The Spoonbill Generator ArchiveA Golden Treasury of Collaborative Verse, 1996–2007 | |
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Poems by Year: 1996 -
1997 -
1998 -
1999 -
2000 -
2001 -
2002 -
2003 -
2004 -
2005 -
2006 -
2007 *** Hall of Fame — Alphabetical List of Titles — Index of First Lines — Poems by Colour | |
|
Poems completed in 2004 | |||
Title | First line | ||
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Poems open in a new window | |||
January | |||
2004 Jan 1 | Prejudices Coming To Your Local Works Canteen | Said aged King Lear | |
2004 Jan 1 | Hake Sprouts | My sister, Sue, has several suitors | |
2004 Jan 2 | That Otherwise Fruitful Humanity | Where has haiku gone? | |
2004 Jan 3 | Nipple Tussock | I did it for the sake of her | |
2004 Jan 3 | Cocker Mouthwash | A pot of glue left me unstuck | |
2004 Jan 3 | On A String Covered Ottoman | Mistaken for a crayfish | |
2004 Jan 3 | Avoid The Dossier | This page is discontinued | |
2004 Jan 4 | Betokening Bitterness | Love, shmov--I'm jaded now | |
2004 Jan 4 | Without Looking Twice | "Wherefore honkest thou," said I, "although in neighing guise?" | |
2004 Jan 6 | Clichés Usually Reserved For Sensitive Souls | The winter sun broke through the trees, to shine upon the meadow | |
2004 Jan 7 | Gums And Tongues | Out, fry of lechery? | |
2004 Jan 7 | Despite Themselves | Captain Mesmer brought me 'round | |
2004 Jan 7 | The Unkempt | Her face was blanched, her eyes aglow; the sky was gauzy, rent | |
2004 Jan 7 | A Wishlist For Clambakes | I hear that sluts from Milwaukee | |
2004 Jan 8 | The Giant Eyes Of Friendship | Don't take offence at what I say, | |
2004 Jan 8 | Devoured By Trousers | Shut tight as a clam, not to be pried by any mere woman | |
2004 Jan 9 | Möbius Dancing | A cannon-ball into the pool | |
2004 Jan 9 | Attempted Assassination During Evensong | Rather than conferring shame | |
2004 Jan 9 | Invaders From Rabbit-holes, Snout First | Mars is being explored--and wow, are we excited! | |
2004 Jan 9 | Otherworldly Stuff By Bob | Quentin Tarantino | |
2004 Jan 10 | Allowing Rembrandt His Fish Supper | Between the pilot and the prow | |
2004 Jan 11 | Forgotten Blips Of The Ages Neolithic | All I crave is a little attention | |
2004 Jan 11 | His Own Lewd Vespers | My penchant's mathematical | |
2004 Jan 12 | Imbibe This Page | I don't drinke vodka, only ginne - | |
2004 Jan 12 | Snow Wheels | To those who'd venture off the brink, atop a fold-up scooter, | |
2004 Jan 12 | Quietude Is Surrender | All is quiet; my morning cup of tea is steaming in my hands | |
2004 Jan 12 | Talisman Testicle | You can't take it with you - or so I've been told | |
2004 Jan 13 | Tsunamis Get The Surfers | Well! That relief was pretty short | |
2004 Jan 13 | Athens Whose Ruins | What venom lies behind the name | |
2004 Jan 14 | Tabletop Heirs | I've never hit a man I didn't like | |
2004 Jan 14 | Yeah, Wow, Gollly, Gee, Gasp, Yep, Indeedy, Shucks | Come on baby, let's | |
2004 Jan 14 | Prefaces Are Lovely | Let us be pretentious, erudite, utilizing abstruse references, esoterica | |
2004 Jan 14 | Contempt For Moustaches | When nightfall arrives with a purplish glow | |
2004 Jan 14 | Frequency Of Dinner Jackets | I did not think a coddled egg | |
2004 Jan 14 | Wetnurse Burdens | I was hired to breastfeed his pups | |
2004 Jan 14 | Tugged Up | All is quiet; my morning cup of tea is steaming in my hands | |
2004 Jan 14 | Leadership Fails Turtles | He used to be, so rumor has, the Dean of Men at Alcatraz | |
2004 Jan 15 | Anatomical Chaps | Vesalius, whose scalpel bright | |
2004 Jan 15 | Non-invasive Skins | A poem without the same old format | |
2004 Jan 15 | Reversed In The Wash Of Fortune | Corporation. There we go | |
2004 Jan 16 | Drastic Therapy For Two | There hast never been a thing more shiny | |
2004 Jan 16 | With Our Dentures Firmly Detached For Whitsuntide | 'Mr Spaceman, can't I travel, | |
2004 Jan 16 | Shivering With Sharks | When the mercury plunges to ungodly lows | |
2004 Jan 16 | Sector Vector Ejector | In this one thing all others meet | |
2004 Jan 17 | Weekend Sorrows Melt In Ale | Happy birthday, Kimberley, let's head off to the bar | |
2004 Jan 17 | Laundanum Language | 'Ulalume, ulalume,' said Edgar Allan Poe | |
2004 Jan 17 | The Georgian Silhouettes | Do not single out the fat for taking too much space | |
2004 Jan 17 | Madwoman, Me? | She's come undone--her valium useless as mythical gods | |
2004 Jan 18 | Oompah Tuba | I hear you like to polka with clubfooted gals | |
2004 Jan 18 | End-time Octave | What time does the apocalypse start? | |
2004 Jan 19 | The Everlasting Pets | My cat is too fat | |
2004 Jan 20 | Despite Differences In Our Neckties | Judicious pruning - of a bush - | |
2004 Jan 20 | Whom To Enchant? | Be glad that Wall Street's closed today | |
2004 Jan 20 | Bleak Housing | Ten to a bed, the children slept | |
2004 Jan 20 | Impasto Throughout Australasia | My wife is nibbling at my neck | |
