A man with a prong on his nose

The Spoonbill Generator

A Golden Treasury of Collaborative Verse

Poems completed in 2004


Complete Poems: 1996 - 1997 - 1998 - 1999 - 2000 - 2001 - 2002 - 2003 - 2004 - 2005 - 2006 - 2007

Hall of Fame

TitleFirst line

December
2004 Dec 31Pointless Goodness"The End is near!" the Bellman cried
2004 Dec 24Limblessly EffortlessUp here we no longer have a need . . . for thumbs
2004 Dec 22Albatross, Lie StillHow calmly did th olive branch
2004 Dec 21This Is My Third ThumbPlease release me. Let me go
2004 Dec 17FarfetchedI'll be home for Christmas (alas!)
2004 Dec 17Facile FarewellTaking umbrage, in the Nile,
2004 Dec 16Doubly Formal ZebrasTo hoist a somewhat smaller flag
2004 Dec 15Sidcup Half-rememberedIt's not the custom, nowadays
2004 Dec 14Dickens Saith"A pox upon thee, wretched cur!"
2004 Dec 14Every Third Word Recited Effortlessly (Canticle )"A pox upon thee, wretched cur!"
2004 Dec 11Watery Flapjacks, Damn It!Adam and Eve had reason to grieve
2004 Dec 10The Mean Spirit Inside My FrogToasting bread is rarely easy
2004 Dec 10Towards Our Preordained TenementsAs with so many medicinal jokes
2004 Dec 9Pathos During MoonsetsThis wearisome drought
2004 Dec 9The Hurricane That Tore Our Beloved Condominium From Its Very FoundationBehind the bandstand, when we dared
2004 Dec 9Please Let Us Pronounce Each Syllable BetterOne for the money, two for joy
2004 Dec 9Prone To TautologiesOf sacred cows and catered sows
2004 Dec 8Parts That Require Frequent CalibrationA man once played my didgeridoo
2004 Dec 1Lurching BalloonsPlease release me
2004 Dec 1Thoughts Of The Tedious Old GraybeardsThis bathing cap, whose time-eroded pleats
2004 Nov 30Lunar Love-festWe hear you're taking a trip to the moon
2004 Nov 29Things Are Annoying EverywhereJust take a breath - we'll sort this out
2004 Nov 29Predicated Upon Juvenile IgnoranceThe bishop, in his water-wig
2004 Nov 29Hypothesis EpsilonCome, let us dance, just you and I
2004 Nov 29Visions Of Shouting GreengrocersLast night I had the strangest dream
2004 Nov 25Wenceslas Is Square Enough For MostA revolution, velvet-lined,
2004 Nov 24All Things Can Be Overturned In TimeJoin the dance, you naiads all,
2004 Nov 23Generally Too Much OpulenceHow lithely do these lilliputians leap
2004 Nov 18Envious NeighborsThey say that those who live their lives
2004 Nov 18Mine Or Not To BeYour clone is a much better lover
2004 Nov 18Rediscovered UnchangedChoice apples, red or lilac, I now eat
2004 Nov 17The Approach Of Suicidal RobotsThe telecon went on and on
2004 Nov 16The Newest HelmetYou can't complain
2004 Nov 16Your Stupid Obsession With Unworldly People-CarriersShe whitewashed me into the corner
2004 Nov 14Hittite Words Of UnforgivingA gentleman of oriental character
2004 Nov 9Packing-case DiagramsWhen all seems lost, all hope forlorn
2004 Nov 8Heliotrope SporesIf waking life had time for dreams
2004 Nov 4Zoology Students On HolidayMy cat has six claws on her frontmost two paws
2004 Nov 3In My Long-lost WellingtonsMagnetic fields, an iron horse
2004 Nov 2OK, NaysayerHave you ever rode a Trojan horse?
2004 Nov 1Plane Of PlacentaTribulation, fear and woe
2004 Oct 30Philately TentaclesI'm off – be back by Thursday night
2004 Oct 26Unsubtle Songs And Cowboy GemstonesWhen packing bags, it's always best to try
2004 Oct 26Effortless AbyssCold crustaceans, diving deep,
2004 Oct 25Departures In DisarraySophistry, for those who wait,
2004 Oct 22Massacred By Melting GeologyMy foot is stuck; I cannot move
2004 Oct 22Clucking Behind The Bicycle ShedsCharlie the cheerful chicken
2004 Oct 22Pharyngitis Spells TroubleUnbridled is your sense of fear
2004 Oct 20His Lady GrammarianBabbling as the brook in spate,
2004 Oct 17Compensation By DegreesStrange transmissions, Norah says,
2004 Oct 17Dunciad Of Love-sick HandsTo fetishise her silhouette
2004 Oct 14The Jurisprudence Of Aquatic Creaturesthe egret watched the passing ship
2004 Oct 14When Nagging Seem Treasonous"Love me or leave me," my girlfriend remarked
2004 Oct 13Lest We Forge Biscuits For Orphaned PresidentsMildenhall; I choose to doubt
2004 Oct 12Cardigan Wildlife ArtistsWhen chatty foils reappear
2004 Oct 12Namedroppers' TangoSeveral times you've baked a cake
2004 Oct 11State-side TransmissionsThese distinctions, in the dark,
2004 Oct 11Holy Things Always Worry WomenWho will search
2004 Oct 9Hens Pretend To Bend SpoonsInfestation's not a problem, but the cure!
2004 Oct 8If Kipling Required SatisfactionIf all the buyers faced this way
2004 Oct 8Not Allowed In Our PicnicsA tide of rash assumptions
2004 Oct 6Outlawed HaikuThis secret haven
2004 Oct 5Credible Safe Kill FactorVirus warfare for our times
2004 Oct 5Since We Are Seldom DecodedCaught in cobwebs, smothered by your love
