2003 Jun 23Dial 'Clockwork' for disturbanceConsidering Its Woodpigeons
2004 May 12Diapering tushies is really a bummerMotherhood In The Pasture
2003 Jul 24Did you ever wonder whyQuestioning Before
2000 Dec 13Dinner jacket,, morning-suitGetting to Loathe You
2003 Nov 10Disappear into the mist!Vanishing Dustbins In Dagenham
2002 Apr 18Disorder met confusionDetonated Milk-bottle
2003 Jul 17Dispel those neverending qualmsHope Squeals 'Wahoo!"
2003 Jul 24Dispense with long narrationThe Long Thin
2003 Nov 23Dispense with this vulgarity!Disembodied Stuff
2004 Jun 22Divest yourself of all your wealth!Lotteries Bring Us Little Snowdrops
2003 Jul 17Do mugwumps ever feel the acheThoreau Toejam
***2000 Apr 10Do not cry, my darling, do not cryRound/Arabesque
2004 Feb 10Do not go gently into that goodnightBaltic Bang
2003 Aug 7Do not go husky into that bad flightMenthols for Dinosaurs
2004 Jan 17Do not single out the fat for taking too much spaceThe Georgian Silhouettes
2003 Feb 20Doctrine of the spiral stairAcrimony for Unknown Pontiffs
2002 Sep 10Dodging through the rainbowsIll-qualified for Hoping
2005 Oct 23Does anybody come here any more?Pending Further Guests
2003 Aug 29Does anyone look forward to September?Time Calendric
2003 Aug 5Does your skin keep you warm in the night?Skin
1997 Sep 2Domestic blissMozart once wrote the longest andleastenjoyable limerick ever to darken anthologiesof versification
2006 Aug 10Don't forget to tie your shoesNever. Should We Windsurf
2002 Jan 31Don't give me your usual whinge!Crying Again
2004 May 8Don't invade us till the dawn,Thwarted By Occam
2003 Nov 7Don't let that horse eat that violinHuddersfield Pie
2003 Nov 13Don't revile me, don't come near!Inhaling Woolf's Ouevre
2004 Jan 8Don't take offence at what I say,The Giant Eyes Of Friendship
2003 Oct 15Don't think me ungrateful, butShaking Like Evaporating Milkmaids
2003 Dec 15Don't wear a cat for a hatMisuse Of That Darn Animal
2002 Aug 30Donkey shot, the French would call itFrau Jung Was My Mainstay
2003 Sep 14Dorian hung on my parlour wallGhosts for My Poster
2003 Sep 5Double-u double-u double-u dotWonders Nobody Knows
2001 Feb 16Doubled up with laughter, trebled up with woePalfreyman In Switzerland
2003 Sep 23Doubt is so corrosiveIsn't Doubt Corrosive?
2000 Jul 27Down in New York City is a craze that's hit the streetsB-Flat Tonsils
2003 Sep 23Down the gullet, soft and sweetFurther The Pope's Unwitting Conversion
2004 Feb 3Dr Who once gave me candy-floss to eatJelly-Babies Prefer Jelly-Parents
2003 Sep 26Dreaming gerbils in the sawdust dream of you and meKarma Rodents
2003 Oct 20Dreaming of a potted snipeAvoid Our Stranded Cactus
2003 Jan 8Dreary as a paper towelPlease Not Sideways, Arabella
2004 May 24Dreary, dreary dogsCircus Accountants
2004 Jul 1Dressing as a helicopterMy Cardboard Mother
2005 Nov 22Drinking round the clockWhat A Nefarious Newcomer Might Not Instantly Perceive As Worthwhile Is Often Valueless
