The Spoonbill Generator Archive
An Olden Treasury of Collaborative Verse
1996–2007
*** Hall of Fame — Alphabetical List of Titles — Poems by Colour
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The Spoonbill Generator ArchiveAn Olden Treasury of Collaborative Verse
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Poems by Year: 1996 -
1997 -
1998 -
1999 -
2000 -
2001 -
2002 -
2003 -
2004 -
2005 -
2006 -
2007 *** Hall of Fame — Alphabetical List of Titles — Poems by Colour | |
Index of First Lines | |||
| First line | Title | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Poems open in a new window | |||
| 2004 Dec 14 | "A pox upon thee, wretched cur!" | Dickens Saith | |
| 2004 Dec 14 | "A pox upon thee, wretched cur!" | Every Third Word Recited Effortlessly (Canticle ) | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | "Better", I told him, "you had left your seed unsown" | A Vagabond Lacking Cunning | |
| 2003 Jun 20 | "Chocolate! Give me chocolate!", the woman screamed | If Cocoa Couldn't (Allegory) | |
| 2003 Dec 30 | "Compliments of the season" annoys me beyond reason | Why Not? Your Knots Do! | |
| 2004 Feb 17 | "devolve prolific coconut" advised the sophic spam | Habits Of Old Liberals Foregone | |
| 2003 Nov 23 | "I must remove that oil stain" muttered the piebald rat | The Frozen Meow | |
| 2003 Oct 19 | "I never think when I can talk," | Mary, Nary, Oh-So-Scary | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | "I've saved you so much money, dear" | Jilted By Cheapskates | |
| 2003 Aug 8 | "It was so kind of you to come! | And And And Whimpering | |
| 2003 Jul 27 | "It wasn't meant to be," the woman sobbed. | Wish To Be | |
| 2003 Dec 3 | "It's coming...like Christmas" they said | Things Like Cigars | |
| 2004 Oct 14 | "Love me or leave me," my girlfriend remarked | When Nagging Seem Treasonous | |
| 2003 Jul 26 | "Relax", I say, but they never obey | People Ran for the Butter | |
| 2004 Dec 31 | "The End is near!" the Bellman cried | Pointless Goodness | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | "The proof is in the pudding," or so I've heard it said | Mugging For Pennies | |
| 2004 Feb 13 | "What is your destination, child? | Dangerously We Fly | |
| 2004 Jan 4 | "Wherefore honkest thou," said I, "although in neighing guise?" | Without Looking Twice | |
| 2004 Mar 16 | "Why do you carry hamsters in your pockets?" demanded Mrs. Pringle | Because I Am Seesawing | |
| 2003 Jul 27 | "You smell bad, Father William," the young man said, | Parental | |
| 1996 Dec 27 | '"Inertia"? What a charming name!' | The Lilliputan Comb | |
| 2004 Jun 22 | 'A Fiery Flying Roll', you claim | A Very Lodestone | |
| 2001 Aug 7 | 'A ton of prunes, a pickled egg, two muskets and a globe?' | Washed and Dried in Time | |
| 1998 Mar 16 | 'A' was an Arctic Abacus | Z's Bequest (The Gamut) | |
| 2000 Nov 2 | 'Bring me a fish with a pear in its mouth!' | When Shoes Falter | |
| 2002 Oct 21 | 'Cobblers, plain bloody cobblers', the fireman roared, | Electon | |
| 2002 Mar 25 | 'Craddock's Cat Biscuits are finer by far!', the radio blared | Cacophonic, Electric, Adamant | |
| 2001 Oct 7 | 'Cusp' she spelt | The Duplicitous Dumpling | |
| 1998 Jan 23 | 'Don't carry the coal to the amethyst pool, | For Tadpole Perkins | |
| 1999 Apr 24 | 'Festival of shouting!', so barked the trusty swain | Romeo's Disagreeable Collapsible Peregrinations | |
| 1999 Aug 6 | 'Give me back my arquebus!', cried Randolph Great the Third | For My Bunny Rabbit | |
| 2000 Oct 16 | 'Give me the buzz!' I shrieked in blunt Welsh | Tents Erected in Plymouth Sound | |
| 2000 Feb 7 | 'Handle not the lesser fruit!', so spake the chieftain bold, | Sugar Hates Recollections | |
| 2004 Mar 23 | 'Here are the gum-boots you ordered, madam!' | Subtle With Hotdogs | |
| 2001 Dec 7 | 'I hear you have a speaker-phone' | Skywards in Epping's Impenetrable Parkland | |
| 1997 Mar 25 | 'I wonder', mused the conqueror, 'why lemons seldom sing' | My Gallic Endorsements | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | 'Incontinence for all!' | Only Our Gambits Shall | |
| 1998 Mar 31 | 'It is with most intense regret | Beyond Homespun | |
| 2000 Mar 31 | 'Just the place for a Snark!', the Boatman cried | Vacuity's Gin Rots One's Pudenda | |
| 2002 Jan 16 | 'Leave me @peace.com', my nephew cried, | Grandiose Gestures, Futile Drivel | |
| 2002 Aug 6 | 'Make mine mink,' said the Minotaur | Behind Beelzebub's Backyard | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | 'Mediæval frolics in the gym?', the porter queried, | Classes Unusual In School Environs | |
| 2004 Jan 16 | 'Mr Spaceman, can't I travel, | With Our Dentures Firmly Detached For Whitsuntide | |
| 2003 Jan 10 | 'My suspenders came from France...', the naughty minx confessed, | With Alewife Entwined | |
| 2002 Oct 3 | 'Nautilus shall be my theme', | Evensong, worn thin through scraping | |
| 2001 May 30 | 'Pine kernels, artichokes, tuna, beef and cheese' | Unlikely Spectacles Watch On The Firm | |
| 2004 Feb 4 | 'Quite a clump,' he summarised | Borders For Uncle Monk | |
| 2002 Aug 7 | 'Subtle', spelt with seven Ps | Gartled Invertebrate Forum | |
| 2005 Dec 8 | 'The first day of the rest of your life', they sang, | Piebald Cheques | |
| 2002 Jan 16 | 'The stratosphere is not so near,' | Beckettt's Crispy Pacific Noodles | |
| 2003 Oct 15 | 'This watch you sold me for a pig - | Disaster and Cheek | |
| 2004 Jul 30 | 'Tis the ebbing of the eyes | Gloucestershire Throughout Devon | |
| 2001 Nov 20 | 'Tis time! 'Tis time! The deed is done | Frogmen Imminent | |
| 1997 Jan 4 | 'Twas a frothy foam upon the wake | My Favorite Plunderings | |
| 2000 Apr 27 | 'Twas brillig and the coach and four | Slithy Again | |
| 2003 Nov 30 | 'Twas Christmas in the workhouse | Often During Christmas | |
| 2002 Jan 9 | 'Twas on a moonsoaked midnight | The Reborn Tuna Despair for Mayonnaise | |
| *** | 2003 Oct 20 | 'Twas on the 8th of August that the taxman came to call | Dignity for Sixty Six Possible Consonants |
| 2004 Jun 2 | 'Twas Pope who wrote that angels fear | Dunciad Variorum | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | 'Twas zillig and the mangrove whips | Whackerwocky | |
| 2004 Jan 17 | 'Ulalume, ulalume,' said Edgar Allan Poe | Laundanum Language | |
| 2000 Jan 5 | 'Well, stap me vitals!' swore William Hague: | Melt-Down Happens Nightly | |
| 2000 Jul 11 | 'Why have you tied up Granny?' the little girl was asked | Henderson's Decline | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | (haiku) Little lips and toes | Thaw | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | (haiku) Three rings on my nose | Omphalos | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | (haiku) When once I stood upon | Untitled | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | (haiku) He spoke haltingly | Uncertain | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | (haiku) I think your feet stink | Stinky Feet | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | (haiku) I've forgotten much | Phew, Too | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | (haiku) Seven plumquats sit | In Nougat | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | (haiku) Why must you insist | Existentially Imbued | |
| 2003 Jul 21 | (limerick) There was a young maiden from Venus | Planets of Repeated Sincerity | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | (limerick) I knew an old gal from Quebec | Untitled | |
| 2003 Jul 29 | (limerick) There was an old lady from Wales | No More Edible Pope | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | 102 poems in just over a week - do none of you sleep? I'm ready to weep | Blasted Poets | |
| 2001 Jan 21 | 6 x 6 - from wall to wall | Shutters Fold Tightly Again | |
| 2006 Sep 6 | This poem is dedicated to the memory of Marmaduke Apsley | The Surplus Blondes In Swindon | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | Andromaque: 'twixt bloodied sheets | Gene Pylons | |
| 2006 May 15 | Catch 22 | The Weather Of Mine Heart | |
| 2003 Dec 14 | Cold, you say? | Sorry Excuses | |
| 2005 Sep 27 | Envoi | Prematurely Concluded | |
| 2003 Dec 29 | A 21st Century Christmas Carol | First Glimpse Of Summer This Autumn | |
| 2006 Feb 10 | A basement, and a base intrigue | Boots Were Made Before Souls | |
| 2006 Jun 16 | A beach-ball and a pancreas | Lettuce For Sodomy | |
| 1997 Jan 22 | A beast with two backs | Seemly Onions | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | A big bloke called Gojko the Serb | A Journey | |
| 2002 Nov 12 | A biscuit and a cup of tea | The Submarine Horizons | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | A bleeding broken heart | Never Wake, But Often Dreams | |
| 2002 Jan 8 | A box of lead, filled up with stones, | Three-thousand Tall Blonde Pastries | |
| 2002 Jul 24 | A brass ring through the eye-lid | While All Those Has-Beens Dance | |
| 2004 Jan 29 | A burst of poignant doctrine | Mayoral Heart-throbs | |
| 2004 Jan 9 | A cannon-ball into the pool | Möbius Dancing | |
| 2002 Apr 14 | A caramel pig once sat on the throne | Melting Pot Ritual | |
| 2002 Oct 4 | A cardboard egg tastes just as good | Let's Beat Up Apsley | |
| 2006 May 23 | A carrot lay upon the bank | Into The Vegetable | |
| 2007 Jan 16 | A carthorse, baked in bread | Fly Nightmares | |
| 1997 May 18 | A Case of Riotous Block | A Snail Keeps Shop | |
| 1999 Jul 18 | A Cautionary Tale | My Slapdash Endgame | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | A corset for the cranium | What The Great Are | |
| 2003 Sep 17 | A costive agent knows too well | A Meadowlark Crumbling in Basalt | |
| 2003 Oct 29 | A day in the life of... | Secretly, in Aberdeen | |
| 2006 Jul 6 | A dinghy's captain, fearing wreck | Socialists Challenging A Shutdown | |
| 2007 Apr 11 | A dozen spindly orphans | Pop Goes My Rotten Hamster | |
| 2004 Aug 27 | A drooping, stealthful melody | The Least Suspicious Concertina | |
| 2000 Jun 12 | A feast of fumes, a feast of fumes | Our Ugliest Newly-Weds Disgust Me | |
| 2002 May 1 | A feather riding high upon a wave of breeze | Big, Dangerous Camel | |
| 2002 Dec 5 | A female, young, of ill repute, | Applause for Melodious Metal | |
| 2005 Jul 22 | A fledgling wasp once took the time | Mated By Happenstance | |
| 2004 Aug 30 | A flibbertigibbet you are, aha! | Travelers That Float | |
| 2003 Jun 18 | A flock of hungry magpies came | Turned on by Ghostwriters | |
| 2003 Sep 1 | A French kiss from the Blarney Stone | Chipping Proverbs | |
| 2002 Jul 12 | A friendly leaf once gave me quite a fright: | Immediately to the North of Dorking | |
| 2002 Jul 10 | A frond of bracken in the hair | Whistling Tortoises | |
| 2003 Dec 21 | A frozen smile has crossed her sullen face | Subzero Igloos | |
| 2004 Nov 14 | A gentleman of oriental character | Hittite Words Of Unforgiving | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | A gerbil in a racing car | Arts Other Than Those I Cherish | |
| 1997 Dec 14 | A ghastly mismeasure of woman, | Of Struggling Poets and Pious Days | |
| 2001 Dec 21 | A glass of claret twice per day | Orphans Drinking Deftly | |
| 2004 Jul 9 | A globe for tea, crammed high with brine, | North-east Is Henceforth Banished | |
| 2004 Mar 16 | A granite sheet does not get crumpled, | To Your Abiding Toadstools | |
| 2006 Jul 31 | A grave is not a flowerbed | Malodorous Relatives By Night | |
| 1999 Feb 2 | A grey seal, with grace of an eel | Ferdinand's Elm | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | A handsome young mackeral, named Frank, | Fishy Outlaw Escapes | |
| 1999 Feb 3 | A harsh law, or an honest law? | Tenacious Loip | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | A healthy meal of beans is the way to start | When a Door is Drunk | |
| 2002 May 16 | A Hindu Deity is often blessed | That's the Ticket! | |
| 2001 Jan 15 | A is for the alligators alcoholically inclined, | Ode Scribbled Rudely by Lennon | |
| 2000 May 24 | A kangaroo I used to know | Anti-Dandruff Cornflakes | |
| 2000 Nov 22 | A kangaroo tried in a wallaby court | Meanwhile, Back Under the Duvet... | |
| 1997 Feb 6 | A kiss and a cuddle | Aphorisms for Unseen Swine | |
| 2001 Jul 27 | A lamb-chop once asked me | Surprise Ending | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | A limerick often is dirty | He-she me? | |