2004 Jan 20 | Nothing Will Prevail After The Neutrino | I think to make a piece of toast | |
2004 Jan 20 | Alexander's Shadow Ring-pull | Take five, my little feathered friends | |
2004 Jan 21 | The Comma Which Causes | Let's desist, this time, from writing trash, | |
2004 Jan 21 | The Dimmer-Switch Disease | Jeeze, I can't find my knees | |
2004 Jan 21 | Ut Nicotinum Ad Adorum Nescientum | The rattle of toys being hurled out of prams | |
2004 Jan 22 | Omicron Froat | My usual muse has gone for good | |
2004 Jan 22 | Phoebe Married The Warmonger | Smell my squirty button-hole | |
2004 Jan 22 | Forever The Syntax Omelette | The gas oven sings a sweet song to my leadened seratonin | |
2004 Jan 22 | The Cork Coffins | This message to the nearly dead | |
2004 Jan 22 | Arthur Sucking Cough Drops | Shall I start a new poem or will it get trashed? | |
2004 Jan 22 | Porcine Tales By Granddaddy | I've got a brand new bathroom | |
2004 Jan 23 | Bootblack Hatrack Knickknack | There are so many words that rhyme with "whack": | |
2004 Jan 24 | Benedictine Evening Dresses | Poetic mis'ry in a name? | |
2004 Jan 24 | Paternity Proves Nothing | Crayfish, lobster, crab | |
2004 Jan 24 | Beaten Fluffy | I took my bitch to get her shaved on Park Lane yesterday | |
2004 Jan 24 | The Rite For Pipkin Breezes | If I could dance like Fred Austere | |
2004 Jan 25 | Implacable Northerly Padrés | Competition in other places | |
2004 Jan 25 | Little Holly Sat Upon Her | I'm the only gay in the village | |
2004 Jan 25 | Cheese Pistons Of All Ages | What is this evil in our midst? | |
2004 Jan 25 | Rural Consternation | My sister's just ripped a tractor in two | |
2004 Jan 26 | Well-wisher's Bride | The grandpaternity suit | |
2004 Jan 26 | Looking Good Backwards | Where are the songs of yesteryear? | |
2004 Jan 26 | Each Syllable Concocted By Buddhists | The pulse that beats within a flea | |
2004 Jan 26 | Won't You, Suzanne? | I read the rules with some concern | |
2004 Jan 26 | Argument For Exceptions | A new bordello - civic, clean - is what Wisconsin needs | |
2004 Jan 27 | If The Janitor, When Juggling... | Gorris! | |
2004 Jan 27 | Womenfolk Taken Aback | When shifting the permanent way | |
2004 Jan 27 | Mops Our Fevered Explorer Cannot Display | So... slate wiped clean, whereto from here? | |
2004 Jan 28 | Excess Ease Coming | Who welds a poem huger than the grave? | |
2004 Jan 28 | Of Sailors And Their Ways | I'll tell you the tale of ham-handed Hannah | |
2004 Jan 28 | Thesis For A Standard Text | Said the shaman to the showman | |
2004 Jan 28 | Hamlet With Fish | My chronic youth would soon speed past | |
2004 Jan 28 | My Toe Is Now Swollen Again | That fellow, Othello, could not be called mellow | |
2004 Jan 28 | Parsec Progression Beyond | What are the odds | |
2004 Jan 29 | Evening Along Its Transverse Axis | This caustic little ditty | |
2004 Jan 29 | Mayoral Heart-throbs | A burst of poignant doctrine | |
2004 Jan 29 | Semicolon Failings | The scarlet letter, none too soon | |
2004 Jan 29 | 440 Foursome | Three down redoubled, 1000 away | |
2004 Jan 29 | Frugal Jars Of Mine Filled With Other Piglets | It's a glossary, they claim, | |
2004 Jan 30 | Traditionally Devoted To Artificial Punctuations | Here in Freud's kettle | |
2004 Jan 30 | Balletic Tropism | The crutch on which you make your way | |
2004 Jan 30 | Baroness Buttercup | Oh, innocents, listen in time | |
February | |||
2004 Feb 1 | Flight Recorder In Mink | Shocked by his failure to fly, | |
2004 Feb 2 | Pale Mutabilities Of Death In Wales | Forget them all, their necks, their eyes | |
2004 Feb 2 | A Plurality Because Of Our Nausea | Let's not forget the little ones | |
2004 Feb 3 | All That Blisters | Have more wine and honey, darling, | |
2004 Feb 3 | Further Epsom Salts | How far can we fall | |
2004 Feb 3 | Caspar Caged | A puma won't return the gaze of Rilke | |
2004 Feb 3 | Jelly-Babies Prefer Jelly-Parents | Dr Who once gave me candy-floss to eat | |
2004 Feb 4 | Destiny For My King Of Hastings | One day, while I was walking | |
2004 Feb 4 | Rebel Angels, Mountain Dance | Labouring dismally under a sky | |
2004 Feb 4 | Borders For Uncle Monk | 'Quite a clump,' he summarised | |
2004 Feb 5 | Farewell, Mutiny | Cease to sway | |
2004 Feb 5 | Two Hands Forwards, Two Peas Backwards | Once upon a noontime cheery, as I daydreamed hale and hearty, | |
2004 Feb 5 | Concealed In Plain Leather | Of all the nights I've spent abroad | |
2004 Feb 5 | Sorry Lament For Gilded Wallets | When I consider what my wife has spent | |
2004 Feb 5 | Wresting Joy From Daily Pickles | A pickle I wanted, and yet that darn lid | |
2004 Feb 6 | Questions, Not More | When You've made all Creation in just seven days | |
2004 Feb 8 | The Oast-House Symposium | It moves an inch a minute | |
2004 Feb 10 | The Better To Infiltrate Someone's Affections | I never saw you in a dream | |
2004 Feb 10 | Even Duplication Factors | Say hello to Chutney Spears | |