2005 Oct 15Dross of ages past is oursAirworthy Kitchens
2001 Jun 28Drunken badgers and their TVsI'm Washing Pyjamas for Lunatics
2003 Nov 29Dusty streets and peeling paintVoluptuary Meter
1999 Feb 21Dying in Luxor with the Spoonbill chillCrystal All Along
2003 Jul 19Dyspeptic diehards turn me onUntitled
2003 Sep 6Dyspeptic Malthusians are roaming aboutThey Came Third
2006 Feb 11E wrote slowly, R wrote fastThe Great Critics
2000 Jun 20Each time I use the word 'defer'Nevertheless, Nuke the French
2002 Mar 3Echinacea, oil of rum, it's all the same to us!Sausage Pouting Pictured
1998 Feb 10Edgily, along the pierThoughts of Poseidon's Daughter
1997 Dec 16Eleven, six or eightIt's Entirely God's Business
2003 Nov 19Elusively, they flit awayWhen Einstein Saw Madonna
2004 Jul 14Emblematic? Regal? Or a waste of space,The Zimmer-frame Society
1998 Jan 31Emblems of the regal scornMy Soothsayer's Impeachment
2003 Sep 22Emergency! Emergency!Emergency Headlessness
2005 Jan 9Emily and Sally, Kathy and Loureen,Zeppo Lamenting
2003 Feb 20Emollient, conciliatory, I venturedFirst Downtime
2006 Apr 7Engrossed by the maudlin"How Curious!", Quoth The Melancholy Shrike
2001 Dec 13Enough of all this sniping, at the wizards great!When hamsters stammer
***1996 Dec 16Enough of your brutal evasions!Hectoring tripe
2003 Dec 4Ergonomic chairs and beds are presently on saleCogito Ergo Pogo
2003 Dec 9Erotic gherkin, looming in the duskCarbuncle City From My Window
2003 Oct 14Escape these shores I must, and head for foreign soilThe Apologetic Polka
2002 Sep 24Estimate the water's depthMachine Coffee: Grounds for Divorce
2007 Mar 29Ethel had the sharpest wit,Ancestral Portraits: Girl Askance
2006 Mar 29Ether, realEthereal Sequence
2003 Jul 18Every hepcat under heavenWas the...?
2003 Aug 15Every letter I have sent youBegging for Wink
1997 Jun 14Every thing hath a beginningSouth Margin Closed, Always
2002 Aug 7Exactly how surreal do you fish?Carp of a Thousand Drums
2003 Dec 8Excuse me, darling, have you put on some weight?Destiny In Pounds
2002 Apr 4Faint amalgam, fashioned quiteHannibal's Eggcup
2003 Jul 19Falafel was not feeling wellGarbanzos
1997 Oct 28Fancy Wills and Harry,The One Incorruptible Servomechanism (The Princes' Mile)
2002 Jul 3Fang by nature,After Misdemeanours
2003 Aug 3Far beyond the red-black morning skyIn Awe of Dangerous Lives
2003 Oct 19Faster than the human mind can ever comprehendGo-Faster Waistcoat
2006 May 4Feasting on the gouts of bloodLouse, Louise
1997 Jun 28Feeling queasy, turning greenWhy Force Can Rescue Folly
2003 Oct 1Feeling rather awkward, newly clad in neon eyewearIf Not Insouciance
2003 Aug 25Ferdinand the Porcupine was quite a prickly fellowAnd Then the Next Animal
2006 May 11Fester, farewellFester, Farewell
2003 Jan 9Fifteen men on the Dead Man's ChestJolly Thirsty Pirates
2000 Aug 3Fill up my brazen pockets with the water of the LoireStuffed Pets
2003 Sep 3Finally, the croissant burnsSomething Sinful For Basildon
2002 May 28Finesse the Queen! Finesse the Queen!Hearts, Like Crystals, Dissolve into Nothingness
2006 May 23First with the frostNone Save The Meistersinger
2003 Oct 4Fix what is brokenIf Wishes Were Forces
2006 May 1Fleeting vision, yesternight,Vienna In Pencil
2003 Sep 30Flippant poignancyGravel for My Poignant Cotillion
2003 Aug 12Flutes are mainly known by their abilityBecause the Orchestral Are Orchestral
1998 Jun 30Flying at thirty-eight times the speed of soundBedazzled by Our Daphne's Pebbledash
2000 Jan 14Folded like a deck-chairBarbecue Sores
2003 Nov 27Follow the players all over the globeMisplaced Devotion
2001 Nov 8For a man of the clothClothes Pegs
2003 Aug 25For all of you that don't believe in unicornsBelief Now!
2000 Feb 8For all your faultsFencing Our Glass Baby
1998 May 2For Macbeth it were done quickly,Inexpensive Shakespearian Blancmange
2003 Sep 30For many years, this story has remained untoldFasting with Predictable Terror
2002 Nov 27For once a poem with no drawn-out themesDigging Around The Graveyard
2004 May 13For the gloom that follows fireLest We Forgive Without Forgetting
2007 Feb 8For the Law was given through MosesWhatsoever It Findeth North of Dunfermline
2001 Nov 16Forests crash about my earsUnknown in Civilised Combat
2004 Feb 2Forget them all, their necks, their eyesPale Mutabilities Of Death In Wales
2003 Aug 25Forgive me if I salivate when Pavlov rings his bellWhy Forgive?
2003 Aug 4Forgive me if I sound perverseRhyme in Perversity
2000 Jan 15Fortune fattens the braveSuch Lucky Wickedness
2003 Nov 17Forty-seven atheists have gathered round my graveHazardous Waist
2003 Jun 22Foul, foul, foul, this weather's spentAlways One Vane
2003 Oct 10Four-and-twenty blackbirdsNumerous Wonderlands
1996 Dec 10Fourteen tubes of toothpaste mark my graveShakespearean Temptation
2003 Jul 19Francine can you fix the executioner line to fit the meter?Untitled
2003 Jul 19Francine, are you here?TITLESGOHERE
2003 Jul 19Free verse is my favorite form and so I say to you, "Garbanzo"Untitled
2004 Mar 24Free, with every Guernsey cowMilk Manoeuvres
1997 Nov 6Frequently, my brother speaksMichaelangelo's Lewd Little Brother
2003 Sep 27Friday evening's nearly hereStart The Timeclock Earlier
2003 Jul 23Fried mice and ferret stewDig it, Bonobos
2004 Apr 15Friends reunitedBeard Recognitions
1997 Mar 23From leprechaun to LancerLemur Song Unsung
2003 Aug 20From my window, I can seeWhy Are Doughtnuts Delicious?
2000 Jan 4From pyramid to penthouseA Formal Comeback For The New Millipede
2001 Nov 5From Russell Square to HolbornBalsamic Bus
2005 Oct 13From Sparta to SpainThe Final Acorn
2004 Apr 28From the Baltic, travel NorthUnsettled Directions
2005 Sep 8From the bottom of my footThe Railway Couplet Detected
1998 Sep 30From where will the words come?One-note Symphony on the Sudden Revolution
2002 Oct 10Frowsy Frederick did foretell fate,Trouser Leopard
2003 Oct 2Frozen embryosToo Soon To Reconnoitre
***2000 Feb 13Frugal the frogThe Minotaur's Preserved Tears
2001 Feb 8Full fathom five the aardvark liesRecant Nothing, Martyrs
2006 Jul 18Fun time for NatashaLonging For The Oligarch
2003 Nov 29Furtively, a polar bearThought Of The Mayoral Fool
2007 Jan 29Futility is much admired, by those outside this burgh,Uniformly Bunyan
2000 Jan 13Gad-about Gertrude, there she gapesCloudier Mystery
2000 Nov 3Galisha ga-galooshaNeapolitan Bore
2003 Jul 17Galumphing through the daisy fieldMushroom
2003 Nov 25George Dubbya BushIf Bentley
2002 May 11Giants, in their tedious wayExculpatory Dancing
2002 May 8Giants, in their tiny way,Cuttlebone Sandwiches
2001 Oct 23Gilded by an autumn sunCalf-Length Flight-Bone Prospects
2003 Nov 17Give a man sufficient ropeNor Eric Nor Unshaven Shirts
1999 May 14Give me a coin and pass byVulva buoy
1999 Jan 11Give me a goat and a piece of old rope and I walk right along to the fairCyber-Pogrom
2000 Apr 3Give me a piece of hoary old leather!Explode, My Foot!
***2000 Feb 27Give me a whirl on the trampoline dullRash Wednesday On The Grim Reeperbahn
1999 Dec 16Give me back my luncheon-meat!Bothering Without Etiquette
2000 Jun 1Give me bowls of carrots in the sunrise that is greyNever, Scarcely Ever
2000 May 7Give me some glue in pot coloured blueBusinessmen Halting Overhead
2004 Mar 18Give me the pen and invisible ink, and I'll write my life story for youDoves, Couples, Quarks, Exigencies
2004 Mar 19Give me the pen and invisible ink, and I'll write my life story for youOnly Once Is More Than Twice Times Two
2006 Feb 16Give this custard just one stirSirloin Of Thanet
2005 Nov 7Glimpsed through barbed wireHere Is Owl
2002 Jan 28Gloag by name, Gloag by nature;The Gorse Sandwich
2005 Jan 16Globe and Jerusalem, we venerateEmbonpoint Sandwiches
2002 Feb 4Glutinous grist is my dish of the day,Silently Fabulous
2004 Feb 25Goatish hovels - for the poor?All My Cousins, Surely
2003 Nov 24God speed to you, fair travellers allBlessings Aplenty For Apsley
2006 Jun 16Going out againDragon-tail Drunk
2003 Nov 12Golden apples in a silver bowlThe Metallic Allegory
2003 Nov 24Goliath in the cutlery-drawerArise, False Dawns!
2005 Oct 25Gone before its timeSeldom So Frequently
2005 Nov 13Gone from here, by twenty leagues,Cufflinks Fascinate Nobody Except Rasputin
2002 Oct 5Gone, the subtle;Erupting Like Flamingoes
2004 Mar 18Good citizens, attend this moral taleCustom Paintwork Jobs
2005 Nov 23Good Men, our good ship's run agroundThe Interplanetary Concavity Is How Deep
2003 Sep 2Good Morning, Mr. Soap!My Guts Reek
2003 Aug 20Goofy HaikusOnly A Warthog Won't
***1998 Jan 4Gorgonzola partridgeThe Throat Effect
2004 Jan 27Gorris!If The Janitor, When Juggling...
2003 Oct 13Gosh! That cat's obscenely fat!Extended Gravity From The Spectral Register
2004 Jul 6Got a nice new jerseyWe Never Boycott Oversights
2003 Dec 10Got any new poems to wreck?Wanton Destruction Is Assured
2004 Jun 14Got Venus in my TransitPalomar Mentors
2003 Sep 24Grandma still sports a teased bouffantGrandma Ain't Old Enough For Birthdays Any More
2005 Jan 24Grecian urns do not inspire these wordsKeatsian Devices
2003 Dec 13Greensleeves and wassail, angels galoreBoutiques Full Of Festive Knick-knacks
2002 Mar 7Gretel's luxuriant hairy schnauzer was a bitch!Gingerbread Housing Corporation
2007 Feb 15Grievances and Remonstrance are my middle namesPlutarch, Amnesia Abroad
2005 Sep 6Grizzled, in a state of tears,Neolithic Muesli
2001 Aug 22Groatweed grows by every vergeLight Grey Sunshine
2002 Sep 28Guacamole, whose brindled haunchBy Any Drowned Pavilion
2002 Sep 23Guile ... beyond its main intent,Sharing Lulu's Breakfast
2002 Oct 10Gullible wretches, so polished and pureLaundresses, Basements, and Pythons
***1997 Sep 26Gulls feed the skyWho Causes Jetsam?
2005 Feb 28Gurgling freeCustard Pied Wagtail
2003 Sep 3Gus Grissom ... wasn't he the dudeGuilelessly, No
2003 Sep 4Gus Grissom ... wasn't he the oneCrewcuts And Clangers
1999 Apr 13Gushing geysers greet the dwan with foam and spume and sprayUncivil Arcade
2002 Apr 2Gusts and mists are just the stuff of dreams...Schrödinger Blue
2003 Aug 11Haiku with me pleaseAutumn, Aimless, Now Upon Us
1997 Apr 26Hail! Hale-Bopp and roll upon your starry roundelayHarry In The Blue Toast-Rack
2007 Mar 6Hail, Nervosa TrollopLichfield Parkway Mumble
2005 Mar 28Halitosis hit me as he cut my hairBertrand Of Nimes In Anguish
2001 Aug 1Hamish McBoreal? The spaniel from the Glens?McBoreal's Adventure
2000 May 18Hamstrung by a woollen noosePolemic Polarity
2006 Jan 19Handel's CroatianIt Seems Pointless To Polka
2004 Jan 17Happy birthday, Kimberley, let's head off to the barWeekend Sorrows Melt In Ale
2003 Nov 16Happy ever after? Well, at least until that dayCaptain Of My Land
1998 Jan 20Happy New Year to the burghers of Strood!Soup Training - Who Cares?
2005 Oct 20Harold Pinter, author of Betrayal,Mermaids Sighing Affidavits
2001 Dec 7Harold was a potterIn Abandoned Transit-Vans
2004 May 17Harrumph, I sayWasted Needlework
***1999 Aug 17Has time stopped?Deathrow Welshmen Sometimes Tick
2004 Feb 3Have more wine and honey, darling,All That Blisters
2003 Jul 26Have you ever dated Lucy?You can't Have Sushi
2003 Aug 30Have you ever felt vibrating oscillatons?Perhaps reverberating resonations?Permanent Perdition
2004 Nov 2Have you ever rode a Trojan horse?OK, Naysayer
2003 Nov 27Have you ever thought of peppering your toes?Nothing Percolates Like Treacle
2006 Jun 7Have you ever thought of trimming your moustache?Lark Ovaries
2001 Feb 19Have you heard the story of the Chattlewhump, my son?Firestorm Fingers
2006 Mar 2Have you met my little friend, Bip?Half The Time Left To Us
2003 Jul 28Have you met my wee friend, Gilbert?Gilbert, With Giants in Hand
2006 Apr 5Have you seen the Nothing man,Dreary Days Compounded By Snowstorms
2001 May 17He is bald and bespectacledPSSB
1998 Sep 29He met her in a French cafe...Bliss on Cusp
2003 Sep 23He snaps his fingers with such authorityThat Superficial Sniper
2002 Sep 25He so rotten, she so vainWhenever Scant Plenitudes Provide
2003 Sep 3He spent his life in deep despair and gloomRoomy Life
2003 Dec 5He sponsored a GonkSaying Much, While Keeping Silent
2004 May 28He took her down a leafy laneAttraction Determined By Inquest
2003 Jul 18He urged me to go get a permHair
2004 Jan 14He used to be, so rumor has, the Dean of Men at AlcatrazLeadership Fails Turtles
2006 Mar 16He walked his widow homeGodliness In Three-four Time
***2000 Mar 31He was born at a quarter to threeUncle Helium Meets His Maker
2004 May 17He was singing in DutchUpstream Candidate
2003 Aug 4He was the man of her dreams - tall, dark and EstonianDreamy
2005 Aug 8Heading off to sunny climesFarewell, My Lively Oystercatcher Nymphs
2002 Oct 15Hearlding a century of filth and gore,Nonsense Sharpens Your Refrain
2003 Aug 19Heaven-sent sixpence, platypus pieTarragon Piglets
2003 Jul 19Heebie jeebies, toil and troubleUntitled
2001 Aug 13Helena was born in a pubBiography
1999 Mar 1Hellespont and Hecuba were walking down the streetColditz Rhythm
2003 Aug 19Hello, Beefy, howya doin'?What's The Point Of Intermittency?
2006 Aug 3Hengist had the brightest swordEight Parrots, Seven Rogues
1999 Mar 12Henrietta ate a cakeTherapists Kill
2001 Nov 16Her bashfulness, though not innatePancreatic Recreations
2002 Mar 4Her basin full of porridge, her stockings eek of holes,Arquebus (Chaucerian View)
2003 Oct 26Her body glistened, hairless quite,Hairless of Sins
2003 Nov 18Her clavicle was something to beholdThe Virginal Chorus Sings Alleluia
2001 Oct 8Her eye is not my voiceFrom Chocolate Time-Zones
2004 Sep 15Her eyes are like a cup of teaUnnecessary Puns As She Grasped Another Cupcake
2004 Jan 7Her face was blanched, her eyes aglow; the sky was gauzy, rentThe Unkempt
1997 Jul 7Her hair falls short of a pageboy's cropOn Knowing Little Tess
2005 Sep 14Her incursions, from the North,Tossed From Hand To Elbow
2004 Aug 27Her innocence unquestioned, her purity renownedQueen Of The Feathers
2003 Jul 18Her nipples were quite octagonalBodies
2000 Mar 17Her sharp mouth, again,Mask of the Herald
2003 Dec 18Her tortured lip was dripping bloodLyrics To Kill The Bliss Of Heart-throbs
2003 Jun 22Her upper arms; mine eyes alightingNile Feather Death Trip
2005 Jul 1Her velvet trousers, on the bedLiturgically Challenged Papists Vainly Seeking Pomp
2005 Nov 10Here comes Cross-Eyed SamWho Named The Cornucopian
1997 Jun 17Here comes the knight, mail clad, through the borderHiding Like A Hun (Portia's Lament)
2001 Oct 4Here I am and here I'm staying!Truculent Virtue
2004 Jan 30Here in Freud's kettleTraditionally Devoted To Artificial Punctuations
2004 Feb 29Here in Munich's age-old centreThe Birdbath Embargo
2003 Aug 18Here stands a giantWhen
2004 Mar 5Here's an ode to hogwash - to tripe and pure baloneyBalderdash Brevity
2002 Nov 12Here, in Glasgow,Against Wheat-craft
2003 Jul 17Here, there and everywhereEnough Is
2003 Oct 21Hey Randy? Are you still up?Alright?
***1999 Jan 21Hiatus and Hibiscus are the names of my two sheepOnly Transient Sheep
2001 Aug 7Hidboult was a wandererMutable, Suitable, Inscrutable
2004 Aug 27Hide me, my darling, in your tresses!Florizel Inclined
2002 Nov 29Hideous smellsHugo's Goats
2003 Jul 30Hierarchs with open mouthsBrian's Life of Impostion
2003 Aug 6Higgle-dee piggle-dee pudding and pieA Round
2005 Apr 28hiiiiiiiiiBefore She Uttered
2003 Jun 24His boots were made of manta ray,Perwinkle Trout Wrack
2003 Jun 21His brain slightly mangled from mid-term examsTest Our Mutual Felicity with Unguents
2005 Nov 16His cranium, by some accountsThe Lost Macduff Reforms In Ely
1997 Aug 15His elbow never falteredGloucestershire My Undiscovered Child
***1998 Nov 21His feet are larger than the seaStale Toffees Know Nothing
2001 Aug 10His passion was a restless sortMarinade Your Partner Daily
2006 Jun 15his pendulum might make you sneezeShow Me How Verdi Murdered Houdini
2005 Aug 10His secretary's teeth were sownFields Of Everywhere
1997 Mar 15His terror of fruit was a virtueThe Mushroom Antipope
2004 Jun 18Hollie was a hostageForswear Courage
2003 Dec 15Homesick while at home--candles melt like promisesLoneliness Corrupted By Fishes
2003 Dec 8Hooper wouldn't say his nameExtraterrestial Wingnuts
2003 Aug 21Hotchie-totchie, LiberaceWhackers Are Slackers
2000 Dec 22How about this new departure:Sundial Shines
2003 Jul 19How are you doing, Mr. Slurb?She-devils Unruly
2004 Sep 4How blistering your prose, how Jovian your styleBlossom On Most Wintry Afternoons
2003 Jul 18How blithely do the crackerjacksBemused
2003 Sep 2How blithely do the flivvers flyOne Cat for Every Lear
2003 Jul 19How blithely do we misuse this site and yet it does deserve itLifecycle: Forlorn Flapping
2004 Dec 22How calmly did th olive branchAlbatross, Lie Still
2003 Aug 15How dear of you to send me cashCash Me
2003 Aug 8How do you feel about Life?Management Evoked
2004 Feb 3How far can we fallFurther Epsom Salts
2003 Nov 27How feminine, this colour scheme!Girlish Lavender Hues
2004 Aug 14How fetching you look, Miss SippleNaughty Thoughts Are Always Parochial
2003 Jul 17How frothy do these suds appearLike the Inner Feathers of Earth
2003 Jul 17How graven seem those fractured tartsFractured Hearts Have Missed Innumerable Chances
1999 Sep 28How hairy is my nose, do you suppose?Banana Wapentakes
2003 Oct 24How he dawdles! Watch the stepsPoor Child Roland
2003 Oct 27How hideous is the SpaniardLawrence's Spaniard Fool
2002 Nov 4How hideous the passion!Longings for Celibacy
2003 Feb 5How horrid is the elephantHerring Orphans of All Totnes
2004 Nov 23How lithely do these lilliputians leapGenerally Too Much Opulence
2003 Aug 25How little do we know ourselvesPure Floundering
2001 Apr 20How long will you be up there?Conception By Maidens (Anchovie's Verses)
2003 Oct 1How many times have you started a lineA Challenge To The Juvenile
2004 May 29How many times must I tell you?Cautionary Tales For Young Hotshots
2003 Jun 24How noble is the noblemanThe Pastry Cups
2003 Jul 18How oft in wet dreams do I walkDreams
2003 Jul 17How often have I pruned a treeEuthansia without Gregariousness
1997 May 29How ponderous, how ponderousDevout Epic On A Tiresome Champion
2003 Dec 5How sad that ode was ended--and why I want to know?Boohoo Hoodoo
2003 Jul 17How seldom do I see a frumpHow Often Tattooed?
2003 Nov 20How silly, you're suddenly snootyHarrumph Parumph Gallumph
2003 Jul 18How softly do the dryads humpUntitled
2003 Jul 18How speckled my rotisserieUntitled
2004 Mar 19How to explain this shocking situationAfter Lessons
2003 Sep 24How to swell our number, how increase our ranks?Recruitment Drive By The Bogus Snobbery Guardians
1998 Feb 10How undone as would be seen to showType-cast Treachery
2006 Feb 16How we wonder, how we wonderEating The Accountants Until Babbage Leaves
2003 Sep 17However shall the cold night envade,Cold Boff in Freedom
2002 Nov 28I add some lard to every bath-time mixHertfordshire Joke
2001 May 17I always caught the quarter-past; it never ran on timeInnocuously Or Venomously
2003 Jul 22I always knew that I'd be backComeuppance to Astroturf
2003 Oct 15I am filled with remorse, and the reasons are three:Unsightly Cheesology
2003 Jul 17I am seriously whackedOdin Understands
2003 Sep 22I am sowing hopeSigns Of Sorrows
2005 Dec 1I am the Centaur and the swordWhen Everything Presupposes
2002 Nov 15I ate my salad in a huff:Halibut Without
2004 Jun 22I berate you for infectingHaddock Framing
1997 Feb 23I blench to acknowledge my failureFalse Memories of a Papal Failure
2003 Sep 2I bought a cute puppet named PimOur Snotty Pim
2003 Aug 24I bought a jar of marmalade, paid quite a little sumTopological Jam
2003 Oct 27I bought a little bandersnatchAlways Vainglorious Hootenannies
2004 Sep 16I bought a thing on ebaySatanists With No Desire For Pontifical Stripes
2003 Nov 20I came upon a startling sightI Am Transformed
2003 Sep 16I can barely remember the timeThrough the Days of Smouldering
2002 Mar 13I can't abide a burnt-up pieMenu, Unaware of Lurking
2003 Dec 17I can't believe I left the grass in my pocketNesting Penguins Throughout Asia Minor
2003 Sep 5I can't help but note that your navel is invertedTruly, I Have Subverted You
2003 Aug 3I cannot help but feel that if only I hadYou Cannot Steal Diamons
2004 Mar 31I carry Hank, my freeze-dried hake,Onwards, Henrietta Dawson
2003 Aug 21I challenge you now with my swordTo the death! (well I'm really quite bored)Scurvy and Varlets
2004 Aug 16I chanced upon a postcardThose Whose Every Movement Counts
2004 Aug 16I chanced upon a shouting matchKnighthood For Those In Direst Destitution
2001 Sep 6I cycled to the station with fury on my mindA Railway Canal
2003 Aug 15I dare the wind to blow contrary to my whimCocksure Wills
2004 Jan 3I did it for the sake of herNipple Tussock
2004 Jan 14I did not think a coddled eggFrequency Of Dinner Jackets
2004 Jan 12I don't drinke vodka, only ginne -Imbibe This Page
1997 Jun 28I dreamed a quaint equationCry the Narcotic Laundry
2004 May 28I dropped it down the wishing wellHanging Trout Fancying Grandmothers
2003 Jul 17I fear I cannot hope to matchDreaming
2003 Jul 20I fear my favorite pollywog has indigestionUnhealthy Backlash Cliches
2003 Sep 26I fear that one day they will carry me offGhazal to Asylum
2003 Nov 25I feel I must indulge in certain vicesBloodthirsty Tales And Unseen Lemons
2003 Nov 7I find myself washed once more, upon a friendly shoreTrepidation Is Sometimes All
2006 Mar 25I found your umbrellaWallpaper For Beavers
2003 Sep 17I frequently sit on the dunnyTime or Porcelain
2001 Jun 19I glanced upon your book last night -Tennyson's Elbow Transplant
2002 May 20I gorge a slow caramel,The Apostle Paul Ate Our Show Dogs
2003 Aug 3I got the "I Ain't Got Nuthin' to be Blue About" bluesOunces of Hidden Obviousness
2003 May 30I guffaw but twice per night,Hilariously Pregnant
2006 Mar 9I had a date with a girl named FredThe Protective Turnip, Terrified Of Nightmares, Is Already Failing Under My Tutelage
2004 Aug 20I had a fish named RustyThe Operatic Life
2003 Jan 9I had a little tractorI'll Surely Trample Your Tractor, My Love
2000 May 15I had a small EtruscanWake! Capitulate!
2003 Nov 15I had an eerie dream last weekRuined Dreamscapes
2003 Oct 17I had my shoes shined in Chicago onceSongs of Prestigious Bill Giblets, the Whistling Tailor
2003 Nov 3I hate raking leavesThe Unwanted Haiku
2005 Apr 21I have a little creatureDespatched Again
2003 Sep 22I have dined with the Gods, and yetPlunder of the Phigosia
1996 Jun 1I have it in mind to purchase a pieThis Gastronomical Headboard
2003 Aug 26I have it in mind to purchase a pieThe Popemobile In Escrow
2003 Sep 18I have measured out my life with tablespoonsThe Trouser Leg of Hell
2003 Sep 21I have not the courage to conquer lifeCeaseless Efforts Conquer
2003 Sep 19I have seen this place beforeThe Walks of Soul Sisters
2004 Jan 7I hear that sluts from MilwaukeeA Wishlist For Clambakes
2003 Nov 24I hear that you like pepperoniThe Food Of Minotaurs
1999 Dec 29I hear the tread of thirty thousand menI, Everest
2003 Aug 28I hear you are sailing to LesbosIn My Dreams of Paint
2004 Jan 18I hear you like to polka with clubfooted galsOompah Tuba
2003 Jun 24I heard him curse, I heard him groanReveal the Masonic Prudes
2003 Jun 23I heard him curse, I heard him groanThe Mistake
2003 Aug 15I heard this rumor in class today..correct me if I'm wrong:Apocalyptic Rumor
2006 May 30I hefted bricks of twenty poundsPork-pie Hatred In Stoke
2001 Jan 12I just can't help thinking of youThe Enslaved
2003 Dec 10I knew a sinister ministerIf Wishes Were Geese, Nobody Would Honk
2003 Nov 26I know the Spoonbill secretBreaking The Law Of Thermodynamics
2003 Dec 12I know what it's like to be a poet.Poets Into Beasts
2001 Sep 5I lie to you always, as sugar to spiceMy Mendacious Honey
2003 Oct 18I likeAsphalt Trumps My Ace
2003 Aug 15I like bananas, because they have no bonesMelons In December
2000 Jun 7I like carrots in the spring-timeThe Tomato Points West
2006 Mar 10I like the cut of your jib and the fact that you always vote libTo Haunt Each Dervish Daily
2000 Jun 6I like to eat cheese in the High PyreneesJeeves Arranged My Spangled Smoking Jackets Elegantly
2003 Oct 29I like to spoon-bloody-bill,Tmesis Hell
2003 Aug 28I like to spoonbillI Am Not The Obsessive Weirdo You Are
2003 Oct 1I looked at my feet and to my surpriseLook, No Anatomy!
2002 May 31I love the sound of ice cubes whenJust Icing the Mind
2003 Oct 27I love you becauseDelusions are my Family
2001 Nov 20I loved her hazel eyes so muchLechery's Appraisal
2000 Feb 12I made a little omelette with a single serpent's eggBig Man Devours Helicopter's Emptiness
2003 Sep 22I made my peace with destiny and fateNirvana of Cleopatra
2003 Oct 23I make them go fastMary Marmalade And Very Tasty Puppies
2003 Aug 8I may be gone a little whileWhatever I May Need in Make Believe
2003 Sep 25I may have to boil a turnipHow To Cook Vegetables
2003 Sep 21I may have to saddle a horseThough Tamborines are Comforting
2007 Jan 15I meant it as an insultA Futile Attempt on Parnassus
2006 May 24I met a man whose nose extendedMute Soup And Memory Faded
2005 Mar 18I might not swallow more than onceI Would Rather Not Serve Rice
1997 Feb 16I name this dead wasp 'Halitosis'Modish Qualms
1997 Jan 26I never met a sailor who could singWhipped Blood Pudding Regrets
2006 Aug 1I never met my sister till I was twenty-threeEquator Blown Over
1999 Feb 11I never saw a clean sweepBlemishes
2004 Feb 10I never saw you in a dreamThe Better To Infiltrate Someone's Affections
2003 Nov 25I never sensed a larger voidEardrums In The Dark Theatre
2003 Aug 23I never thought of leaving home until I met SuzanneWith Suzanne in Swaziland
1998 Nov 25I never tire of askingPandora's Boxing-glove
2004 Jul 16I never will get overTennis Balls Striking Us Forcibly
2003 Jul 30I often think that nothing grows so red as a rose where some once Caesar bled.Vaccuum Devices Have Undiscovered Potential
2003 Jul 17I often wonder how to startIf Only People Smelled Like Flowers
2000 Jul 6I once asked Uncle HerbertHow Large Is Tina's Dinosaur?
2003 Sep 5I once had an uncle named BobThe Bob Job Murders
2003 Sep 23I once had to wrestle a bearMaking the Tide Wet
2003 Oct 18I once knew a good sick duckerNaughtiness As Can
2003 Sep 4I once knew a Heywood JablomeAvoid Big Pies
2003 Sep 25I once knew a lady, FrancineTribute of the Rather Wet
2003 Sep 5I once knew a shipless MagellanCruella Knew Every Hamster
2003 Jul 17I once saw a doctor in DaytonPersnickety Girls
2003 Aug 29I once took a spaceship to MarsInter-Planetary Tomfoolery
2003 Oct 2I once was told that A is πrI'll never ηπ again
2005 Feb 28I paid for all this road myselfDog-biscuit Dunking
2002 Jun 30I ponder what I dare not do,Compromises
2003 Oct 1I promise not to mention liceRailing Against Sooty
2003 May 31I promise, tomorrow I'll be a good boyInaudible When Down-wind
2003 May 10I put lobsters in her sock drawerPugna Porcorum
2002 Dec 27I put my trousers in the pressWhere are Nelson's Aubergines?
2003 Mar 18I quaffed nine cups of joe this mornA Relativity Prayer Shawl Thrown Aside
2004 Jan 26I read the rules with some concernWon't You, Suzanne?
2003 Aug 31I really must take a showerUndressing Swine
2003 Jul 24I really need to get some sleepSleep Will Not Be Heard
2000 Mar 29I remember Folkestone in DecemberDoglike Doings
1997 Mar 11I remember, I remember when verses used to scanSaint Nincompoop's Aplomb
2003 Oct 25I ride my bike around the houseWhen I Glorify the Bike
2003 Jan 9I ring alarms with my NanRegurgitate Afresh
2002 Jul 29I saw Yehudi MenuhinPiecemeal Premonitions
2003 Aug 27I see the walking dead, the fire in their eyesThe Innocent Murder of Fire
2004 Sep 16I see you bought a pair of saddle shoesStuff Your Turkey And Grab A Second Chance For Redemption
2003 Nov 16I see your hoof prints on the stairsThe Cauldron That Foils Such Weaklings As Us
2003 Nov 16I see your shadow on the wallYes, The Very Air Isn't Breatheable Over Our Side
2003 Oct 24I seldom spurl the gaffled zernTherefore I Can Be Repeatedly Woggled
2002 Jul 24I sent a message - to an elk?Unlikely Bovine Dreams
2002 Oct 1I sent a parcel trhough the post?Conference for Solo Banjo
2001 Oct 7I sent my luv a cllphn txtVindaloo (Abbreviated)
2006 Jun 23I shall not fail to summon youTights For A Prophylactic Railroad
2003 Jul 28I should've screwed old what's her nameLips You can Kiss
1997 Jan 3I sighed for the feel of formicaChutney, the Ragtime Crab
2000 Feb 16I sing of beauty and a boy's endeavourMy Hamster, Utterly Exhausted By Trepanning
1999 Nov 18I skipped among the parsley bedsBunuel, Masterly Engineer
2002 Dec 31i SPEAK in CAPITALS quasi-randomCaTacLySm
2006 Jan 5I sprawl, I sprawlWhen This Ends We Shall, Too
2004 Sep 16I stare into myself, hoping for redressLamentations Upon The Morrow
2003 Jul 19I submit that we are not aloneWoof
2003 Sep 11I suggested a title word and the word was thisSpotted Crunch
1999 Dec 7I talk to herring in the dark when no one is aroundMythical Piscator
2003 Nov 3I think I have a broken legHypochondria Isn't The Harlot's Proof
2005 Feb 24I think I might go out todayPlans For Vacillation
2003 Nov 21I think I saw an eagle fly across the InterstateOnly Known Criminals And Their Zebras
2003 Sep 1I think I'll tiptoe over thereNirvana in Daylight
2003 Nov 29I think it's time for a limerickWink!
2004 Sep 8I think she may be going madBite-sized Granules Of Compassionate Crunchiness
2003 Aug 13I think that I shall never find, a poem as lovely as your behindAround The You You Tree
1999 Dec 14I think that I shall never seeThinking Allowed
2000 May 3I think that I shall never seeMy Nightly Righteous Ferment
2004 Jan 20I think to make a piece of toastNothing Will Prevail After The Neutrino
1999 Oct 11I told him that he shouldn't hoard the family's only Oiuja boardBlessed, Blessed, this Momenteum of the Morning
