A man with a prong on his nose

The Spoonbill Generator

A Golden Treasury of Collaborative Verse

Poems completed in 2002


Complete Poems: 1996 - 1997 - 1998 - 1999 - 2000 - 2001 - 2002 - 2003 - 2004 - 2005 - 2006 - 2007

Hall of Fame

TitleFirst line

January
2002 Jan 2Lately Confused ShirtsAs he jumped from the peak of the mountain of Slibb
2002 Jan 3The Blood Line of Blandishment CastleThe Welder was welding as never before
2002 Jan 3Mackenzie is Certainly FasterAll the lonely people
2002 Jan 7Mitochondrial Ne'er-do-wellsCarved in frozen gasoline
2002 Jan 8Apsley's Gannet!When standing on my pantofles
2002 Jan 8Diaspora With NoodlesNow is the time for Algood men
2002 Jan 8Three-thousand Tall Blonde PastriesA box of lead, filled up with stones,
2002 Jan 9Is Santa Powerless?No man is an isthmus
2002 Jan 9The Reborn Tuna Despair for Mayonnaise'Twas on a moonsoaked midnight
2002 Jan 14Benign ImposturesThis egg, which sank in mercury,
2002 Jan 14Fawning Without DistinctionMy regard for you does not acknowledge borders!
2002 Jan 15Typist's LamentBloody machine! Why won't it behave?
2002 Jan 15The Oboe OmelettesIn the mountains outside Swindon
2002 Jan 16Beckettt's Crispy Pacific Noodles'The stratosphere is not so near,'
2002 Jan 16Grandiose Gestures, Futile Drivel'Leave me @peace.com', my nephew cried,
2002 Jan 17Dewdrop Whack, Martini Later...The blancmange spoke, in rhyming couplets,
2002 Jan 18Love Icily VisibleBones and twigs and a perilous ascent
2002 Jan 22Heavier Than HymnodistsBNW, dreaded term, infects my thought
2002 Jan 22Tundra NightmaresWoolly mammoth, now unravelled
2002 Jan 23Fustian ComfitsPortable women
2002 Jan 28Who Wobbles Behind the Arras?Champagne was flowing down the stairs, perhaps.
2002 Jan 28The Gorse SandwichGloag by name, Gloag by nature;
2002 Jan 30My Finite and Fastidious FriendThis time, I shall follow my leader
2002 Jan 31Crying AgainDon't give me your usual whinge!

February
2002 Feb 4Pay for Teddy-bearsBy the black infernal Styx I sat
2002 Feb 4Silently FabulousGlutinous grist is my dish of the day,
2002 Feb 5Defy the Hoariest BlanketSavage is as savage does
2002 Feb 6Unspeakable Extracts of LouiseRegicide is just killing the King,
2002 Feb 7Heroic, We Know NothingBoil my leg before you go -
2002 Feb 769 ServantsThe artichoke eyed the chili pepper with murderous contempt
2002 Feb 11Marmot Receipts MultiplyThe terebinth was singing, but its words were quite obscure -
2002 Feb 12Armadeep Looked OutIn the Sudan, there lived five men
2002 Feb 17National Gnu Stun AtrophyIt was on just a night such as this
2002 Feb 22Any child can puke Beethoven's last minuetThe trouser-press is waiting for

March
2002 Mar 3Sausage Pouting PicturedEchinacea, oil of rum, it's all the same to us!
2002 Mar 4Arquebus (Chaucerian View)Her basin full of porridge, her stockings eek of holes,
2002 Mar 5The Dockland ProxyThe caramel wafer was tempting and thin:
2002 Mar 5NegatingA waltz a day is not enough
2002 Mar 5When You Dangle Your Sister in AlabasterI wandered lonely, as a clod
2002 Mar 6Uppity EvidenceNo more peaches! No more cream! I'm off to sail the seas!
2002 Mar 7Gingerbread Housing CorporationGretel's luxuriant hairy schnauzer was a bitch!
2002 Mar 10Lift-off! (Red Umbrellas)The conical nose had been smeared with strawberry jam:
2002 Mar 13Eliot's Daily VariationsThe flat sky
2002 Mar 13Menu, Unaware of LurkingI can't abide a burnt-up pie
2002 Mar 14Nowhere Quickly PalesWhen the last train left the station
2002 Mar 15Thus Spake the Dingo BakerA thimble, filled with tepid brine
2002 Mar 20Revenge of the Defecating CutleryCuttlebone, my next of kin
2002 Mar 20Goose DeskThe roots of criminal intent
2002 Mar 22Dubious FactoryWhen, in the night, I start to doubt
2002 Mar 25Cacophonic, Electric, Adamant'Craddock's Cat Biscuits are finer by far!', the radio blared