2004 Oct 4Ruinously EnoughAn omission, in the dyke,
2004 Sep 28Criterion For Studiousness In DeathIt was a very shambles
2004 Sep 23Society UmbrellasYour frothy latte burns my tongue
2004 Sep 21Reunions That Plato ForgotSelected for his miseries
2004 Sep 21Nature And Delight Worn OutWe are the Corporation
2004 Sep 19But For Us And ThemCall me a quack
2004 Sep 18The Morsel Of ReasonRare confection - of delight!
2004 Sep 17Epic Oration Looms To StarboardIn time to come, rememb'rance of this hour
2004 Sep 17She-men And Domestic AppliancesIf silence is golden, why won't you be quiet?
2004 Sep 16Lamentations Upon The MorrowI stare into myself, hoping for redress
2004 Sep 16Satanists With No Desire For Pontifical StripesI bought a thing on ebay
2004 Sep 16Stuff Your Turkey And Grab A Second Chance For RedemptionI see you bought a pair of saddle shoes
2004 Sep 16Nothing But The Very Onerous Consumption Of DesireThis rare dark beauty doth my heart inspire
2004 Sep 15Unnecessary Puns As She Grasped Another CupcakeHer eyes are like a cup of tea
2004 Sep 14Not Princeton, Nor Any Other Halls Of ImprovementAs with gladness men of old
2004 Sep 14Juicy John Chest UnitYield unto me, maiden fresh,
2004 Sep 13It Cannot Be The TeapotsShe is in love with the beautiful formlessness of the sea (Sylvia Plath)
2004 Sep 12One Apostate Fieldmouse Alone In All ConjectureIgnorance, in former times
2004 Sep 10Cheery Thoughts About SocietyBiting on a leaden shell, I contemplate my doom
2004 Sep 9When The Final Scone Hovers Above Our Fish-pondPredictably enough
2004 Sep 9Drenched In Watery EndsYour putative queen, dear sire, has fled,
2004 Sep 8The Snowman Assassinated By Fibreglass MittensA limerick written by me
2004 Sep 8Bite-sized Granules Of Compassionate CrunchinessI think she may be going mad
2004 Sep 7Culinary Experts Seldom AgreeAdd some resin to the pulp, and deftly stir:
2004 Sep 7Left Handed And Concealed In Murky AllusionsIs it such a sin to lust
2004 Sep 6Yeats Upon A ToadstoolParsimony of the heavens
2004 Sep 4Blossom On Most Wintry AfternoonsHow blistering your prose, how Jovian your style
2004 Sep 3Sages Of Most Definite HopefulnessBehold!
2004 Sep 2Dice In The Ovens Of RheimsThe early bird, that gets the lion's share
2004 Sep 2Adrift Beyond Our ReckoningThree hobbling blondes
2004 Sep 2There Once Lived Some Rather Odd BabiesIn a poisoned gondola
2004 Sep 1The Things That Are Caramelized By MoonlightImagine there were jungles on the moon
2004 Sep 1Plans For NobodyAndromeda, I cry to thee
2004 Sep 1It Never Raineth On The Holy FoolBack at the beginning
2004 Aug 31The Deepest, Darkest Regions Inside My ColonWhenever I go for a smoke
2004 Aug 31Campaigns Begin Like BladdersThe politican declaimed and avowed
2004 Aug 30Channel The AvuncularMy Uncle says, "The weasel never sings."
2004 Aug 30Addicts Of Various DispositionsWallowing hogs and leaping frogs
2004 Aug 30Travelers That FloatA flibbertigibbet you are, aha!
2004 Aug 27Welcome To The Never-ending SchoolComrade railcar
2004 Aug 27Westwards In Search Of Undiscovered PastriesDespite his utter shabbiness
2004 Aug 27Compulsive Fondling By Men Of GentilityShe checked its lock a dozen times
2004 Aug 27Queen Of The FeathersHer innocence unquestioned, her purity renowned
2004 Aug 27Not What It SeemsBack at the beginning
2004 Aug 27Florizel InclinedHide me, my darling, in your tresses!
2004 Aug 27The Least Suspicious ConcertinaA drooping, stealthful melody
2004 Aug 27Poorly Bohemians After SupperAn escapee from sanity: that's me
2004 Aug 27We Penguins Have Closed Supper Clubs ForeverI'm an escapee from sanity
2004 Aug 27Boot Cramp Without Due CauseBe loyal to your captain, soldier: he was once a man like you
2004 Aug 26They AstrayOn coming home at last
2004 Aug 26Carry No Weightlifters AloftWhen shopping for a pachyderm
2004 Aug 25While Parachutes Descend Upon Unsuspecting ParsonsTo build a good business you must
2004 Aug 25Reaper Without EnvyKaolin
2004 Aug 25Sugary Benisons During WalpurgisnachtIn conclusion, blessed child,
2004 Aug 24Raskolnikov Spotless, Adrift Upon OceansJesuitical was his way
2004 Aug 24Estonian HomonymsThis encroachment, on my lawn,
2004 Aug 23Nuptial Mishaps With Long KnivesA young anthropologist cried
2004 Aug 20Biblical Sheep-dip NonsenseNo more strumpets,
2004 Aug 20Meringue-laden ExclamationsAt this time, most every day,
2004 Aug 20The Operatic LifeI had a fish named Rusty
2004 Aug 19Save Our Dickensian SurrogatesScuttling from clime to clime
2004 Aug 19Friday Night AspirantsAt least it isn't hailing
2004 Aug 18Evidence From Pablum MechanicsIt isn't right, it isn't wrong
2004 Aug 18Through Hooded DreamsShoot off her skin
2004 Aug 17Nomads Are Only Upright HayseedsAffectless nomads