2003 Aug 17I took a Greyhound bus to TimbuktuExhausted Bus of Sand
2003 Apr 9I took a penguin on the tramWhen Did Gingersnaps Vanish From Human Knowledge?
2006 May 12I took a sip. I didn't knowElixirs Of Godknows What
2003 Aug 6I took a trip to IowayVacation for Gingersnaps
2004 Jan 24I took my bitch to get her shaved on Park Lane yesterdayBeaten Fluffy
2003 Oct 31I traced the lineage of the SpoonAmanda and Her Moose Therapy
2003 Jun 16I trimmed that lean bazookaNecessary foreign horrors
2003 Sep 25I try to HaikuFilling the Proverbial Crannies
2001 Sep 4I unfolded my favourite handkerchief slowlyKylie, Dark Illusion
2003 Jan 25I walk a mile each day before my teaBeyond Bursting-Point
2003 Aug 4I wandered lonely as a clodPrey Letters
1999 May 26I wandered lonely as a nerdWarriors from Eternity
2004 Mar 3I wandered lonely as a nerdDiffused By Brilliant Clouds
2002 Mar 5I wandered lonely, as a clodWhen You Dangle Your Sister in Alabaster
2003 Oct 12I want to do to you, what the spring does to the treesThe High What
2003 Dec 9I was born a prisoner in your dungeon of fishIf I Illuminate Life Only Slightly, I Shall
1999 Feb 8I was excreted through a poreCrepuscular Creation
2003 Aug 25I was fishing one day on the pierThe Great Fuss
2004 Jan 14I was hired to breastfeed his pupsWetnurse Burdens
2005 Mar 31I watched a ritual of the Baluchistanis;Cultural Divides
2003 Aug 20I went down to the bus station to meet my babyBus Baby Boop
2003 Oct 28I went to bat for you so many times, and how have you repaid me?Flame White Trash!
2006 Aug 24I went to Zeke's to buy some paintOur Score Was Enough For Zeke
2003 Aug 29I wish I were a platypusWish
2001 Aug 9I wish I were in Ngunnawal againNostalgia for Breakfast - And Blue Sky
2003 Jul 18I wish it were true that piggies flewUntitled
2003 Jul 18I wish to call attentionPlease Don't Try
2000 Apr 12I woke to find the world undoneBacon Vortex
2002 Oct 22I woke up this morning as blue as your eyesTelephone in a Wishing Well
2003 Nov 7I wonder did you dance a Latin dance?Suck The Wonder
2003 Oct 30I wonder: is it worth the time?No Way to the Afterlife
2003 Sep 18I would hardly complain that loudly to be compared with FrostLegacy of Homey Charms
2007 Feb 26I'd heard of Silas MarnerThe Nephews of Leonard
2003 Nov 5I'd like to haikuWe Are More Free In Play
2003 Sep 29I'd like to raise a glass to my friends across the seaFellow Unravellers
2003 Aug 26I'd offer you a crumpet,Negligent Daleks Give Us A Passable Flamenco
2003 Dec 29I'd rest, if I could, but a holiday's onThe Shown Tear Of A Cloudbuster
2004 Dec 17I'll be home for Christmas (alas!)Farfetched
2003 Oct 31I'll make you an offer you can't refuseExchange: Offer Me Something
2005 Jan 15I'll never again, see my ex-pal LenBackstabbing So-called Chums
2006 May 31I'll tell you the tale of a boy from the EastThe Legend Of The Sphere
2004 Jan 28I'll tell you the tale of ham-handed HannahOf Sailors And Their Ways
2000 May 11I'm afraid he is addicted to collaborative verseAlone With Another Fool
2004 Aug 27I'm an escapee from sanityWe Penguins Have Closed Supper Clubs Forever
2003 Sep 30I'm building castles in the skyHave the Patience of the Broken
2006 May 15I'm glad to see your backYes, Cheese Is Edible
2004 Aug 6I'm not even thinkingSmudge On A Trumpet
2004 Oct 30I'm off – be back by Thursday nightPhilately Tentacles
2003 Jul 31I'm pregnant and I don't know whySow Succcess
2000 Sep 11I'm the child of a Red Road skyscraper.Slander Me!
2004 Jan 25I'm the only gay in the villageLittle Holly Sat Upon Her
2003 Mar 19I've always been taught to report what I thoughtFun in the Unnerving Moonlight (Rembrandt's Schooldays)
2003 Nov 27I've been lectured again by the stockmanArbitrary Megalomaniacs
1997 Aug 18I've eaten all the UralsWhoever timely looks
2003 Jul 17I've fallen and I can't get upFallen
2003 Aug 28I've far too much hair on my headOnions Can't Cry
2004 Jan 22I've got a brand new bathroomPorcine Tales By Granddaddy
1998 Jan 5I've heard it said that Hell is other peopleHalf-wits in Paradise
2003 Sep 24I've heard that folks that are from the U.K.Yellow Pasty Cavalcade
2003 Sep 25I've heard that the folks in the U S of AAmerica, Land Where Meiosis Reigns
2003 Apr 30I've long held a theory that Seuss ain't no docThe Doctrine of Giggling
2003 Nov 14I've never been the sort of manGumshoe In Divers Forests
2004 Jan 14I've never hit a man I didn't likeTabletop Heirs
2003 Jul 21I've never known a munchkin like you, Nadine.The Snoring Sombreros
2003 Aug 7I've never met a man I didn't like.Why do the Spanish Never Use Toasters?
2003 Sep 19I've oft wondered what Karin looks likeI Fear Bonnie Lies Under the Ocean Freeway
1997 Jun 7I've seen the skull beneath the sconeSaffron, Saffron
2003 Sep 2I've told you once, I've told you twice,Fandango Lashing
1998 Feb 8Ice carved by cold hearts,Armpit Discipline
***2000 Oct 3If a man shall lack a shoeWorld One Hundred
2004 Oct 8If all the buyers faced this wayIf Kipling Required Satisfaction
1997 Dec 9If all the world were turpentineThe Alchemist's Crusade
2006 Jan 29If beating fleas was my habitHandy Men Poised With Unguents
2006 May 15If brevity's the soul of wit,Cliches But No Answer
1997 Dec 14If Dusseldorf were DusseldorfPromising A Macrocosmic Disaster
2002 Nov 14If ever I should leave you, it might as well be nowSeasons Intemperate
2005 Nov 17If ever I would write a dirgeIgnoring The Peach And Nectarine
2003 Aug 14If ever there was a time when wishes and dreams could come trueIf Rapture Exists
2000 Sep 11If ever there were time for writing poetry, 'tis nowWhen Everest Falls Sick
2003 Sep 22If every boy and every girlQuiche Swim
2003 Nov 15If every dog and every catPets Are Not What They Seem
2003 Aug 28If everything that you had ever knownIf Oblivion Had Foes
2003 Nov 24If falling stars had parachutesMy Special Nosebag
2004 Apr 2If filling in forms engenders dismay, tick box 'A'Bureaucracy Marks The Pedestrians
2006 Jan 11If fish could screamEnduring Without Succor
2003 Oct 2If fish could screamOpinion Is Not A Occupation
2006 Feb 14If heebie has jeebies and hocus has pocusTithes Before Flamingos
2004 Jan 24If I could dance like Fred AustereThe Rite For Pipkin Breezes
2003 Jul 18If I ever had a platypusAnimals (Oz)
2003 Sep 19If I ever went to AthensThe Effervescent Digest
2003 Jul 26If I fell in love with youLove Awkwardly
2003 Sep 28If I had known that this would beHindsight Blindness
2005 Jul 25If I told you how I feelMine Shaft Mendicants, Their Oath
2003 Nov 10If I understand you right,This Lame War Mixes Our Cement
2005 Jul 22If it hadn't been for the eighteenth greenAnother Bodleian Peroration Fails
2003 Nov 16If it seems too difficultVisitors Not Derailed
2004 Jun 21If it's standing-room onlySeegarten Tour For Wits
2001 Feb 17If Joan of Arc wasn't a zombieMembrane One (Laughing Hoop)
2001 Jan 9If love cannot foretell the pastGoing off the Boil
2000 May 30If my ardour flickersCautiously Urging, Redundantly Purging
1998 Jun 1If night should fall before the deed is doneRaskolnikov's Fallen
2003 Jul 18If not for that one "mistake"Alas My...
2000 Jun 14If onlyBragging About Semi-colons
2003 Jun 27If only I could sing like William ShatnerKnight of the Noxious Lie
2003 Mar 18If only these kids knew what IHidden By Hygiene Fairies
2001 May 24If saints are souls with greater spiritStravinksy in Sidcup: Untimely Minuet
2004 Sep 17If silence is golden, why won't you be quiet?She-men And Domestic Appliances
1998 Dec 1If spring does not comeOutlet-valve in preparation
2003 Jul 26If starfish wore shoesStarfish Footwear
2001 Jan 20If the captain's metaphysicOffhand Emblem
***2000 Feb 14If the prophets who foretell my lifeSonnet
2005 Apr 20If the Sun was to die todayFuture Species Will Not Tolerate Hotels
2003 Feb 5If the thought of hope is not enoughSheepish Ambition
2004 Nov 8If waking life had time for dreamsHeliotrope Spores
2003 Sep 23If wishes were horsesWhy Listen?
***2002 Jul 24If you can hold a tune, when all aroundThe Mark of Uncertainty (Improbable Thumbprint)
2003 Aug 1If you had but one final chanceNightmares in a Mind Overtaken by Madness After Sleepless Days and Nights
2003 Dec 17If you lift a dog with a crane, will he count to infinity?Papal Disgust
2005 Feb 1If you squeegee my windshield, I'll scour your potSixty-five Degrees
1999 Jan 3If you think that I'm the reject, then I'll thrash you till you're blueHell Fruit
2000 Apr 12If you were an ape, what kind would you be?Waves, Water Under
2000 Apr 10If you were an ape, what kind would you be?Are Like
1998 Aug 10If, halfway down the basement stairs,Beyond Anatomical Possibilities
2004 Sep 12Ignorance, in former timesOne Apostate Fieldmouse Alone In All Conjecture
2003 Oct 27Imagine a World without...Imagine This Weirdness
2002 Jul 29Imagine that! My little catOne Scourge Too Far From Home
2004 Sep 1Imagine there were jungles on the moonThe Things That Are Caramelized By Moonlight
2003 Jul 24Imagine there's no flugleImagination, Fortitude, Cholesterol
2003 Oct 15impeccable: Can not be peccedMost Even-Handed Definition
2004 Feb 16In a cave, on a mountain so highOnce Lithuania, Once
1999 Nov 30In a distant land called Pernia there ruled a mighty PeachUnder the auspices of the Mesopotamian tube-station in Epping
2001 Oct 31In a dream, I bit off my boss's legBartók's Drawing-Room
2003 Aug 7In a garden of unrestful silenceSeek the Shade, the Silence
2004 Sep 2In a poisoned gondolaThere Once Lived Some Rather Odd Babies
2003 Jul 19In adamantine underpants the slavish sleeper slept,Nocturne Oy
1997 Oct 31In all my vast concernsPossible Idolaters in a Black Throat
2001 Jun 6In an old ball of stringDali's Uncle's Duckpond of Filth
2000 Nov 12In autumn-time, a small spittoonBeyond Any Logic
2003 Jun 26In China, once, an EmperorEpic Gorgonzola Quest
2004 Aug 25In conclusion, blessed child,Sugary Benisons During Walpurgisnacht
2004 Apr 24In conclusion, Speckled JimBrigade Of Billabongs
2002 Apr 29In days before the DicemanHer Prophylactic Wednesdays (Compensatory Voucher)
2003 Dec 16In days of yore, when dragons roamed the worldMythical Quest
2003 Jan 23In dread of the foeFerocious Nightgowns
2006 Jan 2In dreams of dimes and happenstanceWinged Things That Reek Of Myrrh
2004 Aug 10In every other windowUndercover Pastries Lost In Space
2005 Sep 4In flowerdome fiveMonetarists
2001 Jun 19In France, there is a little townAre You the Last Paradigm?
***1997 Feb 13In front of a crowd of reliable hensThe Question
2002 Nov 29In Hastings, once, there should an elm,Heroic and Auspicious
1997 Apr 26In his book, 'The Uranium Fanfare',It Isn't Often Oatmeal
2005 Jun 13In his Jeans®, stood Jasper JohnsSaul Bellow Cloudringed By Nymphs
2007 Jan 27In his ochre jodhpursArtisans, Ninepence Or Less
2006 Jun 18In his ochre jodhpursHis Lucky Skull Has Perished
2000 May 11In IstanbulSurely it behoves us to grant...
2001 Dec 13In its own bottleShe boils
2005 Mar 7In latter days of green and blueFlaring Hairclips
2003 Sep 22In my borrowed jacketTrysting Without Thomasina
2003 Aug 31In my cardboard cardiganEmilia And Her Tremendous Brainpower
2003 Sep 9In my cardboard cardiganRevisionist Shenanigans
2006 Jan 12In my ending is my startTheir Original Desk-top Microphones
2002 Nov 28In my glass kimonoJudith, A Polynomial
1997 Apr 26In my outhouse, far from TunisApocope-0Reticule
2001 Dec 11In Narnia, the earthworms say,Unnecessary Tits
2000 Oct 25In olden days, a glimpse of HockneyRecriminations Against The Hideous Nymphet
2005 Nov 15In opting for a blacker greyTo Any Passing Critic
2005 Sep 18In opting for a greyer blackOne Will Between Friends
2000 May 23In Persia's lands, there is a wisp that terrifies the priests.Hengist's coming to get you, Horsa
2005 Apr 19In praise of whelks, I roam the moors:Enough To Warrant Onions
2003 Aug 3In San Francisco, on the tramsVisiting the Mortals
2006 Jan 10In search of the perfect asparagusNobody Shaves Oswald
2003 Jul 1In Seville, bitter oranges grow ripe in the sunCities
2003 Jul 24In shimmering skies the clouds were hummingRain is No Substitute
2005 Jul 4In spite of all your after-shaveEnough Bagels Disavowed
2000 May 16In SpringMatters Heretical
***2003 Nov 14In the beginning Bob created the woman and the beerRecycling Genesis
2000 Jun 6In the beginning was the Herd:That's That Over With
2001 Oct 5In the burrows of the NightmareThe Warped Toboggan (Auden Medal Awarded Posthumouly)
2003 Sep 24in the darkness of the nightNight Before Time Immoderate
2000 May 29In the darkness of the nightUnder the Adriatic
2000 Jul 31In the dead of night, lit by pale moonlightIt's Meadowlark Lemmon
2001 Apr 13In the deepest part of the poolHook Performance
2002 Dec 9In the depths of Epping townDocumentary Highlight
2003 Nov 18In the evening came the cyclesThe Ill-drained Threesome
2003 Nov 17In the evening came the cyclesPleasingly Cyclical
1997 Dec 19In the field, no break of dayTherapeutic Heresies
2003 Sep 29In the land where the brain-fart trees growAgriculture Good And Bad
2002 Jan 15In the mountains outside SwindonThe Oboe Omelettes
2003 Aug 11In the pages of a dusty bookFood
2001 Aug 9In the palace of my mind, a lonely spirit walks.The Oyster Interval
2004 Jul 8In the second shopping-trolleyPurse Maps
2002 Feb 12In the Sudan, there lived five menArmadeep Looked Out
2000 Feb 3In the tallest treeThe Sun Wolf
2003 Apr 18In the timeless forests of the northAccidents to Unwary Playmates
2007 Feb 18In the trysting parlourOf Not, Of Not
1999 Jan 20In the warm airWhen We Were Proteins
1998 Dec 16In the winter's brutal smileSpray-on Orkney Sweater
2005 Dec 23In these forests, aroundabout,Abundance Throughout Pompeii
1998 Nov 18In this ballet, cochinealMarrying Kine
2003 Sep 22In this city there are no angelsDystopia The Moose
2005 Sep 1In this haystack, L. P. HartleyMy Third Empire
2004 Jan 16In this one thing all others meetSector Vector Ejector
2000 Jun 1In this unspeakable foreboding year, our doomJesus With Underdone Omelette
2005 Sep 21In this wise, the King of ThebesCaramel Christmas
2004 Sep 17In time to come, rememb'rance of this hourEpic Oration Looms To Starboard
1998 May 2In times of stress I like to scratch my footKate's Gruttock Impaler
2003 Sep 22Inaccurate, like any mapMy Misadventures Began in Cleveland
2004 Apr 29Incantations - dead of night -Nuns Betray Our Laxative Supplies
2000 Dec 5Incas ... dreadful drinkers,If Sluices Matter
2005 Jul 27Incursions 4, Evasions 5Bismuth Bill Again
2003 Jul 18Indeed the overweening queenA Royal Disaster
2003 Sep 19Indescribably delicious doodadsFloating My Delicious
2003 Aug 21Ineluctably, you woo me. The cloudsWooing under the Clouds
2004 Oct 9Infestation's not a problem, but the cure!Hens Pretend To Bend Spoons
2000 Feb 19Inflamed by passion and a touch of fluThe Yellow Singing Turncoats
1999 Feb 2Inflamed with paranoiaEndless Power, Our Sole Accomplishment
2005 Aug 1Ingest this canapé of grime?Heathen Lent
2003 Oct 22Inside this barrel - don't you know? -Cooper's Atomic Dogmeal
2003 Dec 10Inspiration isn't need - not when you're a pote"Enough!" Said Old McDonald
2000 Mar 20Instruction none of us are freeAngels, Whenever You Cough
2001 Nov 15Interlinear is the bestEntropy Without Harlots
2007 Jan 22Into emporia crammed with grime,Unchained Malady
2001 Feb 28Into the cauldron of possibilityArresting the Compositor
2003 Sep 24Into the unblinking eyes of childrenA Civilised Child, Lost for Moments
***2001 Nov 21Invitation, contradiction, punctuation, wedded blissWho Will Seldom Live Unseen?
2003 Jul 18Irresistibly, I feel drawnDrawn
2003 Nov 12Is Haiku passe?When The Wings Are Spread Like Mustard
2001 Nov 5Is it a bug or a feature?Cutlery Tissues
2003 Nov 9Is it a source of insolent prideEtruscan! Tuscan! Bohemian! Persian! Theban?
1999 Aug 27Is it so? Have you not heard?Googlehimmel (Pathetic Science)
2004 Sep 7Is it such a sin to lustLeft Handed And Concealed In Murky Allusions
2006 May 30Is no-one here to waken me?Phoenix, Bored
2004 Aug 5Is solitaire a virtue?Patience Is Never Compared To Hopscotch
2004 Mar 23Is that your usual tone of voice?Refusenik Attitudes Long Considered Passé
2003 Aug 18Is the meaning of poetry lost in the ages?Rhyme
2003 Dec 8Is there anything I can sayFrom Here, Hence And Further
2000 Apr 11Is this allFleeing Another Bloody Tuesday
2003 Aug 5Is this what we've come to?Housemaids Singing on Sunday
2003 Oct 28ItMouldy Hiccough
2003 Mar 20It be not hard to speaketh like the BardBroken SmARTISTS
2004 Jul 7It came upon the midnight clearLighthouse Magic
2003 Nov 6It didn't have to end this wayIf They Reversed The Creosote
2003 Aug 14It is an ancient wrestlerPlease Pass the Wrestler
2006 Sep 1It is said that a codpiece, selected to coverElizabethan Lemonade
2003 Aug 12It is the blackest of blacksVoid White Truth
2003 Jul 24It is the faintest of soundsSeduction Are Us
2004 May 21It is time, I think we'd all agree,We Flee Toward The Far Journey
2004 Aug 18It isn't right, it isn't wrongEvidence From Pablum Mechanics
1998 Jun 21It may have been a Tuesday - the bus was late againProtracted, Dreamlike, Hermetic, Peculiar, Helpless
2003 Jul 31It might've been his husky voiceA Story About Her Master's Mustache
2004 Feb 8It moves an inch a minuteThe Oast-House Symposium
2003 Dec 12It seemed (toSomebody Is Rotting
2005 Jan 4It seemed as though I'd never been awayHoundstooth Canal
2004 Aug 17It started at quarter to oneRobbers Never Stopped Us Before Lunch
2003 Aug 19It started out as molecules, swimming in the primal soupToday We Are In The Mists
2004 May 27It started with a glottal stopAspirated Eyeball, Innit?
2005 Nov 23It takes a man with real strength to deploreFester's Last Words
2004 Sep 28It was a very shamblesCriterion For Studiousness In Death
2003 Aug 11It was much softer yesterdayToo Worse
2002 Feb 17It was on just a night such as thisNational Gnu Stun Atrophy
1997 Mar 10It was something to do with marmaladeYour Strict Horses Inhibit My Double Repetition
2000 Jan 29It wasn't my intention to rebuild the world at largeWeathered Wedding: The Empyrean Dust
2004 Jan 29It's a glossary, they claim,Frugal Jars Of Mine Filled With Other Piglets
2002 Oct 28It's a long haul to Christmas, a long time to toilThis Way, Lord Byron
2001 May 23It's a noble bird, is your gannetPalace Challenge to the Party
2000 May 15It's a terrible start to a poemEssay - Let's Not
2005 Oct 11It's a wonderful life, to be sureGabriel, So Rotund
2003 Aug 16It's always darkest just before it gets lighterScone Clichés
1999 May 17It's best to smileAnthem of Unfinished Toenails
2004 Mar 3It's fine to play the didgeridoo, but please not in the office looMusical Accomplishments Involving Instruments Of Zinc