2004 Feb 10 | Those Poor Breakdancing Triplets | The birth canal has many locks | |
2004 Feb 10 | Baltic Bang | Do not go gently into that goodnight | |
2004 Feb 11 | Wandering Socks Found Wanton | When JB Priestley, in his bath | |
2004 Feb 12 | Gateways Home To Worthing | We set out, full of hope and ale, one grey December morn | |
2004 Feb 13 | I Won't Be Flying Anywhere Near Basildon | There's time enough for changing sides | |
2004 Feb 13 | Martyrs To The Biscuit Guardians | The bilemonger's bill | |
2004 Feb 13 | Dangerously We Fly | "What is your destination, child? | |
2004 Feb 13 | Harvest Me Gently Yet | There's many pheasant pluckers farm life's field | |
2004 Feb 15 | Unblinking Again | Atop my desk, her portrait stared | |
2004 Feb 16 | Once Lithuania, Once | In a cave, on a mountain so high | |
2004 Feb 17 | Perpetual Hermeneutic Of Girl-Guides | When the pressure on our thinking | |
2004 Feb 17 | Composers In The Ground | Just say "Baroque" and choral hymns | |
2004 Feb 17 | Habits Of Old Liberals Foregone | "devolve prolific coconut" advised the sophic spam | |
2004 Feb 18 | Doom Dealt Deftly | The djinn that made me sneeze | |
2004 Feb 18 | The Great Roar | The lion's the king of the beasts | |
2004 Feb 19 | Crybaby Number Nine (1967) | The lonely hearts in Sgt. Pepper's Band | |
2004 Feb 19 | Forgive, Offhandedly | While you were away | |
2004 Feb 19 | Sometimes Enough Makes Sense | The trampled multitude are free - | |
2004 Feb 20 | How Can It Be Moss If It Grows Faster? | O sober reflection | |
2004 Feb 20 | Flawed Inheritance | Agnes played the cymbals, three nights a week | |
2004 Feb 21 | Tardy Wishes For Sweethearts And Critics | Your valentine was late arriving, the message rather sappy | |
2004 Feb 22 | Clandestine Openings Like That | Meet me in the arboretum | |
2004 Feb 22 | Harvested From Unsavoury Pulpits | Only a man. | |
2004 Feb 23 | No, Angels Shouldn't | To cling, once more, to selfsame forms | |
2004 Feb 23 | Pious Hens of Unknowing | What kind of men are these, with beards and balding pates? | |
2004 Feb 24 | Who Drank My Sorbet? | Blend one part soot and two parts salt | |
2004 Feb 24 | Whence Cometh Our Whelp With Its Peculiar Outlook? | It's not just the hole in the dyke | |
2004 Feb 25 | All My Cousins, Surely | Goatish hovels - for the poor? | |
2004 Feb 25 | Near Creepy Cow Lane | The last time I polkaed with Ted | |
2004 Feb 27 | Messages For Sandwichmen | We scaled it down | |
2004 Feb 29 | The Birdbath Embargo | Here in Munich's age-old centre | |
March | |||
2004 Mar 1 | My Aunt's Astonished Parakeet | Repetition twenty-fold is what I really crave | |
2004 Mar 1 | Surprise Me Less | The trunk in the attic held something amazing | |
2004 Mar 2 | To Strive For Dizzying Perfection | To get into the Hall of Fame | |
2004 Mar 3 | Musical Accomplishments Involving Instruments Of Zinc | It's fine to play the didgeridoo, but please not in the office loo | |
2004 Mar 3 | Middle Victorian | The generals are born again | |
2004 Mar 3 | Diffused By Brilliant Clouds | I wandered lonely as a nerd | |
2004 Mar 4 | It's Unoffically Denied Until Proven | Now the news is out, | |
2004 Mar 5 | Punctuated Parsimony | There' s no use whining | |
2004 Mar 5 | Balderdash Brevity | Here's an ode to hogwash - to tripe and pure baloney | |
*** | 2004 Mar 8 | A Mile Beyond The World May Be A Maiden | Congealing in a fusty box |
2004 Mar 9 | Nothing But Extra Famine | Whilst walking on the darkling path | |
2004 Mar 10 | Alternative Will | Tell me Doc - I've got to know | |
2004 Mar 12 | Away Game Voyeurism | People are bloody ignorant apes! | |
2004 Mar 12 | Beyond Her Final Finery | Mow the news is out | |
2004 Mar 12 | Frauds? Yes | Let us now praise famous men | |
2004 Mar 16 | Because I Am Seesawing | "Why do you carry hamsters in your pockets?" demanded Mrs. Pringle | |
2004 Mar 16 | To Your Abiding Toadstools | A granite sheet does not get crumpled, | |
2004 Mar 16 | Relying On Our Native Discretion | Uncle Stalin's on the floor | |
2004 Mar 18 | Doves, Couples, Quarks, Exigencies | Give me the pen and invisible ink, and I'll write my life story for you | |
2004 Mar 18 | Custom Paintwork Jobs | Good citizens, attend this moral tale | |
2004 Mar 18 | Proved Once, Baked Twice | Unshockable, the bailiff's urge | |
2004 Mar 19 | After Lessons | How to explain this shocking situation | |
2004 Mar 19 | Only Once Is More Than Twice Times Two | Give me the pen and invisible ink, and I'll write my life story for you | |
2004 Mar 19 | Collaborating, Supposedly | To polevault, or to stay in bed? | |
2004 Mar 22 | Several Chemistry Sets | Bromide in the afternoon | |
2004 Mar 22 | Before Cows Were Chic | They say you're no good | |
2004 Mar 23 | Vladimir's Looted Me Carrot | Silently clutching his kite, | |
2004 Mar 23 | Subtle With Hotdogs | 'Here are the gum-boots you ordered, madam!' | |
2004 Mar 23 | Peptic Ulster | Later than the final hour | |
