The Spoonbill Generator Archive
A Golden Treasury of Collaborative Verse, 1996–2007
*** Hall of Fame — Alphabetical List of Titles — Index of First Lines — Poems by Colour
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The Spoonbill Generator ArchiveA Golden Treasury of Collaborative Verse, 1996–2007 |
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Poems by Year: 1996 -
1997 -
1998 -
1999 -
2000 -
2001 -
2002 -
2003 -
2004 -
2005 -
2006 -
2007 *** Hall of Fame — Alphabetical List of Titles — Index of First Lines — Poems by Colour | |
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Poems completed in 2002 | |||
Title | First line | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Poems open in a new window | |||
January | |||
| 2002 Jan 2 | Lately Confused Shirts | As he jumped from the peak of the mountain of Slibb | |
| 2002 Jan 3 | The Blood Line of Blandishment Castle | The Welder was welding as never before | |
| 2002 Jan 3 | Mackenzie is Certainly Faster | All the lonely people | |
| 2002 Jan 7 | Mitochondrial Ne'er-do-wells | Carved in frozen gasoline | |
| 2002 Jan 8 | Apsley's Gannet! | When standing on my pantofles | |
| 2002 Jan 8 | Diaspora With Noodles | Now is the time for Algood men | |
| 2002 Jan 8 | Three-thousand Tall Blonde Pastries | A box of lead, filled up with stones, | |
| 2002 Jan 9 | Is Santa Powerless? | No man is an isthmus | |
| 2002 Jan 9 | The Reborn Tuna Despair for Mayonnaise | 'Twas on a moonsoaked midnight | |
| 2002 Jan 14 | Benign Impostures | This egg, which sank in mercury, | |
| 2002 Jan 14 | Fawning Without Distinction | My regard for you does not acknowledge borders! | |
| 2002 Jan 15 | Typist's Lament | Bloody machine! Why won't it behave? | |
| 2002 Jan 15 | The Oboe Omelettes | In the mountains outside Swindon | |
| 2002 Jan 16 | Beckettt's Crispy Pacific Noodles | 'The stratosphere is not so near,' | |
| 2002 Jan 16 | Grandiose Gestures, Futile Drivel | 'Leave me @peace.com', my nephew cried, | |
| 2002 Jan 17 | Dewdrop Whack, Martini Later... | The blancmange spoke, in rhyming couplets, | |
| 2002 Jan 18 | Love Icily Visible | Bones and twigs and a perilous ascent | |
| 2002 Jan 22 | Heavier Than Hymnodists | BNW, dreaded term, infects my thought | |
| 2002 Jan 22 | Tundra Nightmares | Woolly mammoth, now unravelled | |
| 2002 Jan 23 | Fustian Comfits | Portable women | |
| 2002 Jan 28 | Who Wobbles Behind the Arras? | Champagne was flowing down the stairs, perhaps. | |
| 2002 Jan 28 | The Gorse Sandwich | Gloag by name, Gloag by nature; | |
| 2002 Jan 30 | My Finite and Fastidious Friend | This time, I shall follow my leader | |
| 2002 Jan 31 | Crying Again | Don't give me your usual whinge! | |
February | |||
| 2002 Feb 4 | Pay for Teddy-bears | By the black infernal Styx I sat | |
| 2002 Feb 4 | Silently Fabulous | Glutinous grist is my dish of the day, | |
| 2002 Feb 5 | Defy the Hoariest Blanket | Savage is as savage does | |
| 2002 Feb 6 | Unspeakable Extracts of Louise | Regicide is just killing the King, | |
| 2002 Feb 7 | Heroic, We Know Nothing | Boil my leg before you go - | |
| 2002 Feb 7 | 69 Servants | The artichoke eyed the chili pepper with murderous contempt | |
| 2002 Feb 11 | Marmot Receipts Multiply | The terebinth was singing, but its words were quite obscure - | |