April
2002 Apr 2Schrödinger BlueGusts and mists are just the stuff of dreams...
2002 Apr 4Hannibal's EggcupFaint amalgam, fashioned quite
2002 Apr 4Fugitive and FuncleReading avidly, yet slowly, I devoured the novel.
2002 Apr 11Caesar and the Suprise ChickenWhen no Esquimau obtains
2002 Apr 11The Maritime SuctionOn this desolate beach, a lost trinket
2002 Apr 12Nothing Bought With Eurocheques, I ImagineWhy can't the wicked inherit the Earth?
2002 Apr 14Melting Pot RitualA caramel pig once sat on the throne
2002 Apr 15Maybe Not the Frozen Finger-PrintJemima was a nurse-maid
2002 Apr 18Detonated Milk-bottleDisorder met confusion
2002 Apr 18The Circumference SpoonJack of the desperate moments
2002 Apr 19Tennyson's Untreated Butane Vat Goes WhooshCome into the garden, John, for the dark bat night has teeth
2002 Apr 24Begone! Said The League of OstrichesWhen first I woke upon this day,
2002 Apr 28Whenever Sacrifice DemandsSuch anger; incoherent rage
2002 Apr 29Apricot BritainMy ice-cream dribbled into the soft earth, as Rachel
2002 Apr 29Her Prophylactic Wednesdays (Compensatory Voucher)In days before the Diceman

May
2002 May 1Big, Dangerous CamelA feather riding high upon a wave of breeze
2002 May 8Criminals in PolticsThe Captain rode to Hampton Court
2002 May 8My Lion-hearted Friend EdgarThe tiger hunting in the dusk
2002 May 8Cuttlebone SandwichesGiants, in their tiny way,
2002 May 9Flood-plain EembargoesOnce upon a greyhound dreary,
2002 May 11Exculpatory DancingGiants, in their tedious way
2002 May 13Mr Leather Roasted Little SquidWhat dire offence from am'rous causes springs
2002 May 13The Firmament ThroughoutThe south of France is not a place
2002 May 13Reflections Behind Closed MindsThe art of interactive verse
2002 May 14Gabriel's HiccoughsSledgehammer? I thought to use a shovel
2002 May 15My Helium Pancakes NotwithstandingWhen I consider how my light is spent,
2002 May 15Colonels Crooning to Their DowagersTo bridge the gap 'twixt man and machine
2002 May 16That's the Ticket!A Hindu Deity is often blessed
2002 May 16Apparent CrimesA packet of cheese defies the knife,
2002 May 20The Apostle Paul Ate Our Show DogsI gorge a slow caramel,
2002 May 20Wood-daemon, Guide Me South!The bittern is a curious bird, according to the sage
2002 May 27TV Chasm and Clitoral YawningMight I dream once more? Of russet dawns and clouds?
2002 May 28Hearts, Like Crystals, Dissolve into NothingnessFinesse the Queen! Finesse the Queen!
2002 May 31Just Icing the MindI love the sound of ice cubes when