2004 Feb 24It's not just the hole in the dykeWhence Cometh Our Whelp With Its Peculiar Outlook?
1997 Mar 10It's not my cup of teaPerpetual Nestled Teacups
2004 Dec 15It's not the custom, nowadaysSidcup Half-remembered
2001 Aug 31It's now been raining hereabouts for more than half a yearWhile Columbus Never Bothered
2003 Aug 20It's time for a limerick nowSigh and Suicide
2003 Nov 29It's time to shampoo my perukeSold For Leather
2003 Sep 9It's time we rearranged the borderLet The Litmus Decide
2003 Dec 1Items that do not give offenceMittens Disturb
1998 Apr 19Its stuns me, like it stuns us allFrom Underneath Diana's Toast
2003 Sep 11Ive just seen my feet for the first time in yearsOn The Toes
2002 Apr 18Jack of the desperate momentsThe Circumference Spoon
2003 Oct 30Jacques Chirac would eat no snackNo Fry-up For Presidents
2001 Oct 9Jarrow is my noble homeHideous Indeed
2003 Aug 11Jazz, pizzazz, and razzmatazzDo Bubba Nano
2004 Jan 21Jeeze, I can't find my kneesThe Dimmer-Switch Disease
2002 Apr 15Jemima was a nurse-maidMaybe Not the Frozen Finger-Print
***1998 Oct 22Jemima: take this catapultPropose The Impossible
2004 Aug 24Jesuitical was his wayRaskolnikov Spotless, Adrift Upon Oceans
2004 Nov 24Join the dance, you naiads all,All Things Can Be Overturned In Time
2003 Aug 17Jonathan and MaryThey Abruptly
2003 Sep 11Journal EntriesOne Less Day to Remember
1998 Aug 1Judge this breakfast lightlyWho Once was Orson's Vampire
2006 Apr 20Judicious combinationEach Circle Will Shake
2004 Jan 20Judicious pruning - of a bush -Despite Differences In Our Neckties
2005 Jul 19Juicy plums for me to bite!High Teeth
2006 Dec 15Just a hint of twilightHidden Works
2005 Jul 5Just a taste of sunshineThe Sanskrit Kirk Railings
2005 Feb 11Just a tingling kind of painDesperate Kippers
2003 Nov 17Just before the avalancheLandscapes Fail
2003 Nov 21Just before the doorbell rang, my lids had fallen shutHunting The Innocent
2005 Jan 23Just dethrone me, once per week,Lichens
2005 Feb 23Just imagine thirteen cakes aglitter in the night:Gorgon Cookies
2004 Feb 17Just say "Baroque" and choral hymnsComposers In The Ground
2004 Nov 29Just take a breath - we'll sort this outThings Are Annoying Everywhere
2003 Dec 27Kaboom and kerplunk, vavoom and achooSplat Went The Fig Custard Fruitcakes
2005 Jul 11Kaleidoscopes in bronze and zincHighways, Byways, Afterthoughts
2003 Sep 19Kansas Sam's brain overheatedStrange Bits Of Filth
2006 Jan 14Kansas Sam, Beefy, Will H, Karin, Grayman et al.They May Well Abandon Ship
2004 Aug 25KaolinReaper Without Envy
2003 Aug 20Keats and Sandburg, Dickinson, YeatsDown Hallways and Corridors
2003 Sep 30Keep all new songs as softly sweet as mineTranscribed by Strangers that Float
***1998 Mar 20Keep your vigil - face the factsWhiskers of Anonymity
1998 Mar 15Keeping pace on cobbled lanes,Caramel Cribbage-Board
2003 Nov 20Ken Dodd's dad's dog's deadTwister Tokens
1997 Feb 2Key of diamonds, tempestHanging (Tidal)
2003 Oct 6Kick down the door of the lipstick factoryHammering On The Eyeliner
2003 Sep 30Kielbasa is a sausage quite sublimeFood for the Twin
2003 Nov 2Kiss me quick and goKissable Landlords In Jeopardy
2002 Jul 26Know how the filbert leapsDark of Wanton
1998 Jul 21Kropotkin claimed that all he sawBehind Every Grimacing Badger...
2003 Sep 20Kruschev and meKindly Mind My Zoo
2004 Feb 4Labouring dismally under a skyRebel Angels, Mountain Dance
2003 Oct 15Lacerated insights pour into my headHaunted Colours
2004 Jun 2Lanky Hank was the tallest of SherpasOftentimes Manet Tried Somersaulting Over Renoir
2003 Jul 19Lapwings on my shoulders, nickels in my purseWhacky
2004 Nov 29Last night I had the strangest dreamVisions Of Shouting Greengrocers
2003 Dec 29Late Christmas Eve the lot was dark, and so I filched a treePay Cash For Everything Except Unguents
2004 Mar 23Later than the final hourPeptic Ulster
2003 Aug 29Latin died and Gaelic's not so wellStorm the Language Barricade!
1998 Oct 3Lay thee at my rump, thou contumelious sotShakespeare's apparent homily diverts the Thames ferry-men
1999 Jan 5Lazy day, bowl o' porridge before meCherubic Implant in My Succubus
2005 Feb 7Leastways, said the meter man, You'll always have some fishGood-luck To Endless Sorrow
2003 Oct 16Len reported Clara to the fashion commissarThey Who Remove Buttons From Unsuspecting Harlots
2004 Jul 2Leonardo da VinciThe Universe Eyed From The Back Row
2003 Jan 23Less than catarrhFauré, Mendacious In Cairo,
2003 Oct 26Lest we profit from the slidesProfit and the Usual Umbrage
2002 Oct 31Let her curl up and sleep on the railwayRaptures of Our Lady Bromide
2004 Apr 2Let me be the first to say, it's nice to have you backGathering Clouds While Visigoths Circle
2003 Aug 28Let me describe the love of my lifeFaintly Wild, Like Justice and Love
2003 Aug 28Let the sun shine in! Or let it rain.Contemplate the Stuff
2004 Jan 14Let us be pretentious, erudite, utilizing abstruse references, esotericaPrefaces Are Lovely
2006 Jun 24Let us go then, you and IOutwardly Nubile
2002 Nov 19Let us go then, you and I,Shake My Garnish
2004 Mar 12Let us now praise famous menFrauds? Yes
2007 Jan 11Let us now praise famous moundsSpurned To Glory
2003 Oct 21Let us now swim in Lake ErieLimerick About a Trout
2003 Sep 13Let us praise a country maestro: Johnny CashCash Elegy
2003 Aug 6Let us praise the humble ceiling fan.Ode to the Attic
2003 Oct 2Let us retire to FranceThe Flawed, But Somehow Delightful Vacation
2001 Nov 22Let's be quick! Their backs are turnedAfternoon Prayers, Being a Master-Class for Emissaries of Torpor
2003 Oct 7Let's build a mountainDancing JCB
2004 Jan 21Let's desist, this time, from writing trash,The Comma Which Causes
2004 May 21Let's keep this one simpleSemaphore Statements Issued In Urdu
1999 Dec 26Let's not add another wordThe Equilibrium Rankles
2004 May 27Let's not expect the moonKeeping Her Through Ignorance
2004 Feb 2Let's not forget the little onesA Plurality Because Of Our Nausea
2005 May 17Lethal injection, on the tide,Tears Before Tonsils
2003 Jan 17Licensed to kill, my dearRumour Pills
1997 Jun 28Life for a girl is a sensual mapMudwoman, repent!
2003 Aug 7Life is like a coconutA Three-Life Exercise
2003 Aug 5Life passes by at a thousand miles an hourStrange Stretched
2003 Aug 26Like a russian doll, or perhaps an onionThe Page is a Cube
2003 Aug 14Like a small child in a candy storePollyanna Has Mugged Me
2003 Oct 19Like a snake, your smile stretchesSmiles Bestow Blessings
1999 Dec 1Like fish, attracted to a flameOne Blonde Speaking After Silence
2003 Jun 16Like hoarfrost on the juniperTiny Problems
2003 Jan 8Like rising, having slept for years,Gloves of Careful Nutmeg
1998 Jun 7Like spoons they lie, a front to back,Marching with Redemption Balloons
2000 Apr 17Like this sample of elationThe Callously-Burnt Marathon
2003 Aug 25Lilliputians in my lapLilliputians - My Play on Their Set
2003 Aug 7Limerick FunfestLimerick Whore
2003 Aug 25List of ChoresBeep List
2003 Dec 1Listen, my children, and you shall hearCollisions
2004 Jul 9Little boys with little toysBelieve What You Will But Doubt Nothing Excepting Yourself
2003 Jul 23Little children, gather 'round and I will tell a taleWhales are Silent Warriors
2003 Jul 31Little girl, look in the window. What do you, what do you see?Look Askance
2005 Mar 10Little Jack Horner sat in a cornerWherever Tuesday Blues
2000 Dec 19Living in a dreamDeserts East of Harwich
2003 Sep 20Lollipops and bubblegum, jujubes and dotsBubblegum and Scrabble
2003 Oct 23Long and short: Venus emits gas at sunriseThat Later
2003 Sep 26Long, long ago, in CamelotCamelot - an Ongoing Investigation
2002 Jun 11Long, long ago, in old TashkentTestimonial for Pier Café Raiders
2000 Nov 24Longshot: five apostlesPossibly Wasting My Days
2003 Aug 18Looking down through the shadowsPantoum of Brevity
1999 Nov 9Lot Seventeen: two lightweight combsTo Bypass Cartesian Notation
1999 Jan 7Louder than a hill of cheeseBrain Pump Outlet
2004 Jan 4Love, shmov--I'm jaded nowBetokening Bitterness
2003 Jun 21Lucinda' big sister chowed down on plutoniumTheory of Everything on Tap
2005 Sep 20Lucy Skeaping, queen of myst'ry,Subway Tools Again
2003 Jul 17lying in a ditch of binjoGoogly
2003 Jun 24Madame Curie created quite a glowGlow Experimental
2006 May 11Made deaf by the sound of the seaWhite Hotels, Lakes Ablaze, And Blossoms All Falling
2003 Aug 4Madness and despair have haunted meNaked Halluciantions of Night
2004 Nov 3Magnetic fields, an iron horseIn My Long-lost Wellingtons
2003 Oct 22Majestic as a pikestaff was old Jim,The Halibut Swears To Attack
1999 Mar 28Make a portrait of King George upon the very sodWho Desecrates the Vector?
2004 Apr 29Make love to me as if you'd spentMarmots Roam Willy-nilly Across Naked And Glistening Tundras
2002 Oct 14Marge sees not her hem's afire,Laconic as Pestilence
2003 Nov 20Marie looked, but saw herself no more,Tuppence For The Battery
1998 Dec 7Marmaduke was searching for the never-ending fluteThese honeycombed faces
2004 Jan 9Mars is being explored--and wow, are we excited!Invaders From Rabbit-holes, Snout First
2006 Mar 6Massive friction, from her waist,Chance Coupling Without The Responsibility
2003 Aug 23Matilda tolled the churchyard bellBut For a Novice
2003 Jul 28Maxine's coming into town, but look at all thisGingersnaps (Why Dress Up?)
2003 Sep 24May we address you in verse?Some Poet Unknown
2003 Sep 9Maybe now, or maybe laterMore Sweepings
2003 Oct 1Me and my loneliness; we often talkAn Elliptical Doppelganger
2004 Jul 7Meander into Shropshire, in the old MG,Tin-openers Practising What?
2004 Jul 7MeathookProsperity Falters If Poverty Persists Beyond The Breadline
2004 Feb 22Meet me in the arboretumClandestine Openings Like That
1999 Jun 21Meet my typing-tutorFracturating Kippers: This Homophonic Harmonium
1999 Jun 28Mellow jazz oozes from the speakersMidsummer Fails Everyone
2005 Apr 12Men who pauseOver Blighty Dipping
2003 Aug 5Mendicant Sam was a broken manFolks Who Smoke Soap
2002 Nov 27Mercator's projection had one tiny flawFrom Prussia Without Stamps
1997 May 21Merry munchkins mangle macaroons on MondaysUnrealistic Coconuts
2002 May 27Might I dream once more? Of russet dawns and clouds?TV Chasm and Clitoral Yawning
2004 Oct 13Mildenhall; I choose to doubtLest We Forge Biscuits For Orphaned Presidents
2006 Jan 11Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the LordTrampling Your Toes On
2002 Oct 3Mine is not a ranicd bun, served steaming on a plate,Aldershot's Unhappy History of Gardening Compromises
2000 Nov 22Mine is the cat that is eating your troutExceptions That Shimmer
2000 Oct 24Mine is the eggcup, yours is the hake,Integumental Teletubbies (Seventeen Hours Ago)
2003 Dec 10Mine was only mortarBiscuitry In Clean Sheets
2003 Nov 7Misanthropic canteloupes are plotting in the darkWeird Garden
2003 Oct 1Miss Piggy was making a fussHe Knew I Was a Frog
2006 Apr 4Mississipi, come to me!Echoes Of Ashes
2004 Jan 3Mistaken for a crayfishOn A String Covered Ottoman
2003 Sep 2Monday's light brought dreams of birthNo Week Planner
2003 Sep 20Moneypenny's not a happy bunnyLicensed to Kill Everything
2005 Feb 9MonosyllablesPerfect Pitchers
2003 Aug 6Monsters in the gardenGarden Shoes of the Vaudeville Monsters
2003 Aug 20Moon bars, moonbeams, mooning honeymoonersMoooon
2003 Jul 28Moonbeams and fairy dust, stardust and ambosiaWhen Ambrosia of the Peppermint...
2003 Feb 7Moonlight softened the angry linesControl of Our Feet in Darkness
2003 Aug 22MORE GOOFY HAIKUSBut a Pizza Means the End of Thunderstorms
2003 Aug 31More haiku you say?Are You Better?
2003 Aug 6MORE LIMERICKS!Anyone Who Whinges Can Go Elsewhere
2006 Mar 9More of me, and less of youNot A Proper Postman
1999 Nov 23Mortar, crust of liesThe Herrings' Adieu (Striding Akimbo)
2002 Nov 27Most cats repent of all their sinsShriven
2003 Oct 22Mostly air, my lost paradeRegional Railway Sensibilities
2003 Aug 13Mother Theresa sported a wartMother One
2003 Sep 27Motivation now departed, though the day is not yet doneFriday Goof-Off
2003 Jul 19Moving softly through the symphonyMelodies by Journeymen
2005 Oct 14Moving twiceNo Carborundum
2004 Mar 12Mow the news is outBeyond Her Final Finery
2003 Nov 11Much to my dismay, I turned seventy todaySeptuagenarians
2003 Aug 19Multiple line submissionsTricky Fellow Am I
2003 Sep 27Mumbles not heard on any Pink Floyd album:Noodle Ingests Itself
2003 Jul 25mummeries cast brightly upon lavender sidewalksRubicund Mummeries
2003 Nov 24Must you hone your scimitar?Ultimate Detergent
2003 Aug 25My battery is drainingAll My Complaints
2003 Jun 22My blog is narcissistic, though its readers, voyeuristic,Pig Lint Hit
2003 Aug 29My boots they are not filigree'dSilly Clothes
2000 Jun 8My brides lined up in orderCourtly Like The Dancing Cobra
2003 Jul 18My buddy, Moe, is getting oldThe Ageless Golden Fleece
2006 Apr 26My bunny lies over the oceanAttempts At Ironic Posturing
2004 Nov 4My cat has six claws on her frontmost two pawsZoology Students On Holiday
2004 Jan 19My cat is too fatThe Everlasting Pets
2004 Jan 28My chronic youth would soon speed pastHamlet With Fish
2003 Jul 18My computer's on the blinkSilicon Dreams
2004 Mar 30My cummerbund was missingRites For Responsible Raisins
1999 Dec 31My daughter! My daughter! the old wizard criedMerlin's Legendary Lost Oaths
2000 Feb 13My dear Professor, listenDancing Peculiar
2004 Jul 19My dear, have you lost your panache?Beep Road
2002 Dec 12My dove, Suzette, she lays in waitBig Orchids In Dead Marriage
2003 Jul 19My eyelashes are blackNever Reaches Glory
2003 Aug 20My eyes have grown too tired for seeingThat Memory of No-One
2004 Oct 22My foot is stuck; I cannot moveMassacred By Melting Geology
2002 Nov 8My fourteenth friend cannot be seen from hereImpressions of the National Arthritic Gallery
2003 Jul 19My glitzy one, my little twerpFishies Swimming Silently
2003 May 3My goldfish likes to do the monkey barsFruitful Duck Soup
2003 Jul 17My gorgonzola often swellsGorgonzola Prevaricates
***1999 Jan 18My grandmother told me on one grand occasionWhen We Reconsider All Our Footsteps
2003 Nov 7My head is full of fish, I fearPiggy And The Penguin Bankers
2003 Jul 19My headcheese does stinkScrapple Lovin'
2003 Jan 27My hermitage, lodged safely on the cragSamantha's Sinister Hockey Tour
2002 Apr 29My ice-cream dribbled into the soft earth, as RachelApricot Britain
2003 Sep 29My imagination runs a little wild at timesMorbid Obsessions With Broccoli
1998 Mar 21My lamp-post charm, my seventh lifeZimmerman's Sour Grapes
2003 Aug 21My life is like a grapefruitFruit Is Like Life
2003 Aug 21My life is like a mouse-trapOvercome Heart
2000 May 9My life is like an open road (yes, people walk on me)I'm Pitifully Happy Wherever There Are Spoonbills
2003 Sep 20My little pal never leaves meThe Circling Saucers Of Sirius
2003 Nov 21My love is like a red, red noseBurns With Mayflowers Downstream
2002 Dec 2My love is like a red, red snapperBereft Between Widows
2002 Jun 28My love is like a rushing stream, of vigour full and free,Squirrel-bitten, the Similes Decay
2003 Jul 21My love is sailing to ToledoSeparation Athletic
2003 Nov 1My Love was born on HalloweenIrresistible Types
2003 Jul 28My love's inclined to wear a hatAnd Now Hard Skirts
2003 Jul 19My luv is like a red red roseUntitled
2002 Nov 15My metaphor is drawn from icePension Rites After Sex
2000 May 17My mind's eye, all in sepiaAwkwardnesses Committed Unknowingly By Archangels On Speed
2003 Sep 25My mother-in-law, my mother-in lawMother-in-law with Oregano
2006 Jun 24My neighbours, then, the nomadsTorment Jemima For Bothering
2002 Dec 5My new Gemini space-craft leaksKnowing About Astromancy
2003 Apr 1My notion of 'A Life of Woe'Woeful Enigma
2006 Mar 15My old conveyor beltWhere Is It Going To End?
2003 Sep 24My only brush with IndiaThe Gospel of Even Numbers
2003 Jul 17My own dear love does seldom fartMukluks Sometimes
1999 Apr 9My parachute has broken and I don't know how to fallNeoplastic Ha'penny
2004 Jan 11My penchant's mathematicalHis Own Lewd Vespers
2002 Nov 28My philosophy is very clearPhenomenology for Carrots
2003 Sep 5My political agenda:Yammering Agenda
2002 Jan 14My regard for you does not acknowledge borders!Fawning Without Distinction
2005 Oct 11My salad days were mainly spentGhent Is Abandoned Now, So Gloucester Weeps
2004 Jan 25My sister's just ripped a tractor in twoRural Consternation
2004 Jan 1My sister, Sue, has several suitorsHake Sprouts
2000 Feb 2My skeleton, in bony dreamsThe Superlunary Hairdryer
2003 May 10My Spiderman was killed by ZachIndustrial-Strength Wrigley's
2003 Jul 30My tea warms my handsTea Calms, Warmth Invades
2005 Jan 25My tension's most unmenstrual,Haddock Versus Anchovies: Discuss
1999 Feb 28My tribal waysHow Death Became Moonshine
2003 Sep 5My tutu's not starched and my toe shoes are scuffedThe Circus Elephant Blues
2004 Aug 30My Uncle says, "The weasel never sings."Channel The Avuncular
2004 Jan 22My usual muse has gone for goodOmicron Froat
2003 Aug 4My wardrobe is my pride and joyOf Paisley
2004 Jan 20My wife is nibbling at my neckImpasto Throughout Australasia
2003 Aug 25My, my! All my underpants are gone!I Shall Cope
2003 Oct 2Myself when young did eagerly frequentThe Backwards Time
2003 Mar 7Naked, dripping, loins all soap and tension, I rise from the bathDead, Undone, Unmeasured
2001 Nov 8Nascent longing, unrecognized, but pure:Wittgenstein's Spare Puma
2002 Aug 5Necessity's the mother of inventionEyelash Radio
2001 Mar 9Necromancy doesn't work, my uncle used to sayAmusing-Esoteric
2003 Sep 9Neglecting the home repairs I couldn't do last winterButter Belly Fanclub
1996 Nov 12Neither of the archetypes was very much in vogueBlow-torch Conquests
2007 Feb 14Nerina Pallot® sings divinelyWho Shall Own Nerina Pallot
1999 Apr 4Never deny that I warned youA Dire Tenderness
2003 Nov 8Never did I dream that she would call a spade a spadeIs Confused By
2003 Nov 6Never have I seen a more delightful face than yoursThe Makeup Trowel
1999 Jun 17Never in the history of this our Mother EarthRemember My Helicopter?
2005 Jul 25Never measured, never loved,His Trusty League
2002 Jun 11Never mind the problem throatAdventurous Wednesday
2003 Jul 23Never tip a robot waiterDon't Do Never
2000 Nov 3Never, in the field behind the gasworksBees Hover Like Bees
2003 Sep 24Newbie, newbisti, newbitThe Meagre Friend of Jugs
2003 Sep 30Nine yards matter, when in zoos or farms an unclear signWhat Is Best For Each
2003 Nov 24Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wallReeling From The Effects Of Beer
2004 May 10No I never joined inTrios Yet
2006 Jun 9No lack of contentious divisionsThe Thursday Matinee
2003 Jul 17No man is an iglooIceman
2002 Jan 9No man is an isthmusIs Santa Powerless?
2006 Aug 9No mistress is so passing fairKill None But The Brave Lover
2002 Mar 6No more peaches! No more cream! I'm off to sail the seas!Uppity Evidence
2004 Aug 20No more strumpets,Biblical Sheep-dip Nonsense
1997 Mar 2No, Man IS an islandTerritorial Seas Revisited
2006 May 10Nobody comes, nobody goesLove For A Piglet
2003 Oct 24Nobody loses all the timeWorm Turning Circle
2003 Sep 2Nosy spoonbillersUgly Secrets
2004 Aug 9Not a feather, nor a leaf,Fish Remedies For Mischief
2006 Feb 25Not another nuggetDecorated With Hasty Stitches
2003 Dec 11Not every poem can please each aestheteWahhh! Sob Sniff!
2003 Sep 24Not my muscle!The Sun-Drenched Arctic
2002 Nov 27Not spacious, like a blunderbusWenches, Rogues, Wrestlers
2006 Jul 1Now harken to a tale so vileLingerie Throughout
2003 Jul 31Now here is a story, it's really quite gory and really quite sad to relateFogey
2000 May 1Now I am old, and in men's eyes I seeWhen We Got Bob Plastered...
2006 Aug 3Now if six turned out to be nineCraig Levy, Moorhen
2003 Jun 17Now is the moment! Grasp the nettle!Trout Pox Toast Farming
2002 Jan 8Now is the time for Algood menDiaspora With Noodles
2000 Dec 14Now is the time for joyful feastsHappy Those Who Bother Not To Wash Emus
***1999 Nov 1Now listen, please. I've brought you hereOver-baked blossom
2000 Nov 10Now my charms are all o'erthrownDrawing-Rooms, The Only Terminus
2000 Nov 8Now the fat is in the fireSpanner Hatred
2004 Mar 4Now the news is out,It's Unoffically Denied Until Proven
1997 Oct 7Now the tyrant knows the truthYes, Longer
1999 Mar 10Now, children, gather round, and I will tell you of Old TomSeal Cobblers
2003 Aug 4Now, hearken, I'll tell you the taleBatman and Gawain (The Quest)
2001 Jan 24Now, here's a storyUnhappy Stampede
2003 Dec 19Number ninety-seven was a worker at the plantThe Mundane Factory Blues
2003 Sep 2Nymphs and satyrs, centaurs and dryadsPie Trappings
2004 Feb 20O sober reflectionHow Can It Be Moss If It Grows Faster?
2003 Sep 18O Universe, O sparkling void, teach me of thy waysGenesis is the Only Truth
1997 May 28Octopus, the raven-hairedThe Eagle Fallen
2004 Feb 5Of all the nights I've spent abroadConcealed In Plain Leather
2003 Jul 30Of brooding springs, and hooting rocksNot For Edification
1998 Dec 11Of coursePuberty with Cheeseburger
2004 Dec 9Of sacred cows and catered sowsProne To Tautologies
2007 Apr 13Off to other hemispheresThree Blonde Mice
2003 Sep 11Oft had I heard of Lucy GrayPackage Surprise, Not Surprise Package
2004 Jun 29Oh blessed fragment of the foamThe Fourth Alibi From The Left
2003 Aug 8Oh fratulous wrontings, enfrog meVogon Blood Music
2003 Aug 17Oh how I loathe thee let me count the waysNaughty Sonnet
2003 Aug 19Oh how I loathe thee, let me count the waysDisregard
2003 Aug 9Oh me oh myMistakes Always
2003 Oct 21Oh papa, look! A jolly bruinIn Vicious Family Circles
2006 Mar 29Oh raucous bleatingSeeing As We Amuse Your Garden
2000 Nov 15Oh ripely reeking Camembert!Glistening Obbligatos
2007 Jan 22Oh Wally! Won't you start your car,The Fifth Vatican Innuendo
2002 Dec 15Oh! My sombrero is the finest,Chocolate Elvis During Sessions
1998 Mar 11OH! FEY! Cried the winged eel fingerling,Nabobs and Frumps
1997 Jan 31Oh! How I hate his leaking bladder!Diagnostic Encomium
2006 Jun 20Oh! So now you're telling meOccasionally He Thinks
2004 Jan 30Oh, innocents, listen in timeBaroness Buttercup
2004 Apr 29Oh, it's all quite ghastlyGhastly Appendages
2003 Jul 17Oh, my God, it never endsLonging
2004 May 25Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early lightEllis Inland
2003 Nov 4Oh, the claws, they should not beMonster Showtime
2003 Jun 28Oh, to be Home now summer is here....Imperfection
2000 Nov 1Oh, what can ail thee, Knave of Hearts,Keats Knew His Mind
2002 Jul 18Oh, why solicit further scornThese are Vagaries
2003 Jul 21Oink on, you crazy pigmanGamesmanship (The Piglets)
2002 Jun 17Old Uncle Tom made a nuclear bombRepeatedly Focal
2003 Jul 28On a dusty road in an outback townHorseback Spirits of the Ghost Town
2004 Jul 13On a hilltop, left of Rheims,Glaswegians In Time-share Bodies
2003 Jun 27On a moonful night, strangely brightEach Recusrive Reader
2003 Jul 18On a night in september, 1982Nighttown
2003 Aug 8On board the good ship Mary JaneMizzen Manhood
2005 Dec 8On Boscombe Down, where Keats was bornImmaculate Threnodies by Augustan Bachelors
2004 Aug 26On coming home at lastThey Astray
2003 Aug 15On Friday the seventh of MayA Fine Line Between Endless Cats
2003 Nov 1On Halloween lock all your doorsSpooks Like Us
2003 Oct 1On Helicon, the Muses gather roundForlorn Ode To Verse
2003 Sep 26On Spoonbill we all write in verseThe Authors of Unsettled Remains
2002 Jul 29On Thames' Embankment, bright spring dayAbigail
1999 Jan 31On the far side of the beach: abyssHer Daymare
2003 Jul 17On the first day of Google, my search term was to beMerry Googling
2003 Aug 5On the morning of the seventh day of MayMay I Apply for this Job?
2003 Sep 2On the night I was headed for townI went out and waved a cab downWebfooted Drive Through Town
2003 Dec 6On the plains of Andalucia, I met a honking horseStop Playing Tiddlywinks When I'm Watching
2003 Aug 7On the Road to NowhereNowhere in Particular (Man Talking)
2002 Apr 11On this desolate beach, a lost trinketThe Maritime Suction
2003 Oct 14On vacation, I saw a most Marvel-ous caveMelted Rectories of Nyum-Nyum
2004 Jun 1On viewing Chloe's coccyxWordsworth's Intention
2003 Dec 13Once a brave SultanaSundry Things Spread Thinly
2002 Jun 17Once glutton, twice dryOwn Kempt Wonders
2003 Sep 16Once I flew to the moon, my wings dripped gold and blueThe Moon So Subtly Flying
2005 Jan 7Once quite temperamentalIs Nothing Valueless
1999 Aug 20Once upon a golden mornThe Etiquette of Hogwash Country
2002 May 9Once upon a greyhound dreary,Flood-plain Eembargoes