2004 Aug 17Robbers Never Stopped Us Before LunchIt started at quarter to one
2004 Aug 17It Might Not Be That ScrapWhen coupled with that
2004 Aug 16Knighthood For Those In Direst DestitutionI chanced upon a shouting match
2004 Aug 16Those Whose Every Movement CountsI chanced upon a postcard
2004 Aug 14Naughty Thoughts Are Always ParochialHow fetching you look, Miss Sipple
2004 Aug 13Crabbily Dressed For Dancing PartnersTo scuttle through the shallows with my claws stretched wide
2004 Aug 13Perdition In VitroWhen I went to the bar as a very young man
2004 Aug 11Syllabub ProverbsThe lumps one sometimes finds in cream
2004 Aug 11Distant FashionThe tram that passed the Opera
2004 Aug 11Rustic TangentThe taxidermist's holiday
2004 Aug 10Undercover Pastries Lost In SpaceIn every other window
2004 Aug 9Buns Beyond SunsetBreathlessly, you claim to be
2004 Aug 9Fish Remedies For MischiefNot a feather, nor a leaf,
2004 Aug 8Eyeliner How Ever Loosely BentRidicule for penguins only makes them slide
2004 Aug 6Smudge On A TrumpetI'm not even thinking
2004 Aug 5To The Nth DecreeThese brief lines
2004 Aug 5Patience Is Never Compared To HopscotchIs solitaire a virtue?
2004 Aug 4Nightly Coal KimonoThese cosy virtuosi
2004 Jul 30Imminent Destruction Of Everything In PortPassion, closeness and great sex
2004 Jul 30Gloucestershire Throughout Devon'Tis the ebbing of the eyes
2004 Jul 29Dating Twilight GalsPogonophores and Dubliners
2004 Jul 29Bless This Horse With GreatnessThe Gryphon, on his rival page
2004 Jul 27Swedish Substitute For Previously Contaminated DessertSpeciously, you are so fine!
2004 Jul 22Horticultural Adages Designed By Sadistic SchoolmarmsArtichokes stop chasing, when the sunset glows,
2004 Jul 21Taller Despite AppearancesThe short-cuts that Yevgeny likes
2004 Jul 21Dreams Of Soup KitchensA mile or so beyond
2004 Jul 19Disco InfernalAnnie Lennox drove my car
2004 Jul 19Beep RoadMy dear, have you lost your panache?
2004 Jul 18America Next Thursday Or ThereaboutsThou old, unruly turban
2004 Jul 16Tennis Balls Striking Us ForciblyI never will get over
2004 Jul 14Fail By Then If NeverCalisthenic ribaldry shall not win you the prize!
2004 Jul 14Each Weary WelcomingTo redefine our clique
2004 Jul 14The Zimmer-frame SocietyEmblematic? Regal? Or a waste of space,
2004 Jul 13Zeppelin Without PageSaid Benk, the lusty bear,
2004 Jul 13Weather-vane WarningBehind the grizzled pine
2004 Jul 13Glaswegians In Time-share BodiesOn a hilltop, left of Rheims,
2004 Jul 12Tea-room TrumperyCatachresis in the crypt
2004 Jul 9Hideum CatBanalities, encountered twice,
2004 Jul 9North-east Is Henceforth BanishedA globe for tea, crammed high with brine,
2004 Jul 9Believe What You Will But Doubt Nothing Excepting YourselfLittle boys with little toys
2004 Jul 9Staff Barbecue For Hygienic ElvesPleonastic bunkers that the empire built
2004 Jul 9Sailor Marinated In NovemberPleiades in yonder sky
2004 Jul 8The Parliamentary Parsley SupplierPeel an onion? - for a jape?
2004 Jul 8Purse MapsIn the second shopping-trolley
2004 Jul 7Sediment Flying In From The AirfieldTen more miles and we'll be home
2004 Jul 7Lighthouse MagicIt came upon the midnight clear
2004 Jul 7Prosperity Falters If Poverty Persists Beyond The BreadlineMeathook
2004 Jul 7The Right Lunar Terrace ConceptThese pronouncements, from the moon, were made in dead of night:
2004 Jul 7Tin-openers Practising What?Meander into Shropshire, in the old MG,
2004 Jul 6We Never Boycott OversightsGot a nice new jersey
2004 Jul 6The Fragile SteelSo easy to upset her
2004 Jul 6Forget About Broken DaisiesWhen you take a taxicab, don't forget to tip
2004 Jul 5Who Knows More Than Folk?To yield without coercion
2004 Jul 2The Denouement Of VermicelliThe blank screen gazes remorselessly back
2004 Jul 2The Tale Of Squabbling ArchangelsAt first, it seemed an ordinary day
2004 Jul 2Only Fools RushOnly a rose
2004 Jul 2Domestic MeltdownThe problem is easy to see
2004 Jul 2Danish PolkaBruno's head, a perfect sphere
2004 Jul 2The Universe Eyed From The Back RowLeonardo da Vinci
2004 Jul 1Defenestrating Our Noisome EntertainersBeckham, Rooney, Owen and Scholes
2004 Jul 1My Cardboard MotherDressing as a helicopter
2004 Jun 30Maidens Irritated When Their Purity Runs OutA thesaurus was stoned to death, a diction'ry was raped,
2004 Jun 30If If Why When How WhoBig Brother watches the housemates perform
2004 Jun 29The Fourth Alibi From The LeftOh blessed fragment of the foam
2004 Jun 27The Braunschmidt TransponderPalimpsest of things divine
2004 Jun 27Blackbird Singing With BluebeardWith 'action' just another word
2004 Jun 26M 32 Road MovieThese old molluscs, bought for tea, inscribe
2004 Jun 25Thistle Bow And SawThis poem will be highbrow and clean as a whistle