| 2004 Sep 8 | A limerick written by me | The Snowman Assassinated By Fibreglass Mittens | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | A line of sawdust or cocaine | Fructose Frogs For Little Boys | |
| 1998 Jun 8 | A man in blackface wandered into the hall | Sausages in Strangeness | |
| 2003 Dec 29 | A man must walk down twenty roads | Windy City Icicles | |
| 2004 Dec 8 | A man once played my didgeridoo | Parts That Require Frequent Calibration | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | A man with a prong on his nose | Once You Forget My Name, A Strange Leathery Complexion Beckons | |
| 2003 Nov 29 | A man with a prong on his nose | The Proper Toes | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | A masterpiece will now unfold | Time and Chance Combine in a Shocking Display of Crudity | |
| 2003 Nov 27 | A mesomorph, a mesomorph | Your Own Secret Body | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | A mighty creature is the wife | Exceptional Disgrace | |
| 2004 Jul 21 | A mile or so beyond | Dreams Of Soup Kitchens | |
| 2001 Jan 11 | A monstrous sneeze assails the ears | Sunday, We Confess | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | A mothball larger than the sun | My Other Lifetime was a Thing Foregone | |
| 2004 Jun 25 | A muse might amuse us | Subliminal Telemetry Wasted | |
| 2003 Dec 2 | A narry stight, a brentle geeze | Dyslexia Is A Condition Much Like Nay Other | |
| 2007 Mar 9 | A nasturtium, rambling fine and crunchy, | Never Meant to Harm | |
| 2004 Jan 26 | A new bordello - civic, clean - is what Wisconsin needs | Argument For Exceptions | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | A new indictment for the meek | Coma Compasses | |
| 2006 Apr 4 | A night of perfect chaos | Powers That Remain Potent | |
| 2002 Oct 29 | A notorious threnody pleases | Cedric the Waitress | |
| 2002 May 16 | A packet of cheese defies the knife, | Apparent Crimes | |
| 2003 Jun 21 | A paper, a line, a bubble, a tin | Awakening the Aluminum Jetsam | |
| 1998 Jan 30 | A parent who neglects the tasks | Conical Catharsis | |
| 2003 Nov 2 | A pattern is emerging | Pirates And Self-Loathing | |
| 2005 Jan 6 | A pelvis drowned in custard | I Surface Behind The Lamps | |
| 2003 Oct 17 | A pennyweight of muskets scattered on the dock | The Pennyweight Sauce | |
| 2004 Mar 25 | A pepperoni sandwich from the Pope | Cardinal In Error | |
| 2000 Dec 23 | A perfect wedding in the snow | My Raving Virgin | |
| 2000 Nov 3 | A pestilence, a nuisance, a wretched waste of time! | Spartan Opinions Devour Our Siblings | |
| 2004 Feb 5 | A pickle I wanted, and yet that darn lid | Wresting Joy From Daily Pickles | |
| 2003 Nov 6 | A piece of verse should pierce the soul | Rather A Pain For The Fairy | |
| 2001 Nov 17 | A pint of gin to steel the nerves | Lenten Orgy | |
| 2002 Dec 24 | A pint of Scruttock's in my hand | Because I've Died Peacefully Enough | |
| 2000 Feb 8 | A plethora of penguins is rarely to be found | Bottomless Yachting | |
| 1999 Sep 23 | A Plutonian plutocracy, a demonized democracy, | Anathema or Assonance | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | A poem sat, neglected, unloved | Stop | |
| 2004 Jan 15 | A poem without the same old format | Non-invasive Skins | |
| 2003 Apr 17 | A poem's frail corpse is like a tree | Carefulness Begets Sincerity | |
| 2004 Jan 3 | A pot of glue left me unstuck | Cocker Mouthwash | |
| 2001 Jun 20 | A pound of cheese is just the stuff | Pointless Noses | |
| 2003 Nov 2 | A pound of grease is just the stuff | Recommendation To Decline Molloy's Meringues | |
| 2003 Nov 3 | A pound of osmium breaks all banks | Lawfully Invalidated Fishing Permit | |
| 2004 Feb 3 | A puma won't return the gaze of Rilke | Caspar Caged | |
| 2000 Jun 20 | A rabid armadillo with a beanbag on its head | Vacuum Cleaners Constructed Entirely Out Of Anabaptist Dogma | |
| 1999 Dec 14 | A random collection of words | Screaming by Rote | |
| 2003 Jul 10 | A red hen, convinced that her eggs were sublime, | Ketchup Alchemy | |
| 2004 Nov 25 | A revolution, velvet-lined, | Wenceslas Is Square Enough For Most | |
| 2002 Nov 19 | A Roland and an Oliver! | My No Nonsense Dream | |
| 2003 Jun 19 | A rushing tide, a rushing tide | Uneven Recipe | |
| 2001 Jul 20 | A saucer of sour milk for my companion! | Misspelt Youth Syndrome | |
| 2005 Nov 13 | A secret door | Goodfellow Moses | |
| 1999 Jan 30 | A shrew without wings | Earth Telegram | |
| 2000 May 1 | A silver bird, set in a leaden sky | Abhorrent Paradises | |
| 1999 Mar 6 | A simple thought occured today, entirely on its' own | Sugared Death Watching | |
| 2005 Jul 12 | A Singer of Rats was elected | Starting Northwards, In No Uncertain Protocol | |
| 2001 Nov 17 | A slice of bread, varinshed with wax, | Leave Meetings Behind | |
| 2002 Jul 17 | A slice of cake, soaked in madeira, | Lent Without Sister Amelia | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | A small chunky moon drifts or perhaps | Relativity In Guise Of The Moving Moon | |
| 1999 Jan 25 | A small crimson telephone quivers | Sensible Noses | |
| 2005 Sep 1 | A small explosion | Detonating Error | |
| 2003 Nov 23 | A small incision in the chest-wall | Never Knowingly Renounce Walk-on Parts | |
| 1998 Sep 19 | A snowman, weaned on Castor Oil | Epitaph for the Ninth Night Shift | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | A sodium glow smolders in the sky | Apocalypse (Soon) | |
| 2006 Jun 11 | A song for hake, an anthem, ho! | Testimonial Of Unrest | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | A stack of broken furniture is set ablaze tonight | Spoons Succumb To Fawkes | |
| 2005 Jan 19 | A subpoena has been issued (you were asking for it) | Plausibly Roguish | |
| 1997 Mar 23 | A summer's day, there comes an errant knight | Upon Losing Worlds Of Azure | |
| 2006 Sep 1 | A superhero needs a cape | Your Villain In This Style | |
| 2004 Mar 26 | A surgeon addicted to soup | Otherworldly Newsagent With Or Without Croutons | |
| 1997 Jun 7 | A table of kinship for all the world's cats | Fifteen Oblique Whiskers | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | A tap on the spine | Perspective Isn't All Unlikely | |
| 2004 Jun 30 | A thesaurus was stoned to death, a diction'ry was raped, | Maidens Irritated When Their Purity Runs Out | |
| 2002 Mar 15 | A thimble, filled with tepid brine | Thus Spake the Dingo Baker | |
| 1999 Mar 23 | A third knee is a mighty boon | My Boatswain's Left Baboon | |
| 2003 Sep 1 | A thousand opportunities | Even Time Will Have to Tread the Path | |
| 2000 Jan 4 | A thousand years and each one gone | Dome Settling Dimly | |
| 2004 Oct 8 | A tide of rash assumptions | Not Allowed In Our Picnics | |
| 2003 Aug 24 | A toast by any other name is but burnt bread | Eager Beef | |
| 2004 Jun 1 | A venerated halibut consecrated mass | Sing Soprano Like They're Sniffing | |
| 2003 Oct 14 | A vessel most unfit for sea | Blamobilog's Last Return | |
| 2003 Oct 24 | A walk in the park is all very nice | Perhaps You Think I'll Hide | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | A walking shrub shall grace our shores | Dubious Peacenik | |
| 2000 Nov 8 | A wallaby, tried in a kangaroo court | Failure Threaded By Screws | |
| 2002 Mar 5 | A waltz a day is not enough | Negating | |
| 2001 Jul 29 | A waterfall, in which the whale | My Oceanic History | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | A weakness for detail | Mail-Room Mystery | |
| 2004 Jun 23 | A whipping-boy | Singing For Our Tea In C | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | A wistful moment | The Elemental Blimey | |
| 2001 Nov 22 | A wooden Gospel, baked as bone | Once Knighted, Twice Blighted, Thrice Sighted! | |
| 2004 Aug 23 | A young anthropologist cried | Nuptial Mishaps With Long Knives | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | Aborted in its prime | Underwater Clouds | |
| 1997 Jan 12 | Above the burning snow | Tomorrow Hardly Trying | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Abrasively, your parrot squawks | Unless You're The Household Pet | |
| 2002 Aug 30 | Accipiters offend her by slaying unborn lepus | Artem and I | |
| 1999 Nov 12 | Achilles stole my hobby-horse | Fermenting the Woman from the Surgery | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Ack! My poetic license has been revoked! | Verse Justice | |
| 1999 Apr 15 | Acres of acrid slime do not make a garden | Uncle Gomez's Dinosaur Eggs | |
| 2000 Jun 13 | Across the hills a cry rang out: | To Hypnotise Badgers Bereft Of Discretion | |
| 2003 Dec 9 | Across the rolling Irish hills, he rode for Dublin-town | Whatever Is Your Pleasure | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Across the time-zones, rhymesters meet | Sweet Global Soup | |
| 2005 Sep 19 | Action is as action does | Charity Enough For Now | |
| 2004 Dec 11 | Adam and Eve had reason to grieve | Watery Flapjacks, Damn It! | |
| 2007 Jan 15 | Add a fraction from the jar | Recipe For A Very Quiet Airplane | |
| 2004 Sep 7 | Add some resin to the pulp, and deftly stir: | Culinary Experts Seldom Agree | |
| 2001 Aug 17 | Add your own line to the poem | Very Figurative | |
| 2004 Aug 17 | Affectless nomads | Nomads Are Only Upright Hayseeds | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | After searching high and low, I finally found | Toothy | |
| 2006 Jul 28 | Again, at the cathedral | Such Gravitas Is Wasted | |
| 2003 Nov 22 | Against a sky of brooding green | The Ancient Dreams Of Ken | |
| 2004 Feb 20 | Agnes played the cymbals, three nights a week | Flawed Inheritance | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | Ah, your onyx eyes and sequined purse | Other Pubic Grindings | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | Alan Aardvark ate apples | Cremated For Bystanders | |
| 2003 Jul 26 | Alas! Oy vey! My tires are flat | The Bitter End (Alas I Died Homeless) | |
| 2003 May 1 | Alas! The Golden Treasury has been looted | Looters | |
| 2005 Aug 8 | Algorithms for the blind | Apparatus For Removing Apparatus | |
| *** | 1997 Nov 25 | Alice frowned; all around, leaves were falling to the ground | Alice's Peculiar Revenge |
| 1998 Apr 24 | Alice threw the looking-glass | Alice's Adventures in the Improbability Pie | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | Aliens squirted mustard in my face | Alien Hissy Fit | |
| 1999 Oct 14 | All dressed up and nowhere to go | Ahab Still Got Those Almighty Moonshine Blues | |
| 2004 Jan 11 | All I crave is a little attention | Forgotten Blips Of The Ages Neolithic | |
| 2006 Jan 26 | All is confirmed | Another Round Of Hand Puppets For Reelection | |
| 2006 Jan 26 | All is confirmed | Off Kilter | |
| 2004 Jan 12 | All is quiet; my morning cup of tea is steaming in my hands | Quietude Is Surrender | |
| 2004 Jan 14 | All is quiet; my morning cup of tea is steaming in my hands | Tugged Up | |
| 1999 Sep 7 | All right he said, I think I will | Renaissance Dental Imperfections Gallery | |
| 2002 Jan 3 | All the lonely people | Mackenzie is Certainly Faster | |
| 2001 Dec 12 | Alone | Stanley Knife, Solid Flesh | |
| 2001 Sep 24 | Along the mute canal | Cartwright's Innocence Unleashed | |
| 2001 Jan 6 | Alphabetic poetry often can | Finnegan's Ascending Nostril | |
| 2000 Jan 29 | Although her skull is squat and flat | Her nerveless dressing-table, regarding which | |
| 1999 Jun 11 | Although our raft is still marooned | Wetness, Damp Socks, and Prawns | |
| 1997 Dec 12 | Although you're tall, and gifted | But Actually... | |
| 2003 Oct 9 | Among the elbows, as a rogue | Honestly, If Anyone Dares Mention Earwax Again... | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Ampersand, I love thee | Empty Promises among the Symbols of the North | |
| 2000 Jun 9 | An addictive personality | When It's When | |
| 2004 May 27 | An adman amiably asserted | After Backward Cause | |
| 2005 Feb 9 | An agéd man in green I saw | Skin For Us Those Infidel Shareholders | |
| 2003 Jun 17 | An airworthy albatross alights atop an arch | Another Darwin | |
| 1999 Jan 24 | An amphora of Egyptian darkness | Music Shadows Repetitively | |
| 2001 Jan 9 | An ant always admires actors | A Prawn Parading | |
| 1997 Dec 9 | An arbitrary asp might say, | Breakfasting Traditionally | |
| 2006 Jun 22 | An awful example of verse | Grave Mayhem | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | An empty page is | Drooling Without Dementia | |