| 2002 Feb 12 | Armadeep Looked Out | In the Sudan, there lived five men | |
| 2002 Feb 17 | National Gnu Stun Atrophy | It was on just a night such as this | |
| 2002 Feb 22 | Any child can puke Beethoven's last minuet | The trouser-press is waiting for | |
March | |||
| 2002 Mar 3 | Sausage Pouting Pictured | Echinacea, oil of rum, it's all the same to us! | |
| 2002 Mar 4 | Arquebus (Chaucerian View) | Her basin full of porridge, her stockings eek of holes, | |
| 2002 Mar 5 | The Dockland Proxy | The caramel wafer was tempting and thin: | |
| 2002 Mar 5 | Negating | A waltz a day is not enough | |
| 2002 Mar 5 | When You Dangle Your Sister in Alabaster | I wandered lonely, as a clod | |
| 2002 Mar 6 | Uppity Evidence | No more peaches! No more cream! I'm off to sail the seas! | |
| 2002 Mar 7 | Gingerbread Housing Corporation | Gretel's luxuriant hairy schnauzer was a bitch! | |
| 2002 Mar 10 | Lift-off! (Red Umbrellas) | The conical nose had been smeared with strawberry jam: | |
| 2002 Mar 13 | Eliot's Daily Variations | The flat sky | |
| 2002 Mar 13 | Menu, Unaware of Lurking | I can't abide a burnt-up pie | |
| 2002 Mar 14 | Nowhere Quickly Pales | When the last train left the station | |
| 2002 Mar 15 | Thus Spake the Dingo Baker | A thimble, filled with tepid brine | |
| 2002 Mar 20 | Revenge of the Defecating Cutlery | Cuttlebone, my next of kin | |
| 2002 Mar 20 | Goose Desk | The roots of criminal intent | |
| 2002 Mar 22 | Dubious Factory | When, in the night, I start to doubt | |
| 2002 Mar 25 | Cacophonic, Electric, Adamant | 'Craddock's Cat Biscuits are finer by far!', the radio blared | |
April | |||
| 2002 Apr 2 | Schrödinger Blue | Gusts and mists are just the stuff of dreams... | |
| 2002 Apr 4 | Hannibal's Eggcup | Faint amalgam, fashioned quite | |
| 2002 Apr 4 | Fugitive and Funcle | Reading avidly, yet slowly, I devoured the novel. | |
| 2002 Apr 11 | Caesar and the Suprise Chicken | When no Esquimau obtains | |
| 2002 Apr 11 | The Maritime Suction | On this desolate beach, a lost trinket | |
| 2002 Apr 12 | Nothing Bought With Eurocheques, I Imagine | Why can't the wicked inherit the Earth? | |
| 2002 Apr 14 | Melting Pot Ritual | A caramel pig once sat on the throne | |
| 2002 Apr 15 | Maybe Not the Frozen Finger-Print | Jemima was a nurse-maid | |
| 2002 Apr 18 | Detonated Milk-bottle | Disorder met confusion | |
| 2002 Apr 18 | The Circumference Spoon | Jack of the desperate moments | |
| 2002 Apr 19 | Tennyson's Untreated Butane Vat Goes Whoosh | Come into the garden, John, for the dark bat night has teeth | |
| 2002 Apr 24 | Begone! Said The League of Ostriches | When first I woke upon this day, | |
| 2002 Apr 28 | Whenever Sacrifice Demands | Such anger; incoherent rage | |
| 2002 Apr 29 | Apricot Britain | My ice-cream dribbled into the soft earth, as Rachel | |
| 2002 Apr 29 | Her Prophylactic Wednesdays (Compensatory Voucher) | In days before the Diceman | |
May | |||
| 2002 May 1 | Big, Dangerous Camel | A feather riding high upon a wave of breeze | |
| 2002 May 8 | Criminals in Poltics | The Captain rode to Hampton Court | |
| 2002 May 8 | My Lion-hearted Friend Edgar | The tiger hunting in the dusk | |
| 2002 May 8 | Cuttlebone Sandwiches | Giants, in their tiny way, | |
| 2002 May 9 | Flood-plain Eembargoes | Once upon a greyhound dreary, | |