2004 Jun 25The Kiss CabinThis mouth of salt
2004 Jun 25Subliminal Telemetry WastedA muse might amuse us
2004 Jun 25Each Dainty Ballerina And Her Imaginary PilchardThis happy nest has made me cry
2004 Jun 24Unworthy Of ScornThis invention makes me sick!
2004 Jun 24Deaf Though They Be DubbedBehold the spineless fossil
2004 Jun 24Cutlery At NoonSilent in the dinner-queue
2004 Jun 23Singing For Our Tea In CA whipping-boy
2004 Jun 22A Very Lodestone'A Fiery Flying Roll', you claim
2004 Jun 22Lotteries Bring Us Little SnowdropsDivest yourself of all your wealth!
2004 Jun 22Haddock FramingI berate you for infecting
2004 Jun 21Chirping By Other MeansYeast admixed with poisoned brine
2004 Jun 21Seegarten Tour For WitsIf it's standing-room only
2004 Jun 20Grid Of Life ExpectantThe weight of expectation is pressing on my brain
2004 Jun 18Forswear CourageHollie was a hostage
2004 Jun 17Ages Rush By, Unremarked By AnyoneWhat shall we do today, my dear, where would you like to go
2004 Jun 16Nothing More Tangible For HillmenReticence, the virtue of the fool
2004 Jun 16Stewed Sea-weed, Nothing MorePip, as a boy, the marshes trod
2004 Jun 16In Our Wintry OrganTo prime one's seventh armpit
2004 Jun 14Palomar MentorsGot Venus in my Transit
2004 Jun 10In The Seventh Parcel Are Several BusinessmenWhen pass-the-parcel palls
2004 Jun 3Bailiff Only BecauseBeyond the reach of kettle-leads
2004 Jun 3Quenching Their Papyrus Of FilthSaratoga springs eternal
2004 Jun 2Dunciad Variorum'Twas Pope who wrote that angels fear
2004 Jun 2Intensify The Passion For OphthalmologyBigfoot saw the racehorse
2004 Jun 2Oftentimes Manet Tried Somersaulting Over RenoirLanky Hank was the tallest of Sherpas
2004 Jun 2Afternoon Delight Until MiddayCity slickers in the sunlight
2004 Jun 1Raindrops Keep Dripping On The PhotoshootAtop the hill the castle stood
2004 Jun 1Sing Soprano Like They're SniffingA venerated halibut consecrated mass
2004 Jun 1Wordsworth's IntentionOn viewing Chloe's coccyx
2004 Jun 1Nepalese Danceuse Observed Using Stun-gunsBehold the scold:
2004 May 29Banished From Man's EarsTo cudgel, to cajole
2004 May 29Cautionary Tales For Young HotshotsHow many times must I tell you?
2004 May 28Hanging Trout Fancying GrandmothersI dropped it down the wishing well
2004 May 28Desist, Whoreson Knave, Lest Great Cudgellings Befall TheeTo count the rings of Saturn
2004 May 28Attraction Determined By InquestHe took her down a leafy lane
2004 May 27Aspirated Eyeball, Innit?It started with a glottal stop
2004 May 27Keeping Her Through IgnoranceLet's not expect the moon
2004 May 27After Backward CauseAn adman amiably asserted
2004 May 26Profit From JaaaaazzzzzzzzWhen any lowbrow tunesmith offers notes
2004 May 26Home Time Before Cock-crowWhy do I sit here, why do I strive
2004 May 25Adjectives On SteroidsSo sullen was he, in his melancholy wistfulness,
2004 May 25Today's Not LikelyPardon my haste - I really must dash
2004 May 25Rubbish-tip TopThe moving pencil writes and, having writ, it breaks
2004 May 25Ellis InlandOh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light
2004 May 24Circus AccountantsDreary, dreary dogs
2004 May 24Meaty Beaty Big And BonsaiSausage, when the time is right
2004 May 21Semaphore Statements Issued In UrduLet's keep this one simple
2004 May 21Seven Seasons In RedWas it for this that I sold all my children?
2004 May 21We Flee Toward The Far JourneyIt is time, I think we'd all agree,
2004 May 18Calling For A Funicular Tramway ServiceWhile strutting through the quicksand
2004 May 18The Very OuchPut me through the paper shredder
2004 May 18We Sold Our Restaurants In CyprusUpanishads and Vedic verse
2004 May 17Pork Beam CustardPalpably encoded in the Turing mould
2004 May 17Upstream CandidateHe was singing in Dutch
2004 May 17Wasted NeedleworkHarrumph, I say
2004 May 17Oversight Of The AcrosticialWhen any lowbrow tunesmith offers notes
2004 May 13Lest We Forgive Without ForgettingFor the gloom that follows fire
2004 May 13Better Lettuce ForthcomingAs the orders start to dry
2004 May 12Motherhood In The PastureDiapering tushies is really a bummer
2004 May 11Zarathustra Lurking In The Out-trayColossal, in a home-made hat
2004 May 10Shelley: Drowning Was EnoughThe weight of any bantam
2004 May 10Trios YetNo I never joined in
2004 May 9Surprise DentistryAt a quarter past one on the fifteenth of May
2004 May 8Thwarted By OccamDon't invade us till the dawn,
2004 May 7Liquid Never FlinchesSo plaintively you ask if this
2004 May 7Carbohydrate Counts Against Each MouthfulThe problem of a bee city
2004 May 1Late Comers To RollerbladesWhich came first, the liver or the wurst?
2004 May 1More Coal Please. VicarShe's known as Nell, down in Camberwell