2004 Mar 23 | Refusenik Attitudes Long Considered Passé | Is that your usual tone of voice? | |
2004 Mar 24 | Milk Manoeuvres | Free, with every Guernsey cow | |
2004 Mar 24 | Marrows Away | This choice of relish was not of the best, | |
2004 Mar 25 | Cardinal In Error | A pepperoni sandwich from the Pope | |
2004 Mar 26 | Otherworldly Newsagent With Or Without Croutons | A surgeon addicted to soup | |
2004 Mar 29 | Extraterrestrial, Improperly Aligned | The cookbook used by Dr Who | |
2004 Mar 30 | To Heroic Bakery | Crumpets, muffins and baguettes | |
2004 Mar 30 | Rites For Responsible Raisins | My cummerbund was missing | |
2004 Mar 30 | Somehow Somewhere Leads Nowhere | Would you like to wax my floor? | |
2004 Mar 30 | Hen Pectoral Commemorated | Suffolk Asian – who would choose | |
2004 Mar 31 | Onwards, Henrietta Dawson | I carry Hank, my freeze-dried hake, | |
2004 Mar 31 | Hammerklavier, Dissonantly | The late sonatas on a lute? | |
2004 Mar 31 | Tales Of Someone Taller Than Expected | Tell me, O Wanderer, whom do you seek? | |
April | |||
2004 Apr 1 | Attention: Recurring Decimal | Poor Jones got hanged - and yet I know 'twas | |
2004 Apr 2 | Bureaucracy Marks The Pedestrians | If filling in forms engenders dismay, tick box 'A' | |
2004 Apr 2 | Gathering Clouds While Visigoths Circle | Let me be the first to say, it's nice to have you back | |
2004 Apr 2 | Canine Bearing | Despite this aberration, sir | |
2004 Apr 2 | Faithful Enough Before Lunch | At the age of thirty-seven | |
2004 Apr 11 | Soprano And Under | Surrendering to something | |
2004 Apr 14 | Brief Lives Last Sunday | People from Purley like getting up early | |
2004 Apr 14 | Who Dares Grins | Before expiring, Genghis said: | |
2004 Apr 15 | Businessman In Loose Flannels | Watch out for my claim | |
2004 Apr 15 | Dragonfly With Diamonds | We who were not bound to rhyme | |
2004 Apr 15 | Beard Recognitions | Friends reunited | |
2004 Apr 15 | The Danish Word | The lonely Swedish man | |
2004 Apr 18 | Nursery Rhymes for Lawyers, Juries and Judges | Arnold Berry, quite contrary, | |
2004 Apr 19 | Chesse-topped Minstrels | This diversion - to the moon! - | |
2004 Apr 19 | Amulets As Fishcakes | When I went to Inverness | |
2004 Apr 20 | Spoon Receipt | Such is the demon's lot | |
2004 Apr 20 | She Never Even Saw His Noble Bonfire | Without ever eating | |
2004 Apr 20 | Upstream Into Camberwell | So clumsy, so clumsy | |
2004 Apr 23 | Iconoclasts Rarely Gain Entry To Disneyland | Breaking down barriers and opening doors | |
2004 Apr 24 | Brigade Of Billabongs | In conclusion, Speckled Jim | |
2004 Apr 24 | Longingly Depend | Whilst figuring out how to untie his shoes | |
2004 Apr 24 | Piquant Hostesses | Bowls of mustard lined the hall | |
2004 Apr 25 | My Slide Transmission | Another Red poem commences | |
2004 Apr 26 | Looking Lively And Feeling Crap | Can this be it? Can Spring be here? | |
2004 Apr 26 | Bayonets Programmed To Twirl | Scarcely welcome though she was | |
2004 Apr 28 | Unsettled Directions | From the Baltic, travel North | |
2004 Apr 29 | Sausages Stitched Lengthways | The rats climbed on the rising ship | |
2004 Apr 29 | Ghastly Appendages | Oh, it's all quite ghastly | |
2004 Apr 29 | Marmots Roam Willy-nilly Across Naked And Glistening Tundras | Make love to me as if you'd spent | |
2004 Apr 29 | Nuns Betray Our Laxative Supplies | Incantations - dead of night - | |
May | |||
2004 May 1 | More Coal Please. Vicar | She's known as Nell, down in Camberwell | |
2004 May 1 | Late Comers To Rollerblades | Which came first, the liver or the wurst? | |
2004 May 7 | Liquid Never Flinches | So plaintively you ask if this | |
2004 May 7 | Carbohydrate Counts Against Each Mouthful | The problem of a bee city | |
2004 May 8 | Thwarted By Occam | Don't invade us till the dawn, | |
2004 May 9 | Surprise Dentistry | At a quarter past one on the fifteenth of May | |
2004 May 10 | Shelley: Drowning Was Enough | The weight of any bantam | |
2004 May 10 | Trios Yet | No I never joined in | |
2004 May 11 | Zarathustra Lurking In The Out-tray | Colossal, in a home-made hat | |
2004 May 12 | Motherhood In The Pasture | Diapering tushies is really a bummer | |
2004 May 13 | Lest We Forgive Without Forgetting | For the gloom that follows fire | |
2004 May 13 | Better Lettuce Forthcoming | As the orders start to dry | |
2004 May 17 | Pork Beam Custard | Palpably encoded in the Turing mould | |
2004 May 17 | Upstream Candidate | He was singing in Dutch | |
2004 May 17 | Wasted Needlework | Harrumph, I say | |
2004 May 17 | Oversight Of The Acrosticial | When any lowbrow tunesmith offers notes | |
2004 May 18 | We Sold Our Restaurants In Cyprus | Upanishads and Vedic verse | |
2004 May 18 | The Very Ouch | Put me through the paper shredder | |
*** | 2004 May 18 | Calling For A Funicular Tramway Service | While strutting through the quicksand |
2004 May 21 | Semaphore Statements Issued In Urdu | Let's keep this one simple | |