| 2002 May 11 | Exculpatory Dancing | Giants, in their tedious way | |
| 2002 May 13 | Mr Leather Roasted Little Squid | What dire offence from am'rous causes springs | |
| 2002 May 13 | The Firmament Throughout | The south of France is not a place | |
| 2002 May 13 | Reflections Behind Closed Minds | The art of interactive verse | |
| 2002 May 14 | Gabriel's Hiccoughs | Sledgehammer? I thought to use a shovel | |
| 2002 May 15 | My Helium Pancakes Notwithstanding | When I consider how my light is spent, | |
| 2002 May 15 | Colonels Crooning to Their Dowagers | To bridge the gap 'twixt man and machine | |
| 2002 May 16 | That's the Ticket! | A Hindu Deity is often blessed | |
| 2002 May 16 | Apparent Crimes | A packet of cheese defies the knife, | |
| 2002 May 20 | The Apostle Paul Ate Our Show Dogs | I gorge a slow caramel, | |
| 2002 May 20 | Wood-daemon, Guide Me South! | The bittern is a curious bird, according to the sage | |
| 2002 May 27 | TV Chasm and Clitoral Yawning | Might I dream once more? Of russet dawns and clouds? | |
| 2002 May 28 | Hearts, Like Crystals, Dissolve into Nothingness | Finesse the Queen! Finesse the Queen! | |
| 2002 May 31 | Just Icing the Mind | I love the sound of ice cubes when | |
June | |||
| 2002 Jun 11 | Adventurous Wednesday | Never mind the problem throat | |
| 2002 Jun 11 | Testimonial for Pier Café Raiders | Long, long ago, in old Tashkent | |
| 2002 Jun 17 | Repeatedly Focal | Old Uncle Tom made a nuclear bomb | |
| 2002 Jun 17 | Own Kempt Wonders | Once glutton, twice dry | |
| 2002 Jun 25 | Life Doesn't Fester | Responsibility for life on earth | |
| 2002 Jun 27 | At the Leg-warming Market | Statistically speaking, the cow | |
| 2002 Jun 28 | Squirrel-bitten, the Similes Decay | My love is like a rushing stream, of vigour full and free, | |
| 2002 Jun 30 | Compromises | I ponder what I dare not do, | |
July | |||
| 2002 Jul 3 | After Misdemeanours | Fang by nature, | |
| 2002 Jul 5 | In Contempt of a Buried Steamship | This poem concerns Hades. | |
| 2002 Jul 10 | Whistling Tortoises | A frond of bracken in the hair | |
| 2002 Jul 10 | During Gordon's Last Gloaming | Apostles of the menopause | |
| 2002 Jul 12 | Immediately to the North of Dorking | A friendly leaf once gave me quite a fright: | |
| 2002 Jul 17 | Lent Without Sister Amelia | A slice of cake, soaked in madeira, | |
| 2002 Jul 18 | Professor Branestawm Finally Succumbs | This so-called portrait of the Bard | |
| 2002 Jul 18 | Beside the Derelict Hat-stand | When Granny comes for tea and cake | |
| 2002 Jul 18 | These are Vagaries | Oh, why solicit further scorn | |
| 2002 Jul 23 | Mouldy, They Said | That artichoke they gave me | |
| 2002 Jul 24 | While All Those Has-Beens Dance | A brass ring through the eye-lid | |
| *** | 2002 Jul 24 | The Mark of Uncertainty (Improbable Thumbprint) | If you can hold a tune, when all around |
| 2002 Jul 24 | Unlikely Bovine Dreams | I sent a message - to an elk? | |
| 2002 Jul 26 | Stolen From Steel Factory Sirens | The skies were heavy as an ounce of osmium, | |
| 2002 Jul 26 | Scarcely | The glaciers of Egypt | |
| 2002 Jul 26 | Dark of Wanton | Know how the filbert leaps | |
| 2002 Jul 29 | One Scourge Too Far From Home | Imagine that! My little cat | |
| 2002 Jul 29 | Abigail | On Thames' Embankment, bright spring day | |