2004 Feb 5Once upon a noontime cheery, as I daydreamed hale and hearty,Two Hands Forwards, Two Peas Backwards
2003 Jul 17Once upon a time a whoreNightlong Battles
2003 Sep 30Once upon a time in a faraway landFlowing The Fable
2003 Aug 29Once upon a time, in a country farawayThe Gnomes Who Roll
2000 Nov 26Once, just once, could someone let me knowOnce Is Never Too Rarely
2005 Jan 18One before the turningThe Hegemony Which Everybody Scorns
2003 Sep 25One bright September morning, the sky a crystal blueThe Queen Of All Chagrin
2003 Nov 20One day my name will be up in lightsFifteen Broken Things
2005 Jun 3One day, I hope to play the concertina.When Talents Droop As Feathers
2004 Feb 4One day, while I was walkingDestiny For My King Of Hastings
2002 Nov 12One escalator, one canoe:Defeated by Professors of Usurpation
2005 Sep 11One for sorrow, two for fishIn Past Emporia
2004 Dec 9One for the money, two for joyPlease Let Us Pronounce Each Syllable Better
2000 Jan 21One has to keep one's end up, after all:Unfastening Tycho's Forbidden Bra
2003 Jul 18One hundred and seventy four point sixNumbers Irrational
2003 Dec 5One misty, moisty morning, when cloudy was the weatherBondage Followed Swiftly By Kickings
1997 Dec 17One Phoenix, hankering for loveThe Hopeless Love Clients
2000 May 15One sonnet is too short to tell the charmsDrinking Electricity (Sonnet)
2003 Jul 17One summer afternoon, the snow was all aroundWhether the Dweebs
***1998 Aug 7One: a sponge, of medium girthTheory Comes Later
2004 Feb 22Only a man.Harvested From Unsavoury Pulpits
2005 Apr 21Only a quarterVestments In Velvet Of Midnight
2004 Jul 2Only a roseOnly Fools Rush
2007 Mar 19Onto Oban, with a snail,They Taught Pointless Rules
2000 Jan 14OrificialA Whole Inuit Tooth
2007 Feb 15Orthodontists wrecked my lifeClumps and Wisps
2003 Nov 28Our curls may give a false impressionWho Would Right Their Wrongs?
2001 Dec 30Our lady of SligoAttempts To Separate Meniscus from Surface
2003 Oct 10Our old friend, haikuRight Nestled Securely Among Wrong
2003 Jul 18Our story was unfinished! We had not reached the endWienerpome
2006 Apr 21Out here in the wastelandA Cynical Attitude Toward Roadrunners
2006 Jun 16Out here in the wastelandSacks Of Moonshine
2004 Jan 7Out, fry of lechery?Gums And Tongues
1997 Apr 29Outrage at the orthodoxTapioca Mouthwash
2002 Sep 24Outside the gates of NorwichBecause Bane Barks
2001 Oct 1Outside the gates of SwindonOur Northern Weeds Notwithstanding
2003 Oct 30Ovegiously, he blarks the heenManure Can
1997 Aug 29Over the choppy leather lineNever Once Promising To Underestimate Buns
2003 Oct 7Over the listing, under the stampHorizons Known Only to the Certain
2000 Nov 23Painting the Register OfficeUndo My Start
1997 Apr 15Pale in her Siamese twin-setBathroom Psychodrama
2004 Jun 27Palimpsest of things divineThe Braunschmidt Transponder
2003 Dec 3Pallbearers of uneven heightSitutationist Funeral
2003 Nov 7Palm trees are not known to thrive amid the snowPastiche (Coconuts)
2004 May 17Palpably encoded in the Turing mouldPork Beam Custard
2003 Oct 17Paradigm of porters' skillAny Compound of Phosphorus
2004 May 25Pardon my haste - I really must dashToday's Not Likely
2003 Jul 25Parsifal was bleeding from the gramophoneEvery Phrase Yodelled by Wagner
2004 Sep 6Parsimony of the heavensYeats Upon A Toadstool
2001 Sep 22Particularly pleasing was the scent of new-cropped strawDaydream
1997 Nov 4Particularly pleasing was the scent of new-mown hayA Particularly Contemporary Procedure
2003 Dec 4Pasquale's famously roundish tartan muffledSometimes Almost Roundish
2004 Jul 30Passion, closeness and great sexImminent Destruction Of Everything In Port
2005 Jul 6Pastry-forks were just the thing -Lucy In Torment
1999 Aug 23Pay up! Pay up! It's not a game, you knowFull Confession for the Titans
2004 Jul 8Peel an onion? - for a jape?The Parliamentary Parsley Supplier
2001 Jan 1Pelting down the motorway, with my wheels of fire,No Cat's Trousers
2003 Oct 8Pencilled eyebrows, shaven legsHave Pickles, Everyone!
2002 Aug 2Penumbral visionCheese Isn't For Funny Ladies
2004 Mar 12People are bloody ignorant apes!Away Game Voyeurism
2004 Apr 14People from Purley like getting up earlyBrief Lives Last Sunday
2003 Jan 3Percival the scouse louseMy Liverpool Lament
2006 Jun 23Perfection in a postage-stampKill The Penny
2003 Nov 10Perfectly embedded in a blue-tooth netYet Never Opens
2000 Dec 5Perhaps a LithuanianThe Strangler Ripped Asunder, Asunder
2002 Oct 3Perhaps I should have told her, perhaps she should have seenOn Pandora's Bonnet
2002 Oct 11Perhaps I'm not so oddManifested
2002 Nov 6Perhaps I'm not so oddSurlaw Sha'n't Contribute Veterinary Vouchers
2000 Sep 27Perhaps it was just that the Fates took a handEarthly Salutes
1998 Feb 26Perhaps it was something I said,Gossamer Binary Cheesburger
2005 Jan 9Perhaps, your new line will go here.Up In Canada Antlered Creatures Are Everywhere
2003 Aug 29Perpetuating structures: theseYurt Optometrist
2003 Oct 23Persephone once said to meThe Frequency for Repaginated Ladies
2003 Nov 28Persephone will not emerge; I've heard it from the highest sourceHades Doesn't Matter
2003 Jul 17Persnickety wickets, aha!Of Rubrics
1999 Apr 20Petulant pilgrims don't like to eat ropeCanterbury Nemesis
2003 Jul 18Photons green and neutrons pinkQuantum World
2003 Sep 1Picasso, in his early years,Pablo The Optometrist's Friend
2003 Sep 30Piercing sunset with her handTimes Square Dance
2003 Aug 6PIGGY WINGSPiggy, Piggy, Here Comes Piggy
2000 Mar 15PigmentPigment Denial
2000 Nov 25Pigmies and penguins like to danceThey Vanish Soon Enough
1997 Nov 22Pile a hailstone on a hailstone"Tomorrowismybirthday" cried Katharine's Wedding
2003 Jan 9Pimrod was a snappy lad,Unknown Railway Station Blues
2004 Jun 16Pip, as a boy, the marshes trodStewed Sea-weed, Nothing More
2003 Nov 24Pizzas spin lazily in the inky depths of spaceWoodfired
2003 Jul 1Plague and Pestilence sat down by the fireArmageddon Horses D'Oeuvres Changes Course
2007 Jan 11Plates of goulash, on the deck,Neck Up Fatty
2005 Apr 26Plato's grin did shame the sunOur Socratic Brethren Will One Morning Save The Welsh Unaided
2003 Aug 20Play it again, Kansas SamLurking in The
2000 Jun 12Please help me grease my hamster said the QueenLemmings Explode When Roped To Dynamite
2004 Dec 1Please release meLurching Balloons
2004 Dec 21Please release me. Let me goThis Is My Third Thumb
2002 Dec 12Please sir, stand downwind from me.On My Guff
2003 Nov 22Please, my dear, take off your coatSolicitude Is For Featherweight Fools
2004 Jul 9Pleiades in yonder skySailor Marinated In November
2005 Aug 31Pleonasms get me downTo Study All Known Colonies
2004 Jul 9Pleonastic bunkers that the empire builtStaff Barbecue For Hygienic Elves
1999 Feb 15Plug me in a catheter if there are any leftForever Strontium
1999 Jun 5Poem composition is a task the world adoresCelibate Coinage in Whitechapel Lane
2001 Dec 30Poet slain with paper knifeStapling Matilda (Augustinian Ballade)
2004 Jan 24Poetic mis'ry in a name?Benedictine Evening Dresses
2001 Mar 11Poetry and Poesy declined to fight a duel,Fleeing, The Sticky Eremite Scratches
2003 Nov 18Poetry I never knew found love on your demiseHappiness, The Noose Of Love
2003 Nov 15Poetry: in voice, a first!Dictionary, You Mean
2003 Oct 2Poets fight with words and not with swordsPoets - We're Belligerent To A Fault
2004 Jul 29Pogonophores and DublinersDating Twilight Gals
2004 Apr 1Poor Jones got hanged - and yet I know 'twasAttention: Recurring Decimal
2003 Aug 6Poor Peter was three inches highMany Small Wonders for Royalty
2007 Mar 16Pork, to sample - on a spoonDaily Porkish
2002 Jan 23Portable womenFustian Comfits
2003 Sep 25Precipitous whiskersLightning Ignites My Secret Beard
2004 Sep 9Predictably enoughWhen The Final Scone Hovers Above Our Fish-pond
2003 Sep 3Predictions for the Coming YearCummerbunds Will Fall (2004)
2003 Jul 18Preposterous! She criedThe Lycanthropes Are Eternally Grateful For Your Cooperation In These Matters Of
2003 Nov 25Preserve us from another boutWords That Fail MOTs
1997 Sep 27Pretty, pretty hermitOrnamental William Golding Glimmmers in Void
2003 Sep 17Privet skirts the aerodromeWhere Eagles Dribble
2005 Mar 17Prodigiously attractivePoor Semblance Of Artistic Metaphors
2005 Mar 18Prodigiously attractiveEye-Flavored Scrutiny
2007 Feb 12Proem, poem, words of praise -Squid Divinity
2003 Dec 1Puerile and dull is the Limerick formPoetry Means Never Having To Wink
2005 Dec 7Puissant were her thighs that nightTroubles Because Of Bosoms
2002 Sep 14Punished for his extra earsLoaf Mumbles Loaf
2003 Nov 18Put it off until tomorrowThe Most Rewarding Kind Of Exercise
2006 Feb 24Put me through the paper shredderOur Road Is Hardly Justified
2004 May 18Put me through the paper shredderThe Very Ouch
2000 Dec 16Put yourself in your neighbour's shoesTempestuous Trousers of Thrace
2002 Nov 25Quality control for underwear,On Undies
2000 Mar 15Quandary, a quandary,Stolen: Orville, My Disgusting Donkey
1999 Jan 22QuartersThese Fiscal Cousins
2003 Oct 26Quasi blogNope to Blog
2004 Jan 9Quentin TarantinoOtherworldly Stuff By Bob
2003 Nov 19Quietly humming his favourite tune,Swimming Upstream For Several Rhymes
2003 Jun 24Raggedy-Ann has a heroin habitPlayland Smack
2007 Mar 21Rainbow bright across the lochMy Desire Seldom Lights My Desire
2003 Dec 1Ralibut of Halibut pretended to be mad,Electra Syndrome
2004 Sep 18Rare confection - of delight!The Morsel Of Reason
2004 Jan 9Rather than conferring shameAttempted Assassination During Evensong
2003 Sep 18Ray Harryhausen, in the days before attaining fame,Courage, John!
2002 Apr 4Reading avidly, yet slowly, I devoured the novel.Fugitive and Funcle
2000 Nov 27Rebuke, like gossip from the sunFantastic Tabletop Of Suction
2003 Aug 15Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon BeerHayseed, Huh?
2003 Nov 18Red rocks; blue skies; a snooze and air refreshedGlyphs And Cryptographic Chance
2003 Jul 31Red was the color of my true love's knuckles.A Prior Rainbow
2003 Jul 18Red, green, purple, brownColours
2003 Sep 16Refuge I must seek5-7-5 Harmony
2002 Feb 6Regicide is just killing the King,Unspeakable Extracts of Louise
2003 Sep 5Religions I am Considering JoiningThe Holiest Glue
2000 Apr 24Rembrandt, on his better days,Picture This, My Chatelaine
2001 May 9Remember me when I am dead,Tadpoles of Doom
2003 Aug 4Remember, if you feel the urge to speakAwait the Perilous
2003 Nov 11Remember, sir, when spooning with your billPoem Against The Removal Of Divided Teeth
2001 Dec 14Remembering his empty purseOther Presentiments of Scoutmasters from Bothnia
2001 Mar 25Remembrance is a form of rhubarbConquer the Bandits of Love!
1999 Jan 13Remind me to unwind the clockUnending Mitigation
2003 Jul 18Remove your babuskha, misterUntitled
2004 Mar 1Repetition twenty-fold is what I really craveMy Aunt's Astonished Parakeet
2002 Aug 24Replace mine injured planetAnother Hairless Igloo Objects
2006 Mar 30ReptilinearBread-van Impasse
2003 Jun 19Respectable he's surely notThe Ocelot Tirade
2000 Jan 22Respiration - who's to blame?Turbulence in the Belfry
2002 Jun 25Responsibility for life on earthLife Doesn't Fester
1999 Apr 9Resurrection!Easter Greetings
2004 Jun 16Reticence, the virtue of the foolNothing More Tangible For Hillmen
2005 Nov 29Retribution, hard as stolen milk,Lament: Austere Nightly Beatings
2005 Sep 7Returning to my spawning-groundsOur Leather-Bound Archipelago Swept Clean
2003 Oct 15Reverend Spooner, twice a day,Lobbyists In Spoonland
2001 Feb 22Revival of my former fameWood Knot Rictus
2003 Dec 1Rhyming isn't everything, and scansion's overratedEnglish Literature Code
2003 Jun 24Ricardo's toupee hasn't aged but a dayIambic Portrait of Montalban
1998 Feb 19Ride onwards, lads, a new-born dayOne Last Lobster Seeking Re-election
2004 Aug 8Ridicule for penguins only makes them slideEyeliner How Ever Loosely Bent
2003 Aug 17Right among the maddened crowsEffigy
2006 Feb 16Rimbaud, Verlaine and absintheAbsent White
2005 Jan 27Ripe bananas, ten a pound! Grapes to fit a feast!Futile
2000 Dec 4Rivals, fourteen inches high,Limpopo Cocktail
1999 Feb 20Rosemary...comfrey... cammomile tea,Naked Globe
2003 Aug 4Roses are deadDour Poetry for Fools in Love
2003 Sep 30Rosie was a robot made of steelThe First Cyborg Whore
2003 Dec 1Rowan is a wood that I can't eatHungry For Keys
2003 Nov 28Rubbing out the guide-bookAllegory Of Scandinavian Nuptuals
2005 Sep 8Russell Hoban, king of rhyme,Whistles
2005 Feb 18Russell Hoban, King of Thrace,Novelistic Leaflets
2004 Jan 1Said aged King LearPrejudices Coming To Your Local Works Canteen
2004 Jul 13Said Benk, the lusty bear,Zeppelin Without Page
2005 Apr 12Said I to Gus GrissomSend Major Wordsworth
2004 Jan 28Said the shaman to the showmanThesis For A Standard Text
2003 Aug 17Said the zebra to the lion, "Why in heaven are you cryin'?"Steel Safari of Red Rivers
2003 Jan 29Sailing down the seventh streamAutocratic Penitent
2003 Aug 5Sam lived in a jerrybuilt sheet-metal tipi.Tipi, Living
2004 Jun 3Saratoga springs eternalQuenching Their Papyrus Of Filth
2004 May 24Sausage, when the time is rightMeaty Beaty Big And Bonsai
2003 Nov 16SausalitoSorry, Sausalito
2002 Feb 5Savage is as savage doesDefy the Hoariest Blanket
2004 Feb 10Say hello to Chutney SpearsEven Duplication Factors
2004 Apr 26Scarcely welcome though she wasBayonets Programmed To Twirl
1998 Jan 21Scared of every footfallMaybe Mercury Speaks
2003 Aug 1Scarlett and Rhett decided to petA Style of Dancing I Remember
1998 Nov 23Scorn these still-born architectsCoat-Hanger Equity
2004 Aug 19Scuttling from clime to climeSave Our Dickensian Surrogates
2003 Jul 18See how all the daffodilsHalcyon
2003 Oct 28See how you like it, Mr. Black!Go, Authors of My Lunch!
2003 Dec 21See the tiny aerodromeIll-fated Flyover On Insect Wings
2003 Oct 13See, saw; go, gone;Gaugin, You Villain
2004 Sep 21Selected for his miseriesReunions That Plato Forgot
1998 Jan 13Seven cubed plus fourteen squaredOther Shark-Infested Pillows
2004 Oct 12Several times you've baked a cakeNamedroppers' Tango
2003 Nov 28Sex at one, Kate! Take no taxesPalindromes, Madam?
2000 Jul 18Shall I compare thee to a coach and four?Her Promiscuity Made Good
2003 Oct 30Shall I compare thee to an Autumn's day?Pointy Sticks With Hats
2003 Nov 15Shall I invite you to a game of darts?Pickpockets, Rejoice!
2004 Jan 22Shall I start a new poem or will it get trashed?Arthur Sucking Cough Drops
2003 Aug 19Shaman footfallRevelations Undergone
2003 Oct 21Sharp as a razor my misericordiaEnough Of Death
1998 May 2She came at dawn and slit my throatThe "Don't Bother Me" Paradox
2004 Aug 27She checked its lock a dozen timesCompulsive Fondling By Men Of Gentility
2000 Mar 15She cries, that's all she ever doesBecause Foam Canisters Iridesce
2002 Sep 29She declared herself democratic,Escstatic, Dogmatic
2003 Jul 18She doesn't like my underwearUnderwear
***1997 Feb 19She found the smoothest stone,Invisible Sandwiches - The Tiresome Beginnings
2003 Jun 23She frolicks gaily, like a goatSecret Habitude with Men
2003 Aug 4She is a lady in her heartShe Never Surrenders Without A...
2004 Sep 13She is in love with the beautiful formlessness of the sea (Sylvia Plath)It Cannot Be The Teapots
2002 Nov 28She placed the diamond on her toe,Urging My Example Slowly
2005 Feb 2She plugged it in, she switched it onAfter Reality, Interregnum
2003 Aug 9She prayed that she might never see the dayKangaroo Den
2000 Dec 18She wandered through the garden fenceThe Ballad of the Blocked Toilets
2003 Jul 17She was lovely as the nightLay for a Lonely Farmer
2000 May 24She was poor but she was honestShe Wasn't Waving But His Trousers Were
2004 Nov 16She whitewashed me into the cornerYour Stupid Obsession With Unworldly People-Carriers
2001 Aug 9She's all to me, and little moreMatrimony is Hegemony, not Patrimony
2004 Jan 17She's come undone--her valium useless as mythical godsMadwoman, Me?
2004 May 1She's known as Nell, down in CamberwellMore Coal Please. Vicar
2001 Jan 15Sheila was my first love, and she was just a hakeMaking Nuns
2005 Jan 16Sherbert, not OpopanaxBoredom City
2004 Feb 1Shocked by his failure to fly,Flight Recorder In Mink
2004 Aug 18Shoot off her skinThrough Hooded Dreams
2003 Nov 10Shorter than the shortest bookLittle Extremes Of Bedtime Cocoa
2003 Aug 5Should I invite you to my soiree?Invitation to Rather Unlikely Personnel
2003 Nov 17Should one great leader cross the seaLet's Ride Away And Begin Again Without Shame
2001 Apr 29Show me a mirror and I'llLost Meanings of Turkestan
1998 Feb 24Show me not your golden purse,Ancestral vestiges of tambourine
2004 Jan 8Shut tight as a clam, not to be pried by any mere womanDevoured By Trousers
2003 Jul 19Side by side sat F & N, with monitors opposed,Gadfly Pudding
2004 Jun 24Silent in the dinner-queueCutlery At Noon
1999 Mar 6Silent in the midnight silenceOpacity's 22 Miraculous Beings
2004 Mar 23Silently clutching his kite,Vladimir's Looted Me Carrot
2003 Jul 24Silly Sally from the valley liked to dilly dallyBoots of Silly Leather
2003 Jun 26Silver and brown were the eaves of the townA Reasonable Religion for Village Greens
2003 Jul 18Simon says, "Slow down, you're movin' too fast"Singing the Family Song
2003 Sep 2Simple sisters in the sunlightThe Night Match (Unseen Sisters)
2003 Aug 2Sir:Epistle upon the Ancient Streams
2003 Dec 11Sitting in an English garden, waiting for the sunTwilight Of A Flaming Pie
2000 Nov 7Skiing down a snow-filled tunnelOur Mutinous Ukulele
2002 May 14Sledgehammer? I thought to use a shovelGabriel's Hiccoughs
2000 Oct 19Sleep darkly in your mellow haze my love,My Song of Glass
2003 Sep 12Sleep eludes me nowThe Premise for My Jellybean Guidelines
2003 Sep 26Sleep is coming soonEars for Eyelids
1999 Oct 25Sleep, curly savage, on the forest floor.Map of the Primitive Song
1997 Feb 12Sleepless wretched pacing, red-rivered eyes - glazed, gazingAlmost After Forgotten
1999 May 23Slowly, slowly crept the maddened foxWhile I'm Devoid of Syntax
2003 Jul 30Slug bug!Insults for Schoolmarms
2003 Sep 1Slumberers! Rome is burning all about youQuestionable Pantheons
1997 Mar 22Small birdsOrderly Insects Are Forecast
2004 Jan 22Smell my squirty button-holePhoebe Married The Warmonger
2003 Oct 26Smells like you're frying bolognaThe Cronyism of Songbirds
2003 Jun 16Smooth eucalyptus, resinous auraBespoke Chutney for Biggles
2003 Jul 17Smudge me, I am yoursVogons In Love
2003 Aug 5Snow falls, cold winds blowThe Quirky Quiver (Haiku)
2005 Mar 31So ... how to subvert the Age of Consent?Four Times Four Is Tonic
2004 Apr 20So clumsy, so clumsyUpstream Into Camberwell
2004 Jul 6So easy to upset herThe Fragile Steel
2003 Jul 17So here begins a brand new taleContrary Mutant
2005 Feb 8So how ya doin', Mrs. Knapp?Drive-By Morality
2003 Aug 27So many Herberts with which to contendCupcakes For Jesus
2003 Nov 13So many little fluffy thingsLike Butterflies Don't
2003 May 16So many works, untitled and unsungThose Who Can't Defy
2005 Oct 30So much nicer nowYes, Seamstresses, Invisible Stockings For Marriage Vows
2004 May 7So plaintively you ask if thisLiquid Never Flinches
2004 May 25So sullen was he, in his melancholy wistfulness,Adjectives On Steroids
2005 Feb 15So tell us, how many times have youAmong Beanbags
2006 Jul 7So very far from welcome51 Flavours of Diffusion
2003 Aug 21So when are ya gonna make up yer mind?Washing Fish In My Underwear
2004 Jan 27So... slate wiped clean, whereto from here?Mops Our Fevered Explorer Cannot Display
1998 Sep 30Socks! My red socks,Shirley's Dancing Socks (or Ellen's)
2002 Nov 27Some alphabetty spaghettiLechery's Not a Primary Foodstuff
2002 Dec 11Some caged bird squawksShirley, My Wife for a Day
2003 Oct 13Some folks like a formulaLoincloths of Hickory
2003 Oct 22Something there is that doesn't love a fishScreaming for Revenge in the Afterlife
1999 Dec 23Something whispers in my earHail Noddy!
2003 Oct 21Sometimes I feel I'm going insaneUpside-Down Cat Blues
2003 Dec 12Sometimes I like to run around in just my underoosWhen I Splash
2001 Jan 24Somewhere in the evening, at a screen not far from youFuture Dereliction Of Duty
2003 Sep 4Sonia is my name, flirting is my gameSonia Wasn't Lost
2004 Oct 25Sophistry, for those who wait,Departures In Disarray
2003 Aug 17Southern Astrological SignsRedneck Designs
2003 Aug 12Space Invaders often haunt my dreamsArcade Dreams Of My Gamey Youth
2005 Jan 27Spanish onions, in the dark,Horses Most Definitely
2003 Aug 3Speaking of teeth and miceWhen Mice Lust
2004 Jul 27Speciously, you are so fine!Swedish Substitute For Previously Contaminated Dessert
1999 Dec 24Spent moons bestrew th'empyreanSubtle, Said the Maggots
2003 Jul 24Spinning, falling,Forever Spinning
1999 Nov 26Spoons are the one thing God forgotBottle Up
2000 Sep 3Spry raindrops against a beercan tinkleGratia nobis fructus agimus benedicte nisi veniam purpuriens
1996 Dec 8St Vitus, in his winter robeYellow Paris Hags
2006 Jun 21St. Swithin's Day? Is that in May?Steam Calendar
2001 Sep 30Staggering across the heathHugh's Underpants Defy Dogma
2005 Mar 29Stagnation, degradationNothing More Redundant Than Thought
2005 Feb 3Stale cheese croutons in my jarSystemic Gouda
2005 Oct 25Stalk the streets of SerenissimaHalf Baked Wholly
2003 Aug 29Staring blankly through the glassDressed To Curl
2005 Jan 16State of action: quite inertDeatiny Shaped By Simpletons
2002 Jun 27Statistically speaking, the cowAt the Leg-warming Market
2003 Jun 5Steeped in the grime of agesCreases Rectified by Art
2005 Jul 22Step this way, you man o' war,For The Draining-board That Survivors Clutch
2003 Oct 1Stepping through a wall of mirrorsBowling Nearby Stones
2003 Aug 14Sticks and stones may break my bonesDead Sticks
2003 Aug 4Stinkbombs here and stinkbombs thereStinky
2005 Mar 26Strange transmissions - from the sun -As Luck Would Habit
2004 Oct 17Strange transmissions, Norah says,Compensation By Degrees
2007 Mar 6String in pieces, string combined,Discovered in Ramsey
2005 Sep 4Strong dominion, over whelks,Ridicule Enough For Cherubim
2005 Jul 29Strontium nitrateOur Technocrats Under Duress
2007 Feb 17Stunned, stunnedGates Shut By Accident
1998 Jun 23Stupidity, my carapaceScouting for Mice
2002 Oct 28Such a cruel summer! On cool heathsOnly if the Circle Turns
2002 Nov 1Such a vile winter! Warm in nooksA Virgin's Twelve Testicles
2002 Apr 28Such anger; incoherent rageWhenever Sacrifice Demands
2001 Dec 10Such is cockaleekie,Stolen Kissograms in Ketchup
2004 Apr 20Such is the demon's lotSpoon Receipt
2005 Jul 20Sufferers of synarthrodiaeRemedial By Association
2004 Mar 30Suffolk Asian – who would chooseHen Pectoral Commemorated
2006 Jan 3Sunk by the Spanish AmandaOver By The Time She Smells The Brie
1998 Mar 13Surely Godot should be here by now,Arnold, Waiting
2007 Feb 28Surely she was never realWhen Leaves Turn
2004 Apr 11Surrendering to somethingSoprano And Under
2006 Mar 8Sveldt in someone's turbanShogun Marmalade
2000 May 16Sweet nymph, though thou art ever im my dreamsUnless They Get Mistresses
1999 Jan 5Swing down sweet cherubs and lie with meClouds In Angelic Underclothing
2003 Aug 25T'was but a night on the dellSobering Laptop
2006 Apr 18Take a pinch of mustard-seedImplications
2004 Jan 20Take five, my little feathered friendsAlexander's Shadow Ring-pull
2005 Aug 23Take parnsip from the heapWittgenstein Therapy
2004 Dec 17Taking umbrage, in the Nile,Facile Farewell
2003 Aug 26Tales of magic and mysteryHolographic Implant
2003 Sep 9Taupe plateaus, a turquoise skyThe bleached bones of oxenHe Knew Lake Geneva
2003 Aug 12Taxes, levies, tithes, and tariffsTaxes, Always
2000 Oct 11Teach history slowlyEquator Protest
2001 Oct 16Teal creepsDisused Mouse
2003 Aug 26Teapots singing in the rainThe Embroidered Gorgonzola
2000 May 8Teasing and tempting is naughty NanetteMy Articulate Cucumber Says
2003 Aug 15Teflon starships ply the inky depthsQuixotic Robot Quests
2003 Aug 31Telescoping microscopes and shoehorning hornpipesWellington Shining Through
2003 Jul 17Televised indignities, alasPC #22
2004 Mar 10Tell me Doc - I've got to knowAlternative Will
2003 Nov 26Tell me the secretWhat Concerned Us As Free Thinkers
2004 Mar 31Tell me, O Wanderer, whom do you seek?Tales Of Someone Taller Than Expected
2004 Jul 7Ten more miles and we'll be homeSediment Flying In From The Airfield
2003 Jul 19Ten pennies, three shillings and a paper clipUntitled
2003 Jul 22Ten thousand men have lost their livesHistory Repeats Itself Itself Frequently Despite Appearances To The Contrary