2004 Apr 29Sausages Stitched LengthwaysThe rats climbed on the rising ship
2004 Apr 29Ghastly AppendagesOh, it's all quite ghastly
2004 Apr 29Marmots Roam Willy-nilly Across Naked And Glistening TundrasMake love to me as if you'd spent
2004 Apr 29Nuns Betray Our Laxative SuppliesIncantations - dead of night -
2004 Apr 28Unsettled DirectionsFrom the Baltic, travel North
2004 Apr 26Bayonets Programmed To TwirlScarcely welcome though she was
2004 Apr 26Looking Lively And Feeling CrapCan this be it? Can Spring be here?
2004 Apr 25My Slide TransmissionAnother Red poem commences
2004 Apr 24Brigade Of BillabongsIn conclusion, Speckled Jim
2004 Apr 24Longingly DependWhilst figuring out how to untie his shoes
2004 Apr 24Piquant HostessesBowls of mustard lined the hall
2004 Apr 23Iconoclasts Rarely Gain Entry To DisneylandBreaking down barriers and opening doors
2004 Apr 20Upstream Into CamberwellSo clumsy, so clumsy
2004 Apr 20She Never Even Saw His Noble BonfireWithout ever eating
2004 Apr 20Spoon ReceiptSuch is the demon's lot
2004 Apr 19Chesse-topped MinstrelsThis diversion - to the moon! -
2004 Apr 19Amulets As FishcakesWhen I went to Inverness
2004 Apr 18Nursery Rhymes for Lawyers, Juries and JudgesArnold Berry, quite contrary,
2004 Apr 15The Danish WordThe lonely Swedish man
2004 Apr 15Beard RecognitionsFriends reunited
2004 Apr 15Dragonfly With DiamondsWe who were not bound to rhyme
2004 Apr 15Businessman In Loose FlannelsWatch out for my claim
2004 Apr 14Brief Lives Last SundayPeople from Purley like getting up early
2004 Apr 14Who Dares GrinsBefore expiring, Genghis said:
2004 Apr 11Soprano And UnderSurrendering to something
2004 Apr 2Faithful Enough Before LunchAt the age of thirty-seven
2004 Apr 2Canine BearingDespite this aberration, sir
2004 Apr 2Gathering Clouds While Visigoths CircleLet me be the first to say, it's nice to have you back
2004 Apr 2Bureaucracy Marks The PedestriansIf filling in forms engenders dismay, tick box 'A'
2004 Apr 1Attention: Recurring DecimalPoor Jones got hanged - and yet I know 'twas
2004 Mar 31Onwards, Henrietta DawsonI carry Hank, my freeze-dried hake,
2004 Mar 31Hammerklavier, DissonantlyThe late sonatas on a lute?
2004 Mar 31Tales Of Someone Taller Than ExpectedTell me, O Wanderer, whom do you seek?
2004 Mar 30Hen Pectoral CommemoratedSuffolk Asian – who would choose
2004 Mar 30Somehow Somewhere Leads NowhereWould you like to wax my floor?
2004 Mar 30Rites For Responsible RaisinsMy cummerbund was missing
2004 Mar 30To Heroic BakeryCrumpets, muffins and baguettes
2004 Mar 29Extraterrestrial, Improperly AlignedThe cookbook used by Dr Who
2004 Mar 26Otherworldly Newsagent With Or Without CroutonsA surgeon addicted to soup
2004 Mar 25Cardinal In ErrorA pepperoni sandwich from the Pope
2004 Mar 24Marrows AwayThis choice of relish was not of the best,
2004 Mar 24Milk ManoeuvresFree, with every Guernsey cow
2004 Mar 23Vladimir's Looted Me CarrotSilently clutching his kite,
2004 Mar 23Subtle With Hotdogs'Here are the gum-boots you ordered, madam!'
2004 Mar 23Peptic UlsterLater than the final hour
2004 Mar 23Refusenik Attitudes Long Considered PasséIs that your usual tone of voice?
2004 Mar 22Several Chemistry SetsBromide in the afternoon
2004 Mar 22Before Cows Were ChicThey say you're no good
2004 Mar 19Collaborating, SupposedlyTo polevault, or to stay in bed?
2004 Mar 19Only Once Is More Than Twice Times TwoGive me the pen and invisible ink, and I'll write my life story for you
2004 Mar 19After LessonsHow to explain this shocking situation
2004 Mar 18Doves, Couples, Quarks, ExigenciesGive me the pen and invisible ink, and I'll write my life story for you
2004 Mar 18Custom Paintwork JobsGood citizens, attend this moral tale
2004 Mar 18Proved Once, Baked TwiceUnshockable, the bailiff's urge
2004 Mar 16Because I Am Seesawing"Why do you carry hamsters in your pockets?" demanded Mrs. Pringle
2004 Mar 16To Your Abiding ToadstoolsA granite sheet does not get crumpled,
2004 Mar 16Relying On Our Native Discretion 
2004 Mar 12Frauds? YesLet us now praise famous men
2004 Mar 12Beyond Her Final FineryMow the news is out
2004 Mar 12Away Game VoyeurismPeople are bloody ignorant apes!
2004 Mar 10Alternative WillTell me Doc - I've got to know
2004 Mar 9Nothing But Extra FamineWhilst walking on the darkling path
2004 Mar 8A Mile Beyond The World May Be A MaidenCongealing in a fusty box
2004 Mar 5Punctuated ParsimonyThere' s no use whining
2004 Mar 5Balderdash BrevityHere's an ode to hogwash - to tripe and pure baloney
2004 Mar 4It's Unoffically Denied Until ProvenNow the news is out,
2004 Mar 3Musical Accomplishments Involving Instruments Of ZincIt's fine to play the didgeridoo, but please not in the office loo