| 2002 Jul 29 | Piecemeal Premonitions | I saw Yehudi Menuhin | |
| 2002 Jul 30 | Rotting Icebergs, Sketched by Proust | To tear the grimy Gospel | |
August | |||
| 2002 Aug 2 | Limerick Folly | The funny thing is, remarked Fred | |
| 2002 Aug 2 | Cheese Isn't For Funny Ladies | Penumbral vision | |
| 2002 Aug 5 | The Lament of my Square Informal Tusks | The sergeant sighed as his steely gaze | |
| 2002 Aug 5 | Eyelash Radio | Necessity's the mother of invention | |
| 2002 Aug 6 | Behind Beelzebub's Backyard | 'Make mine mink,' said the Minotaur | |
| 2002 Aug 7 | Gartled Invertebrate Forum | 'Subtle', spelt with seven Ps | |
| 2002 Aug 7 | Carp of a Thousand Drums | Exactly how surreal do you fish? | |
| 2002 Aug 8 | Transplant for Triplets (Under Local Anaesthetic) | The funny thing is, remarked Smith | |
| 2002 Aug 16 | Stupid Polar | The rain it raineth every day | |
| 2002 Aug 21 | The Obverse Equivalent | The dark cathedral shivers | |
| 2002 Aug 23 | Fortissimo Epilogue | Whenne that Julye, with its weather bloodie | |
| 2002 Aug 24 | Another Hairless Igloo Objects | Replace mine injured planet | |
| 2002 Aug 28 | Infested by Dali Specialists | When nuns collide, then is the time | |
| 2002 Aug 30 | Artem and I | Accipiters offend her by slaying unborn lepus | |
| 2002 Aug 30 | Frau Jung Was My Mainstay | Donkey shot, the French would call it | |
September | |||
| 2002 Sep 9 | Mix My Chickens | Torn off a strip | |
| 2002 Sep 10 | Side-Salad Mechanisms | As the world wheels it way around the sky | |
| 2002 Sep 10 | Ill-qualified for Hoping | Dodging through the rainbows | |
| 2002 Sep 14 | Loaf Mumbles Loaf | Punished for his extra ears | |
| 2002 Sep 20 | Anniversary Epithets (if any) | August the eighth, Oh August the eighth | |
| 2002 Sep 21 | Our Lissom Laureate | When you wish upon a stoat | |
| 2002 Sep 23 | Sharing Lulu's Breakfast | Guile ... beyond its main intent, | |
| 2002 Sep 24 | Because Bane Barks | Outside the gates of Norwich | |
| 2002 Sep 24 | Machine Coffee: Grounds for Divorce | Estimate the water's depth | |
| 2002 Sep 25 | Whenever Scant Plenitudes Provide | He so rotten, she so vain | |
| 2002 Sep 28 | By Any Drowned Pavilion | Guacamole, whose brindled haunch | |
| 2002 Sep 29 | Escstatic, Dogmatic | She declared herself democratic, | |
| 2002 Sep 29 | After the Empire, Nothing New | Cushions – when their time has passed | |
October | |||
| 2002 Oct 1 | Conference for Solo Banjo | I sent a parcel trhough the post? | |
| 2002 Oct 2 | Grappling infrequently with the engine-driver's antibodies | These comedy moths | |
| 2002 Oct 3 | Not Lovers | Ventriloquists with salmonella | |
| 2002 Oct 3 | On Pandora's Bonnet | Perhaps I should have told her, perhaps she should have seen | |
| 2002 Oct 3 | Evensong, worn thin through scraping | 'Nautilus shall be my theme', | |
| 2002 Oct 3 | Aldershot's Unhappy History of Gardening Compromises | Mine is not a ranicd bun, served steaming on a plate, | |
| 2002 Oct 3 | Impersonating Nelson for Fun! | As fine a feast as man has known | |
| 2002 Oct 3 | This Lunch-Box of Fate | When toast-eating poets have eaten their fill | |
| 2002 Oct 3 | Wheezing Matilda | When I was old, and on my tongue | |
| 2002 Oct 4 | Let's Beat Up Apsley | A cardboard egg tastes just as good | |