2004 Jan 20Ten to a bed, the children sleptBleak Housing
2003 Oct 16Terence wrote, when not in Thrace, a clutch of tearful playsOur Bombastic Parlour Pig
1999 Apr 23Tesseracts were falling as if falling were the rageWizened Thoughts for Yesterdays' Leak
2002 Jul 23That artichoke they gave meMouldy, They Said
2004 Jan 28That fellow, Othello, could not be called mellowMy Toe Is Now Swollen Again
1997 Mar 24That karaoke chaosObelisk: Confusion
2006 Jun 15That loathsome letter taints the pageFasting Myths
2003 Jul 19That moon is not an aspirinLunar Sunsets
1999 Sep 13The 'Big Adventure' all began on a day of trepidationExplorers from Futility
1999 May 7The 'Spoonbill Chill' hung over the landThe Unseen Chill
2002 Dec 10The alphabet should be curtailed:Ho, Whoreson Pimp!
2003 Jul 25The ancient hunter stood proudlyHunt Within
2003 Jun 21The archive of memory refused to stirTinkle Tempest Soldier
2002 May 13The art of interactive verseReflections Behind Closed Minds
2002 Feb 7The artichoke eyed the chili pepper with murderous contempt69 Servants
***1999 Dec 1The autumn leavesStacy's Fading Cardigan
2006 Mar 7The azimuth is pastYorick And Friends
***1999 Mar 20The Ballad of Archibald SidewaysThe Ballad of Archibald Sideways
2003 Aug 25The beating of a distant drumSounds Like the Vampire Abroad
2003 Aug 11The bells of contrarinessBells, Time Of
1998 Feb 4The best man is a tidy one,An Idyllic Situation Ruined By Reed-Buntings
2004 Feb 13The bilemonger's billMartyrs To The Biscuit Guardians
1998 May 4The bilious fishwife was covered in stew,Majestically Behavioral
2004 Feb 10The birth canal has many locksThose Poor Breakdancing Triplets
2004 Nov 29The bishop, in his water-wigPredicated Upon Juvenile Ignorance
2002 May 20The bittern is a curious bird, according to the sageWood-daemon, Guide Me South!
***2006 Mar 9The blackest of shields by the light of the moonNB: In Memoriam
2002 Jan 17The blancmange spoke, in rhyming couplets,Dewdrop Whack, Martini Later...
2004 Jul 2The blank screen gazes remorselessly backThe Denouement Of Vermicelli
1998 Jul 4The Books of Heaven opened, the pages to their destinations flying!Cheeseboard Dusk
2003 Jul 27The bubble bath! The bubble bath! I float in pink champagne.Wiggles in Spain
2001 Nov 13The cabbage roared to see the mouseLithuania Accepts Barclaycard Again!
2000 May 22The cake of opportunity must be eaten whilst it's freshThe Puissance In American Adverbs
2003 Aug 18The calculator is calculating its own lifespanCalculating Between
2002 May 8The Captain rode to Hampton CourtCriminals in Poltics
2002 Mar 5The caramel wafer was tempting and thin:The Dockland Proxy
2000 May 23The cards were dealt, and in my handHomily For Courtesans in Norwich cathedral
2001 Sep 5The carrot spoke too sweetlyQuiet Teatime Moments
2003 Dec 3The champagne glass lies shatteredIncreasingly Preposterous Homilies
2000 May 3The chief delight of Roland RatUniversal Generalisations Are Tiresome
2006 Jun 12The clouds are filled with bicyclesNo Peppermint Drops
2003 Feb 20The cobbler, blind for seven yearsImmediately Nobody
2002 Mar 10The conical nose had been smeared with strawberry jam:Lift-off! (Red Umbrellas)
2004 Mar 29The cookbook used by Dr WhoExtraterrestrial, Improperly Aligned
2003 Jul 22The Creature wouldn't seem so bad if only he spoke clearlyThe Hopscotches are Growling
2003 Jun 30The creek oozes down through the dimwitted woodErie Canal
2001 Dec 18The Crossbill, famed in Nordic loreLesbians of Yesteryear
2001 Dec 18The Crossbow, famed in Chinese talesCap in Handsworth
2004 Jan 30The crutch on which you make your wayBalletic Tropism
1997 Jul 27The curlew trolls to Nell of darkling hayWhat is Golden?
2003 Aug 7The customer is always right!Fight the Defiant Epithets for Sleeping Chickens
2002 Aug 21The dark cathedral shiversThe Obverse Equivalent
1999 Mar 7The death's-head watched and waited,Nubility One
2003 Dec 9The denizens of AlabamaBashful Statements Of Statehood
2003 Aug 18The desert sands are sleeping tonightThe Revolution
2001 Dec 17The Devil's in the detailHorse-Box Politics
***1997 Jan 19The dictionary was far from greenEldred's glum, glum spleen
2004 Feb 18The djinn that made me sneezeDoom Dealt Deftly
1997 Sep 18The doctrine of a shining spoonThe Pan Holds Mixed Croutons
2003 Sep 8The dream went to sleep,Insupportable Toothbrushes
2001 Dec 23The drips from his ten-gallon hatNoontide Passion
2005 Feb 22The Dutch maintain that any eyeSigh No More, Ladies
2004 Sep 2The early bird, that gets the lion's shareDice In The Ovens Of Rheims
2003 Dec 8The early morning moon is pale as a chalk daubWings Of Men Who Wait
2004 Oct 14the egret watched the passing shipThe Jurisprudence Of Aquatic Creatures
2003 Nov 22The elephants of Iceland were meeting for the talksFish Jam Voting
2003 Aug 11The empty swing still made arcsSadly Going Between Seasons
2005 Jul 30The empty vest had seen some timesTantric Diagrams
2005 Aug 8The end is the beginning, subtly changedThe Stranger Butler
1997 Mar 10The end of the day is not the start of the nightProposition (The Metaphysical Routine)
2002 Oct 4The entire world is as a foreign placeThe Victorian Philistines
2003 Sep 10The Eskimo, my paramourCurse Me, Fungus!
2006 Jun 25The faded lilies by the wallBeyond The Twelfth Night Service Desk
1997 Mar 13The filing cabinet, the filing cabinetA Token for Parting
2003 Oct 25The film was droll, though there were dull stretchesTheatre of Heads
2003 Sep 17The first thing I learned in my life as a catIf Only God Lived 9 Lives
2003 Jan 27The first time I went to IraqPerson or Thing Unknown
2006 Feb 11The flames were gone, but, yet, a tiny emberFlames Coated With Heavy Penalties
2002 Mar 13The flat skyEliot's Daily Variations
2003 Nov 20The fridge is lurking in a corner - tempting me to sinSo Let's Not Eat
2003 Aug 7The frog comes in on little fat feetFrogs and Stale
2002 Aug 2The funny thing is, remarked FredLimerick Folly
2002 Aug 8The funny thing is, remarked SmithTransplant for Triplets (Under Local Anaesthetic)
2000 Jun 29The gambler folds his hand and sets his gazeEggs And Artillery
2004 Jan 22The gas oven sings a sweet song to my leadened seratoninForever The Syntax Omelette
2001 Dec 19The gate is torn asunder thereBrute Pesto Lollipop (Intolerance)
2006 Aug 23The Gates of Ivory and HornNight From Midnight
2003 Jul 17The geese were flying high, the ducksTo Birds
2004 Mar 3The generals are born againMiddle Victorian
2002 Jul 26The glaciers of EgyptScarcely
2003 Jun 23The glamour of a teaspoonIf You Could Falter
2006 May 12The glittering lights of Montmatre in her eyesKiki On Speed
2002 Nov 6The goat came down from the hill-topsA Contest for Castle Custard
2004 Jan 26The grandpaternity suitWell-wisher's Bride
2000 May 2The great thing about the verse compositions of Ogden NashOur Nose, Once Bitten
2000 Aug 4The green in a bluebottle's eyeIcy Privy
1998 Jun 30The Green Joy made the Queen wet with dewMy funicular cutlets, redeemed
2001 Jan 10The gremlins in my kitchen makeNasty, Nasty
2000 Oct 3The grumpy armadillo sat in front of his computerWhose Shift Avoids Whose Pellicule?
2004 Jul 29The Gryphon, on his rival pageBless This Horse With Greatness
2003 Jun 27The gypsy's skirts swirled like the leaves in the fallOddments of the Blonde
2003 Sep 20The haiku beckonsRegardless of Their Appearance
2003 Aug 26The haiku returnsDoor To Indisposable Sleep
2003 Jul 18The Hamptons are green this time of year.The Perpetual Unloved Turtles
2003 Jul 19The haughty hippotamus spake unto the King:Things Of The Wild Unknown
2006 Jul 17The hideous spectre of her purseDrum Dazed
2005 Mar 23The horror-shows of ancient GaulIncoherence Everywhere Discovered Anew
2001 Jan 23The hour of innocence, of hopes and dreamsA Vain Attempt in English to Accommodate Divers
2003 Aug 2The house was haunted, so they saidFree at Halloween
2003 Aug 19The incredulous bunch, the lot of them allShameless? Us?
2003 Sep 18The ink was barely dry upon the pageMy Blotter
2003 Aug 30The internet crawled to a haltDon Prufrock, Life of Tedium
2003 Sep 24The Irish invented the limerickWater Fingers
2003 Nov 7The jester donned his liripipeHaiku With Problems
2001 Jan 8The kangaroos are at the aquarium?Brothers in Canberra
1999 Feb 11The Lady's not for burningSpin Friar
2003 Jul 23The lamps are lit, the table set, the goose is in the ovenTonight delights us lovingly, but ...
2004 Feb 25The last time I polkaed with TedNear Creepy Cow Lane
2003 Jul 20The last time I saw ParisParis Blemished
2005 Sep 21The last was gone before its hourPacked Without Any Discernible Entropy
2004 Mar 31The late sonatas on a lute?Hammerklavier, Dissonantly
2002 Nov 27The lawn was laidCactus Mothering
2003 Sep 29The leaves are turning brown again. I wonder how they knowHypothermic Ennui for Old Times
2003 Sep 6The lesser spotted SpoonbillChristmas Eggs (Sorry)
2000 Jan 21The lines of life upon her faceHurrah! A Pointless Stereo Pencil
2004 Feb 18The lion's the king of the beastsThe Great Roar
2003 Oct 6The lipstick factory: kick down the doorNailing Lips To My Umbrella
2006 Feb 10The little prophets of an idol-kingWho Prefers Bedsocks?
2004 Feb 19The lonely hearts in Sgt. Pepper's BandCrybaby Number Nine (1967)
2004 Apr 15The lonely Swedish manThe Danish Word
2003 Aug 5The long body-swept grassDenied Dreams
2003 Aug 27The long haul to Christmas has started todayPole Bank Frippery
2004 Aug 11The lumps one sometimes finds in creamSyllabub Proverbs
1999 Nov 18The main thing to remember about hunting with a fishSuds
1997 Aug 15The man who vilifies my tentNegligee Vector
2003 Jul 19The men and women came, from far across the landCollaboration Is Not Essential
2001 Sep 26The men in Berlin are terribly thinA Pleonastic Admirer of Superfluous Nuns
2003 Oct 21The millimetre: squat, uncleanPam Sandwiches, Pruriently Sliced
2001 Aug 20The Ministry of FrostAirlock, Warlock
2003 Sep 26The miscreant potatoThe Copy-Cat Stutter
2003 Sep 18The money ran out, and I had to leaveTo Brother Domino
2005 Jun 29The mood, in Hitler's bunkerAlways Downfallen
2003 Nov 27The moon is made of cheese, and soHeresy Of Cosmic Sanity
2003 Nov 12The moon shone bright on that surly nightThe Moon That Howled, "Donald!"
2003 Aug 7The moon was shining on the grassTime and the Walrus
2003 Aug 4The moon will nevermoreHeart Shines
2003 Aug 12The moon's a baloon, you knowPaper Grasshoppers
2001 Dec 5The mouse crept closer to its goalOn Galvanizing Spartan Surfaces
2004 May 25The moving pencil writes and, having writ, it breaksRubbish-tip Top
2003 Oct 24The mustard in my lemonadeAperitifs to Drink When Meeting Your Maker
1997 Jun 9The never-ending cycle of the wars 'twixt good and illCarbon Pump City
2003 Nov 16The next time you think thatWorse Than Any Titans
2003 Aug 25The night is a ladyOf no uncertain temperamentBrooding Night
***1998 May 30The night this narrative beganConfusion Excuses This Apparently Plotless Fiasco
2003 Jul 18The night was dark and stormySnow Slithers Up
1999 Mar 2The night was dark, and dire foreboding crackled in the airIt never happened really except once maybe yesterday