2004 Mar 3Middle VictorianThe generals are born again
2004 Mar 3Diffused By Brilliant CloudsI wandered lonely as a nerd
2004 Mar 2To Strive For Dizzying PerfectionTo get into the Hall of Fame
2004 Mar 1My Aunt's Astonished ParakeetRepetition twenty-fold is what I really crave
2004 Mar 1Surprise Me LessThe trunk in the attic held something amazing
2004 Feb 29The Birdbath EmbargoHere in Munich's age-old centre
2004 Feb 27Messages For SandwichmenWe scaled it down
2004 Feb 25All My Cousins, SurelyGoatish hovels - for the poor?
2004 Feb 25Near Creepy Cow LaneThe last time I polkaed with Ted
2004 Feb 24Who Drank My Sorbet?Blend one part soot and two parts salt
2004 Feb 24Whence Cometh Our Whelp With Its Peculiar Outlook?It's not just the hole in the dyke
2004 Feb 23No, Angels Shouldn'tTo cling, once more, to selfsame forms
2004 Feb 23Pious Hens of UnknowingWhat kind of men are these, with beards and balding pates?
2004 Feb 22Harvested From Unsavoury PulpitsOnly a man.
2004 Feb 22Clandestine Openings Like ThatMeet me in the arboretum
2004 Feb 21Tardy Wishes For Sweethearts And CriticsYour valentine was late arriving, the message rather sappy
2004 Feb 20How Can It Be Moss If It Grows Faster?O sober reflection
2004 Feb 20Flawed InheritanceAgnes played the cymbals, three nights a week
2004 Feb 19Crybaby Number Nine (1967)The lonely hearts in Sgt. Pepper's Band
2004 Feb 19Forgive, OffhandedlyWhile you were away
2004 Feb 19Sometimes Enough Makes SenseThe trampled multitude are free -
2004 Feb 18The Great RoarThe lion's the king of the beasts
2004 Feb 18Doom Dealt DeftlyThe djinn that made me sneeze
2004 Feb 17Perpetual Hermeneutic Of Girl-GuidesWhen the pressure on our thinking
2004 Feb 17Composers In The GroundJust say "Baroque" and choral hymns
2004 Feb 17Habits Of Old Liberals Foregone"devolve prolific coconut" advised the sophic spam
2004 Feb 16Once Lithuania, OnceIn a cave, on a mountain so high
2004 Feb 15Unblinking AgainAtop my desk, her portrait stared
2004 Feb 13Harvest Me Gently YetThere's many pheasant pluckers farm life's field
2004 Feb 13Dangerously We Fly"What is your destination, child?
2004 Feb 13Martyrs To The Biscuit GuardiansThe bilemonger's bill
2004 Feb 13I Won't Be Flying Anywhere Near BasildonThere's time enough for changing sides
2004 Feb 12Gateways Home To WorthingWe set out, full of hope and ale, one grey December morn
2004 Feb 11Wandering Socks Found WantonWhen JB Priestley, in his bath
2004 Feb 10Baltic BangDo not go gently into that goodnight
2004 Feb 10Those Poor Breakdancing TripletsThe birth canal has many locks
2004 Feb 10Even Duplication FactorsSay hello to Chutney Spears
2004 Feb 10The Better To Infiltrate Someone's AffectionsI never saw you in a dream
2004 Feb 8The Oast-House SymposiumIt moves an inch a minute
2004 Feb 6Questions, Not MoreWhen You've made all Creation in just seven days
2004 Feb 5Wresting Joy From Daily PicklesA pickle I wanted, and yet that darn lid
2004 Feb 5Sorry Lament For Gilded WalletsWhen I consider what my wife has spent
2004 Feb 5Concealed In Plain LeatherOf all the nights I've spent abroad
2004 Feb 5Two Hands Forwards, Two Peas BackwardsOnce upon a noontime cheery, as I daydreamed hale and hearty,
2004 Feb 5Farewell, MutinyCease to sway
2004 Feb 4Destiny For My King Of HastingsOne day, while I was walking
2004 Feb 4Rebel Angels, Mountain DanceLabouring dismally under a sky
2004 Feb 4Borders For Uncle Monk'Quite a clump,' he summarised
2004 Feb 3Jelly-Babies Prefer Jelly-ParentsDr Who once gave me candy-floss to eat
2004 Feb 3Caspar CagedA puma won't return the gaze of Rilke
2004 Feb 3Further Epsom SaltsHow far can we fall