| 2002 Oct 4 | Why not experience leprosy first-hand? | There is deep water everywhere | |
| 2002 Oct 4 | The Victorian Philistines | The entire world is as a foreign place | |
| 2002 Oct 4 | Towards the Sloping Planet | To say that he was fat would be | |
| 2002 Oct 5 | Erupting Like Flamingoes | Gone, the subtle; | |
| 2002 Oct 10 | Trouser Leopard | Frowsy Frederick did foretell fate, | |
| 2002 Oct 10 | Chaos Theory Disproved | Carp for breakfast, hake for tea: | |
| 2002 Oct 10 | Laundresses, Basements, and Pythons | Gullible wretches, so polished and pure | |
| 2002 Oct 10 | Knitting Vol-au-vents | Wars are documentaries now... | |
| 2002 Oct 11 | Manifested | Perhaps I'm not so odd | |
| 2002 Oct 14 | Laconic as Pestilence | Marge sees not her hem's afire, | |
| 2002 Oct 15 | Nonsense Sharpens Your Refrain | Hearlding a century of filth and gore, | |
| 2002 Oct 15 | Underneath Seattle | Bazooka? Not in my bit of jungle! | |
| 2002 Oct 21 | Electon | 'Cobblers, plain bloody cobblers', the fireman roared, | |
| 2002 Oct 22 | Telephone in a Wishing Well | I woke up this morning as blue as your eyes | |
| 2002 Oct 22 | Mr. And Mrs Kruschev's Treasured Collection of Victorian Iron Pullovers | Benjamin Braddock got carried away | |
| 2002 Oct 22 | Rescued From My Defects | There upon the ceiling, in a pattern rich and rare, | |
| 2002 Oct 28 | Only if the Circle Turns | Such a cruel summer! On cool heaths | |
| 2002 Oct 28 | This Way, Lord Byron | It's a long haul to Christmas, a long time to toil | |
| 2002 Oct 29 | Dali's Baby Next Time | The vandal! I dread | |
| 2002 Oct 29 | Cedric the Waitress | A notorious threnody pleases | |
| 2002 Oct 31 | Raptures of Our Lady Bromide | Let her curl up and sleep on the railway | |
November | |||
| 2002 Nov 1 | A Virgin's Twelve Testicles | Such a vile winter! Warm in nooks | |
| 2002 Nov 4 | Longings for Celibacy | How hideous the passion! | |
| 2002 Nov 5 | Queen Adelaide's Shapely Bozos | Twas' once the perfect time for wrath, | |
| 2002 Nov 6 | A Contest for Castle Custard | The goat came down from the hill-tops | |
| 2002 Nov 6 | Surlaw Sha'n't Contribute Veterinary Vouchers | Perhaps I'm not so odd | |
| 2002 Nov 6 | Peeping Tomcat | To drill through the crust of The Hague | |
| 2002 Nov 8 | Impressions of the National Arthritic Gallery | My fourteenth friend cannot be seen from here | |
| 2002 Nov 12 | Epitaph for an Asymmetrical Arrrangement of Bears | Tie them to the bowsprit? With a scratched CD? | |
| 2002 Nov 12 | A Fourth Shortcake Detector | Continuous as the sharks that dine | |
| 2002 Nov 12 | The Submarine Horizons | A biscuit and a cup of tea | |
| 2002 Nov 12 | A New Golem School | Your lack of understanding | |
| 2002 Nov 12 | Defeated by Professors of Usurpation | One escalator, one canoe: | |
| 2002 Nov 12 | Against Wheat-craft | Here, in Glasgow, | |
| 2002 Nov 14 | Seasons Intemperate | If ever I should leave you, it might as well be now | |
| 2002 Nov 14 | Sign Rise | Toffee dipped in chocolate, by the wastrel's hand, | |
| 2002 Nov 15 | Halibut Without | I ate my salad in a huff: | |
| 2002 Nov 15 | Pension Rites After Sex | My metaphor is drawn from ice | |
| *** | 2002 Nov 15 | Civic Pyjamas Akimbo | While editing the alphabet |
| 2002 Nov 18 | Earthenware Thinkers | Behold her single in the field | |
| 2002 Nov 19 | Shake My Garnish | Let us go then, you and I, | |