*** | 2004 May 21 | Seven Seasons In Red | Was it for this that I sold all my children? |
2004 May 21 | We Flee Toward The Far Journey | It is time, I think we'd all agree, | |
2004 May 24 | Meaty Beaty Big And Bonsai | Sausage, when the time is right | |
2004 May 24 | Circus Accountants | Dreary, dreary dogs | |
2004 May 25 | Adjectives On Steroids | So sullen was he, in his melancholy wistfulness, | |
2004 May 25 | Today's Not Likely | Pardon my haste - I really must dash | |
*** | 2004 May 25 | Rubbish-tip Top | The moving pencil writes and, having writ, it breaks |
2004 May 25 | Ellis Inland | Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light | |
2004 May 26 | Profit From Jaaaaazzzzzzzz | When any lowbrow tunesmith offers notes | |
2004 May 26 | Home Time Before Cock-crow | Why do I sit here, why do I strive | |
2004 May 27 | After Backward Cause | An adman amiably asserted | |
2004 May 27 | Keeping Her Through Ignorance | Let's not expect the moon | |
2004 May 27 | Aspirated Eyeball, Innit? | It started with a glottal stop | |
2004 May 28 | Hanging Trout Fancying Grandmothers | I dropped it down the wishing well | |
2004 May 28 | Desist, Whoreson Knave, Lest Great Cudgellings Befall Thee | To count the rings of Saturn | |
2004 May 28 | Attraction Determined By Inquest | He took her down a leafy lane | |
2004 May 29 | Banished From Man's Ears | To cudgel, to cajole | |
2004 May 29 | Cautionary Tales For Young Hotshots | How many times must I tell you? | |
June | |||
2004 Jun 1 | Nepalese Danceuse Observed Using Stun-guns | Behold the scold: | |
*** | 2004 Jun 1 | Wordsworth's Intention | On viewing Chloe's coccyx |
2004 Jun 1 | Sing Soprano Like They're Sniffing | A venerated halibut consecrated mass | |
2004 Jun 1 | Raindrops Keep Dripping On The Photoshoot | Atop the hill the castle stood | |
2004 Jun 2 | Dunciad Variorum | 'Twas Pope who wrote that angels fear | |
2004 Jun 2 | Intensify The Passion For Ophthalmology | Bigfoot saw the racehorse | |
2004 Jun 2 | Oftentimes Manet Tried Somersaulting Over Renoir | Lanky Hank was the tallest of Sherpas | |
2004 Jun 2 | Afternoon Delight Until Midday | City slickers in the sunlight | |
2004 Jun 3 | Bailiff Only Because | Beyond the reach of kettle-leads | |
2004 Jun 3 | Quenching Their Papyrus Of Filth | Saratoga springs eternal | |
2004 Jun 10 | In The Seventh Parcel Are Several Businessmen | When pass-the-parcel palls | |
2004 Jun 14 | Palomar Mentors | Got Venus in my Transit | |
2004 Jun 16 | In Our Wintry Organ | To prime one's seventh armpit | |
2004 Jun 16 | Nothing More Tangible For Hillmen | Reticence, the virtue of the fool | |
2004 Jun 16 | Stewed Sea-weed, Nothing More | Pip, as a boy, the marshes trod | |
2004 Jun 17 | Ages Rush By, Unremarked By Anyone | What shall we do today, my dear, where would you like to go | |
2004 Jun 18 | Forswear Courage | Hollie was a hostage | |
2004 Jun 20 | Grid Of Life Expectant | The weight of expectation is pressing on my brain | |
2004 Jun 21 | Seegarten Tour For Wits | If it's standing-room only | |
2004 Jun 21 | Chirping By Other Means | Yeast admixed with poisoned brine | |
2004 Jun 22 | Haddock Framing | I berate you for infecting | |
2004 Jun 22 | Lotteries Bring Us Little Snowdrops | Divest yourself of all your wealth! | |
2004 Jun 22 | A Very Lodestone | 'A Fiery Flying Roll', you claim | |
2004 Jun 23 | Singing For Our Tea In C | A whipping-boy | |
2004 Jun 24 | Cutlery At Noon | Silent in the dinner-queue | |
2004 Jun 24 | Deaf Though They Be Dubbed | Behold the spineless fossil | |
2004 Jun 24 | Unworthy Of Scorn | This invention makes me sick! | |
2004 Jun 25 | Each Dainty Ballerina And Her Imaginary Pilchard | This happy nest has made me cry | |
2004 Jun 25 | Subliminal Telemetry Wasted | A muse might amuse us | |
2004 Jun 25 | The Kiss Cabin | This mouth of salt | |
2004 Jun 25 | Thistle Bow And Saw | This poem will be highbrow and clean as a whistle | |
2004 Jun 26 | M 32 Road Movie | These old molluscs, bought for tea, inscribe | |
2004 Jun 27 | Blackbird Singing With Bluebeard | With 'action' just another word | |
2004 Jun 27 | The Braunschmidt Transponder | Palimpsest of things divine | |
2004 Jun 29 | The Fourth Alibi From The Left | Oh blessed fragment of the foam | |
2004 Jun 30 | If If Why When How Who | Big Brother watches the housemates perform | |
2004 Jun 30 | Maidens Irritated When Their Purity Runs Out | A thesaurus was stoned to death, a diction'ry was raped, | |
July | |||
2004 Jul 1 | My Cardboard Mother | Dressing as a helicopter | |
2004 Jul 1 | Defenestrating Our Noisome Entertainers | Beckham, Rooney, Owen and Scholes | |
2004 Jul 2 | The Universe Eyed From The Back Row | Leonardo da Vinci | |
2004 Jul 2 | Danish Polka | Bruno's head, a perfect sphere | |
*** | 2004 Jul 2 | Domestic Meltdown | The problem is easy to see |
2004 Jul 2 | Only Fools Rush | Only a rose | |
2004 Jul 2 | The Tale Of Squabbling Archangels | At first, it seemed an ordinary day | |
