The Spoonbill Generator Archive
An Olden Treasury of Collaborative Verse
1996–2007
*** Hall of Fame — Alphabetical List of Titles — Index of First Lines
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The Spoonbill Generator ArchiveAn Olden Treasury of Collaborative Verse
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Poems by Year: 1996 -
1997 -
1998 -
1999 -
2000 -
2001 -
2002 -
2003 -
2004 -
2005 -
2006 -
2007 *** Hall of Fame — Alphabetical List of Titles — Index of First Lines | |
Poem: The Orange Poem | |||
Title | First line | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| 2003 Aug 2 | Who Hasn't Written Doggerel?! | Blank verse is but pretentious prose - discuss | |
| 2003 Aug 2 | Why Won't Secrets Reinvigorate our Parakeet? | Why won't you tell me | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | The Providence Networks | Thistly waysides line the primrose path of dalliance | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Dreamy | He was the man of her dreams - tall, dark and Estonian | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Stinky | Stinkbombs here and stinkbombs there | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Rhyme in Perversity | Forgive me if I sound perverse | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | The End of a Shrewd Heroine | There once was a cold winter knight | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Poetry Alloys | When composing a poem, one must | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | A Round | Higgle-dee piggle-dee pudding and pie | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Vacation for Gingersnaps | I took a trip to Ioway | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Seek the Shade, the Silence | In a garden of unrestful silence | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Frogs and Stale | The frog comes in on little fat feet | |
| 2003 Aug 8 | Mizzen Manhood | On board the good ship Mary Jane | |
| 2003 Aug 9 | Mistakes Always | Oh me oh my | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | Sadly Going Between Seasons | The empty swing still made arcs | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | Taxes, Always | Taxes, levies, tithes, and tariffs | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | Void White Truth | It is the blackest of blacks | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | Please Pass the Wrestler | It is an ancient wrestler | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | Goals and Perils | We have searched the world for treasure | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Replacement Of My Jaundiced Petticoat | Anyone asking about apples | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Hayseed, Huh? | Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Untitled, Entitled, Retitled | Untitled | |
| 2003 Aug 16 | Fish Brocade | Who needs rhetorical questions? | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | End And End | Three score and ten years ago | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Redneck Designs | Southern Astrological Signs | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | When | Here stands a giant | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | Disregard | Oh how I loathe thee, let me count the ways | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | Shameless? Us? | The incredulous bunch, the lot of them all | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | Pinaforesque | When I was a lad, I served my time | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Horace is What We Like | Would you like to waltz or samba? | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Washing Fish In My Underwear | So when are ya gonna make up yer mind? | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Scurvy and Varlets | I challenge you now with my swordTo the death! (well I'm really quite bored) | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | Misery Trains | Bill stood in Charing Cross looking at the departure board | |
| 2003 Aug 24 | Eager Beef | A toast by any other name is but burnt bread | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | Goatishness : A Change For The Better | Before I owned a goat-face mask | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | All My Complaints | My battery is draining | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | And Then the Next Animal | Ferdinand the Porcupine was quite a prickly fellow | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | Dimmer Switch Haikus | Compounded, as an alloy | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | I Hear Sousaphones Marching | Trombones are sounding in my sleep | |
| 2003 Aug 27 | Headless Parrots | When Granma discovered my dungeon | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | Onions Can't Cry | I've far too much hair on my head | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | Faintly Wild, Like Justice and Love | Let me describe the love of my life | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | The Gnomes Who Roll | Once upon a time, in a country faraway | |
| 2003 Sep 1 | Untitled | The proof of the rock | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | Webfooted Drive Through Town | On the night I was headed for townI went out and waved a cab down | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | Fandango Lashing | I've told you once, I've told you twice, | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | Crewcuts And Clangers | Gus Grissom ... wasn't he the one | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | Goose Nuts | Be like the squirrel | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | Yammering Agenda | My political agenda: | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | Sneezing | Arrrrghhh!!!! | |