| 2004 Aug 27 | An escapee from sanity: that's me | Poorly Bohemians After Supper | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | An inauspicious bread-line debut | Where Computations Love Cabbage Soup | |
| 2004 Oct 4 | An omission, in the dyke, | Ruinously Enough | |
| 2003 Oct 11 | An overpriced player called Rio | Rearward Facing Gum Machines Realise Their Cosmic Purpose | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | An uncle, all carbon | A Relief | |
| 2005 Jan 27 | And here are the pictures | The Christmas Milkmen | |
| 2003 Jun 16 | And I thought it might be morning | Perhaps | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | And now I leave this lunchtime land | Disoriented | |
| 1998 Mar 23 | Andante, my love, for we've hours a-plenty | Buns | |
| 2004 Sep 1 | Andromeda, I cry to thee | Plans For Nobody | |
| 2001 Oct 2 | Angels in the centrifuge | Very Old Highlanders | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | Angry aged alsations | The Alphabet Tastes Best Cold | |
| 2004 Jul 19 | Annie Lennox drove my car | Disco Infernal | |
| 2003 Jul 26 | Anonymously the poems flow | Travelling with Someone | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | Another buck; the symbols spin | Londoners In Vegas | |
| 2003 Sep 21 | Another call from Abraham | Input Commandments | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | Another new poem, now what will it be? | Synthetic Harmony, Synthetic Reflections | |
| 2004 Apr 25 | Another Red poem commences | My Slide Transmission | |
| 2003 Jan 12 | Another riposte | Commentary Arising From My Previous Uncials | |
| 2003 Mar 28 | Another thousand syllables | Tendentious Reassurances | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road | Growing Like Bacteria | |
| 2003 Nov 5 | Another web, another fly, another day has wrapped - yet I | Pray For Dinner | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Another year on, the question arises: | Absorbent Syllables | |
| 2003 Nov 27 | Anthony Blair | Grudges Over The Family Fishing Rights | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | Anthony Brown caused doubts everywhere | Alphabetically Defined | |
| 2003 Jul 9 | Anthrax! Anthrax! cried Frau Schmetterling | Chronic Sparrows of Pathology | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | Ants are smart, oh they're smart, oh they think they're so smart | Cactus Ants | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Anyone asking about apples | Replacement Of My Jaundiced Petticoat | |
| 2002 Jul 10 | Apostles of the menopause | During Gordon's Last Gloaming | |
| 2000 Apr 5 | April is the cruellest month | Heather Eliot's Bottom Line | |
| 2000 Nov 23 | Apsley wrote a novel about a small baboon | My goodness... my gumboot | |
| 2000 Feb 29 | Arabella Spommit and her shapely cousins three | Apsley's Painful Direction | |
| 2000 Apr 9 | Arabella Spommit had a cat made out of cheese | Radishes Cloned My Goat! | |
| 2000 Apr 5 | Arabella Spommit had three cousins slim and tall | Fraternal Greetings To Reverend Cuticle's Oppossum | |
| 2000 Apr 4 | Arabella Spommit was a temptress, all allure; | The Cakes, The Knife | |
| 2000 Apr 9 | Arabella Spommit wrote her cup-size on a mouse | My Warning Ignored | |
| 2003 Nov 3 | Archaic persons, flummoxed | Disaster Contest | |
| 2001 Oct 10 | Architecture! Drifting slow | Saved By The Old Handbags Again | |
| 2005 Dec 8 | Are you going to Scarborough Fair? | No Thanks, Kenneth | |
| 2006 May 15 | Are you prepared to reveal | Men Without Equations | |
| 2004 Apr 18 | Arnold Berry, quite contrary, | Nursery Rhymes for Lawyers, Juries and Judges | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | Arrrrghhh!!!! | Sneezing | |
| 1997 Feb 17 | Art serves to remind us all, | Artless | |
| 2004 Jul 22 | Artichokes stop chasing, when the sunset glows, | Horticultural Adages Designed By Sadistic Schoolmarms | |
| 2000 Jan 3 | As Christmas nears I lift my pen | Protracted Metrical Hermeneutic Festivities | |
| 2002 Oct 3 | As fine a feast as man has known | Impersonating Nelson for Fun! | |
| 2002 Jan 2 | As he jumped from the peak of the mountain of Slibb | Lately Confused Shirts | |
| 2000 Jul 22 | As I was going up the stair, I met a froglet tall and square. | Mr Stilton Stalks The Underground | |
| 2000 Jul 10 | As I was walking all alone | Totally Dissimilar Sausages (With Mustard) | |
| 2003 Jan 24 | As lame as a fish | Orfeo The Ineluctable | |
| 1997 Mar 5 | As Maya turned the page | Maya's Misty Watercolor Blues | |
| 2000 Jun 1 | As the bland computer whines | Bangles in Temptation | |
| 2004 May 13 | As the orders start to dry | Better Lettuce Forthcoming | |
| 2002 Sep 10 | As the world wheels it way around the sky | Side-Salad Mechanisms | |
| 2007 Feb 26 | As to orientation I've begun a new élite | Interface Not Found - Contact the Librarian | |
| 1997 Sep 10 | As we crested the brow of the ultimate hill | Highgate Hopeful | |
| 2003 Dec 3 | As we know, there are known knowns | I Admire The Willingness | |
| *** | 1997 Feb 21 | As we starve in our secret Alaskas | Dreaming of a Swamp and the Holy River |
| 1999 Mar 23 | As we waited for the bus to mow the wicked postman down | An Entropic Encroachment | |
| 2007 Feb 5 | As with gladness men of old | Escapades That Truncate Themselves | |
| 2004 Sep 14 | As with gladness men of old | Not Princeton, Nor Any Other Halls Of Improvement | |
| 2004 Dec 10 | As with so many medicinal jokes | Towards Our Preordained Tenements | |
| 1997 Feb 24 | Ask anyone about my woes, | Insensible Blandishments | |
| 2005 Feb 4 | Astride a blazing horse | Over And Outhouse | |
| 2006 Jun 15 | Astride a red-hot anvil | How Many Such Openings Have We Squandered? | |
| 2006 Jun 3 | Astride an ice-cold anvil | How It Was Before | |
| 2003 Jan 22 | Astride the edge of any knife | What Are Flemish Trousers? | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | At 4 o'clock on Sunday, with nothing much to do | Semantics Alone | |
| 2004 May 9 | At a quarter past one on the fifteenth of May | Surprise Dentistry | |
| 2006 May 12 | At altitudes like these | Only Lagging | |
| 2001 Feb 27 | At dawn we slew another pig | Captain Scott's Implosion | |
| 2004 Jul 2 | At first, it seemed an ordinary day | The Tale Of Squabbling Archangels | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | At Halifax, the Muses gather round | The Pretentious Structures For Tasting My Oeuvre | |
| 1996 Dec 16 | At Hampton Wick | More Heretical Bombast | |
| 1998 May 2 | At last I have the chance to spread my wings and versify | Once We Devoured Magma | |
| 2004 Aug 19 | At least it isn't hailing | Friday Night Aspirants | |
| 2005 Jul 18 | At seven Gs | Heave Aside Our Plundering Pharoah | |
| 2004 Apr 2 | At the age of thirty-seven | Faithful Enough Before Lunch | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | At the crack of day when the baby birds do sing | Practise The Birdy | |
| 1999 Feb 8 | At the end of my tether I fastened a kite | From... | |
| 1996 Nov 1 | At the risk of sounding spiteful, I shall tell you what I think | Jail-mouth Slime | |
| *** | 1999 Dec 24 | At this festive, glowing season | You'll be a Laughing-stock Tomorrow |
| 2004 Aug 20 | At this time, most every day, | Meringue-laden Exclamations | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | At times the truth may not appear the best approach to take | Putting the Carthorse Before Zen | |
| 2004 Feb 15 | Atop my desk, her portrait stared | Unblinking Again | |
| 2004 Jun 1 | Atop the hill the castle stood | Raindrops Keep Dripping On The Photoshoot | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | Attend the tale of Jack the Lad | The Intent Of Noses | |
| 2000 Aug 14 | August presence or August presents, what will be thy choice? | Birthdays Passed Without Mints | |
| 2002 Sep 20 | August the eighth, Oh August the eighth | Anniversary Epithets (if any) | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Aussie rock lyric challenge | Not Yet Nice Enough | |
| 2003 Nov 1 | Avast me hearties! Haul away! | Yo-Ho-Ho, Piratical Barnacles | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | Awake ye slumberers, and greet the day | Morning is Dead | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Awake! for midnight at the witching hour | Tick | |
| 2005 Feb 22 | Awake! Before the porridge starts to burn! | The Alphabet Artfully Reconstructed From Bedsprings | |
| 2000 Jun 23 | Away on the heather'd down | Unseen Behind Ourselves Again | |
| 1999 Dec 19 | Away! Here's neither inn nor manger | On Heat For Months | |
| 2005 Nov 16 | Awestruck in the horse-truck, | Guile In Any May | |
| 2004 Oct 20 | Babbling as the brook in spate, | His Lady Grammarian | |
| 2004 Sep 1 | Back at the beginning | It Never Raineth On The Holy Fool | |
| 2004 Aug 27 | Back at the beginning | Not What It Seems | |
| 2003 Jan 30 | Balanced calm across the bay | Zen Roots | |
| 2004 Jul 9 | Banalities, encountered twice, | Hideum Cat | |
| 2006 Feb 22 | Bandsaw. Egret. Alpenstock. | Slighted By Angels | |
| 2005 Sep 24 | Banish poets? To The Pole? | Platonic Scooter Or Worse | |
| 2003 Oct 15 | Barmy rain lady, why stand in the rain? | Yesteryear Forgotten | |
| 1996 Jul 1 | Barquentine of Arkansas, the dismal oaf here, | Voluntary Pith | |
| 2006 Jun 22 | Basingstoke is mentioned in Henry 4 Part 2 | Distressing | |
| 2002 Oct 15 | Bazooka? Not in my bit of jungle! | Underneath Seattle | |
| 2004 Jan 20 | Be glad that Wall Street's closed today | Whom To Enchant? | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | Be like the squirrel | Goose Nuts | |
| 2004 Aug 27 | Be loyal to your captain, soldier: he was once a man like you | Boot Cramp Without Due Cause | |
| 2006 Aug 31 | Be not so blue, my dainty dove, | Cried The Idyll | |
| 2006 May 22 | Be wary of the snigglewats | Jabberwocky, The Lyrics | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Beans, beans, the musical fruit | Phew! Poodles! | |
| 2006 Jul 28 | Because I could not stop for Lunch | Market Anomalies Perpetrated By Emily Dickens | |
| 2004 Jul 1 | Beckham, Rooney, Owen and Scholes | Defenestrating Our Noisome Entertainers | |
| 2003 Jun 17 | Bedevilled by mosquitoes | Caramelised Jamboree Bags | |
| 2000 Nov 21 | Beefy, Loaf and Costorphine all went upon a jaunt, | Favourite Cheese-Mongers | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | Before enraptured earthworms find you | Don't Align Me! | |
| 2004 Apr 14 | Before expiring, Genghis said: | Who Dares Grins | |
| 2005 Apr 14 | Before I close this inquest | We Wish You Joy Of Haggis | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | Before I owned a goat-face mask | Goatishness : A Change For The Better | |
| 1997 Aug 29 | Before I sensed this vacuum | Your Gerbils, My Hotelier | |
| 2000 Mar 11 | Before taking part in this scandalous hoax | The Dismembered Thumbs | |
| 1998 Mar 18 | Before the dawn, the darkest hour | Homer, Art Thou Heat and Lightness? | |
| 2005 Feb 16 | Before the gullet goes to ground | Ever Onward Through Muck | |
| *** | 1999 Oct 16 | Before the porcupine descends | The Knight who Rode a Goat to Barcelona |
| 2006 Jun 12 | Before you read the second line | Monday Present | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | Begin again: restart anew | The Gods Of My Great Grandfather | |
| 1998 May 9 | Behind each King or potentate | Benedict the Monstrous Toadstool | |
| 2004 Dec 9 | Behind the bandstand, when we dared | The Hurricane That Tore Our Beloved Condominium From Its Very Foundation | |
| 2004 Jul 13 | Behind the grizzled pine | Weather-vane Warning | |
| 2003 May 18 | Behind the nipple's cruel intent | Laughing Down by the Maelstrom | |
| 2005 Jul 30 | Behold a scone that I have baked! | Duodenal Backwater | |
| 2002 Nov 18 | Behold her single in the field | Earthenware Thinkers | |
| 2003 Dec 29 | Behold mankind, how fragile it's life | Ignoring Problems | |
| 1998 May 14 | Behold the frugal cactus | Frugal the Frog | |
| 2007 Jan 24 | Behold the Lamb of God | Exegetical Heresies | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | Behold the poet, in her shack! | Bluebells for Another Day | |
| 2004 Jun 1 | Behold the scold: | Nepalese Danceuse Observed Using Stun-guns | |
| 2004 Jun 24 | Behold the spineless fossil | Deaf Though They Be Dubbed | |
| 2004 Sep 3 | Behold! | Sages Of Most Definite Hopefulness | |
| 2006 Jan 11 | Behold, the Fifth Amendment | How Silently, How Clumsily | |