2004 Feb 3All That BlistersHave more wine and honey, darling,
2004 Feb 2Pale Mutabilities Of Death In WalesForget them all, their necks, their eyes
2004 Feb 2A Plurality Because Of Our NauseaLet's not forget the little ones
2004 Feb 1Flight Recorder In MinkShocked by his failure to fly,
2004 Jan 30Traditionally Devoted To Artificial PunctuationsHere in Freud's kettle
2004 Jan 30Balletic TropismThe crutch on which you make your way
2004 Jan 30Baroness ButtercupOh, innocents, listen in time
2004 Jan 29Frugal Jars Of Mine Filled With Other PigletsIt's a glossary, they claim,
2004 Jan 29440 FoursomeThree down redoubled, 1000 away
2004 Jan 29Semicolon FailingsThe scarlet letter, none too soon
2004 Jan 29Mayoral Heart-throbsA burst of poignant doctrine
2004 Jan 29Evening Along Its Transverse AxisThis caustic little ditty
2004 Jan 28Parsec Progression BeyondWhat are the odds
2004 Jan 28My Toe Is Now Swollen AgainThat fellow, Othello, could not be called mellow
2004 Jan 28Hamlet With FishMy chronic youth would soon speed past
2004 Jan 28Thesis For A Standard TextSaid the shaman to the showman
2004 Jan 28Of Sailors And Their WaysI'll tell you the tale of ham-handed Hannah
2004 Jan 28Excess Ease ComingWho welds a poem huger than the grave?
2004 Jan 27If The Janitor, When Juggling...Gorris!
2004 Jan 27Womenfolk Taken AbackWhen shifting the permanent way
2004 Jan 27Mops Our Fevered Explorer Cannot DisplaySo... slate wiped clean, whereto from here?
2004 Jan 26Argument For ExceptionsA new bordello - civic, clean - is what Wisconsin needs
2004 Jan 26Won't You, Suzanne?I read the rules with some concern
2004 Jan 26Each Syllable Concocted By BuddhistsThe pulse that beats within a flea
2004 Jan 26Looking Good BackwardsWhere are the songs of yesteryear?
2004 Jan 26Well-wisher's BrideThe grandpaternity suit
2004 Jan 25Implacable Northerly PadrésCompetition in other places
2004 Jan 25Little Holly Sat Upon HerI'm the only gay in the village
2004 Jan 25Cheese Pistons Of All AgesWhat is this evil in our midst?
2004 Jan 25Rural ConsternationMy sister's just ripped a tractor in two
2004 Jan 24The Rite For Pipkin BreezesIf I could dance like Fred Austere
2004 Jan 24Beaten FluffyI took my bitch to get her shaved on Park Lane yesterday
2004 Jan 24Paternity Proves NothingCrayfish, lobster, crab
2004 Jan 24Benedictine Evening DressesPoetic mis'ry in a name?
2004 Jan 23Bootblack Hatrack KnickknackThere are so many words that rhyme with "whack":
2004 Jan 22Porcine Tales By GranddaddyI've got a brand new bathroom
2004 Jan 22Arthur Sucking Cough DropsShall I start a new poem or will it get trashed?
2004 Jan 22The Cork CoffinsThis message to the nearly dead
2004 Jan 22Forever The Syntax OmeletteThe gas oven sings a sweet song to my leadened seratonin
2004 Jan 22Phoebe Married The WarmongerSmell my squirty button-hole
2004 Jan 22Omicron FroatMy usual muse has gone for good
2004 Jan 21The Comma Which CausesLet's desist, this time, from writing trash,
2004 Jan 21The Dimmer-Switch DiseaseJeeze, I can't find my knees
2004 Jan 21Ut Nicotinum Ad Adorum NescientumThe rattle of toys being hurled out of prams
2004 Jan 20Alexander's Shadow Ring-pullTake five, my little feathered friends
2004 Jan 20Nothing Will Prevail After The NeutrinoI think to make a piece of toast
2004 Jan 20Impasto Throughout AustralasiaMy wife is nibbling at my neck
2004 Jan 20Bleak HousingTen to a bed, the children slept
2004 Jan 20Whom To Enchant?Be glad that Wall Street's closed today
2004 Jan 20Despite Differences In Our NecktiesJudicious pruning - of a bush -
2004 Jan 19The Everlasting PetsMy cat is too fat
2004 Jan 18End-time OctaveWhat time does the apocalypse start?