| 2002 Nov 19 | My No Nonsense Dream | A Roland and an Oliver! | |
| 2002 Nov 21 | Britney's in Purdah | When poets strive against the muse | |
| 2002 Nov 22 | Sing for Switzerland, Salesperson! | Blue Degrees or Royal Arch, in time, | |
| 2002 Nov 23 | Lent Spent in Clapton | Canons to the right of me, and deacons to the left | |
| 2002 Nov 25 | On Undies | Quality control for underwear, | |
| 2002 Nov 26 | Matter, Not Marmite | Burnt his fez upon the pyre? | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | Cactus Mothering | The lawn was laid | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | Bluebells for Another Day | Behold the poet, in her shack! | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | Wenches, Rogues, Wrestlers | Not spacious, like a blunderbus | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | Digging Around The Graveyard | For once a poem with no drawn-out themes | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | From Prussia Without Stamps | Mercator's projection had one tiny flaw | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | Lechery's Not a Primary Foodstuff | Some alphabetty spaghetti | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | Shriven | Most cats repent of all their sins | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | Chutney Feathers | Without my knife and apron, | |
| 2002 Nov 28 | Hertfordshire Joke | I add some lard to every bath-time mix | |
| 2002 Nov 28 | Phenomenology for Carrots | My philosophy is very clear | |
| 2002 Nov 28 | Urging My Example Slowly | She placed the diamond on her toe, | |
| 2002 Nov 28 | Judith, A Polynomial | In my glass kimono | |
| 2002 Nov 29 | Heroic and Auspicious | In Hastings, once, there should an elm, | |
| 2002 Nov 29 | Hugo's Goats | Hideous smells | |
| 2002 Nov 29 | Swimming for Pilgrims | What cloud through yonder window frowns? | |
December | |||
| 2002 Dec 2 | Bereft Between Widows | My love is like a red, red snapper | |
| 2002 Dec 3 | Life-Threatening Tuesday Mornings | Where is fester? What is he? | |
| 2002 Dec 5 | Knowing About Astromancy | My new Gemini space-craft leaks | |
| 2002 Dec 5 | Applause for Melodious Metal | A female, young, of ill repute, | |
| 2002 Dec 6 | When the Spanish Attack | Who dares cross the line? | |
| 2002 Dec 9 | Tendencies (Lapsed) | Who pollutes the Muses | |
| 2002 Dec 9 | Documentary Highlight | In the depths of Epping town | |
| 2002 Dec 10 | Ho, Whoreson Pimp! | The alphabet should be curtailed: | |
| 2002 Dec 11 | Shirley, My Wife for a Day | Some caged bird squawks | |
| 2002 Dec 12 | Big Orchids In Dead Marriage | My dove, Suzette, she lays in wait | |
| 2002 Dec 12 | On My Guff | Please sir, stand downwind from me. | |
| 2002 Dec 12 | Venezuelans and Their Hated Sisters | Christmas gloom is coming soon | |
| 2002 Dec 14 | Having Stacy In Song | Why don't we rename Christmas? | |
| 2002 Dec 15 | Chocolate Elvis During Sessions | Oh! My sombrero is the finest, | |
| 2002 Dec 24 | Lincoln's Curry Riders | The plenitude of earthly thoughts | |
| 2002 Dec 24 | Because I've Died Peacefully Enough | A pint of Scruttock's in my hand | |
| 2002 Dec 27 | Where are Nelson's Aubergines? | I put my trousers in the press | |
| 2002 Dec 31 | CaTacLySm | i SPEAK in CAPITALS quasi-random | |