June
2002 Jun 11Adventurous WednesdayNever mind the problem throat
2002 Jun 11Testimonial for Pier Café RaidersLong, long ago, in old Tashkent
2002 Jun 17Repeatedly FocalOld Uncle Tom made a nuclear bomb
2002 Jun 17Own Kempt WondersOnce glutton, twice dry
2002 Jun 25Life Doesn't FesterResponsibility for life on earth
2002 Jun 27At the Leg-warming MarketStatistically speaking, the cow
2002 Jun 28Squirrel-bitten, the Similes DecayMy love is like a rushing stream, of vigour full and free,
2002 Jun 30CompromisesI ponder what I dare not do,

July
2002 Jul 3After MisdemeanoursFang by nature,
2002 Jul 5In Contempt of a Buried SteamshipThis poem concerns Hades.
2002 Jul 10Whistling TortoisesA frond of bracken in the hair
2002 Jul 10During Gordon's Last GloamingApostles of the menopause
2002 Jul 12Immediately to the North of DorkingA friendly leaf once gave me quite a fright:
2002 Jul 17Lent Without Sister AmeliaA slice of cake, soaked in madeira,
2002 Jul 18Professor Branestawm Finally SuccumbsThis so-called portrait of the Bard
2002 Jul 18Beside the Derelict Hat-standWhen Granny comes for tea and cake
2002 Jul 18These are VagariesOh, why solicit further scorn
2002 Jul 23Mouldy, They SaidThat artichoke they gave me
2002 Jul 24While All Those Has-Beens DanceA brass ring through the eye-lid
2002 Jul 24The Mark of Uncertainty (Improbable Thumbprint)If you can hold a tune, when all around
2002 Jul 24Unlikely Bovine DreamsI sent a message - to an elk?
2002 Jul 26Stolen From Steel Factory SirensThe skies were heavy as an ounce of osmium,
2002 Jul 26ScarcelyThe glaciers of Egypt
2002 Jul 26Dark of WantonKnow how the filbert leaps
2002 Jul 29One Scourge Too Far From HomeImagine that! My little cat
2002 Jul 29AbigailOn Thames' Embankment, bright spring day
2002 Jul 29Piecemeal PremonitionsI saw Yehudi Menuhin
2002 Jul 30Rotting Icebergs, Sketched by ProustTo tear the grimy Gospel

August
2002 Aug 2Limerick FollyThe funny thing is, remarked Fred
2002 Aug 2Cheese Isn't For Funny LadiesPenumbral vision
2002 Aug 5The Lament of my Square Informal TusksThe sergeant sighed as his steely gaze
2002 Aug 5Eyelash RadioNecessity's the mother of invention
2002 Aug 6Behind Beelzebub's Backyard'Make mine mink,' said the Minotaur
2002 Aug 7Gartled Invertebrate Forum'Subtle', spelt with seven Ps
2002 Aug 7Carp of a Thousand DrumsExactly how surreal do you fish?
2002 Aug 8Transplant for Triplets (Under Local Anaesthetic)The funny thing is, remarked Smith
2002 Aug 16Stupid PolarThe rain it raineth every day
2002 Aug 21The Obverse EquivalentThe dark cathedral shivers
2002 Aug 23Fortissimo EpilogueWhenne that Julye, with its weather bloodie
2002 Aug 24Another Hairless Igloo ObjectsReplace mine injured planet
2002 Aug 28Infested by Dali SpecialistsWhen nuns collide, then is the time
2002 Aug 30Artem and IAccipiters offend her by slaying unborn lepus
2002 Aug 30Frau Jung Was My MainstayDonkey shot, the French would call it

September
2002 Sep 9Mix My ChickensTorn off a strip
2002 Sep 10Side-Salad MechanismsAs the world wheels it way around the sky
2002 Sep 10Ill-qualified for HopingDodging through the rainbows
2002 Sep 14Loaf Mumbles LoafPunished for his extra ears
2002 Sep 20Anniversary Epithets (if any)August the eighth, Oh August the eighth
2002 Sep 21Our Lissom LaureateWhen you wish upon a stoat
2002 Sep 23Sharing Lulu's BreakfastGuile ... beyond its main intent,
2002 Sep 24Because Bane BarksOutside the gates of Norwich
2002 Sep 24Machine Coffee: Grounds for DivorceEstimate the water's depth
2002 Sep 25Whenever Scant Plenitudes ProvideHe so rotten, she so vain
2002 Sep 28By Any Drowned PavilionGuacamole, whose brindled haunch
2002 Sep 29Escstatic, DogmaticShe declared herself democratic,
2002 Sep 29After the Empire, Nothing NewCushions – when their time has passed