2004 Jul 2 | The Denouement Of Vermicelli | The blank screen gazes remorselessly back | |
2004 Jul 5 | Who Knows More Than Folk? | To yield without coercion | |
2004 Jul 6 | Forget About Broken Daisies | When you take a taxicab, don't forget to tip | |
2004 Jul 6 | The Fragile Steel | So easy to upset her | |
2004 Jul 6 | We Never Boycott Oversights | Got a nice new jersey | |
2004 Jul 7 | Tin-openers Practising What? | Meander into Shropshire, in the old MG, | |
2004 Jul 7 | The Right Lunar Terrace Concept | These pronouncements, from the moon, were made in dead of night: | |
2004 Jul 7 | Prosperity Falters If Poverty Persists Beyond The Breadline | Meathook | |
2004 Jul 7 | Lighthouse Magic | It came upon the midnight clear | |
2004 Jul 7 | Sediment Flying In From The Airfield | Ten more miles and we'll be home | |
2004 Jul 8 | Purse Maps | In the second shopping-trolley | |
2004 Jul 8 | The Parliamentary Parsley Supplier | Peel an onion? - for a jape? | |
2004 Jul 9 | Sailor Marinated In November | Pleiades in yonder sky | |
2004 Jul 9 | Staff Barbecue For Hygienic Elves | Pleonastic bunkers that the empire built | |
2004 Jul 9 | Believe What You Will But Doubt Nothing Excepting Yourself | Little boys with little toys | |
2004 Jul 9 | North-east Is Henceforth Banished | A globe for tea, crammed high with brine, | |
2004 Jul 9 | Hideum Cat | Banalities, encountered twice, | |
2004 Jul 12 | Tea-room Trumpery | Catachresis in the crypt | |
2004 Jul 13 | Glaswegians In Time-share Bodies | On a hilltop, left of Rheims, | |
2004 Jul 13 | Weather-vane Warning | Behind the grizzled pine | |
2004 Jul 13 | Zeppelin Without Page | Said Benk, the lusty bear, | |
2004 Jul 14 | The Zimmer-frame Society | Emblematic? Regal? Or a waste of space, | |
2004 Jul 14 | Each Weary Welcoming | To redefine our clique | |
2004 Jul 14 | Fail By Then If Never | Calisthenic ribaldry shall not win you the prize! | |
2004 Jul 16 | Tennis Balls Striking Us Forcibly | I never will get over | |
2004 Jul 18 | America Next Thursday Or Thereabouts | Thou old, unruly turban | |
2004 Jul 19 | Beep Road | My dear, have you lost your panache? | |
2004 Jul 19 | Disco Infernal | Annie Lennox drove my car | |
2004 Jul 21 | Dreams Of Soup Kitchens | A mile or so beyond | |
2004 Jul 21 | Taller Despite Appearances | The short-cuts that Yevgeny likes | |
2004 Jul 22 | Horticultural Adages Designed By Sadistic Schoolmarms | Artichokes stop chasing, when the sunset glows, | |
2004 Jul 27 | Swedish Substitute For Previously Contaminated Dessert | Speciously, you are so fine! | |
2004 Jul 29 | Bless This Horse With Greatness | The Gryphon, on his rival page | |
2004 Jul 29 | Dating Twilight Gals | Pogonophores and Dubliners | |
2004 Jul 30 | Gloucestershire Throughout Devon | 'Tis the ebbing of the eyes | |
2004 Jul 30 | Imminent Destruction Of Everything In Port | Passion, closeness and great sex | |
August | |||
2004 Aug 4 | Nightly Coal Kimono | These cosy virtuosi | |
2004 Aug 5 | Patience Is Never Compared To Hopscotch | Is solitaire a virtue? | |
2004 Aug 5 | To The Nth Decree | These brief lines | |
2004 Aug 6 | Smudge On A Trumpet | I'm not even thinking | |
2004 Aug 8 | Eyeliner How Ever Loosely Bent | Ridicule for penguins only makes them slide | |
2004 Aug 9 | Fish Remedies For Mischief | Not a feather, nor a leaf, | |
2004 Aug 9 | Buns Beyond Sunset | Breathlessly, you claim to be | |
2004 Aug 10 | Undercover Pastries Lost In Space | In every other window | |
2004 Aug 11 | Rustic Tangent | The taxidermist's holiday | |
2004 Aug 11 | Distant Fashion | The tram that passed the Opera | |
2004 Aug 11 | Syllabub Proverbs | The lumps one sometimes finds in cream | |
2004 Aug 13 | Perdition In Vitro | When I went to the bar as a very young man | |
2004 Aug 13 | Crabbily Dressed For Dancing Partners | To scuttle through the shallows with my claws stretched wide | |
2004 Aug 14 | Naughty Thoughts Are Always Parochial | How fetching you look, Miss Sipple | |
2004 Aug 16 | Those Whose Every Movement Counts | I chanced upon a postcard | |
2004 Aug 16 | Knighthood For Those In Direst Destitution | I chanced upon a shouting match | |
2004 Aug 17 | It Might Not Be That Scrap | When coupled with that | |
2004 Aug 17 | Robbers Never Stopped Us Before Lunch | It started at quarter to one | |
2004 Aug 17 | Nomads Are Only Upright Hayseeds | Affectless nomads | |
2004 Aug 18 | Through Hooded Dreams | Shoot off her skin | |
2004 Aug 18 | Evidence From Pablum Mechanics | It isn't right, it isn't wrong | |
2004 Aug 19 | Friday Night Aspirants | At least it isn't hailing | |
2004 Aug 19 | Save Our Dickensian Surrogates | Scuttling from clime to clime | |
2004 Aug 20 | The Operatic Life | I had a fish named Rusty | |
2004 Aug 20 | Meringue-laden Exclamations | At this time, most every day, | |
2004 Aug 20 | Biblical Sheep-dip Nonsense | No more strumpets, | |
2004 Aug 23 | Nuptial Mishaps With Long Knives | A young anthropologist cried | |