2004 Jan 18Oompah TubaI hear you like to polka with clubfooted gals
2004 Jan 17Weekend Sorrows Melt In AleHappy birthday, Kimberley, let's head off to the bar
2004 Jan 17Laundanum Language'Ulalume, ulalume,' said Edgar Allan Poe
2004 Jan 17The Georgian SilhouettesDo not single out the fat for taking too much space
2004 Jan 17Madwoman, Me?She's come undone--her valium useless as mythical gods
2004 Jan 16Sector Vector EjectorIn this one thing all others meet
2004 Jan 16Shivering With SharksWhen the mercury plunges to ungodly lows
2004 Jan 16With Our Dentures Firmly Detached For Whitsuntide'Mr Spaceman, can't I travel,
2004 Jan 16Drastic Therapy For TwoThere hast never been a thing more shiny
2004 Jan 15Anatomical ChapsVesalius, whose scalpel bright
2004 Jan 15Non-invasive SkinsA poem without the same old format
2004 Jan 15Reversed In The Wash Of FortuneCorporation. There we go
2004 Jan 14Leadership Fails TurtlesHe used to be, so rumor has, the Dean of Men at Alcatraz
2004 Jan 14Tugged UpAll is quiet; my morning cup of tea is steaming in my hands
2004 Jan 14Wetnurse BurdensI was hired to breastfeed his pups
2004 Jan 14Frequency Of Dinner JacketsI did not think a coddled egg
2004 Jan 14Contempt For MoustachesWhen nightfall arrives with a purplish glow
2004 Jan 14Prefaces Are LovelyLet us be pretentious, erudite, utilizing abstruse references, esoterica
2004 Jan 14Yeah, Wow, Gollly, Gee, Gasp, Yep, Indeedy, ShucksCome on baby, let's
2004 Jan 14Tabletop HeirsI've never hit a man I didn't like
2004 Jan 13Tsunamis Get The SurfersWell! That relief was pretty short
2004 Jan 13Athens Whose RuinsWhat venom lies behind the name
2004 Jan 12Talisman TesticleYou can't take it with you - or so I've been told
2004 Jan 12Quietude Is SurrenderAll is quiet; my morning cup of tea is steaming in my hands
2004 Jan 12Snow WheelsTo those who'd venture off the brink, atop a fold-up scooter,
2004 Jan 12Imbibe This PageI don't drinke vodka, only ginne -
2004 Jan 11Forgotten Blips Of The Ages NeolithicAll I crave is a little attention
2004 Jan 11His Own Lewd VespersMy penchant's mathematical
2004 Jan 10Allowing Rembrandt His Fish SupperBetween the pilot and the prow
2004 Jan 9Otherworldly Stuff By BobQuentin Tarantino
2004 Jan 9Invaders From Rabbit-holes, Snout FirstMars is being explored--and wow, are we excited!
2004 Jan 9Attempted Assassination During EvensongRather than conferring shame
2004 Jan 9Möbius DancingA cannon-ball into the pool
2004 Jan 8The Giant Eyes Of FriendshipDon't take offence at what I say,
2004 Jan 8Devoured By TrousersShut tight as a clam, not to be pried by any mere woman
2004 Jan 7Gums And TonguesOut, fry of lechery?
2004 Jan 7Despite ThemselvesCaptain Mesmer brought me 'round
2004 Jan 7The UnkemptHer face was blanched, her eyes aglow; the sky was gauzy, rent
2004 Jan 7A Wishlist For ClambakesI hear that sluts from Milwaukee
2004 Jan 6Clichés Usually Reserved For Sensitive SoulsThe winter sun broke through the trees, to shine upon the meadow
2004 Jan 4Betokening BitternessLove, shmov--I'm jaded now
2004 Jan 4Without Looking Twice"Wherefore honkest thou," said I, "although in neighing guise?"
2004 Jan 3Nipple TussockI did it for the sake of her
2004 Jan 3Cocker MouthwashA pot of glue left me unstuck
2004 Jan 3On A String Covered OttomanMistaken for a crayfish
2004 Jan 3Avoid The DossierThis page is discontinued
2004 Jan 2That Otherwise Fruitful HumanityWhere has haiku gone?
2004 Jan 1Prejudices Coming To Your Local Works CanteenSaid aged King Lear
2004 Jan 1Hake SproutsMy sister, Sue, has several suitors

This page was last modified by Peter Christian, November 11 2009.