October
2002 Oct 1Conference for Solo BanjoI sent a parcel trhough the post?
2002 Oct 2Grappling infrequently with the engine-driver's antibodiesThese comedy moths
2002 Oct 3Not LoversVentriloquists with salmonella
2002 Oct 3On Pandora's BonnetPerhaps I should have told her, perhaps she should have seen
2002 Oct 3Evensong, worn thin through scraping'Nautilus shall be my theme',
2002 Oct 3Aldershot's Unhappy History of Gardening CompromisesMine is not a ranicd bun, served steaming on a plate,
2002 Oct 3Impersonating Nelson for Fun!As fine a feast as man has known
2002 Oct 3This Lunch-Box of FateWhen toast-eating poets have eaten their fill
2002 Oct 3Wheezing MatildaWhen I was old, and on my tongue
2002 Oct 4Let's Beat Up ApsleyA cardboard egg tastes just as good
2002 Oct 4Why not experience leprosy first-hand?There is deep water everywhere
2002 Oct 4The Victorian PhilistinesThe entire world is as a foreign place
2002 Oct 4Towards the Sloping PlanetTo say that he was fat would be
2002 Oct 5Erupting Like FlamingoesGone, the subtle;
2002 Oct 10Trouser LeopardFrowsy Frederick did foretell fate,
2002 Oct 10Chaos Theory DisprovedCarp for breakfast, hake for tea:
2002 Oct 10Laundresses, Basements, and PythonsGullible wretches, so polished and pure
2002 Oct 10Knitting Vol-au-ventsWars are documentaries now...
2002 Oct 11ManifestedPerhaps I'm not so odd
2002 Oct 14Laconic as PestilenceMarge sees not her hem's afire,
2002 Oct 15Nonsense Sharpens Your RefrainHearlding a century of filth and gore,
2002 Oct 15Underneath SeattleBazooka? Not in my bit of jungle!
2002 Oct 21Electon'Cobblers, plain bloody cobblers', the fireman roared,
2002 Oct 22Telephone in a Wishing WellI woke up this morning as blue as your eyes
2002 Oct 22Mr. And Mrs Kruschev's Treasured Collection of Victorian Iron PulloversBenjamin Braddock got carried away
2002 Oct 22Rescued From My DefectsThere upon the ceiling, in a pattern rich and rare,
2002 Oct 28Only if the Circle TurnsSuch a cruel summer! On cool heaths
2002 Oct 28This Way, Lord ByronIt's a long haul to Christmas, a long time to toil
2002 Oct 29Dali's Baby Next TimeThe vandal! I dread
2002 Oct 29Cedric the WaitressA notorious threnody pleases
2002 Oct 31Raptures of Our Lady BromideLet her curl up and sleep on the railway