2004 Aug 24 | Estonian Homonyms | This encroachment, on my lawn, | |
2004 Aug 24 | Raskolnikov Spotless, Adrift Upon Oceans | Jesuitical was his way | |
2004 Aug 25 | Sugary Benisons During Walpurgisnacht | In conclusion, blessed child, | |
2004 Aug 25 | Reaper Without Envy | Kaolin | |
2004 Aug 25 | While Parachutes Descend Upon Unsuspecting Parsons | To build a good business you must | |
2004 Aug 26 | Carry No Weightlifters Aloft | When shopping for a pachyderm | |
2004 Aug 26 | They Astray | On coming home at last | |
2004 Aug 27 | Boot Cramp Without Due Cause | Be loyal to your captain, soldier: he was once a man like you | |
2004 Aug 27 | Poorly Bohemians After Supper | An escapee from sanity: that's me | |
2004 Aug 27 | We Penguins Have Closed Supper Clubs Forever | I'm an escapee from sanity | |
2004 Aug 27 | The Least Suspicious Concertina | A drooping, stealthful melody | |
2004 Aug 27 | Florizel Inclined | Hide me, my darling, in your tresses! | |
2004 Aug 27 | Not What It Seems | Back at the beginning | |
2004 Aug 27 | Queen Of The Feathers | Her innocence unquestioned, her purity renowned | |
2004 Aug 27 | Compulsive Fondling By Men Of Gentility | She checked its lock a dozen times | |
2004 Aug 27 | Westwards In Search Of Undiscovered Pastries | Despite his utter shabbiness | |
2004 Aug 27 | Welcome To The Never-ending School | Comrade railcar | |
2004 Aug 30 | Travelers That Float | A flibbertigibbet you are, aha! | |
2004 Aug 30 | Addicts Of Various Dispositions | Wallowing hogs and leaping frogs | |
2004 Aug 30 | Channel The Avuncular | My Uncle says, "The weasel never sings." | |
2004 Aug 31 | Campaigns Begin Like Bladders | The politican declaimed and avowed | |
2004 Aug 31 | The Deepest, Darkest Regions Inside My Colon | Whenever I go for a smoke | |
September | |||
2004 Sep 1 | It Never Raineth On The Holy Fool | Back at the beginning | |
2004 Sep 1 | Plans For Nobody | Andromeda, I cry to thee | |
2004 Sep 1 | The Things That Are Caramelized By Moonlight | Imagine there were jungles on the moon | |
2004 Sep 2 | There Once Lived Some Rather Odd Babies | In a poisoned gondola | |
2004 Sep 2 | Adrift Beyond Our Reckoning | Three hobbling blondes | |
2004 Sep 2 | Dice In The Ovens Of Rheims | The early bird, that gets the lion's share | |
2004 Sep 3 | Sages Of Most Definite Hopefulness | Behold! | |
2004 Sep 4 | Blossom On Most Wintry Afternoons | How blistering your prose, how Jovian your style | |
2004 Sep 6 | Yeats Upon A Toadstool | Parsimony of the heavens | |
2004 Sep 7 | Left Handed And Concealed In Murky Allusions | Is it such a sin to lust | |
2004 Sep 7 | Culinary Experts Seldom Agree | Add some resin to the pulp, and deftly stir: | |
2004 Sep 8 | Bite-sized Granules Of Compassionate Crunchiness | I think she may be going mad | |
2004 Sep 8 | The Snowman Assassinated By Fibreglass Mittens | A limerick written by me | |
2004 Sep 9 | Drenched In Watery Ends | Your putative queen, dear sire, has fled, | |
2004 Sep 9 | When The Final Scone Hovers Above Our Fish-pond | Predictably enough | |
2004 Sep 10 | Cheery Thoughts About Society | Biting on a leaden shell, I contemplate my doom | |
2004 Sep 12 | One Apostate Fieldmouse Alone In All Conjecture | Ignorance, in former times | |
2004 Sep 13 | It Cannot Be The Teapots | She is in love with the beautiful formlessness of the sea (Sylvia Plath) | |
2004 Sep 14 | Juicy John Chest Unit | Yield unto me, maiden fresh, | |
2004 Sep 14 | Not Princeton, Nor Any Other Halls Of Improvement | As with gladness men of old | |
2004 Sep 15 | Unnecessary Puns As She Grasped Another Cupcake | Her eyes are like a cup of tea | |
2004 Sep 16 | Nothing But The Very Onerous Consumption Of Desire | This rare dark beauty doth my heart inspire | |
2004 Sep 16 | Stuff Your Turkey And Grab A Second Chance For Redemption | I see you bought a pair of saddle shoes | |
*** | 2004 Sep 16 | Satanists With No Desire For Pontifical Stripes | I bought a thing on ebay |
2004 Sep 16 | Lamentations Upon The Morrow | I stare into myself, hoping for redress | |
2004 Sep 17 | She-men And Domestic Appliances | If silence is golden, why won't you be quiet? | |
2004 Sep 17 | Epic Oration Looms To Starboard | In time to come, rememb'rance of this hour | |
2004 Sep 18 | The Morsel Of Reason | Rare confection - of delight! | |
2004 Sep 19 | But For Us And Them | Call me a quack | |
2004 Sep 21 | Nature And Delight Worn Out | We are the Corporation | |
2004 Sep 21 | Reunions That Plato Forgot | Selected for his miseries | |
2004 Sep 23 | Society Umbrellas | Your frothy latte burns my tongue | |
2004 Sep 28 | Criterion For Studiousness In Death | It was a very shambles | |
October | |||
2004 Oct 4 | Ruinously Enough | An omission, in the dyke, | |
2004 Oct 5 | Since We Are Seldom Decoded | Caught in cobwebs, smothered by your love | |
2004 Oct 5 | Credible Safe Kill Factor | Virus warfare for our times | |