| 2003 Sep 7 | Beer Gods | Thou still unopen'd flask of liquor, | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | Revisionist Shenanigans | In my cardboard cardigan | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | More Sweepings | Maybe now, or maybe later | |
| 2003 Sep 10 | Filling For That Apocalyptic Sandwich | Who ate my doughnuts? I could weep | |
| 2003 Sep 11 | Package Surprise, Not Surprise Package | Oft had I heard of Lucy Gray | |
| 2003 Sep 12 | The Premise for My Jellybean Guidelines | Sleep eludes me now | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | Courage, John! | Ray Harryhausen, in the days before attaining fame, | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | The Trouser Leg of Hell | I have measured out my life with tablespoons | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | The Hoity-Toity Envelopes | There was a young painter from Maine | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | Regardless of Their Appearance | The haiku beckons | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Trysting Without Thomasina | In my borrowed jacket | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Dystopia The Moose | In this city there are no angels | |
| 2003 Sep 23 | Isn't Doubt Corrosive? | Doubt is so corrosive | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Unlikely Gumdrops from Savannah | There once was a moose from Ontario | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Tumble Driers of Yesteryear | Wise men have been fooled | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Water Fingers | The Irish invented the limerick | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | The Queen Of All Chagrin | One bright September morning, the sky a crystal blue | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | How To Cook Vegetables | I may have to boil a turnip | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | Learned Sea | When halfway through swimming the channel | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Karma Rodents | Dreaming gerbils in the sawdust dream of you and me | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | A Simple Purveyor of Gaffes | Carpe diem, as they say | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Once You Forget My Name, A Strange Leathery Complexion Beckons | A man with a prong on his nose | |
| 2003 Sep 27 | Friday Goof-Off | Motivation now departed, though the day is not yet done | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | Agriculture Good And Bad | In the land where the brain-fart trees grow | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Fasting with Predictable Terror | For many years, this story has remained untold | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Have the Patience of the Broken | I'm building castles in the sky | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | Look, No Anatomy! | I looked at my feet and to my surprise | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | Bowling Nearby Stones | Stepping through a wall of mirrors | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Perspective Isn't All Unlikely | A tap on the spine | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Absorbent Syllables | Another year on, the question arises: | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | The Backwards Time | Myself when young did eagerly frequent | |
| 2003 Oct 4 | If Wishes Were Forces | Fix what is broken | |
| 2003 Oct 6 | Hammering On The Eyeliner | Kick down the door of the lipstick factory | |
| 2003 Oct 7 | Spread Your Ears Skiffle Junkies | Coughs and sneezes | |
| 2003 Oct 9 | The Dreaded Chair Gang | The sly London chair gang is at it again | |
| 2003 Oct 14 | Melted Rectories of Nyum-Nyum | On vacation, I saw a most Marvel-ous cave | |
| 2003 Oct 15 | Most Even-Handed Definition | impeccable: Can not be pecced | |
| 2003 Oct 17 | Songs of Prestigious Bill Giblets, the Whistling Tailor | I had my shoes shined in Chicago once | |
| 2003 Oct 19 | Disease Me | When one would look into your eye | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | In Vicious Family Circles | Oh papa, look! A jolly bruin | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | Just A Hog | There once was a pervert named Mick | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | Alright? | Hey Randy? Are you still up? | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | Mary Marmalade And Very Tasty Puppies | I make them go fast | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | Robert Faked Tough Choices | There was an old coot from Zimbabwe | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | That Later | Long and short: Venus emits gas at sunrise | |
| 2003 Oct 24 | Aperitifs to Drink When Meeting Your Maker | The mustard in my lemonade | |
| 2003 Oct 27 | Lawrence's Spaniard Fool | How hideous is the Spaniard | |
| 2003 Oct 28 | Go, Authors of My Lunch! | See how you like it, Mr. Black! | |
| 2003 Oct 30 | No Fry-up For Presidents | Jacques Chirac would eat no snack | |
| 2003 Nov 1 | Spooks Like Us | On Halloween lock all your doors | |
| 2003 Nov 3 | Hypochondria Isn't The Harlot's Proof | I think I have a broken leg | |
| 2003 Nov 6 | Rather A Pain For The Fairy | A piece of verse should pierce the soul | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Huddersfield Pie | Don't let that horse eat that violin | |