1998 Jun 10The night we rode, the path we trod, we knew how it would endOne Daren't Expect More
1998 Sep 4The note bore the crest of nobility,Romeo's Last Reward (Exodus)
2003 Jul 24The old mountain holds a secretHills Speak of Chlorine
1998 Feb 18The opera-house, from half-past oneUnwholesome Lodgings
2006 Jan 25The other day (or was it night?)At Equal Intervals
1999 Dec 16The other day I found a paper clipClaudius Jointless, Claudius Pointless
1997 May 4The outskirts of OdessaWhen Spoons Collide
2003 Jul 24The page is blankBrie Tabula
2003 Jun 17The pallid young apprenticeAfterglow/Puzzle
2003 Nov 12The paupers, intimiate with secrets of the court,Does Anybody Else Think That We Aren't Seeing Much?
2003 Aug 5The phone is mute, a black hookPhones and Windows
2000 Mar 9The photo showed the final phaseNeptune's Missing Noonday Umbrellas Of Blossom
2002 Dec 24The plenitude of earthly thoughtsLincoln's Curry Riders
2004 Aug 31The politican declaimed and avowedCampaigns Begin Like Bladders
2006 Sep 8The pool beneath the breakfast hallThe Blanched Almonds of Hoboken
***2001 Mar 22The practice of law is a terminal boreFather, Forgive Our Carpentry
2006 Dec 17The price of dodging RSIHe See Nothing With Relish
1997 Jan 30The price of penance is the soul,Although My Testament Lies Steaming
2004 Jul 2The problem is easy to seeDomestic Meltdown
2004 May 7The problem of a bee cityCarbohydrate Counts Against Each Mouthful
2003 Sep 18The problem with speaking in verseAbout A Hedgehog
2003 Sep 1The proof of the rockUntitled
2006 Jun 6The prunes were laid out, row on row,Ibstokon, Who Prefers All Comers
2004 Jan 26The pulse that beats within a fleaEach Syllable Concocted By Buddhists
2003 Aug 27The pups are gamboling againMust Pups Melt Their Carpet?
2003 Jul 8The Raiders of Gor had slavegirls galore and kept them all in chainsTime and Four Fantastic Spoons
2003 Aug 25The rain fell only between the hours of 6 and 7Why is Rain?
2002 Aug 16The rain it raineth every dayStupid Polar
***2001 Aug 12The rain poured down; the waters rose,Noah often said that it was lucky to stick herrings to trees
2003 Jul 26The rains had not come that yearWill Oceans Devour the Unforeseen Goats?
2001 Sep 3The rapid history becomes a page unturnedDelirium's Retchings
2003 Aug 22The rarely recognised conversationUngentle Urgings
1999 May 18The rate of completion increasesFurther from the Beatiful Foot
2004 Apr 29The rats climbed on the rising shipSausages Stitched Lengthways
2004 Jan 21The rattle of toys being hurled out of pramsUt Nicotinum Ad Adorum Nescientum
2003 Oct 16The real derivation of 'prat'Protruding Posterior
2003 Apr 22The red poem remains unreadUnsaid, Unsaid
2003 Oct 8The restrooms here are fairly cleanMy Least Best Failing
2003 Sep 25The river was breaking its bankThe Tidal Sound of Deflated Souls
2002 Mar 20The roots of criminal intentGoose Desk
2001 Jul 27The Scandinavian roll-mopImpertinent Desires
2004 Jan 29The scarlet letter, none too soonSemicolon Failings
1999 Jan 26The seeds of gourds shook,shook,shook!Seeds
2003 Jun 20The semi thrummed o'er seams in the open roadFor an Unknown Frog
2002 Aug 5The sergeant sighed as his steely gazeThe Lament of my Square Informal Tusks
1997 May 12The shadow cabinet-makerThe Implacable Syphon
2003 Jul 25The shelving groaned with weight tomesOddments From the Bookstores
2001 Aug 10The shores of sand stood up and wavedSeaside Hallucination (Felixstowe Docks)
2004 Jul 21The short-cuts that Yevgeny likesTaller Despite Appearances
2002 Jul 26The skies were heavy as an ounce of osmium,Stolen From Steel Factory Sirens
2003 Oct 4The sky is blue and so are youCaptain Correction
2003 Jul 23The sky was dark, and rain was fallingNighttime Paddling
2003 Jul 18The slate is clean, the ink is freshAgain We Raise the Standards of Poetry Crimes Against Humanity
2003 Oct 9The sly London chair gang is at it againThe Dreaded Chair Gang
2003 Sep 18The smell of camphor; dust motes in the sun;Semi Frenzy
1999 Jan 18The smiles I get when I dance around the barIs of Night
2003 Jul 24The smog comes on little rat feetSmog Onions
2003 Nov 10The soup is rather thick todayThe Abandoned Soup Molestors
2002 May 13The south of France is not a placeThe Firmament Throughout
2003 Nov 12The squash, I fear, is overcookedThe Ultimate Sob Story
2003 Nov 27The stack's not much fun anymoreEvident Hypocrisy
2000 Jan 14The stately tread of centuries has just assailed our earsNew, Tidier Pixies
2005 Sep 18The stickleback: how, in its primeThese Are My Diverse
2000 Oct 3The stillness of the day, the ceaseless humMy Zebra Toes
2003 Aug 6The store was stocked with many thingsStore Your Smiles
1997 Feb 28The sun and moon kiss in the light of dayMore Paraffin for my PerpetualApprentice
1999 Jan 7The sun had scarcely risen when we started down the laneTrip, 15th August 1812
2000 Mar 3The sun sinks slowly into the sea, or so it seems.Corporeal Longings: The Carrot Stick Of Appearances
2003 Sep 22The sun was not shining the dayWho Will Have The Lady Over?
2003 Sep 8The sycamore's riposteSequoia's Lawyers
2004 Aug 11The taxidermist's holidayRustic Tangent
2004 Nov 17The telecon went on and onThe Approach Of Suicidal Robots
2003 Jul 29The telephone is ringing, dearUnbidden Answer to Cellular Message
2002 Feb 11The terebinth was singing, but its words were quite obscure -Marmot Receipts Multiply
2002 May 8The tiger hunting in the duskMy Lion-hearted Friend Edgar
2003 Jul 24the tiny white wheelbarrow, overturned,Voices Broken
2003 Dec 11The Tower of Babel, good sirBiblical Soundbites
2004 Aug 11The tram that passed the OperaDistant Fashion
2004 Feb 19The trampled multitude are free -Sometimes Enough Makes Sense
***1996 Dec 26The travails of my giroscopeMisadventures Without Misconduct
2003 Sep 22The Troubadour was travelling, his merry band in towMinstrels Really Know
2002 Feb 22The trouser-press is waiting forAny child can puke Beethoven's last minuet
2004 Mar 1The trunk in the attic held something amazingSurprise Me Less
1997 Oct 31The twenty-first of AutumnFinally, the Revelation that Armpits aren't Necessary
1998 Mar 8The unblessed stranger twisted forth,Whether Lewinsky Swore (Wittgenstein's Homily)
2003 Nov 10The Underbelly CultCult Irregularities
1999 Jan 11The unicorn, though custom deems it myth,Tales for the Dogmatical Nursemaid
2002 Oct 29The vandal! I dreadDali's Baby Next Time
2003 Dec 29The version I favourSomething Beyond Hymenoptera
2003 Aug 26The waves are in turmoil, and strike at the rocks"You Are Carbon", We Said
2004 May 10The weight of any bantamShelley: Drowning Was Enough
2004 Jun 20The weight of expectation is pressing on my brainGrid Of Life Expectant
2002 Jan 3The Welder was welding as never beforeThe Blood Line of Blandishment Castle
2004 Jan 6The winter sun broke through the trees, to shine upon the meadowClichés Usually Reserved For Sensitive Souls
2006 Aug 1The Witch-Queen wrought an awful curse:Nothing But Our Static Senses
2003 Oct 22The world, a fuzzball, a ball of yarnVice and Chips
2003 Aug 15The worm has made our cities blackHavoc with Spring-Loaded Crutches
2003 Aug 29The wrong kind of sun, the wrong kind of snowThe Burlington Commuter Blues
2003 Jan 29The year was but a few weeks oldRemembrance of Things Pasteurised
2000 Jan 23The Zimmer by the garage doorIntergalactic Journey of a Broken Cruet
2001 Feb 8Their shop lay in a triangleGeometry Crawls Nightwards
2001 Dec 12Thematic spoonful, years of cornForgotten Riposte V
2003 Nov 8There appears to be much merriment tonightDebauchery, Alcohol, And Nothing Left
2003 Jul 28There are many things you do not knowKnowledge Couth Forsooth
2004 Jan 23There are so many words that rhyme with "whack":Bootblack Hatrack Knickknack
2004 Jan 16There hast never been a thing more shinyDrastic Therapy For Two
2003 Aug 13There is a secret hidden in the code...Untitled
2005 Jan 20There is a tavern in the townWelsh Ditty
2002 Oct 4There is deep water everywhereWhy not experience leprosy first-hand?
2003 Aug 1There is magic in the air tonightEvenings Much Like This
2003 Aug 28There is often told a legend of a treasureYour Prize
1996 Nov 1There is room for two legs in my trousersCost-effective Starlight
2001 Jan 7There is, I've heard, an organist, who plays at half past threeFashionable, The Unseemly Lexicographer
2003 Nov 12There never has been a good timeTill Eulenspiegel For Amateurs
2003 Sep 3There once was a boffin called TimTim the Godfearing Scientist
2003 Aug 5There once was a cold winter knightThe End of a Shrewd Heroine
2003 Sep 4There once was a Cornishman, Lee,Escape Attempts
2003 Sep 4There once was a Coventry MonkeyPuzzled Monkey
2003 Nov 12There once was a curious catConsequences
2003 Jul 30There once was a dog named MollieDog Life Dance
2003 Aug 8There once was a hack called Andrew GilliganSpin Skipper, My Ass
2003 Aug 18There once was a man who was purple (world's hardest limerick coming up...)True Stories but Grossly Truncated
2003 Sep 24There once was a moose from OntarioUnlikely Gumdrops from Savannah
2003 Oct 21There once was a pervert named MickJust A Hog
2003 Sep 20There once was a pirate, BlackbeardPirate Rhymes
2003 Aug 11There once was a poet of noteBillboards, Numbers, and the Signs for Heaven
2003 Sep 23There once was an arrogant PharaohThe Wickedness of Luxor
2003 Nov 19There once was lady from KnoxJerry-built Riffs
2002 Oct 22There upon the ceiling, in a pattern rich and rare,Rescued From My Defects
2003 Aug 17There was a fine seller of pearlsKamasutra for Happy Knives and Spoons
2003 Jul 25There was a man from TimbuktuPoetry and Excess
2003 Nov 7There was a spoonbiller so svelteShaking Moon Teabag
2003 Jul 20There was a strange lad from OntarioNippising
***1998 Jul 20There was a young lady fron Dar-es-SalaamAt First Simply Guessing
2003 Sep 7There was a young maiden from NomeBrian is There
2003 Nov 11There was a young maiden named SueInto The Black Of The Tentacle
2000 Jun 9There was a young man from KilbrideNanette Newman's Naughty Knickers Say "Oh! Oh! Oh!
2000 Jun 6There was a young man from KilbrideGoats Cannae Knit
2005 Oct 23There was a young man from NantucketThe Tartan Cow Trap
2005 Feb 16There was a young man from NantucketNantucket Disappointment
2003 Aug 26There was a young nun from HobokenWho's To Absolve the Jersey Stitch?
2003 Sep 19There was a young painter from MaineThe Hoity-Toity Envelopes
2003 Aug 4There was a young plumber from DorsetFate Knocks at Victorian Doors
2003 Oct 23There was an old coot from ZimbabweRobert Faked Tough Choices
2003 Jul 23There was an old geezer from KentFellatio Limericks
2003 Dec 18There was an old goatherd named BillForever In Love With Marilyn
2003 Sep 10There was an old hag from New YorkThe Exorcism of All Limericks
2003 Oct 14There was an old lady from WalesRelentless Knishes
2003 Aug 22There was an old maid from DuluthA Doberman You All Wanted To Know
2003 Jul 24There was an old man from PeruA Homerian Epic of Anglicans in Peru
2005 Mar 30There was an old man from Sioux FallsFashion Misstated
2003 Nov 21There was an old man, Mr. TuckerAvoidance Of Outrageous Aphorisms
2003 Aug 12There was once a man in a taleJonah On War
1998 Jun 3There was, perhaps, a waving arm,Nine Beatles Glimpsing Salvation
2004 Mar 5There' s no use whiningPunctuated Parsimony
2006 Aug 15There's a red house over yonderThe Lesson Of Days Before Tuesday
1999 Jan 7There's a THERE there all rightAll But There
2003 Aug 7There's halfcock and moorcockCocksure
2004 Feb 13There's many pheasant pluckers farm life's fieldHarvest Me Gently Yet
2000 Nov 7There's no adventure that's too fancifulSqueezing Another's Pocket
2003 Jan 10There's nothing so originalSqueeze the Glands Beyond Table Manners
2001 Nov 7There's nothing to accomplish in the dustKurosawa Crawled Heavenward
2004 Feb 13There's time enough for changing sidesI Won't Be Flying Anywhere Near Basildon
2003 Jun 5There's too little gristle and not enough fatSpin-doctors Confused
2000 Oct 30There, dancing on my craniumCullington's Theorem
2004 Aug 5These brief linesTo The Nth Decree
2007 Mar 15These brinks on which we teeterLest We Forge Unwitting Jubilation
2005 Nov 12These canals are full of fish?!Amsterdam Transfers
2002 Oct 2These comedy mothsGrappling infrequently with the engine-driver's antibodies
2004 Aug 4These cosy virtuosiNightly Coal Kimono
2004 Oct 11These distinctions, in the dark,State-side Transmissions
2003 Mar 9These latter-day halfwits, invading the turfPestilent Ploughshares, Deficient Turnips
2003 Jul 19These lovely fruit loops in my lap, these hairpins on my dogUntitled
***1997 May 22These low and oily charmersOne Smug Portillo, Timely Forgotten
2003 Sep 18These neatherds know a trick or twoSound-Effects for Hitchcock's Railway
2004 Jun 26These old molluscs, bought for tea, inscribeM 32 Road Movie
2004 Jul 7These pronouncements, from the moon, were made in dead of night:The Right Lunar Terrace Concept
2001 Dec 7These suicides, who strut the streetsNorth-South Pedestrian Crossings
2003 Jul 17TheyOde to the Televangelists
1997 Jan 24They also serve who wait there to returnThe Uneasiness Of Motives
2007 Jan 5They met at Domus FelixIn Dreams of Counterfeited Harmony
2004 Nov 18They say that those who live their livesEnvious Neighbors
2003 Aug 15They say the power has just gone outThe Over
2004 Mar 22They say you're no goodBefore Cows Were Chic
2003 Jun 16They trained me, from mine early yearsSwinging the Tarzan
2003 Sep 2Things I would do if I were a cowboy:If You Were Unveiling
2004 Dec 1This bathing cap, whose time-eroded pleatsThoughts Of The Tedious Old Graybeards
2003 Nov 4This bottle of grease is empty!Milk Shouting Louder
2004 Jan 29This caustic little dittyEvening Along Its Transverse Axis
2004 Mar 24This choice of relish was not of the best,Marrows Away
1998 Apr 3This confirmsReduplications over
2000 Jan 7This divan whereupon I lieThe Margarine Heart-Throb
2004 Apr 19This diversion - to the moon! -Chesse-topped Minstrels
2001 Aug 16This door is alarmedThere goes another racing certainty
2002 Jan 14This egg, which sank in mercury,Benign Impostures
2004 Aug 24This encroachment, on my lawn,Estonian Homonyms
1997 Sep 20This extra leg's a botherA Toasted Budgie in my Laxative
2000 Feb 15This flower that we planted long agoSonnet
2004 Jun 25This happy nest has made me cryEach Dainty Ballerina And Her Imaginary Pilchard
2001 Dec 10This helicopter, whose neglectInwardly, Yet Outwardly
2004 Jun 24This invention makes me sick!Unworthy Of Scorn
1997 Mar 2This is an ode to all things past,Swooping Ono Delight
2003 Jul 24This is dedicated to the one I loveOwnership for Men
2003 Jul 19This is in free verse and I mean to state that always the cambembert is staleUntitled
2005 Feb 16This is nowThe Frictionless Vol-au-vent
2003 Sep 26This is the first lineFinis is
2003 Aug 18This is the strangest placeMemories Sleep With You
1997 Sep 8This is the way the lady ridesCan poignant rubbish be reliable?
2007 Mar 26This lizard, crabbed and taut,Unless Cruel Servitude Beckons
2006 Jun 27This mausoleum, filled with Zinc,Death Again
2004 Jan 22This message to the nearly deadThe Cork Coffins
2003 Oct 1This metropolis, this wasteland, these wand'ring soulsSeveral Nirvana Years
2003 Dec 23This mortal skull that looks on mePeaches En Famille
2003 Nov 12This mournful empty spaceVacancy Is All The Rage
2004 Jun 25This mouth of saltThe Kiss Cabin
1997 Jul 23This overbearing convoyMind My Forgotten Puddleduck
2004 Jan 3This page is discontinuedAvoid The Dossier
2005 Sep 4This Plasticene®'s Jurassic, don't you know?Leonine Mellinger Pronounces Herself Destitute
2003 Oct 17This plethora of picklesAny Old Moth-Eaten Universe
2002 Jul 5This poem concerns Hades.In Contempt of a Buried Steamship
2003 Nov 9This poem was written by Walter RaleighBird Authors' Noble Claims
2004 Jun 25This poem will be highbrow and clean as a whistleThistle Bow And Saw
2004 Sep 16This rare dark beauty doth my heart inspireNothing But The Very Onerous Consumption Of Desire
2004 Oct 6This secret havenOutlawed Haiku
2005 Jan 28This small sachet - take a sniff! -Where Angels Spoonfeed Tiny Tots
2002 Jul 18This so-called portrait of the BardProfessor Branestawm Finally Succumbs
2002 Jan 30This time, I shall follow my leaderMy Finite and Fastidious Friend
2003 Aug 1This time, Sam, we'll make a dealFishing for the Deal Makers
2003 Nov 4This time, then another, then - perhaps - once moreGambits Under Glass
2004 Dec 9This wearisome droughtPathos During Moonsets
2003 Aug 3Thistly waysides line the primrose path of dallianceThe Providence Networks
2001 Feb 3Those onomatopoeic wordsBirds - So?
2004 Jul 18Thou old, unruly turbanAmerica Next Thursday Or Thereabouts
2003 Sep 7Thou still unopen'd flask of liquor,Beer Gods
2006 Jun 20Thou, pollen, art my nemesisThe Lost Banter
2006 Jul 29Though Cecil balked at Puffy's planRavioli Ramblings
2000 Jan 31Though drowning in the vat, I canPontifex Caught Under Bridges
2004 Jan 29Three down redoubled, 1000 away440 Foursome
1997 Sep 15Three drops of cactus-waterOne moonbeam, undercooked
2004 Sep 2Three hobbling blondesAdrift Beyond Our Reckoning
2003 Aug 17Three score and ten years agoEnd And End
2003 Jul 17Three smooth stones near water's edge, gray as everydaySoupspoon
2000 Jan 7Three to one, three to oneOnce Over Once Again
2003 Aug 18THREE WORDS PER LINE, UNRHYMEDExemptions for the Uneducated Lozenge
2001 Jan 17Thumb screws , finger nailsI, Diamond Jim
1999 Nov 16Thus it remains, and the remainder thusBillericay notwithstanding ...
1999 Jun 29Tick Tock...Boing!Atmos the Ferric
2001 Sep 28Tie me to the lamp-post with a silken threadDagenham Cakeshop
2000 May 10Tie me to the undergrowth with a length of twine!Three Dodgy Hamsters, Always Gardening!
2002 Nov 12Tie them to the bowsprit? With a scratched CD?Epitaph for an Asymmetrical Arrrangement of Bears
2003 Dec 19Tim sits alone at his desk in the darkGreatly Exaggerated Half-truths
1999 Jan 28Time and again I'm obliged to remarkContinental Head
2000 Dec 15Time and again, with weary treadI Stagger Under Fourfold Fardels
2000 Jan 14Time stands still; the bullet hangs in the airThe Whatsit, Evermore
1998 Mar 17Timely teal creepsNocturne by Insectlike Co-authors
2007 Mar 28Tinctures of old leadSleeping is no Phenomenon
2003 Oct 2tinyStraight Forward
2007 Mar 1Tirades against The Steady StateBefore More Nuns Knew Lisaveta Pilchard
2003 Nov 18Titrate this acid, if you please, against this salt,Highly Prized Hydrocarbon
2002 May 15To bridge the gap 'twixt man and machineColonels Crooning to Their Dowagers
2004 Aug 25To build a good business you mustWhile Parachutes Descend Upon Unsuspecting Parsons
2005 Feb 3To catch the dreaded HeffalumpPiglet In Weymouth
2004 Feb 23To cling, once more, to selfsame formsNo, Angels Shouldn't
2004 May 28To count the rings of SaturnDesist, Whoreson Knave, Lest Great Cudgellings Befall Thee
2004 May 29To cudgel, to cajoleBanished From Man's Ears
2003 Jul 22To dear Mrs Hoopledon, I hope you're feeling betterConfessions, Truly
2002 Nov 6To drill through the crust of The HaguePeeping Tomcat
2004 Oct 17To fetishise her silhouetteDunciad Of Love-sick Hands
2006 May 30To generate hysteria, the Queen declared the areaInbred Heirloom
2004 Mar 2To get into the Hall of FameTo Strive For Dizzying Perfection
2005 Aug 22To grasp these prawns will take some skillLasers In Latin
2004 Dec 16To hoist a somewhat smaller flagDoubly Formal Zebras
1999 Jul 5To line our wombs with chemicalsUnpleasant Lacuna
2004 Mar 19To polevault, or to stay in bed?Collaborating, Supposedly
2004 Jun 16To prime one's seventh armpitIn Our Wintry Organ
2004 Jul 14To redefine our cliqueEach Weary Welcoming
1998 Dec 13To renovate the galaxyOne More Landscape
2002 Oct 4To say that he was fat would beTowards the Sloping Planet
2004 Aug 13To scuttle through the shallows with my claws stretched wideCrabbily Dressed For Dancing Partners
2006 Sep 2To sit with you at sunriseCan Chewing
2002 Jul 30To tear the grimy GospelRotting Icebergs, Sketched by Proust
2000 Jun 14To think of bursting as a choreGive It Some Welly Now!
2003 Aug 18To those of you who through the yearsRevenge
2004 Jan 12To those who'd venture off the brink, atop a fold-up scooter,Snow Wheels
2003 Jul 11To thy nobility am I obligedAccessible Under Hegemony
2006 Jun 8To view the ocean from a cliffHereinafter Hake
2005 Jul 8To view this page as Scratch'n'SniffCrop Circling Gear
2005 Sep 3To wait upon the late expressCrustaceans In Error
2003 Sep 25To write a good poem several things are requiredA Melee Mightn't Make My Machinations Musical
2004 Jul 5To yield without coercionWho Knows More Than Folk?
2001 Jan 1Toast Christmas dogSymphony Buttocks With Apricot Orchestra
2004 Dec 10Toasting bread is rarely easyThe Mean Spirit Inside My Frog
2001 Oct 12Today, when none was ever bornConversely
2002 Nov 14Toffee dipped in chocolate, by the wastrel's hand,Sign Rise
2003 Jul 26Tommy, where is my yellow scarf?The Yellow Sofa
2006 Sep 7Tonsils made of plasticShowmen, Their Regrettable Legend
2003 Nov 29Too gracious for a moonlight flitDodgy Flaps
1999 Feb 13Toothpaste is a substance that I readily ingestSqueamish, Mother?
2002 Sep 9Torn off a stripMix My Chickens
2003 Sep 6Tragically, we must report this sad fact:Googlewhacking Report
1997 Jan 12Translations of ancient words,My Ingot Balloon
***1997 Jan 24TransubstantiationNot Enough Sodium
1997 Oct 11Tribal animosityReasonable Crimes Of Tarpaulin
2004 Nov 1Tribulation, fear and woePlane Of Placenta
1999 Feb 8Triceratops, my maiden auntThe Helicopter's Plenitude
2003 Sep 9Trilingualism, once a curse,U-Boat Blessings
2000 Jan 10TrimThe Cracked Omnipotence
2003 Aug 26Trombones are sounding in my sleepI Hear Sousaphones Marching
2001 Aug 18Trumpets are greenForget Neptune
2005 Aug 23Trust me with your pudding storeHelp! Aunt Potter Stole My Neckerchief
2003 Aug 28Try not to get your knickers in a knotWill Scarlett Ruffled Your Whiskers
2003 Nov 28Turkey, yams and pumpkin pieFood For Sentimental Souls Like Us
2003 Jul 23Twas jillig and the smirky twerpsSpoonbillrocy
2002 Nov 5Twas' once the perfect time for wrath,Queen Adelaide's Shapely Bozos
2003 Dec 29Twenty past midnight, I want to go homeLament Not The Passing Of Haliborange
2003 Aug 30Twice I read your willWhy Death Is
2005 Jan 18Twice in one day! A rare delightHome Schooling And No Bidets
2000 Mar 31Twice, beneath a battered moonSickening Ogresses Devour Octameters
2003 Nov 1Twixt D and F I'm found, but missing from this balladEven Elves Entirely Excellent
1997 Apr 10Two doggerels, whelped in one litter23 Babies In Maritime Tryst
1997 Apr 26Two doggerels, whelped in one litterTrans-Atlantic Plagiarism, And The Combustible Alibi
2001 Dec 10Two-ring circus, one horse townTwenty-Three Costermonger High-Road
2003 Aug 18Types of Medical CoverageFarce Of
2003 Oct 10U LKE 2 HIKU?Let's
2003 Jul 17Ubiquity is the folly of unshorn llamasUnshorn
2003 Jul 21Unbeknown to Ivor PooterIvor the Besotten
2004 Oct 22Unbridled is your sense of fearPharyngitis Spells Trouble
1998 Aug 12Unbroken, unending, the wine-darkened seaWe Build, The Planes Come
1999 Dec 24Uncertain and yet, somehow, sureWorse Shame Than Coal-Shovelling Tendencies
2003 Sep 29Uncork the bottle and light a cigarMy Puckered Times
2003 Jul 28Under the covers, bodies moveLost Lies Under
2003 Oct 1Under the shedding nose-nut treeTree Urchin
2003 Aug 26Underneath a mountain, in a dark secluded caveThe Thong Is What Poses
2000 Apr 3Underneath my Mother TongueWhose Other Stomach?
2003 Aug 7UNDERPANTS AND BLUCHERSThings Seven Of Pairs Socks Cannot Provide
2003 Sep 26Une nuit foncée et orageuseThe Global Hegemony of You and Yours
2007 Feb 19Union State gave way to blues - in a doleful way -Fragments Concluded
1998 Jun 7Unpredictable grammar,The mystified Walrus construction
2004 Mar 18Unshockable, the bailiff's urgeProved Once, Baked Twice
1999 Feb 22Unskilled workers toil wordlesslyNever Knowingly Charmed
2003 Aug 15UntitledUntitled, Entitled, Retitled
2004 Dec 24Up here we no longer have a need . . . for thumbsLimblessly Effortless
2003 Oct 13Up your nose with a rubber hoseDeep-Fried Nostalgia
2001 Dec 6Up, the new downHopping Around the Fringes
2004 May 18Upanishads and Vedic verseWe Sold Our Restaurants In Cyprus
2003 Jan 2Upon a star I wished one dayAlexandrian Wish Warrior
2005 Jan 17Upon the next-to-shortest dayGrey From Top To Towpath
2003 Jul 18Upon the plain the stegosaurusJust As Jurassic