2004 Oct 6 | Outlawed Haiku | This secret haven | |
2004 Oct 8 | Not Allowed In Our Picnics | A tide of rash assumptions | |
2004 Oct 8 | If Kipling Required Satisfaction | If all the buyers faced this way | |
2004 Oct 9 | Hens Pretend To Bend Spoons | Infestation's not a problem, but the cure! | |
2004 Oct 11 | Holy Things Always Worry Women | Who will search | |
2004 Oct 11 | State-side Transmissions | These distinctions, in the dark, | |
2004 Oct 12 | Namedroppers' Tango | Several times you've baked a cake | |
2004 Oct 12 | Cardigan Wildlife Artists | When chatty foils reappear | |
2004 Oct 13 | Lest We Forge Biscuits For Orphaned Presidents | Mildenhall; I choose to doubt | |
2004 Oct 14 | When Nagging Seem Treasonous | "Love me or leave me," my girlfriend remarked | |
2004 Oct 14 | The Jurisprudence Of Aquatic Creatures | the egret watched the passing ship | |
2004 Oct 17 | Dunciad Of Love-sick Hands | To fetishise her silhouette | |
2004 Oct 17 | Compensation By Degrees | Strange transmissions, Norah says, | |
2004 Oct 20 | His Lady Grammarian | Babbling as the brook in spate, | |
2004 Oct 22 | Pharyngitis Spells Trouble | Unbridled is your sense of fear | |
2004 Oct 22 | Clucking Behind The Bicycle Sheds | Charlie the cheerful chicken | |
2004 Oct 22 | Massacred By Melting Geology | My foot is stuck; I cannot move | |
2004 Oct 25 | Departures In Disarray | Sophistry, for those who wait, | |
2004 Oct 26 | Effortless Abyss | Cold crustaceans, diving deep, | |
2004 Oct 26 | Unsubtle Songs And Cowboy Gemstones | When packing bags, it's always best to try | |
2004 Oct 30 | Philately Tentacles | I'm off – be back by Thursday night | |
November | |||
2004 Nov 1 | Plane Of Placenta | Tribulation, fear and woe | |
2004 Nov 2 | OK, Naysayer | Have you ever rode a Trojan horse? | |
2004 Nov 3 | In My Long-lost Wellingtons | Magnetic fields, an iron horse | |
2004 Nov 4 | Zoology Students On Holiday | My cat has six claws on her frontmost two paws | |
2004 Nov 8 | Heliotrope Spores | If waking life had time for dreams | |
2004 Nov 9 | Packing-case Diagrams | When all seems lost, all hope forlorn | |
2004 Nov 14 | Hittite Words Of Unforgiving | A gentleman of oriental character | |
2004 Nov 16 | Your Stupid Obsession With Unworldly People-Carriers | She whitewashed me into the corner | |
2004 Nov 16 | The Newest Helmet | You can't complain | |
2004 Nov 17 | The Approach Of Suicidal Robots | The telecon went on and on | |
2004 Nov 18 | Rediscovered Unchanged | Choice apples, red or lilac, I now eat | |
2004 Nov 18 | Mine Or Not To Be | Your clone is a much better lover | |
2004 Nov 18 | Envious Neighbors | They say that those who live their lives | |
2004 Nov 23 | Generally Too Much Opulence | How lithely do these lilliputians leap | |
2004 Nov 24 | All Things Can Be Overturned In Time | Join the dance, you naiads all, | |
2004 Nov 25 | Wenceslas Is Square Enough For Most | A revolution, velvet-lined, | |
2004 Nov 29 | Visions Of Shouting Greengrocers | Last night I had the strangest dream | |
2004 Nov 29 | Hypothesis Epsilon | Come, let us dance, just you and I | |
2004 Nov 29 | Predicated Upon Juvenile Ignorance | The bishop, in his water-wig | |
2004 Nov 29 | Things Are Annoying Everywhere | Just take a breath - we'll sort this out | |
2004 Nov 30 | Lunar Love-fest | We hear you're taking a trip to the moon | |
December | |||
2004 Dec 1 | Thoughts Of The Tedious Old Graybeards | This bathing cap, whose time-eroded pleats | |
2004 Dec 1 | Lurching Balloons | Please release me | |
2004 Dec 8 | Parts That Require Frequent Calibration | A man once played my didgeridoo | |
2004 Dec 9 | Prone To Tautologies | Of sacred cows and catered sows | |
2004 Dec 9 | Please Let Us Pronounce Each Syllable Better | One for the money, two for joy | |
2004 Dec 9 | The Hurricane That Tore Our Beloved Condominium From Its Very Foundation | Behind the bandstand, when we dared | |
2004 Dec 9 | Pathos During Moonsets | This wearisome drought | |
2004 Dec 10 | Towards Our Preordained Tenements | As with so many medicinal jokes | |
2004 Dec 10 | The Mean Spirit Inside My Frog | Toasting bread is rarely easy | |
2004 Dec 11 | Watery Flapjacks, Damn It! | Adam and Eve had reason to grieve | |
2004 Dec 14 | Dickens Saith | "A pox upon thee, wretched cur!" | |
2004 Dec 14 | Every Third Word Recited Effortlessly (Canticle ) | "A pox upon thee, wretched cur!" | |
2004 Dec 15 | Sidcup Half-remembered | It's not the custom, nowadays | |
2004 Dec 16 | Doubly Formal Zebras | To hoist a somewhat smaller flag | |
2004 Dec 17 | Facile Farewell | Taking umbrage, in the Nile, | |
2004 Dec 17 | Farfetched | I'll be home for Christmas (alas!) | |
2004 Dec 21 | This Is My Third Thumb | Please release me. Let me go | |
2004 Dec 22 | Albatross, Lie Still | How calmly did th olive branch | |
2004 Dec 24 | Limblessly Effortless | Up here we no longer have a need . . . for thumbs | |
2004 Dec 31 | Pointless Goodness | "The End is near!" the Bellman cried |