November
2002 Nov 1A Virgin's Twelve TesticlesSuch a vile winter! Warm in nooks
2002 Nov 4Longings for CelibacyHow hideous the passion!
2002 Nov 5Queen Adelaide's Shapely BozosTwas' once the perfect time for wrath,
2002 Nov 6A Contest for Castle CustardThe goat came down from the hill-tops
2002 Nov 6Surlaw Sha'n't Contribute Veterinary VouchersPerhaps I'm not so odd
2002 Nov 6Peeping TomcatTo drill through the crust of The Hague
2002 Nov 8Impressions of the National Arthritic GalleryMy fourteenth friend cannot be seen from here
2002 Nov 12Epitaph for an Asymmetrical Arrrangement of BearsTie them to the bowsprit? With a scratched CD?
2002 Nov 12A Fourth Shortcake DetectorContinuous as the sharks that dine
2002 Nov 12The Submarine HorizonsA biscuit and a cup of tea
2002 Nov 12A New Golem SchoolYour lack of understanding
2002 Nov 12Defeated by Professors of UsurpationOne escalator, one canoe:
2002 Nov 12Against Wheat-craftHere, in Glasgow,
2002 Nov 14Seasons IntemperateIf ever I should leave you, it might as well be now
2002 Nov 14Sign RiseToffee dipped in chocolate, by the wastrel's hand,
2002 Nov 15Halibut WithoutI ate my salad in a huff:
2002 Nov 15Pension Rites After SexMy metaphor is drawn from ice
2002 Nov 15Civic Pyjamas AkimboWhile editing the alphabet
2002 Nov 18Earthenware ThinkersBehold her single in the field
2002 Nov 19Shake My GarnishLet us go then, you and I,
2002 Nov 19My No Nonsense DreamA Roland and an Oliver!
2002 Nov 21Britney's in PurdahWhen poets strive against the muse
2002 Nov 22Sing for Switzerland, Salesperson!Blue Degrees or Royal Arch, in time,
2002 Nov 23Lent Spent in ClaptonCanons to the right of me, and deacons to the left
2002 Nov 25On UndiesQuality control for underwear,
2002 Nov 26Matter, Not MarmiteBurnt his fez upon the pyre?
2002 Nov 27Cactus MotheringThe lawn was laid
2002 Nov 27Bluebells for Another DayBehold the poet, in her shack!
2002 Nov 27Wenches, Rogues, WrestlersNot spacious, like a blunderbus
2002 Nov 27Digging Around The GraveyardFor once a poem with no drawn-out themes
2002 Nov 27From Prussia Without StampsMercator's projection had one tiny flaw
2002 Nov 27Lechery's Not a Primary FoodstuffSome alphabetty spaghetti
2002 Nov 27ShrivenMost cats repent of all their sins
2002 Nov 27Chutney FeathersWithout my knife and apron,
2002 Nov 28Hertfordshire JokeI add some lard to every bath-time mix
2002 Nov 28Phenomenology for CarrotsMy philosophy is very clear
2002 Nov 28Urging My Example SlowlyShe placed the diamond on her toe,
2002 Nov 28Judith, A PolynomialIn my glass kimono
2002 Nov 29Heroic and AuspiciousIn Hastings, once, there should an elm,
2002 Nov 29Hugo's GoatsHideous smells
2002 Nov 29Swimming for PilgrimsWhat cloud through yonder window frowns?

December
2002 Dec 2Bereft Between WidowsMy love is like a red, red snapper
2002 Dec 3Life-Threatening Tuesday MorningsWhere is fester? What is he?
2002 Dec 5Knowing About AstromancyMy new Gemini space-craft leaks
2002 Dec 5Applause for Melodious MetalA female, young, of ill repute,
2002 Dec 6When the Spanish AttackWho dares cross the line?
2002 Dec 9Tendencies (Lapsed)Who pollutes the Muses
2002 Dec 9Documentary HighlightIn the depths of Epping town
2002 Dec 10Ho, Whoreson Pimp!The alphabet should be curtailed:
2002 Dec 11Shirley, My Wife for a DaySome caged bird squawks
2002 Dec 12Big Orchids In Dead MarriageMy dove, Suzette, she lays in wait
2002 Dec 12On My GuffPlease sir, stand downwind from me.
2002 Dec 12Venezuelans and Their Hated SistersChristmas gloom is coming soon
2002 Dec 14Having Stacy In SongWhy don't we rename Christmas?
2002 Dec 15Chocolate Elvis During SessionsOh! My sombrero is the finest,
2002 Dec 24Lincoln's Curry RidersThe plenitude of earthly thoughts
2002 Dec 24Because I've Died Peacefully EnoughA pint of Scruttock's in my hand
2002 Dec 27Where are Nelson's Aubergines?I put my trousers in the press
2002 Dec 31CaTacLySmi SPEAK in CAPITALS quasi-random

This page was last modified by Peter Christian, November 11 2009.