| 2001 Nov 22 | Being a tomato-knife | Let's Have Time to Fondle | |
| 1998 Mar 2 | Beneath the tea tree sits the gnome, | Jesus pondering a delightful catachresis | |
| 2001 Jan 9 | Bengeo is just the place to start a bitter feud | Her Northampton Boudoir | |
| 2002 Oct 22 | Benjamin Braddock got carried away | Mr. And Mrs Kruschev's Treasured Collection of Victorian Iron Pullovers | |
| 2006 Jul 18 | Beringed, beribboned, clad in silks | Void Of Open Finery | |
| 2003 Dec 23 | Bespectacled, mustachioed--a man nondescript | Someone Who For Once Is Not Averse To Changing Lanes | |
| 2003 Sep 10 | Beth and Lee got hitched in Vegas | A Romatic Ending | |
| 2005 Aug 23 | Betrayed by movements in the dark | Why We Ought Not To Bellow Faintly Throughout Our Dinner | |
| 2005 Aug 12 | Betrayed by movements in the dark | The Shark-infested Handbag | |
| 1997 Jul 9 | Betrayed! The voyeur's curtain | One Last Later | |
| 1997 Nov 28 | Between the barns, half-buried | Clustering (Algorithm Played on a Gumby) | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | Between the kettle and the cot | Tea With Cartoons | |
| 2004 Jan 10 | Between the pilot and the prow | Allowing Rembrandt His Fish Supper | |
| 2004 Jun 3 | Beyond the reach of kettle-leads | Bailiff Only Because | |
| 2001 Apr 24 | Bianca grabbed me by the throat, and said I was a little stoat: | Billiards, or Might My Love Be Undying? | |
| 2004 Jun 30 | Big Brother watches the housemates perform | If If Why When How Who | |
| 2005 Dec 12 | Big fish, tiny pond | Aspire To Life | |
| 2003 Jan 28 | Big stuff is going down, dude | Groovy Chicks Abound Herein | |
| 2004 Jun 2 | Bigfoot saw the racehorse | Intensify The Passion For Ophthalmology | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Bill bought broken bric-a-brac | Mosquitos Hatched by Homework | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | Bill stood in Charing Cross looking at the departure board | Misery Trains | |
| 2003 Aug 24 | Bills are overdue, your car has broken down | Glibness for Fakenham | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | Billy Mays here, Folks, to tell you about an incredible new product: | Air Is Saleable To Those Who Don't Care | |
| 1998 Feb 9 | Bind me to a broken bench | The Moon Promises My Friend an Apricot | |
| 2003 Jan 4 | Bisexual biplanes bifurcating | Xenophobic Popping | |
| 2004 Sep 10 | Biting on a leaden shell, I contemplate my doom | Cheery Thoughts About Society | |
| 1999 Mar 8 | Blamirog was wondering about the Blessed Isle | Blamirog's Prophetic Landfall | |
| 2003 Aug 2 | Blank verse is but pretentious prose - discuss | Who Hasn't Written Doggerel?! | |
| 2004 Feb 24 | Blend one part soot and two parts salt | Who Drank My Sorbet? | |
| 2001 Oct 3 | Blended with the hint of curling smoke came release | Hidden Are Our Own Inept Performances | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Blessed are the spoonbillers | Blessed are the Circular | |
| 2005 Jul 25 | Blesséd fragrance, of the Nile, | Tartlets In Custardy | |
| 2002 Jan 15 | Bloody machine! Why won't it behave? | Typist's Lament | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | Blossoms the color of bruises | Redemption of the Radishes | |
| 2002 Nov 22 | Blue Degrees or Royal Arch, in time, | Sing for Switzerland, Salesperson! | |
| 1997 Apr 17 | Blue notes pour from the sax in the corner | Toxic Fishpudding Blues | |
| 2002 Jan 22 | BNW, dreaded term, infects my thought | Heavier Than Hymnodists | |
| 2003 Dec 12 | Body-rot, on crocodiles | Pies And Astrolabes | |
| 2002 Feb 7 | Boil my leg before you go - | Heroic, We Know Nothing | |
| 2005 Feb 23 | Bold insurgence swept from coast to coast | If Perchance | |
| 2002 Jan 18 | Bones and twigs and a perilous ascent | Love Icily Visible | |
| 2001 Nov 1 | Born with magic pubic hair | Television Penis Disenfranchisement | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | Borneo in a biscuit-tin | Tsarist Biscuits, Long Ago | |
| 2004 Apr 24 | Bowls of mustard lined the hall | Piquant Hostesses | |
| 2004 Apr 23 | Breaking down barriers and opening doors | Iconoclasts Rarely Gain Entry To Disneyland | |
| 2004 Aug 9 | Breathlessly, you claim to be | Buns Beyond Sunset | |
| 2000 Nov 25 | Bright she was | Stories, Confabulations and Tears | |
| 2000 Nov 25 | Brighter than the cabbages | Dustbins Spilt Diamonds | |
| 2001 May 21 | Bring me an egg-whisk, and sand-blast my shoes! | False Tales of My Calumny | |
| 2006 Mar 2 | Bring me the bones of a man who is broken | Injunctions To The Barricades | |
| 2005 Jan 15 | Broad pretensions, on the board-walk, | Stealth For Newfound Cheeses | |
| 2004 Mar 22 | Bromide in the afternoon | Several Chemistry Sets | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Brothels on the hill, tra la | Untitled | |
| 2004 Jul 2 | Bruno's head, a perfect sphere | Danish Polka | |
| 2001 May 14 | Bubbles float up grassy-treed slopes | Flange Matrix - Paradise Of The Stars | |
| 1998 Oct 24 | Buckets of mud and acres of slime are all that I need | Caroline Rembrandt Remembered Backwards | |
| 2005 Nov 18 | Buckets of slime | Pleasure for Godmothers | |
| 1997 Jul 30 | Burn my Waiting-List | Surplus Penguins | |
| 2002 Nov 26 | Burnt his fez upon the pyre? | Matter, Not Marmite | |
| 2001 Dec 23 | Butterfingers Battersea | Behind Bermondsey Bridge | |
| 1997 Sep 20 | By 'Custody' I do not mean | Echoes Echoes, Without | |
| 1998 Mar 9 | By chance, are you going my way? | No Parsley for Matilda's Fruitcake | |
| 1999 Apr 5 | By dint of subtle mime | The Leather Ambulance Crumbles | |
| 1999 Jan 25 | By dint of subtle mime | Very East Nineveh | |
| 2000 Apr 4 | By dressing up in surgeon's robes | Suction By Toothsome Lip | |
| 1997 Apr 15 | By leaving no margin for error | Horse-Face Shrike In Lonely Dialogue | |
| 2000 Apr 12 | By portents, like the sun's eclipse | Your Undoing | |
| 2002 Feb 4 | By the black infernal Styx I sat | Pay for Teddy-bears | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | By the time you read this message | Gargled End | |
| 2003 Apr 30 | By way of insulation | Cross-talk Knavery | |
| 2000 May 22 | Cadences so swift and deft that man could hardly follow | Plangent Daily Wailing | |
| 2007 Apr 12 | Cakes of soap, or cheese with cake, | Little Claimed | |
| 1999 Apr 24 | Calesthenic interprobes are launched into the Sun | Unwound wherries aloft | |
| 2004 Jul 14 | Calisthenic ribaldry shall not win you the prize! | Fail By Then If Never | |
| 2004 Sep 19 | Call me a quack | But For Us And Them | |
| 2006 Feb 22 | Call your mother now and then | Lesbian Cookbook Virtues | |
| 1999 Jan 22 | Calm throat fortune | Zen Catfood | |
| 2000 Jun 25 | Calypso, on her vaulting-horse | Underneath The Forest Wall | |
| 2003 Sep 21 | Camille, thou most elegant doorstop | Toes of Paraffin | |
| 2004 Apr 26 | Can this be it? Can Spring be here? | Looking Lively And Feeling Crap | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | Candidates Promises | Clique That Promises Exploitation | |
| 2002 Nov 23 | Canons to the right of me, and deacons to the left | Lent Spent in Clapton | |
| 1998 Nov 26 | Canterbury? No, it does | The Labyrinthine City | |
| 2004 Jan 7 | Captain Mesmer brought me 'round | Despite Themselves | |
| 1997 Sep 15 | Cardboard | What if the Princess Can Seem Sentient Without Dissembling? | |
| 1998 Jan 27 | Carefully, she folds the fish | Night's Temporary Wrists | |
| 1998 Feb 24 | Carmelites! Before we know | WHat Further Unsightly Turbulence Awaits Below? | |
| *** | 1999 Feb 9 | Carnivores, despite the laws | The Lewd Mouths Squeal |
| 2003 Dec 8 | Carol took my G.I. Joe and hitted him with a stick | Rude Feminism | |
| 2002 Oct 10 | Carp for breakfast, hake for tea: | Chaos Theory Disproved | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Carpe diem, as they say | A Simple Purveyor of Gaffes | |
| 1998 Mar 22 | Carpenter's, my only hope, | Prayer Wheel Poker | |
| 2001 May 1 | Carrie was an acrobat who fell upon her head | Tumbling Kills. Water Falls. | |
| 1998 May 17 | Cartwheels begone! From shattered climes | Putresco's Wondering | |
| 1998 Dec 2 | Carve this thought upon the bark | My Bahnhof Godparent | |
| 2002 Jan 7 | Carved in frozen gasoline | Mitochondrial Ne'er-do-wells | |
| 2000 Nov 27 | Cashier, change this love-note | Ninepenny Lithuanians - A Rhapsody | |
| 2000 Feb 7 | Casually, through the wall | No Thinner Knot | |
| 2004 Jul 12 | Catachresis in the crypt | Tea-room Trumpery | |
| 1999 Mar 20 | Catastrophe has happened on a scale that Pride forbids | Cessations in Cocktail-Waitressing | |
| 2007 Mar 2 | Catechresis mumbles, in the final act, | Duplicitous Herrings in Identifiable Watercourses | |
| 2004 Oct 5 | Caught in cobwebs, smothered by your love | Since We Are Seldom Decoded | |
| 2004 Feb 5 | Cease to sway | Farewell, Mutiny | |
| 2001 Sep 12 | Celebrate good times? | Dense, Dense, Dense, Dense | |
| 2003 Dec 12 | Céline, we'll make a fortune if you'll sweat into this vat | Smells Like Parfum | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | Chamonix, beside the name | When Things Deceive | |
| 2002 Jan 28 | Champagne was flowing down the stairs, perhaps. | Who Wobbles Behind the Arras? | |
| 2000 Feb 2 | Champion of the photograph | Negative Elbow | |
| 2003 Oct 13 | Changed the channels 'til my fingers bled | A Lacklustre Paragon | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Charles, the Prince of Wales | Clerihews Are More Fun Than Sex | |
| 2004 Oct 22 | Charlie the cheerful chicken | Clucking Behind The Bicycle Sheds | |
| 2005 Jan 28 | Chastising priests becomes a sport | Puberty Before Breakfast | |
| 2003 Sep 6 | Chatting can be difficult | Persistent Fading | |
| 2003 Oct 7 | Cheer up, here's Mister Milk | Cheesecake Factory Tour | |
| 2001 Nov 23 | Chief among the mammals | Areas Of Devoid | |
| 2001 Dec 12 | Chief among the mammals | Behold Our Anglican Remainders | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Children put on your thinking caps | Untitled | |
| 1997 Apr 6 | Chiropracters, anarchists, and sheep | Regarding Mr Slick | |
| 2004 Nov 18 | Choice apples, red or lilac, I now eat | Rediscovered Unchanged | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Cholera, my only friend | Death, Shrug Off the Useless Punctuation | |
| 2002 Dec 12 | Christmas gloom is coming soon | Venezuelans and Their Hated Sisters | |
| 1997 Nov 29 | Christopher Robin was captured by those | Requisite Tragedy | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | Chrysostom ... wasn't he the saint | The Chrysostom Cathedral | |
| 2005 Mar 31 | Chucked up, chucked out | Our Vectors Ineptly Computed | |
| 2004 Jun 2 | City slickers in the sunlight | Afternoon Delight Until Midday | |
| 2005 Oct 31 | Clams are not my favoured dish | Vongole Al Limone Con Funghi | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Close to the railway, hidden by bushes | Spies Seeking Heat in Arabia | |
| 1998 Oct 5 | Clothing for the absent mind | Unfamiliar Hair-brushes Gurgle | |
| 2006 May 25 | Clunk! Whrrrrrrr. Zzzzng. | What Loving Euthanasia | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | Clutch as clutch can | Cluttered Nemesis | |
| 2003 Dec 7 | Clutched against her breast | The Great White Blancmange Of God | |
| 2006 Feb 23 | Clutching and screaming they summoned you hither | We Can All Escape From This Hotel | |
| 2003 Jun 21 | Coconuts are hard to peel | My Habitat of Unkempt Mincemeat | |
| 2005 Jul 12 | Coddled mushrooms, all a-simmer, | My Priapic Milestone | |
| 2005 Jan 4 | Coded in the final hour | Cycling Behind The Traces | |
| 2003 Oct 7 | Coffee grounds in the sink, the drain webbed with hair | Coffee On My Yardstick | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Coffee mugs are breeding grounds | Mugged | |
| 2004 Oct 26 | Cold crustaceans, diving deep, | Effortless Abyss | |
| 2004 May 11 | Colossal, in a home-made hat | Zarathustra Lurking In The Out-tray | |
| 2000 Nov 19 | Colours anniversary | Though Bereft of Blossom | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Come | Markup Over Sense | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | Come an' listen to a story 'bout a man named Jake | My Painful Bass | |
| 2002 Apr 19 | Come into the garden, John, for the dark bat night has teeth | Tennyson's Untreated Butane Vat Goes Whoosh | |