2006 Feb 28Vanishing by windmills,Wise Virgins Stitched In Gorgonzola
2002 Oct 3Ventriloquists with salmonellaNot Lovers
2003 Nov 28Venus and SerenaUniversally Horsewhipped
2003 Nov 13Venus came to Athens, thence from there to Rome,Olympian Breakfasting
2003 Nov 21Verily, I think I'll slumpInsufficiently Stylish Behaviour
2003 Aug 6Versification is such titillationTitillate but Don't Touch
2003 Sep 26Versify where you are ableDifficult Times
2004 Jan 15Vesalius, whose scalpel brightAnatomical Chaps
2003 Oct 19Violets are blueDeath is What the Cliché Will
1999 Apr 26Virginal scrapings are like unto goldHandel's Balletic Hymen
2004 Oct 5Virus warfare for our timesCredible Safe Kill Factor
2003 Jun 23Vowels with a vengeance invigorate vowsRock Husks
2003 Aug 4Waking up at sparrow's fartMorning
2004 Aug 30Wallowing hogs and leaping frogsAddicts Of Various Dispositions
2000 Dec 25Waltzing through the alley-wayTitograd Cathedral, Fatuous In Defeat
2001 Dec 11Wandering churchwardens, speaking in tonguesDreaming Our Favourite Cyclones
***2000 Jan 30Warm in nutritious mulch, we germinate,Big Custard
2002 Oct 10Wars are documentaries now...Knitting Vol-au-vents
2004 May 21Was it for this that I sold all my children?Seven Seasons In Red
2004 Apr 15Watch out for my claimBusinessman In Loose Flannels
2005 Jan 11Way down upon the Swanee RiverThe Crooner Under Cover
2004 Sep 21We are the CorporationNature And Delight Worn Out
2006 Feb 24We changed your appointmentLodestar Of The Ballooning Nurse
2005 Sep 9We danced, in nothing but a hatWhen Caesar Foamed
2000 May 14We don't regret the cakes that glisten in the sandIn Africa, Hoplessly Lost
2003 Oct 4We fell into the oceanOur First Love We Denied
2006 Mar 15We flee the sun, and head back to the grayHomeward Boundary
2003 Aug 14We have searched the world for treasureGoals and Perils
2003 Aug 11We have waited for a new beginningThe Horizons of Renewal
2004 Nov 30We hear you're taking a trip to the moonLunar Love-fest
2000 Aug 15We met in Dublin, in disguise,Phyllis, My Secret Squirrel
2006 May 4We must perform a QuirkafleegGood Bugs
2005 Apr 25We pick on them because we knowWhile Letting Agencies Do Their Damnedest
2003 Aug 7We sailed on the third of JulyHere Moon, There Another
2004 Feb 27We scaled it downMessages For Sandwichmen
2004 Feb 12We set out, full of hope and ale, one grey December mornGateways Home To Worthing
2001 Aug 20We start our tale outside a German woodNear the Symbolist Palace of Atrocities
2003 Sep 19We tried our darnedests to succeedWeary With Strangely Sprung Happiness
2003 Nov 23We went to sea in a gravy boat one gray autumnal dayBoating Pleasures
2003 Jan 30We were a million strong and growingPeace Comes Drivelling
1997 Jan 3We were always in her debtHoisting Eyeball Three
1997 Mar 30We were down to obsolete zeroLifeless Sheds
2004 Apr 15We who were not bound to rhymeDragonfly With Diamonds
2001 Apr 18We'll try once more before the crashTime Itself
2006 May 29We've gathered together todayLongshoremen Fit Only For Nightmares
1999 Apr 7Weasels ripped my heart outThis Pinteresque Portion
2001 Oct 2Welcome to the conversationMisconduct With Whosoever Chooseth
2003 Jun 18Welcome, fine folks, but please be more attentive!Pickle My Creation
1999 Feb 8Well bless my soul and clean my boots! I've started a new stanzaQuantum Snork Sput Snooting
2004 Jan 13Well! That relief was pretty shortTsunamis Get The Surfers
2003 Oct 10Wetching in the tersome rainHave You Enough Putty?
2003 Dec 22What a strange little boy is Timmy John JonesAbout Buck
1998 Dec 11What an opportunity, what a sheer delight!Ambush Every Closure
2004 Jan 28What are the oddsParsec Progression Beyond
2003 Jul 18What are these glass shards upon the floor?Untitled
2000 May 29What baby spurns the cattle-gridOff Ovary Street
2003 Oct 2What better place than here?Large Enough To Store Time
2002 Nov 29What cloud through yonder window frowns?Swimming for Pilgrims
2002 May 13What dire offence from am'rous causes springsMr Leather Roasted Little Squid
2003 Sep 22What do you want to do with this?Infatuation: The Amusing Conundrum
2003 Sep 27What evil you planning today?In Piles of Half-Burned Pizza
2003 Mar 11What God did on the seventh dayMountainous Piques
1996 Nov 28What I say is seldom what I mean,Frisson
2003 Aug 19What if one swallow does make a summer?Antiproverbial: Aphorisms Redefined
2000 Jun 14What is a thruttock? questioned SamSparklingly Devoid Of Interest
2000 May 24What is that great black bird I see?Is My Navel Growing?
2003 Sep 26What is the matter, my fine-feathered friend?Feathery Fiends
1999 Aug 30What is the point if one lacks the finish ?Tarantula Flakes Ripped my Earlobe
2004 Jan 25What is this evil in our midst?Cheese Pistons Of All Ages
2004 Feb 23What kind of men are these, with beards and balding pates?Pious Hens of Unknowing
2003 Sep 26What kind of tree would you most like to be?Bored Magnolia
2003 Nov 11What makes a lively lunchtimeSeveral Sporting Opportunities For Norwich
2003 Jul 20What of Phaeton, Hyperion, Icarus, the angel Lucifer?Giggling Idols
2004 Jun 17What shall we do today, my dear, where would you like to goAges Rush By, Unremarked By Anyone
2000 Jun 26What sort of dog is this? I hear you askButcher's Lament On Nothing
2003 Nov 24What strange goings-on have there been in this townTale Of Municipal Ribaldry
2004 Jan 18What time does the apocalypse start?End-time Octave
1997 Mar 18What tremor racks my boneless foot?Albert Questions The Benighted Cauliflower
2004 Jan 13What venom lies behind the nameAthens Whose Ruins
2003 Sep 29What will they think of next, those clever clever menConsciousness for Peptides
2003 Aug 20What's that in your pants? Is it something to eat?Bedevil The Faithful
2003 Sep 6Whatcha gonna do when the money runs out?Sister Sarah and the Beef Panic
2003 Aug 1Whatchamacallit and thingamajigPick You What
2003 Jul 23Whatever are you doing, Mr. Trimble?Agog at the Freaks
***2000 Jan 31Whatever happened to darling Denise?Adam's Ballooning Error
2000 Aug 13Whatever happened to summer?Wattle Orb Brie (Summer)
2003 Aug 5Whatever shall we do with your Aunt Sadie?What Boils Soot?
2007 Feb 18Whatever we chooseDesire It
2003 Dec 9When addressing a horse, remember the rule:Etiquette Toward Farm Animals
2004 Nov 9When all seems lost, all hope forlornPacking-case Diagrams
2003 Jul 18When all the world is going madMadness
2003 Dec 8When all the world is still and quietDrawn By The Pencils Of Night
2004 May 17When any lowbrow tunesmith offers notesOversight Of The Acrosticial
2004 May 26When any lowbrow tunesmith offers notesProfit From Jaaaaazzzzzzzz
2001 Oct 8When Apsley dreams of Arabella Spommit,Immer mit Einheit
2000 Apr 10When asked to choose an AntipopeTo The Goatherds
2006 Feb 1When at night I go to sleepTombola Parking
2004 Oct 12When chatty foils reappearCardigan Wildlife Artists
2006 Mar 20When choosing the proper wineAll The Benighted Croutons
2006 Jun 14When cloning pigs or kangaroosComplicated Whimper
2003 Aug 5When composing a poem, one mustPoetry Alloys
2004 Aug 17When coupled with thatIt Might Not Be That Scrap
2000 Mar 16When cuttlefishes congregateBosworth: An Ode
2006 Mar 14When Doomsday comes, where will you be?The Death Wish List
2003 Oct 2When down-and-outs start trading shinsNot Their Fault At All, Really
2000 May 30When Duck and Gerbil went adventuringDuck Soup Stories
2000 Nov 23When ducks and drakes meet late at nightAlways Blithering
1999 Oct 23When Ethelred beheld the axolotlBeneath the Dismembering Sky
2002 Apr 24When first I woke upon this day,Begone! Said The League of Ostriches
2003 Oct 8When flying on a jumbo jetPlutarchs Anthill Blues
2000 Aug 29When Friday rolls eventually aroundAgainst Tintin: Yesterday And Today
2003 Aug 27When Granma discovered my dungeonHeadless Parrots
2002 Jul 18When Granny comes for tea and cakeBeside the Derelict Hat-stand
2003 Jul 23When grinkles with the morgles binkUntold Grinkles do the Zink
2003 Sep 25When halfway through swimming the channelLearned Sea
1999 May 30When Hydrogen confounded ZincZinc Oxide Alarum
1999 Nov 17When I consider ............ no, I can't go onCorking the Windswept Wolves
2002 May 15When I consider how my light is spent,My Helium Pancakes Notwithstanding
2004 Feb 5When I consider what my wife has spentSorry Lament For Gilded Wallets
2007 Feb 14When I fell in love with youHowsomever, Queyntely
2003 Jul 18When I find myself in times of trouble,Paid to End
2003 Sep 20When I get to the bottom, I go back to the topBeatles Stew
2003 Aug 20When I was a lad, I served my timePinaforesque
2001 Sep 13When I was living with an elkOccasionally I Have Fallen Ill
2002 Oct 3When I was old, and on my tongueWheezing Matilda
2003 Nov 23When I was only seventeen, I fell in love with a Gypsy queenThe Allure Is Fortunately Passing
1999 Jan 26When I was walking this I saw:Walk, don't sniffle and you won't get it
2000 Apr 27When I was young and fancy freeMy Undoing
2001 Nov 12When I was young and fancy freeSlice My Sausage Thinly, Samantha
2003 Aug 3When I was young did eagerly frequentFeet Were Walking
2003 Aug 26When I was young, I was terribly poorRich Tarts' Applause
2001 Aug 13When I was young, we had a caveObsoletely and Ignominiously
2004 Apr 19When I went to InvernessAmulets As Fishcakes
2004 Aug 13When I went to the bar as a very young manPerdition In Vitro
2004 Feb 11When JB Priestley, in his bathWandering Socks Found Wanton
2000 Mar 17When Kierkegaard was down-at-heelPhilosophers Lacking Reason
2000 Jan 6When lightning strikes at midnightTry Sucking Your Ear Under Water
2000 May 14When mice attack a quarter-backRamsgate Station (1066)
2003 Jul 18When mummies in their sarcophagiPyramids
2000 May 8When my Doppelganger callsEndlessly Transitory
2007 Jan 5When my friend, Jarvis, called me 'queer'Semolina and its Would-Be Dictionary
2004 Jan 14When nightfall arrives with a purplish glowContempt For Moustaches
1998 Feb 15When nights draw in, and pubs resound with tales of Arthur's deedsThe swarthy Wellington-boot
2002 Apr 11When no Esquimau obtainsCaesar and the Suprise Chicken
2002 Aug 28When nuns collide, then is the timeInfested by Dali Specialists
2001 Oct 5When Nylon paves the way for silkCulling Ear-Trumpets by the Ganges
2006 Jun 16When o'er the willows whipporwillsNight Thoughts
2000 May 16When Ogden Nash ran out of cashEmbezzlement
2006 Jun 29When once I bumped a smallish manThe Caretaker Who Cried Wolf
2003 Oct 19When one would look into your eyeDisease Me
2003 Sep 29When our pets outlive their useThe Progenitors Served Them
2004 Oct 26When packing bags, it's always best to tryUnsubtle Songs And Cowboy Gemstones
2004 Jun 10When pass-the-parcel pallsIn The Seventh Parcel Are Several Businessmen
2003 Nov 7When pigs grow wings and cows speak FrenchThe Frenchified Arrogant
2005 Oct 16When Pinter won the Nobel PrizeUnlikely Caretaker In Kansas
2003 Sep 28When playing a game of poker with some dogsWiggling On Steroids
2002 Nov 21When poets strive against the museBritney's in Purdah
2001 Jun 29When rank delusion soils the mindTooth Drill In Sandwich Town
2003 Aug 28When saturation takes its tollMillipede Stain
2004 Jan 27When shifting the permanent wayWomenfolk Taken Aback
2003 Nov 19When shining shoes, you really mustMisconstruing Hullabalooing
2004 Aug 26When shopping for a pachydermCarry No Weightlifters Aloft
2001 Jul 18When singing to potatoes, the cowboy always stutters;Arctic Charlie
1997 Dec 21When skies are grey, the darkest thoughtThe Bethlehem Magnetometer
2003 Sep 17When Spoonbill went on the blinkAnarchy Pastilles
2003 Aug 19When spoonbilling, always say "boo!"When Sheep Moo
2002 Jan 8When standing on my pantoflesApsley's Gannet!
2003 Aug 18When starting on a masterpieceFlattery of a Goose
2000 Dec 9When Sullivan was just a lad, his father went to seeStroll Across The Pier
1998 Mar 31When syrup happens to congealWitness My Self-important Bitumen
2003 Dec 3When tapdancing down the Champs ElyseesPopcorn Of The French
2000 May 17When teaching Granny to suck eggsMy French Bananas Of Unbounded Magnificence
2002 Mar 14When the last train left the stationNowhere Quickly Pales
2004 Jan 16When the mercury plunges to ungodly lowsShivering With Sharks
2006 Jun 13When the new one comes outConcerto For Nobody And Drum
2004 Feb 17When the pressure on our thinkingPerpetual Hermeneutic Of Girl-Guides
1998 Jan 1When the wallet of the wealthy with fivers stiff is stuffedNarrow Trousers in Pimlico
2006 May 31When they talk about Eau de CologneSimulacra Of The Smaller Variety Found In Brighton
2000 Jan 18When Thoth was King of BermondseyCement Listlessly Poured Upon An Impostor
2000 Sep 17When Time has run its merry danceFondling Benedict: The Groan Matrix
2001 Sep 6When to the summons I brought my fistBrowsing Police
2001 Jun 3When to the summons of a baker's wifeSonnets Lately Despatched
2002 Oct 3When toast-eating poets have eaten their fillThis Lunch-Box of Fate
2003 Oct 16When Uncle Roland came to stayDarling Little Orphans
2003 Aug 4When words cannot conveyMean Words
2003 Aug 22When you look around and realise that naught is what it seemsWhat is Rope?
2003 Nov 12When you met me in the restaurantDreaming Of Bagels And Java
2000 Jul 24When you proposed this concertGuildford, Epping, Tooting
2000 Apr 24When you said you were my friendFelicity Kendall's Lovely Armpits
2003 Aug 5When you see me, pass me byDiesel Pass
2004 Jul 6When you take a taxicab, don't forget to tipForget About Broken Daisies
2003 Nov 6When you trim the hair awayHairpiece
2002 Sep 21When you wish upon a stoatOur Lissom Laureate
2004 Feb 6When You've made all Creation in just seven daysQuestions, Not More
2003 Jun 24When young and old, the old and newCar with Contrast Fetish
1999 Jan 10When your boots are filled with brandyThumbscrews This Time
2002 Mar 22When, in the night, I start to doubtDubious Factory
2000 Apr 27Whenas April with his sweet showersHolding Nigella Lawson's Python
2003 Jul 17Whene'er I see a falling starGentrification is a Giggle
2004 Aug 31Whenever I go for a smokeThe Deepest, Darkest Regions Inside My Colon
2002 Aug 23Whenne that Julye, with its weather bloodieFortissimo Epilogue
2004 Jan 26Where are the songs of yesteryear?Looking Good Backwards
2007 Jan 16Where do they go when they're endedThis Famous Story of Spelling
2004 Jan 2Where has haiku gone?That Otherwise Fruitful Humanity
2003 Aug 3Where have all the guppies gone?Cleaning the Little Weasels
2003 Jul 19Where have our old-timers gone?Foresight in F Minor (Haydn)
2002 Dec 3Where is fester? What is he?Life-Threatening Tuesday Mornings
2003 Nov 24Where was JFK, the evening I was shot?Our Knoll Stroll
1999 Sep 6Where, oh where is the Phantom MenaceHugo Onerous (Episode1)
2004 May 1Which came first, the liver or the wurst?Late Comers To Rollerblades
2000 May 15While blotting my escutcheonFingering Second Every Town
2003 Jul 19While bouncing on a sea of jelloJello Fellow
2003 Jul 18While cycling through the clouds one dayBrief Glimpses of Aqua Nova
2002 Nov 15While editing the alphabetCivic Pyjamas Akimbo
2003 Dec 10While I was panhandling one bright sunny dayAbuse Of Frequent Positivism
1998 Jan 30While I was walking my dog on the moonMusic, Unless...
2006 Sep 20While others stand emptyDemanding Chocolate Money Back
2004 May 18While strutting through the quicksandCalling For A Funicular Tramway Service
2003 Jul 20While surfing on the web one dayBingled
2003 Oct 16While trudging through the swamp let us endeavorSleeping Is Ignorance
2004 Feb 19While you were awayForgive, Offhandedly
2004 Apr 24Whilst figuring out how to untie his shoesLongingly Depend
2003 Oct 17Whilst painting the ceiling, the artist remarked:Incompetence, Incompetence
2004 Mar 9Whilst walking on the darkling pathNothing But Extra Famine
2001 Feb 2Whipping in ocean tides and winds of the Sicak peninsulaThe Truth Beyond Ginger
2003 Aug 7Whirring dials and blinking lightsBees' Buttocks
2003 Sep 10Who ate my doughnuts? I could weepFilling For That Apocalyptic Sandwich
1998 Sep 27Who can fathom the rat's cunning ways?Ode to the Laughter of my Pancreas
2000 Oct 15Who comes to answer Pity's call?Naturally We're Coughing
2006 May 11Who could resist22 Catheters Soaked By Circumstance
2002 Dec 6Who dares cross the line?When the Spanish Attack
2003 Jul 20Who goes there? I hear your stepsDangerous Dancing Sensations
2003 Aug 16Who needs rhetorical questions?Fish Brocade
2002 Dec 9Who pollutes the MusesTendencies (Lapsed)
2000 Nov 25Who predates this predatorArgentina Is Imaginary
2000 Feb 15Who remembers me, Lieutenant Aubergine?Binyon County: The Defective Kite
2004 Jan 28Who welds a poem huger than the grave?Excess Ease Coming
***1997 Dec 28Who were the Bewlay SistersSwimming While Drowned
2003 Dec 5Who will come with me, who will come play?Lament For The Unseen Cake
2004 Oct 11Who will searchHoly Things Always Worry Women
2003 Sep 21Whoremongers, rumormongers, mongers galoreMilkround
2003 Jul 22Whose clothes these are, I think I know,Often Percolate
2000 Jun 13Whose is the hand that eats my head?We Falter, Our Falling Too Facile
2003 Feb 11Why are men so damn complex?Overtures Misunderstood
2002 Apr 12Why can't the wicked inherit the Earth?Nothing Bought With Eurocheques, I Imagine
2004 May 26Why do I sit here, why do I striveHome Time Before Cock-crow
2003 Sep 4Why do people stare at me?A Pointy Neck
2003 Aug 1Why do you chide me when you could ride me?Why you never dared tell the Pope about Mother Hubbard
2003 Nov 20Why do you stare, do you think that I care?Enigma Who Will Someday Prove Secret
2002 Dec 14Why don't we rename Christmas?Having Stacy In Song
1998 Feb 26Why is it so dark in the middle of this life?If Shadows Could Jest
2003 Jul 9Why isn't tomorrowScapegoat Ranchers
2001 Apr 25Why me?Our Only Strawberry
2003 Oct 9Why must you dance the lambada?Dancing the Inevitable
2003 Sep 3Why must you eat the kielbasa?Spooning the Kielbasa Worse Than Me
2003 Jul 19Why must you gargle on the couch?Gargling Troubadours
2003 Oct 31Why must you paint your toenails ruby red?Why Do The Unusual? Why Not!
2003 Jul 18Why must you tinkle in your pants?Untitled
2007 Mar 17Why not howl at Saturn?That Final Catheter
2003 Aug 5Why should I even try to convince youArgument Can't
2003 Feb 7Why should I rationLongings Unknown to Science
2003 Aug 2Why won't you tell meWhy Won't Secrets Reinvigorate our Parakeet?
***1999 Aug 4Why, oh why, oh why, oh why?Quite
2003 Jan 9Why, tell me why, is the future so green?In Lemons
2000 Jan 27Why, when death inheres within the very eggWithin No Feasible Hemisphere
1998 Mar 2Wide eyed and innocent, sheAll Aboard, Airhead!
2003 Aug 4Will Kansas Sam be upset with us when he gets back?Sam
2005 Feb 21Will you be f***ing p***ed if I use asterisks?Still, Inkpots Leave Stains
2003 Aug 28Wine and women, women and songLong Unbidden Melody
2003 Sep 24Wise men have been fooledTumble Driers of Yesteryear
1996 Dec 24Wit of pig and limb of batThe Furnishing Witches, or Lucy's Festive Wager
2004 Jun 27With 'action' just another wordBlackbird Singing With Bluebeard
2000 Feb 1With cogent epigramsAdvertising Plato
2003 Aug 23With faltering steps Alonso reached the summitThe Meatloaf Serenade
2003 Aug 5With operatic splendour did the door-bell sweetly chimeThe Best Guests
2003 Aug 14With sinister speed, they come and goIt's the Spuds' Malevolence
2003 Oct 22With skin as pale as honestyMy Corduroy Mariner, Correspondingly
2005 Nov 14With sorghum, millet, rice and oatsRorschach Fondling
2003 Aug 22With the first light of dawn, the great armies gatherLicks For Kicks
2003 Sep 24Within this life awakeningTime is Our Sinecure
1999 Nov 3Without denying anything muchImplausible Emptiness in Andromeda Parkway
2004 Apr 20Without ever eatingShe Never Even Saw His Noble Bonfire
2002 Nov 27Without my knife and apron,Chutney Feathers
2003 Jun 21Without youIn Time (Full Icebox)
2003 Nov 13Wlatsome words were whisperedWhatever Is When
1997 Feb 8Woodworm! Spare that trayThe Cherry Challenge
2002 Jan 22Woolly mammoth, now unravelledTundra Nightmares
2003 Sep 23Words enfold me, winged thingsMix My Soul with Potions Metaphysical
2003 Aug 19Words to Live ByWords Galore
2003 Jul 24work, my work, i hate my workWork and Home
2003 Aug 15Would you care to dance?Against Spelling
2003 Jul 21Would you care to multiply?Giraffe Shoe Happenstances
2001 Oct 5Would you like to be a Womble?Who to Blame?
2003 Aug 21Would you like to waltz or samba?Horace is What We Like
2004 Mar 30Would you like to wax my floor?Somehow Somewhere Leads Nowhere
2007 Feb 18Wounded and silently broodingVulva Pinxit Hinc
2003 Sep 24Wtih frsit and lsat ltteer in palce, it's siad any wrod can be raedTexted Evolution
2004 Jun 21Yeast admixed with poisoned brineChirping By Other Means
1997 Jul 13Yellowing leaves frame a watery skyFetch Away Fish!
2003 Sep 4Yes, haiku is backPaul never liked peace anyhow
2003 Jul 18Yesterday, all my poetry rhymed beautiflayYesterday Doesn't Go Like This
2004 Sep 14Yield unto me, maiden fresh,Juicy John Chest Unit
2005 Sep 27You - a loan - are the Most High!Any Extreme Prognostication Except
2003 Aug 17You are the very air I breathe, my sustenanceYou Are Choking Me With Gloves On
2003 Jun 30You asked for a list of excuses,Now Repercussions Don't Hibernate
2001 Jun 27You bled the life from out of his home!Vacant possession of Chichester Cathedral (Song Cycles)
1997 May 31You call yourself a YetiHow Met By Legion
2003 Sep 21You can choose to conform, you can choose to rebelBeaming Constipation
2004 Nov 16You can't complainThe Newest Helmet
2004 Jan 12You can't take it with you - or so I've been toldTalisman Testicle
2006 Mar 29You claim that you've heard it beforeTo Dissuade Potential Consumers
2003 Aug 14You do not moo, you do not mooCow Ending
***2000 Jan 18You giants! You, who from this cragA Behavioural Thesis
2003 Sep 22You got a smile so sweet, you coulda been drip glucoseApologies To The Stovepipe Baby
2003 Jul 20You have disrupted my routine, Mrs. FlugleVegetables, Frankly
2003 Jul 24You may think that it's time for a rhymeBut for the Headaches
2003 Sep 30You must, when adding cream to recipesContactual Precautions and Unbecoming Curses
2006 Jan 4You say 'tornado'Clockwork Catechism
2006 Jun 25You shall not fail to summon meTwo Grebes Adrift
2003 Jun 22You shouldn't keep an appleTelling Tales of Mother's Bullseye
2003 Nov 18You stare impassively at the worldGod's Void Devoid
2003 Aug 6You stood tremblingNew Battles for Deceit
2005 Nov 11You think of these as sconesiPods Crafted From Rusting Spanners Or Similar
2003 Jun 23You wouldn't want a cobwebAbandon Malfeasance, My Cobweb Doctor
2003 Jun 18You write sixteen lines, and what do you get?This Goaded Posture
2003 Sep 22You're my special DalekQuicksand in My Tush
2003 Jul 30You've learned to tie your shoelacesThey Multiply
2003 Oct 17You've seen but a few of my numerous failingsReinstate War Fun
2001 Aug 9Young Margaret was a silly girlShe Performed Badly
2003 Dec 15Your babka, I hear, is delicious. Your cheesecake is second to none.Tumbling Over The Sweets
***2000 Mar 20Your bland mosaics, weak and paleDiscredited in Birmingham
2003 Oct 2Your chakra throbs with crystal chiMetamorphosis: You Cave In
2006 Jan 8Your claws, My Dear, are half your charmSuch Conditions As Warrant Swift Kickings By Magistrates
2004 Nov 18Your clone is a much better loverMine Or Not To Be
1998 Mar 17Your cobwebs (your cosmetics)Only Ingrid Soothes This Eyeball
2003 Nov 19Your ears are rather droopyEars Like Quinqueremes
1997 Jan 18Your fossil terrorised our clanArizona's Coptic Rime
2004 Sep 23Your frothy latte burns my tongueSociety Umbrellas
2002 Nov 12Your lack of understandingA New Golem School
2003 Oct 27Your limpet grasp gives me no restLemon Feet
2000 Dec 1Your new line will go here'Destiny', Said Chastity, 'Doesn't Fulfil'
2003 Jul 17Your new line will go hereCosmos Twirls
2004 Sep 9Your putative queen, dear sire, has fled,Drenched In Watery Ends
2004 Feb 21Your valentine was late arriving, the message rather sappyTardy Wishes For Sweethearts And Critics
2000 Mar 18Your words will be remembered through the yearsThe Tribunal of Paradoxes
2003 Nov 20Yup, they cleared the decks againOh! Gosh They've Gone
1996 Sep 5Zernebock howls.Undeniably Awash
2003 Jul 29Zero was an astronautSomething Counts
2001 Jan 9Zoroaster sunnily bestows hisIced Mohicans, Anyone?
2003 Sep 25‘Screech Screech’, screeched the catMy Confession