| 2003 Nov 8 | Is Confused By | Never did I dream that she would call a spade a spade | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | This Lame War Mixes Our Cement | If I understand you right, | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | Little Extremes Of Bedtime Cocoa | Shorter than the shortest book | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | Coma Compasses | A new indictment for the meek | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | The Metallic Allegory | Golden apples in a silver bowl | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | Jilted By Cheapskates | "I've saved you so much money, dear" | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | Whatever Is When | Wlatsome words were whispered | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | Inhaling Woolf's Ouevre | Don't revile me, don't come near! | |
| 2003 Nov 15 | Dictionary, You Mean | Poetry: in voice, a first! | |
| 2003 Nov 16 | Sorry, Sausalito | Sausalito | |
| 2003 Nov 16 | The Cauldron That Foils Such Weaklings As Us | I see your hoof prints on the stairs | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | When Things Deceive | Chamonix, beside the name | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | The Ill-drained Threesome | In the evening came the cycles | |
| 2003 Nov 19 | Swimming Upstream For Several Rhymes | Quietly humming his favourite tune, | |
| 2003 Nov 19 | Misconstruing Hullabalooing | When shining shoes, you really must | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | Fifteen Broken Things | One day my name will be up in lights | |
| 2003 Nov 22 | Fish Jam Voting | The elephants of Iceland were meeting for the talks | |
| 2003 Nov 22 | Solicitude Is For Featherweight Fools | Please, my dear, take off your coat | |
| 2003 Nov 23 | The Ontological Rabbit-hutch | Comparisons are odious, it has been said, | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | Blessings Aplenty For Apsley | God speed to you, fair travellers all | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | Bloodthirsty Tales And Unseen Lemons | I feel I must indulge in certain vices | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Clerihews Are More Fun Than Sex | Charles, the Prince of Wales | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Universally Horsewhipped | Venus and Serena | |
| 2003 Dec 1 | Hungry For Keys | Rowan is a wood that I can't eat | |
| 2003 Dec 9 | Bashful Statements Of Statehood | The denizens of Alabama | |
| 2003 Dec 10 | "Enough!" Said Old McDonald | Inspiration isn't need - not when you're a pote | |
| 2003 Dec 11 | Wahhh! Sob Sniff! | Not every poem can please each aesthete | |
| 2003 Dec 12 | Somebody Is Rotting | It seemed (to | |
| 2003 Dec 16 | Mythical Quest | In days of yore, when dragons roamed the world | |
| 2004 Jan 1 | Prejudices Coming To Your Local Works Canteen | Said aged King Lear | |
| 2004 Jan 4 | Betokening Bitterness | Love, shmov--I'm jaded now | |
| 2004 Jan 7 | A Wishlist For Clambakes | I hear that sluts from Milwaukee | |
| 2004 Jan 9 | Möbius Dancing | A cannon-ball into the pool | |
| 2004 Jan 12 | Snow Wheels | To those who'd venture off the brink, atop a fold-up scooter, | |
| 2004 Jan 15 | Anatomical Chaps | Vesalius, whose scalpel bright | |
| 2004 Jan 17 | Laundanum Language | 'Ulalume, ulalume,' said Edgar Allan Poe | |
| 2004 Jan 18 | End-time Octave | What time does the apocalypse start? | |
| 2004 Jan 18 | Oompah Tuba | I hear you like to polka with clubfooted gals | |
| 2004 Jan 22 | Forever The Syntax Omelette | The gas oven sings a sweet song to my leadened seratonin | |
| 2004 Jan 25 | Little Holly Sat Upon Her | I'm the only gay in the village | |
| 2004 Jan 28 | Thesis For A Standard Text | Said the shaman to the showman | |
| 2004 Jan 30 | Traditionally Devoted To Artificial Punctuations | Here in Freud's kettle | |
| 2004 Feb 5 | Two Hands Forwards, Two Peas Backwards | Once upon a noontime cheery, as I daydreamed hale and hearty, | |
| 2004 Feb 11 | Wandering Socks Found Wanton | When JB Priestley, in his bath | |
| 2004 Feb 13 | Dangerously We Fly | "What is your destination, child? | |
| 2004 Feb 16 | Once Lithuania, Once | In a cave, on a mountain so high | |
| 2004 Feb 23 | Pious Hens of Unknowing | What kind of men are these, with beards and balding pates? | |
| 2004 Mar 1 | Surprise Me Less | The trunk in the attic held something amazing | |
| 2004 Mar 3 | Middle Victorian | The generals are born again | |
| 2004 Mar 5 | Balderdash Brevity | Here's an ode to hogwash - to tripe and pure baloney | |
| 2004 Mar 12 | Away Game Voyeurism | People are bloody ignorant apes! | |
| 2004 Mar 22 | Several Chemistry Sets | Bromide in the afternoon | |
| 2004 Mar 23 | Peptic Ulster | Later than the final hour | |
| 2004 Mar 31 | Onwards, Henrietta Dawson | I carry Hank, my freeze-dried hake, | |
| 2004 Apr 14 | Who Dares Grins | Before expiring, Genghis said: | |
| 2004 Apr 15 | The Danish Word | The lonely Swedish man | |
| 2004 Apr 15 | Beard Recognitions | Friends reunited | |
| 2004 Apr 15 | Dragonfly With Diamonds | We who were not bound to rhyme | |
| 2004 Apr 20 | Upstream Into Camberwell | So clumsy, so clumsy | |
| 2004 Apr 28 | Unsettled Directions | From the Baltic, travel North | |
| 2004 Apr 29 | Ghastly Appendages | Oh, it's all quite ghastly | |
| 2004 May 7 | Liquid Never Flinches | So plaintively you ask if this | |
| 2004 May 10 | Shelley: Drowning Was Enough | The weight of any bantam | |
| 2004 May 21 | We Flee Toward The Far Journey | It is time, I think we'd all agree, | |
| 2004 May 24 | Circus Accountants | Dreary, dreary dogs | |
| 2004 May 27 | Aspirated Eyeball, Innit? | It started with a glottal stop | |
| 2004 May 29 | Cautionary Tales For Young Hotshots | How many times must I tell you? | |
| *** | 2006 May 30 | Phoenix, Bored | Is no-one here to waken me? |