| 2004 Jan 14 | Come on baby, let's | Yeah, Wow, Gollly, Gee, Gasp, Yep, Indeedy, Shucks | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Come with me, My Love, and see good Nature's fairest flow'r | Happy Ode to Love Unbounded | |
| 2004 Nov 29 | Come, let us dance, just you and I | Hypothesis Epsilon | |
| 1998 Feb 17 | Come, Luggage! There's a curious world I'm longing to explore | Borrowing Twilight | |
| 2001 May 30 | Coming back from London Zoo | Whenever Angels Return to Hampshire | |
| 2003 Nov 23 | Comparisons are odious, it has been said, | The Ontological Rabbit-hutch | |
| 2004 Jan 25 | Competition in other places | Implacable Northerly Padrés | |
| 2003 May 17 | Complacent as a senator | Management Facilitates, Managers Collide | |
| 2003 May 15 | Complacent as the Minotaur | Succulent Retching | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | Compose a line: especial moon | The Anagrams Of Our Jumbled Selves | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | Compounded, as an alloy | Dimmer Switch Haikus | |
| 2004 Aug 27 | Comrade railcar | Welcome To The Never-ending School | |
| *** | 2004 Mar 8 | Congealing in a fusty box | A Mile Beyond The World May Be A Maiden |
| 2000 Jan 25 | Consumed by Lust, whose second course | Abandoned Frightfulness | |
| 2002 Nov 12 | Continuous as the sharks that dine | A Fourth Shortcake Detector | |
| 1999 Apr 4 | Conversations are a winding down of time for most, | Homer Retranslated | |
| 2005 May 4 | Cookies and biscuits, crackers and buns | Doughboy Graduates | |
| 1999 May 8 | Cooler than the outer wall | Major Karamazov's On Call | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Corky has a brand new wife | Untitled | |
| 2004 Jan 15 | Corporation. There we go | Reversed In The Wash Of Fortune | |
| 2005 Dec 15 | Corset strung as tight as tight, | Hosiery On Half-forgotten Nuns | |
| 2000 Nov 6 | Costorphine was a Cuttlefish | Bribes Inspire Returning MPs to Define Themselves as Caterpillars | |
| 2003 Oct 7 | Coughs and sneezes | Spread Your Ears Skiffle Junkies | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Could I borrow just a minute of your time? | Ballad of Vermillion Dances | |
| 2006 May 12 | Could it be summer's here? | When London Rose | |
| 2005 Jan 24 | Could you possibly close your sweet mouth as you chew? | Trap For Attractive Babes | |
| 1999 Feb 4 | Count to ten, then start again | My Earliest Barnacle-Busting Memory | |
| 2000 Feb 13 | Cover me with asphalt as they do in Donegal! | Kenneth: My Monster Pilot | |
| 1999 Apr 16 | Cowboy and Chabot are on the go! | A Bergsonian Lullaby For Cats | |
| *** | 1997 Apr 30 | Cracked, but half asleep | Ovaltine Cannot Age My Kitten |
| 2004 Jan 24 | Crayfish, lobster, crab | Paternity Proves Nothing | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Crewcuts, pompadours, bouffants, and mohawks | Favorite Wigs | |
| 2005 Oct 5 | Criticism - from the ranks - | Associations Lend Their Chevrons | |
| 2004 Mar 30 | Crumpets, muffins and baguettes | To Heroic Bakery | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Cry wolf | Untitled | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | Curtains for the front of house | Oak-worm Veneer Heathcliff | |
| 2007 Jan 21 | Curves aplenty, on the bed, | Not Nubile, Not Shadows | |
| 2002 Sep 29 | Cushions – when their time has passed | After the Empire, Nothing New | |
| 2000 Mar 6 | Cut away, cut away | My Smothered Haggis | |
| 2002 Mar 20 | Cuttlebone, my next of kin | Revenge of the Defecating Cutlery | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | Cyberspace is crumbling | Superhighway Of Discontent | |
| 2005 Jan 26 | Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, damn, DAMN! | Enough Said: The Undershirts Finally Arrived | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Damned hypocrisy! In truth I hate them all | Sanctum Inviolate | |
| 1996 Dec 15 | Day breaks like a condor's egg | Soar, churlish repetiteur! | |
| 1997 Sep 14 | Dead as any dodo | Lockjaw Imminent | |
| 2005 May 3 | Dear, pour me out a single cup of tea, | Blimey, Guv | |
| *** | 2005 Jan 11 | Delightful news! An heiress to the line | Welcome To Darci |
| 2006 Sep 26 | Demanding menace with a payment, | The Cauliflower Nuisance | |
| 2000 Dec 19 | Demons of the centrifuge | Eagles Can Never Despair | |
| 1998 Jul 27 | der Reim lernt eine neue Sprache | Neugierig, oder? | |
| 2003 Sep 16 | Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face | Pub Coquettes | |
| 2005 Aug 12 | Despite a severe anaesthetic | Nostrils, Each | |
| 2004 Aug 27 | Despite his utter shabbiness | Westwards In Search Of Undiscovered Pastries | |
| 2004 Apr 2 | Despite this aberration, sir | Canine Bearing | |
| 2003 Jun 23 | Dial 'Clockwork' for disturbance | Considering Its Woodpigeons | |
| 2004 May 12 | Diapering tushies is really a bummer | Motherhood In The Pasture | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Did you ever wonder why | Questioning Before | |
| 2000 Dec 13 | Dinner jacket,, morning-suit | Getting to Loathe You | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | Disappear into the mist! | Vanishing Dustbins In Dagenham | |
| 2002 Apr 18 | Disorder met confusion | Detonated Milk-bottle | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Dispel those neverending qualms | Hope Squeals 'Wahoo!" | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Dispense with long narration | The Long Thin | |
| 2003 Nov 23 | Dispense with this vulgarity! | Disembodied Stuff | |
| 2004 Jun 22 | Divest yourself of all your wealth! | Lotteries Bring Us Little Snowdrops | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Do mugwumps ever feel the ache | Thoreau Toejam | |
| *** | 2000 Apr 10 | Do not cry, my darling, do not cry | Round/Arabesque |
| 2004 Feb 10 | Do not go gently into that goodnight | Baltic Bang | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Do not go husky into that bad flight | Menthols for Dinosaurs | |
| 2004 Jan 17 | Do not single out the fat for taking too much space | The Georgian Silhouettes | |
| 2003 Feb 20 | Doctrine of the spiral stair | Acrimony for Unknown Pontiffs | |
| 2002 Sep 10 | Dodging through the rainbows | Ill-qualified for Hoping | |
| 2005 Oct 23 | Does anybody come here any more? | Pending Further Guests | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | Does anyone look forward to September? | Time Calendric | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Does your skin keep you warm in the night? | Skin | |
| 1997 Sep 2 | Domestic bliss | Mozart once wrote the longest andleastenjoyable limerick ever to darken anthologiesof versification | |
| 2006 Aug 10 | Don't forget to tie your shoes | Never. Should We Windsurf | |
| 2002 Jan 31 | Don't give me your usual whinge! | Crying Again | |
| 2004 May 8 | Don't invade us till the dawn, | Thwarted By Occam | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Don't let that horse eat that violin | Huddersfield Pie | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | Don't revile me, don't come near! | Inhaling Woolf's Ouevre | |
| 2004 Jan 8 | Don't take offence at what I say, | The Giant Eyes Of Friendship | |
| 2003 Oct 15 | Don't think me ungrateful, but | Shaking Like Evaporating Milkmaids | |
| 2003 Dec 15 | Don't wear a cat for a hat | Misuse Of That Darn Animal | |
| 2002 Aug 30 | Donkey shot, the French would call it | Frau Jung Was My Mainstay | |
| 2003 Sep 14 | Dorian hung on my parlour wall | Ghosts for My Poster | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | Double-u double-u double-u dot | Wonders Nobody Knows | |
| 2001 Feb 16 | Doubled up with laughter, trebled up with woe | Palfreyman In Switzerland | |
| 2003 Sep 23 | Doubt is so corrosive | Isn't Doubt Corrosive? | |
| 2000 Jul 27 | Down in New York City is a craze that's hit the streets | B-Flat Tonsils | |
| 2003 Sep 23 | Down the gullet, soft and sweet | Further The Pope's Unwitting Conversion | |
| 2004 Feb 3 | Dr Who once gave me candy-floss to eat | Jelly-Babies Prefer Jelly-Parents | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Dreaming gerbils in the sawdust dream of you and me | Karma Rodents | |
| 2003 Oct 20 | Dreaming of a potted snipe | Avoid Our Stranded Cactus | |
| 2003 Jan 8 | Dreary as a paper towel | Please Not Sideways, Arabella | |
| 2004 May 24 | Dreary, dreary dogs | Circus Accountants | |
| 2004 Jul 1 | Dressing as a helicopter | My Cardboard Mother | |
| 2005 Nov 22 | Drinking round the clock | What A Nefarious Newcomer Might Not Instantly Perceive As Worthwhile Is Often Valueless | |
| 2005 Oct 15 | Dross of ages past is ours | Airworthy Kitchens | |
| 2001 Jun 28 | Drunken badgers and their TVs | I'm Washing Pyjamas for Lunatics | |
| 2003 Nov 29 | Dusty streets and peeling paint | Voluptuary Meter | |
| 1999 Feb 21 | Dying in Luxor with the Spoonbill chill | Crystal All Along | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Dyspeptic diehards turn me on | Untitled | |
| 2003 Sep 6 | Dyspeptic Malthusians are roaming about | They Came Third | |
| 2006 Feb 11 | E wrote slowly, R wrote fast | The Great Critics | |
| 2000 Jun 20 | Each time I use the word 'defer' | Nevertheless, Nuke the French | |
| 2002 Mar 3 | Echinacea, oil of rum, it's all the same to us! | Sausage Pouting Pictured | |
| 1998 Feb 10 | Edgily, along the pier | Thoughts of Poseidon's Daughter | |
| 1997 Dec 16 | Eleven, six or eight | It's Entirely God's Business | |
| 2003 Nov 19 | Elusively, they flit away | When Einstein Saw Madonna | |
| 2004 Jul 14 | Emblematic? Regal? Or a waste of space, | The Zimmer-frame Society | |
| 1998 Jan 31 | Emblems of the regal scorn | My Soothsayer's Impeachment | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Emergency! Emergency! | Emergency Headlessness | |
| 2005 Jan 9 | Emily and Sally, Kathy and Loureen, | Zeppo Lamenting | |
| 2003 Feb 20 | Emollient, conciliatory, I ventured | First Downtime | |
| 2006 Apr 7 | Engrossed by the maudlin | "How Curious!", Quoth The Melancholy Shrike | |
| 2001 Dec 13 | Enough of all this sniping, at the wizards great! | When hamsters stammer | |
| *** | 1996 Dec 16 | Enough of your brutal evasions! | Hectoring tripe |
| 2003 Dec 4 | Ergonomic chairs and beds are presently on sale | Cogito Ergo Pogo | |
| 2003 Dec 9 | Erotic gherkin, looming in the dusk | Carbuncle City From My Window | |
| 2003 Oct 14 | Escape these shores I must, and head for foreign soil | The Apologetic Polka | |
| 2002 Sep 24 | Estimate the water's depth | Machine Coffee: Grounds for Divorce | |
| 2007 Mar 29 | Ethel had the sharpest wit, | Ancestral Portraits: Girl Askance | |
| 2006 Mar 29 | Ether, real | Ethereal Sequence | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Every hepcat under heaven | Was the...? | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Every letter I have sent you | Begging for Wink | |
| 1997 Jun 14 | Every thing hath a beginning | South Margin Closed, Always | |
| 2002 Aug 7 | Exactly how surreal do you fish? | Carp of a Thousand Drums | |
| 2003 Dec 8 | Excuse me, darling, have you put on some weight? | Destiny In Pounds | |
| 2002 Apr 4 | Faint amalgam, fashioned quite | Hannibal's Eggcup | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Falafel was not feeling well | Garbanzos | |
| 1997 Oct 28 | Fancy Wills and Harry, | The One Incorruptible Servomechanism (The Princes' Mile) | |
| 2002 Jul 3 | Fang by nature, | After Misdemeanours | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | Far beyond the red-black morning sky | In Awe of Dangerous Lives | |
| 2003 Oct 19 | Faster than the human mind can ever comprehend | Go-Faster Waistcoat | |
| 2006 May 4 | Feasting on the gouts of blood | Louse, Louise | |
| 1997 Jun 28 | Feeling queasy, turning green | Why Force Can Rescue Folly | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | Feeling rather awkward, newly clad in neon eyewear | If Not Insouciance | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | Ferdinand the Porcupine was quite a prickly fellow | And Then the Next Animal | |
| 2006 May 11 | Fester, farewell | Fester, Farewell | |
| 2003 Jan 9 | Fifteen men on the Dead Man's Chest | Jolly Thirsty Pirates | |
| 2000 Aug 3 | Fill up my brazen pockets with the water of the Loire | Stuffed Pets | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Finally, the croissant burns | Something Sinful For Basildon | |
| 2002 May 28 | Finesse the Queen! Finesse the Queen! | Hearts, Like Crystals, Dissolve into Nothingness | |
| 2006 May 23 | First with the frost | None Save The Meistersinger | |
| 2003 Oct 4 | Fix what is broken | If Wishes Were Forces | |
| 2006 May 1 | Fleeting vision, yesternight, | Vienna In Pencil | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Flippant poignancy | Gravel for My Poignant Cotillion | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | Flutes are mainly known by their ability | Because the Orchestral Are Orchestral | |
| 1998 Jun 30 | Flying at thirty-eight times the speed of sound | Bedazzled by Our Daphne's Pebbledash | |
| 2000 Jan 14 | Folded like a deck-chair | Barbecue Sores | |
| *** | 2003 Nov 27 | Follow the players all over the globe | Misplaced Devotion |
| 2001 Nov 8 | For a man of the cloth | Clothes Pegs | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | For all of you that don't believe in unicorns | Belief Now! | |
| 2000 Feb 8 | For all your faults | Fencing Our Glass Baby | |
| 1998 May 2 | For Macbeth it were done quickly, | Inexpensive Shakespearian Blancmange | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | For many years, this story has remained untold | Fasting with Predictable Terror | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | For once a poem with no drawn-out themes | Digging Around The Graveyard | |
| 2004 May 13 | For the gloom that follows fire | Lest We Forgive Without Forgetting | |
| 2007 Feb 8 | For the Law was given through Moses | Whatsoever It Findeth North of Dunfermline | |
| 2001 Nov 16 | Forests crash about my ears | Unknown in Civilised Combat | |
| 2004 Feb 2 | Forget them all, their necks, their eyes | Pale Mutabilities Of Death In Wales | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | Forgive me if I salivate when Pavlov rings his bell | Why Forgive? | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Forgive me if I sound perverse | Rhyme in Perversity | |
| 2000 Jan 15 | Fortune fattens the brave | Such Lucky Wickedness | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | Forty-seven atheists have gathered round my grave | Hazardous Waist | |
| 2003 Jun 22 | Foul, foul, foul, this weather's spent | Always One Vane | |
| 2003 Oct 10 | Four-and-twenty blackbirds | Numerous Wonderlands | |
| 1996 Dec 10 | Fourteen tubes of toothpaste mark my grave | Shakespearean Temptation | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Francine can you fix the executioner line to fit the meter? | Untitled | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Francine, are you here? | TITLESGOHERE | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Free verse is my favorite form and so I say to you, "Garbanzo" | Untitled | |
| 2004 Mar 24 | Free, with every Guernsey cow | Milk Manoeuvres | |
| 1997 Nov 6 | Frequently, my brother speaks | Michaelangelo's Lewd Little Brother | |
| 2003 Sep 27 | Friday evening's nearly here | Start The Timeclock Earlier | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Fried mice and ferret stew | Dig it, Bonobos | |
| 2004 Apr 15 | Friends reunited | Beard Recognitions | |
| 1997 Mar 23 | From leprechaun to Lancer | Lemur Song Unsung | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | From my window, I can see | Why Are Doughtnuts Delicious? | |
| 2000 Jan 4 | From pyramid to penthouse | A Formal Comeback For The New Millipede | |
| 2001 Nov 5 | From Russell Square to Holborn | Balsamic Bus | |
| 2005 Oct 13 | From Sparta to Spain | The Final Acorn | |
| 2004 Apr 28 | From the Baltic, travel North | Unsettled Directions | |
| 2005 Sep 8 | From the bottom of my foot | The Railway Couplet Detected | |
| 2007 Apr 13 | From the swirling coffee-grounds | Snow Without Distinction | |
| 1998 Sep 30 | From where will the words come? | One-note Symphony on the Sudden Revolution | |
| 2002 Oct 10 | Frowsy Frederick did foretell fate, | Trouser Leopard | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Frozen embryos | Too Soon To Reconnoitre | |
| *** | 2000 Feb 13 | Frugal the frog | The Minotaur's Preserved Tears |
| 2001 Feb 8 | Full fathom five the aardvark lies | Recant Nothing, Martyrs | |
| 2006 Jul 18 | Fun time for Natasha | Longing For The Oligarch | |
| 2003 Nov 29 | Furtively, a polar bear | Thought Of The Mayoral Fool | |
| 2007 Jan 29 | Futility is much admired, by those outside this burgh, | Uniformly Bunyan | |
| 2000 Jan 13 | Gad-about Gertrude, there she gapes | Cloudier Mystery | |
| 2000 Nov 3 | Galisha ga-galoosha | Neapolitan Bore | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Galumphing through the daisy field | Mushroom | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | George Dubbya Bush | If Bentley | |
| 2002 May 11 | Giants, in their tedious way | Exculpatory Dancing | |
| 2002 May 8 | Giants, in their tiny way, | Cuttlebone Sandwiches | |
| 2001 Oct 23 | Gilded by an autumn sun | Calf-Length Flight-Bone Prospects | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | Give a man sufficient rope | Nor Eric Nor Unshaven Shirts | |
| 1999 May 14 | Give me a coin and pass by | Vulva buoy | |
| 1999 Jan 11 | Give me a goat and a piece of old rope and I walk right along to the fair | Cyber-Pogrom | |
| 2000 Apr 3 | Give me a piece of hoary old leather! | Explode, My Foot! | |
| *** | 2000 Feb 27 | Give me a whirl on the trampoline dull | Rash Wednesday On The Grim Reeperbahn |
| 1999 Dec 16 | Give me back my luncheon-meat! | Bothering Without Etiquette | |
| 2000 Jun 1 | Give me bowls of carrots in the sunrise that is grey | Never, Scarcely Ever | |
| 2000 May 7 | Give me some glue in pot coloured blue | Businessmen Halting Overhead | |
| 2004 Mar 18 | Give me the pen and invisible ink, and I'll write my life story for you | Doves, Couples, Quarks, Exigencies | |
| 2004 Mar 19 | Give me the pen and invisible ink, and I'll write my life story for you | Only Once Is More Than Twice Times Two | |
| 2006 Feb 16 | Give this custard just one stir | Sirloin Of Thanet | |
| 2005 Nov 7 | Glimpsed through barbed wire | Here Is Owl | |
| 2002 Jan 28 | Gloag by name, Gloag by nature; | The Gorse Sandwich | |
| 2005 Jan 16 | Globe and Jerusalem, we venerate | Embonpoint Sandwiches | |
| 2002 Feb 4 | Glutinous grist is my dish of the day, | Silently Fabulous | |
| 2004 Feb 25 | Goatish hovels - for the poor? | All My Cousins, Surely | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | God speed to you, fair travellers all | Blessings Aplenty For Apsley | |
| 2006 Jun 16 | Going out again | Dragon-tail Drunk | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | Golden apples in a silver bowl | The Metallic Allegory | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | Goliath in the cutlery-drawer | Arise, False Dawns! | |
| 2005 Oct 25 | Gone before its time | Seldom So Frequently | |
| 2005 Nov 13 | Gone from here, by twenty leagues, | Cufflinks Fascinate Nobody Except Rasputin | |
| 2002 Oct 5 | Gone, the subtle; | Erupting Like Flamingoes | |
| 2004 Mar 18 | Good citizens, attend this moral tale | Custom Paintwork Jobs | |
| 2005 Nov 23 | Good Men, our good ship's run aground | The Interplanetary Concavity Is How Deep | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | Good Morning, Mr. Soap! | My Guts Reek | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | Goofy Haikus | Only A Warthog Won't | |
| *** | 1998 Jan 4 | Gorgonzola partridge | The Throat Effect |
| 2004 Jan 27 | Gorris! | If The Janitor, When Juggling... | |
| 2003 Oct 13 | Gosh! That cat's obscenely fat! | Extended Gravity From The Spectral Register | |
| 2004 Jul 6 | Got a nice new jersey | We Never Boycott Oversights | |
| 2003 Dec 10 | Got any new poems to wreck? | Wanton Destruction Is Assured | |
| 2004 Jun 14 | Got Venus in my Transit | Palomar Mentors | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Grandma still sports a teased bouffant | Grandma Ain't Old Enough For Birthdays Any More | |
| 2005 Jan 24 | Grecian urns do not inspire these words | Keatsian Devices | |
| 2003 Dec 13 | Greensleeves and wassail, angels galore | Boutiques Full Of Festive Knick-knacks | |
| 2002 Mar 7 | Gretel's luxuriant hairy schnauzer was a bitch! | Gingerbread Housing Corporation | |
| 2007 Feb 15 | Grievances and Remonstrance are my middle names | Plutarch, Amnesia Abroad | |
| 2005 Sep 6 | Grizzled, in a state of tears, | Neolithic Muesli | |
| 2001 Aug 22 | Groatweed grows by every verge | Light Grey Sunshine | |
| 2002 Sep 28 | Guacamole, whose brindled haunch | By Any Drowned Pavilion | |
| 2002 Sep 23 | Guile ... beyond its main intent, | Sharing Lulu's Breakfast | |
| 2002 Oct 10 | Gullible wretches, so polished and pure | Laundresses, Basements, and Pythons | |
| *** | 1997 Sep 26 | Gulls feed the sky | Who Causes Jetsam? |
| 2005 Feb 28 | Gurgling free | Custard Pied Wagtail | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Gus Grissom ... wasn't he the dude | Guilelessly, No | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | Gus Grissom ... wasn't he the one | Crewcuts And Clangers | |
| 1999 Apr 13 | Gushing geysers greet the dwan with foam and spume and spray | Uncivil Arcade | |
| 2002 Apr 2 | Gusts and mists are just the stuff of dreams... | Schrödinger Blue | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | Haiku with me please | Autumn, Aimless, Now Upon Us | |
| 1997 Apr 26 | Hail! Hale-Bopp and roll upon your starry roundelay | Harry In The Blue Toast-Rack | |
| 2007 Mar 6 | Hail, Nervosa Trollop | Lichfield Parkway Mumble | |
| 2005 Mar 28 | Halitosis hit me as he cut my hair | Bertrand Of Nimes In Anguish | |
| 2001 Aug 1 | Hamish McBoreal? The spaniel from the Glens? | McBoreal's Adventure | |
| 2000 May 18 | Hamstrung by a woollen noose | Polemic Polarity | |
| 2006 Jan 19 | Handel's Croatian | It Seems Pointless To Polka | |
| 2004 Jan 17 | Happy birthday, Kimberley, let's head off to the bar | Weekend Sorrows Melt In Ale | |
| 2003 Nov 16 | Happy ever after? Well, at least until that day | Captain Of My Land | |
| 1998 Jan 20 | Happy New Year to the burghers of Strood! | Soup Training - Who Cares? | |
| 2005 Oct 20 | Harold Pinter, author of Betrayal, | Mermaids Sighing Affidavits | |
| 2001 Dec 7 | Harold was a potter | In Abandoned Transit-Vans | |
| 2004 May 17 | Harrumph, I say | Wasted Needlework | |
| *** | 1999 Aug 17 | Has time stopped? | Deathrow Welshmen Sometimes Tick |
| 2004 Feb 3 | Have more wine and honey, darling, | All That Blisters | |
| 2003 Jul 26 | Have you ever dated Lucy? | You can't Have Sushi | |
| 2003 Aug 30 | Have you ever felt vibrating oscillatons?Perhaps reverberating resonations? | Permanent Perdition | |
| 2004 Nov 2 | Have you ever rode a Trojan horse? | OK, Naysayer | |
| 2003 Nov 27 | Have you ever thought of peppering your toes? | Nothing Percolates Like Treacle | |
| 2006 Jun 7 | Have you ever thought of trimming your moustache? | Lark Ovaries | |
| 2001 Feb 19 | Have you heard the story of the Chattlewhump, my son? | Firestorm Fingers | |
| 2006 Mar 2 | Have you met my little friend, Bip? | Half The Time Left To Us | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | Have you met my wee friend, Gilbert? | Gilbert, With Giants in Hand | |
| 2006 Apr 5 | Have you seen the Nothing man, | Dreary Days Compounded By Snowstorms | |
| 2001 May 17 | He is bald and bespectacled | PSSB | |
| 1998 Sep 29 | He met her in a French cafe... | Bliss on Cusp | |
| 2003 Sep 23 | He snaps his fingers with such authority | That Superficial Sniper | |
| 2002 Sep 25 | He so rotten, she so vain | Whenever Scant Plenitudes Provide | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | He spent his life in deep despair and gloom | Roomy Life | |
| 2003 Dec 5 | He sponsored a Gonk | Saying Much, While Keeping Silent | |
| 2004 May 28 | He took her down a leafy lane | Attraction Determined By Inquest | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | He urged me to go get a perm | Hair | |
| 2004 Jan 14 | He used to be, so rumor has, the Dean of Men at Alcatraz | Leadership Fails Turtles | |
| 2006 Mar 16 | He walked his widow home | Godliness In Three-four Time | |
| *** | 2000 Mar 31 | He was born at a quarter to three | Uncle Helium Meets His Maker |
| 2004 May 17 | He was singing in Dutch | Upstream Candidate | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | He was the man of her dreams - tall, dark and Estonian | Dreamy | |
| 2005 Aug 8 | Heading off to sunny climes | Farewell, My Lively Oystercatcher Nymphs | |
| 2002 Oct 15 | Hearlding a century of filth and gore, | Nonsense Sharpens Your Refrain | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | Heaven-sent sixpence, platypus pie | Tarragon Piglets | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Heebie jeebies, toil and trouble | Untitled | |
| 2001 Aug 13 | Helena was born in a pub | Biography | |
| 1999 Mar 1 | Hellespont and Hecuba were walking down the street | Colditz Rhythm | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | Hello, Beefy, howya doin'? | What's The Point Of Intermittency? | |
| 2006 Aug 3 | Hengist had the brightest sword | Eight Parrots, Seven Rogues | |
| 1999 Mar 12 | Henrietta ate a cake | Therapists Kill | |
| 2001 Nov 16 | Her bashfulness, though not innate | Pancreatic Recreations | |
| 2002 Mar 4 | Her basin full of porridge, her stockings eek of holes, | Arquebus (Chaucerian View) | |
| 2003 Oct 26 | Her body glistened, hairless quite, | Hairless of Sins | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | Her clavicle was something to behold | The Virginal Chorus Sings Alleluia | |
| 2001 Oct 8 | Her eye is not my voice | From Chocolate Time-Zones | |
| 2004 Sep 15 | Her eyes are like a cup of tea | Unnecessary Puns As She Grasped Another Cupcake | |
| 2004 Jan 7 | Her face was blanched, her eyes aglow; the sky was gauzy, rent | The Unkempt | |
| 1997 Jul 7 | Her hair falls short of a pageboy's crop | On Knowing Little Tess | |
| 2005 Sep 14 | Her incursions, from the North, | Tossed From Hand To Elbow | |
| 2004 Aug 27 | Her innocence unquestioned, her purity renowned | Queen Of The Feathers | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Her nipples were quite octagonal | Bodies | |
| 2000 Mar 17 | Her sharp mouth, again, | Mask of the Herald | |
| 2003 Dec 18 | Her tortured lip was dripping blood | Lyrics To Kill The Bliss Of Heart-throbs | |
| 2003 Jun 22 | Her upper arms; mine eyes alighting | Nile Feather Death Trip | |
| 2005 Jul 1 | Her velvet trousers, on the bed | Liturgically Challenged Papists Vainly Seeking Pomp | |
| 2005 Nov 10 | Here comes Cross-Eyed Sam | Who Named The Cornucopian | |
| 1997 Jun 17 | Here comes the knight, mail clad, through the border | Hiding Like A Hun (Portia's Lament) | |
| 2001 Oct 4 | Here I am and here I'm staying! | Truculent Virtue | |
| 2004 Jan 30 | Here in Freud's kettle | Traditionally Devoted To Artificial Punctuations | |
| 2004 Feb 29 | Here in Munich's age-old centre | The Birdbath Embargo | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | Here stands a giant | When | |
| 2004 Mar 5 | Here's an ode to hogwash - to tripe and pure baloney | Balderdash Brevity | |
| 2002 Nov 12 | Here, in Glasgow, | Against Wheat-craft | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Here, there and everywhere | Enough Is | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | Hey Randy? Are you still up? | Alright? | |
| *** | 1999 Jan 21 | Hiatus and Hibiscus are the names of my two sheep | Only Transient Sheep |
| 2001 Aug 7 | Hidboult was a wanderer | Mutable, Suitable, Inscrutable | |
| 2004 Aug 27 | Hide me, my darling, in your tresses! | Florizel Inclined | |
| 2002 Nov 29 | Hideous smells | Hugo's Goats | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | Hierarchs with open mouths | Brian's Life of Impostion | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Higgle-dee piggle-dee pudding and pie | A Round | |
| 2005 Apr 28 | hiiiiiiiii | Before She Uttered | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | His boots were made of manta ray, | Perwinkle Trout Wrack | |
| 2003 Jun 21 | His brain slightly mangled from mid-term exams | Test Our Mutual Felicity with Unguents | |
| 2005 Nov 16 | His cranium, by some accounts | The Lost Macduff Reforms In Ely | |
| 1997 Aug 15 | His elbow never faltered | Gloucestershire My Undiscovered Child | |
| *** | 1998 Nov 21 | His feet are larger than the sea | Stale Toffees Know Nothing |
| 2001 Aug 10 | His passion was a restless sort | Marinade Your Partner Daily | |
| 2006 Jun 15 | his pendulum might make you sneeze | Show Me How Verdi Murdered Houdini | |
| 2005 Aug 10 | His secretary's teeth were sown | Fields Of Everywhere | |
| 1997 Mar 15 | His terror of fruit was a virtue | The Mushroom Antipope | |
| 2004 Jun 18 | Hollie was a hostage | Forswear Courage | |
| 2003 Dec 15 | Homesick while at home--candles melt like promises | Loneliness Corrupted By Fishes | |
| 2003 Dec 8 | Hooper wouldn't say his name | Extraterrestial Wingnuts | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Hotchie-totchie, Liberace | Whackers Are Slackers | |
| 2000 Dec 22 | How about this new departure: | Sundial Shines | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | How are you doing, Mr. Slurb? | She-devils Unruly | |
| 2004 Sep 4 | How blistering your prose, how Jovian your style | Blossom On Most Wintry Afternoons | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | How blithely do the crackerjacks | Bemused | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | How blithely do the flivvers fly | One Cat for Every Lear | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | How blithely do we misuse this site and yet it does deserve it | Lifecycle: Forlorn Flapping | |
| 2004 Dec 22 | How calmly did th olive branch | Albatross, Lie Still | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | How dear of you to send me cash | Cash Me | |
| 2003 Aug 8 | How do you feel about Life? | Management Evoked | |
| 2004 Feb 3 | How far can we fall | Further Epsom Salts | |
| 2003 Nov 27 | How feminine, this colour scheme! | Girlish Lavender Hues | |
| 2004 Aug 14 | How fetching you look, Miss Sipple | Naughty Thoughts Are Always Parochial | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | How frothy do these suds appear | Like the Inner Feathers of Earth | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | How graven seem those fractured tarts | Fractured Hearts Have Missed Innumerable Chances | |
| 1999 Sep 28 | How hairy is my nose, do you suppose? | Banana Wapentakes | |
| 2003 Oct 24 | How he dawdles! Watch the steps | Poor Child Roland | |
| 2003 Oct 27 | How hideous is the Spaniard | Lawrence's Spaniard Fool | |
| 2002 Nov 4 | How hideous the passion! | Longings for Celibacy | |
| 2003 Feb 5 | How horrid is the elephant | Herring Orphans of All Totnes | |
| 2004 Nov 23 | How lithely do these lilliputians leap | Generally Too Much Opulence | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | How little do we know ourselves | Pure Floundering | |
| 2001 Apr 20 | How long will you be up there? | Conception By Maidens (Anchovie's Verses) | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | How many times have you started a line | A Challenge To The Juvenile | |
| 2004 May 29 | How many times must I tell you? | Cautionary Tales For Young Hotshots | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | How noble is the nobleman | The Pastry Cups | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | How oft in wet dreams do I walk | Dreams | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | How often have I pruned a tree | Euthansia without Gregariousness | |
| 1997 May 29 | How ponderous, how ponderous | Devout Epic On A Tiresome Champion | |
| 2003 Dec 5 | How sad that ode was ended--and why I want to know? | Boohoo Hoodoo | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | How seldom do I see a frump | How Often Tattooed? | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | How silly, you're suddenly snooty | Harrumph Parumph Gallumph | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | How softly do the dryads hump | Untitled | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | How speckled my rotisserie | Untitled | |
| 2004 Mar 19 | How to explain this shocking situation | After Lessons | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | How to swell our number, how increase our ranks? | Recruitment Drive By The Bogus Snobbery Guardians | |
| 1998 Feb 10 | How undone as would be seen to show | Type-cast Treachery | |
| 2006 Feb 16 | How we wonder, how we wonder | Eating The Accountants Until Babbage Leaves | |
| 2003 Sep 17 | However shall the cold night envade, | Cold Boff in Freedom | |
| 2002 Nov 28 | I add some lard to every bath-time mix | Hertfordshire Joke | |
| 2001 May 17 | I always caught the quarter-past; it never ran on time | Innocuously Or Venomously | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | I always knew that I'd be back | Comeuppance to Astroturf | |
| 2003 Oct 15 | I am filled with remorse, and the reasons are three: | Unsightly Cheesology | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | I am seriously whacked | Odin Understands | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | I am sowing hope | Signs Of Sorrows | |
| 2005 Dec 1 | I am the Centaur and the sword | When Everything Presupposes | |
| 2002 Nov 15 | I ate my salad in a huff: | Halibut Without | |
| 2004 Jun 22 | I berate you for infecting | Haddock Framing | |
| 1997 Feb 23 | I blench to acknowledge my failure | False Memories of a Papal Failure | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | I bought a cute puppet named Pim | Our Snotty Pim | |
| 2003 Aug 24 | I bought a jar of marmalade, paid quite a little sum | Topological Jam | |
| 2003 Oct 27 | I bought a little bandersnatch | Always Vainglorious Hootenannies | |
| *** | 2004 Sep 16 | I bought a thing on ebay | Satanists With No Desire For Pontifical Stripes |
| 2003 Nov 20 | I came upon a startling sight | I Am Transformed | |
| 2003 Sep 16 | I can barely remember the time | Through the Days of Smouldering | |
| 2002 Mar 13 | I can't abide a burnt-up pie | Menu, Unaware of Lurking | |
| 2003 Dec 17 | I can't believe I left the grass in my pocket | Nesting Penguins Throughout Asia Minor | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | I can't help but note that your navel is inverted | Truly, I Have Subverted You | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | I cannot help but feel that if only I had | You Cannot Steal Diamons | |
| 2004 Mar 31 | I carry Hank, my freeze-dried hake, | Onwards, Henrietta Dawson | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | I challenge you now with my swordTo the death! (well I'm really quite bored) | Scurvy and Varlets | |
| 2004 Aug 16 | I chanced upon a postcard | Those Whose Every Movement Counts | |
| 2004 Aug 16 | I chanced upon a shouting match | Knighthood For Those In Direst Destitution | |
| 2001 Sep 6 | I cycled to the station with fury on my mind | A Railway Canal | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | I dare the wind to blow contrary to my whim | Cocksure Wills | |
| 2004 Jan 3 | I did it for the sake of her | Nipple Tussock | |
| 2004 Jan 14 | I did not think a coddled egg | Frequency Of Dinner Jackets | |
| 2004 Jan 12 | I don't drinke vodka, only ginne - | Imbibe This Page | |
| 1997 Jun 28 | I dreamed a quaint equation | Cry the Narcotic Laundry | |
| 2004 May 28 | I dropped it down the wishing well | Hanging Trout Fancying Grandmothers | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | I fear I cannot hope to match | Dreaming | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | I fear my favorite pollywog has indigestion | Unhealthy Backlash Cliches | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | I fear that one day they will carry me off | Ghazal to Asylum | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | I feel I must indulge in certain vices | Bloodthirsty Tales And Unseen Lemons | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | I find myself washed once more, upon a friendly shore | Trepidation Is Sometimes All | |
| 2006 Mar 25 | I found your umbrella | Wallpaper For Beavers | |
| 2003 Sep 17 | I frequently sit on the dunny | Time or Porcelain | |
| 2001 Jun 19 | I glanced upon your book last night - | Tennyson's Elbow Transplant | |
| 2002 May 20 | I gorge a slow caramel, | The Apostle Paul Ate Our Show Dogs | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | I got the "I Ain't Got Nuthin' to be Blue About" blues | Ounces of Hidden Obviousness | |
| 2003 May 30 | I guffaw but twice per night, | Hilariously Pregnant | |
| 2006 Mar 9 | I had a date with a girl named Fred | The Protective Turnip, Terrified Of Nightmares, Is Already Failing Under My Tutelage | |
| 2004 Aug 20 | I had a fish named Rusty | The Operatic Life | |
| 2003 Jan 9 | I had a little tractor | I'll Surely Trample Your Tractor, My Love | |
| 2000 May 15 | I had a small Etruscan | Wake! Capitulate! | |
| 2003 Nov 15 | I had an eerie dream last week | Ruined Dreamscapes | |
| 2003 Oct 17 | I had my shoes shined in Chicago once | Songs of Prestigious Bill Giblets, the Whistling Tailor | |
| 2003 Nov 3 | I hate raking leaves | The Unwanted Haiku | |
| 2005 Apr 21 | I have a little creature | Despatched Again | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | I have dined with the Gods, and yet | Plunder of the Phigosia | |
| 1996 Jun 1 | I have it in mind to purchase a pie | This Gastronomical Headboard | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | I have it in mind to purchase a pie | The Popemobile In Escrow | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | I have measured out my life with tablespoons | The Trouser Leg of Hell | |
| 2003 Sep 21 | I have not the courage to conquer life | Ceaseless Efforts Conquer | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | I have seen this place before | The Walks of Soul Sisters | |
| 2004 Jan 7 | I hear that sluts from Milwaukee | A Wishlist For Clambakes | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | I hear that you like pepperoni | The Food Of Minotaurs | |
| 1999 Dec 29 | I hear the tread of thirty thousand men | I, Everest | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | I hear you are sailing to Lesbos | In My Dreams of Paint | |
| 2004 Jan 18 | I hear you like to polka with clubfooted gals | Oompah Tuba | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | I heard him curse, I heard him groan | Reveal the Masonic Prudes | |
| 2003 Jun 23 | I heard him curse, I heard him groan | The Mistake | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | I heard this rumor in class today..correct me if I'm wrong: | Apocalyptic Rumor | |
| 2006 May 30 | I hefted bricks of twenty pounds | Pork-pie Hatred In Stoke | |
| 2001 Jan 12 | I just can't help thinking of you | The Enslaved | |
| 2003 Dec 10 | I knew a sinister minister | If Wishes Were Geese, Nobody Would Honk | |
| 2003 Nov 26 | I know the Spoonbill secret | Breaking The Law Of Thermodynamics | |
| 2003 Dec 12 | I know what it's like to be a poet. | Poets Into Beasts | |
| 2001 Sep 5 | I lie to you always, as sugar to spice | My Mendacious Honey | |
| 2003 Oct 18 | I like | Asphalt Trumps My Ace | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | I like bananas, because they have no bones | Melons In December | |
| 2000 Jun 7 | I like carrots in the spring-time | The Tomato Points West | |
| 2006 Mar 10 | I like the cut of your jib and the fact that you always vote lib | To Haunt Each Dervish Daily | |
| 2000 Jun 6 | I like to eat cheese in the High Pyrenees | Jeeves Arranged My Spangled Smoking Jackets Elegantly | |
| 2003 Oct 29 | I like to spoon-bloody-bill, | Tmesis Hell | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | I like to spoonbill | I Am Not The Obsessive Weirdo You Are | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | I looked at my feet and to my surprise | Look, No Anatomy! | |
| 2002 May 31 | I love the sound of ice cubes when | Just Icing the Mind | |
| 2003 Oct 27 | I love you because | Delusions are my Family | |
| 2001 Nov 20 | I loved her hazel eyes so much | Lechery's Appraisal | |
| 2000 Feb 12 | I made a little omelette with a single serpent's egg | Big Man Devours Helicopter's Emptiness | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | I made my peace with destiny and fate | Nirvana of Cleopatra | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | I make them go fast | Mary Marmalade And Very Tasty Puppies | |
| 2003 Aug 8 | I may be gone a little while | Whatever I May Need in Make Believe | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | I may have to boil a turnip | How To Cook Vegetables | |
| 2003 Sep 21 | I may have to saddle a horse | Though Tamborines are Comforting | |
| 2007 Jan 15 | I meant it as an insult | A Futile Attempt on Parnassus | |
| 2006 May 24 | I met a man whose nose extended | Mute Soup And Memory Faded | |
| 2005 Mar 18 | I might not swallow more than once | I Would Rather Not Serve Rice | |
| 1997 Feb 16 | I name this dead wasp 'Halitosis' | Modish Qualms | |
| 1997 Jan 26 | I never met a sailor who could sing | Whipped Blood Pudding Regrets | |
| 2006 Aug 1 | I never met my sister till I was twenty-three | Equator Blown Over | |
| 1999 Feb 11 | I never saw a clean sweep | Blemishes | |
| 2004 Feb 10 | I never saw you in a dream | The Better To Infiltrate Someone's Affections | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | I never sensed a larger void | Eardrums In The Dark Theatre | |
| 2003 Aug 23 | I never thought of leaving home until I met Suzanne | With Suzanne in Swaziland | |
| 1998 Nov 25 | I never tire of asking | Pandora's Boxing-glove | |
| 2004 Jul 16 | I never will get over | Tennis Balls Striking Us Forcibly | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | I often think that nothing grows so red as a rose where some once Caesar bled. | Vaccuum Devices Have Undiscovered Potential | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | I often wonder how to start | If Only People Smelled Like Flowers | |
| 2000 Jul 6 | I once asked Uncle Herbert | How Large Is Tina's Dinosaur? | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | I once had an uncle named Bob | The Bob Job Murders | |
| 2003 Sep 23 | I once had to wrestle a bear | Making the Tide Wet | |
| 2003 Oct 18 | I once knew a good sick ducker | Naughtiness As Can | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | I once knew a Heywood Jablome | Avoid Big Pies | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | I once knew a lady, Francine | Tribute of the Rather Wet | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | I once knew a shipless Magellan | Cruella Knew Every Hamster | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | I once saw a doctor in Dayton | Persnickety Girls | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | I once took a spaceship to Mars | Inter-Planetary Tomfoolery | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | I once was told that A is πr | I'll never ηπ again | |
| 2005 Feb 28 | I paid for all this road myself | Dog-biscuit Dunking | |
| 2002 Jun 30 | I ponder what I dare not do, | Compromises | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | I promise not to mention lice | Railing Against Sooty | |
| 2003 May 31 | I promise, tomorrow I'll be a good boy | Inaudible When Down-wind | |
| 2003 May 10 | I put lobsters in her sock drawer | Pugna Porcorum | |
| 2002 Dec 27 | I put my trousers in the press | Where are Nelson's Aubergines? | |
| 2003 Mar 18 | I quaffed nine cups of joe this morn | A Relativity Prayer Shawl Thrown Aside | |
| 2004 Jan 26 | I read the rules with some concern | Won't You, Suzanne? | |
| 2003 Aug 31 | I really must take a shower | Undressing Swine | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | I really need to get some sleep | Sleep Will Not Be Heard | |
| 2000 Mar 29 | I remember Folkestone in December | Doglike Doings | |
| 1997 Mar 11 | I remember, I remember when verses used to scan | Saint Nincompoop's Aplomb | |
| 2003 Oct 25 | I ride my bike around the house | When I Glorify the Bike | |
| 2003 Jan 9 | I ring alarms with my Nan | Regurgitate Afresh | |
| 2002 Jul 29 | I saw Yehudi Menuhin | Piecemeal Premonitions | |
| 2003 Aug 27 | I see the walking dead, the fire in their eyes | The Innocent Murder of Fire | |
| 2004 Sep 16 | I see you bought a pair of saddle shoes | Stuff Your Turkey And Grab A Second Chance For Redemption | |
| 2003 Nov 16 | I see your hoof prints on the stairs | The Cauldron That Foils Such Weaklings As Us | |
| 2003 Nov 16 | I see your shadow on the wall | Yes, The Very Air Isn't Breatheable Over Our Side | |
| 2003 Oct 24 | I seldom spurl the gaffled zern | Therefore I Can Be Repeatedly Woggled | |
| 2002 Jul 24 | I sent a message - to an elk? | Unlikely Bovine Dreams | |
| 2002 Oct 1 | I sent a parcel trhough the post? | Conference for Solo Banjo | |
| 2001 Oct 7 | I sent my luv a cllphn txt | Vindaloo (Abbreviated) | |
| 2006 Jun 23 | I shall not fail to summon you | Tights For A Prophylactic Railroad | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | I should've screwed old what's her name | Lips You can Kiss | |
| 1997 Jan 3 | I sighed for the feel of formica | Chutney, the Ragtime Crab | |
| 2000 Feb 16 | I sing of beauty and a boy's endeavour | My Hamster, Utterly Exhausted By Trepanning | |
| 1999 Nov 18 | I skipped among the parsley beds | Bunuel, Masterly Engineer | |
| 2002 Dec 31 | i SPEAK in CAPITALS quasi-random | CaTacLySm | |
| 2006 Jan 5 | I sprawl, I sprawl | When This Ends We Shall, Too | |
| 2004 Sep 16 | I stare into myself, hoping for redress | Lamentations Upon The Morrow | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | I submit that we are not alone | Woof | |
| 2003 Sep 11 | I suggested a title word and the word was this | Spotted Crunch | |
| 1999 Dec 7 | I talk to herring in the dark when no one is around | Mythical Piscator | |
| 2003 Nov 3 | I think I have a broken leg | Hypochondria Isn't The Harlot's Proof | |
| 2005 Feb 24 | I think I might go out today | Plans For Vacillation | |
| 2003 Nov 21 | I think I saw an eagle fly across the Interstate | Only Known Criminals And Their Zebras | |
| 2003 Sep 1 | I think I'll tiptoe over there | Nirvana in Daylight | |
| 2003 Nov 29 | I think it's time for a limerick | Wink! | |
| 2004 Sep 8 | I think she may be going mad | Bite-sized Granules Of Compassionate Crunchiness | |
| 2003 Aug 13 | I think that I shall never find, a poem as lovely as your behind | Around The You You Tree | |
| 1999 Dec 14 | I think that I shall never see | Thinking Allowed | |
| 2000 May 3 | I think that I shall never see | My Nightly Righteous Ferment | |
| 2004 Jan 20 | I think to make a piece of toast | Nothing Will Prevail After The Neutrino | |
| 1999 Oct 11 | I told him that he shouldn't hoard the family's only Oiuja board | Blessed, Blessed, this Momenteum of the Morning | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | I took a Greyhound bus to Timbuktu | Exhausted Bus of Sand | |
| 2003 Apr 9 | I took a penguin on the tram | When Did Gingersnaps Vanish From Human Knowledge? | |
| 2006 May 12 | I took a sip. I didn't know | Elixirs Of Godknows What | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | I took a trip to Ioway | Vacation for Gingersnaps | |
| 2004 Jan 24 | I took my bitch to get her shaved on Park Lane yesterday | Beaten Fluffy | |
| 2003 Oct 31 | I traced the lineage of the Spoon | Amanda and Her Moose Therapy | |
| 2003 Jun 16 | I trimmed that lean bazooka | Necessary foreign horrors | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | I try to Haiku | Filling the Proverbial Crannies | |
| 2001 Sep 4 | I unfolded my favourite handkerchief slowly | Kylie, Dark Illusion | |
| 2003 Jan 25 | I walk a mile each day before my tea | Beyond Bursting-Point | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | I wandered lonely as a clod | Prey Letters | |
| 1999 May 26 | I wandered lonely as a nerd | Warriors from Eternity | |
| 2004 Mar 3 | I wandered lonely as a nerd | Diffused By Brilliant Clouds | |
| 2002 Mar 5 | I wandered lonely, as a clod | When You Dangle Your Sister in Alabaster | |
| 2003 Oct 12 | I want to do to you, what the spring does to the trees | The High What | |
| 2003 Dec 9 | I was born a prisoner in your dungeon of fish | If I Illuminate Life Only Slightly, I Shall | |
| 1999 Feb 8 | I was excreted through a pore | Crepuscular Creation | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | I was fishing one day on the pier | The Great Fuss | |
| 2004 Jan 14 | I was hired to breastfeed his pups | Wetnurse Burdens | |
| 2005 Mar 31 | I watched a ritual of the Baluchistanis; | Cultural Divides | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | I went down to the bus station to meet my baby | Bus Baby Boop | |
| 2003 Oct 28 | I went to bat for you so many times, and how have you repaid me? | Flame White Trash! | |
| 2006 Aug 24 | I went to Zeke's to buy some paint | Our Score Was Enough For Zeke | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | I wish I were a platypus | Wish | |
| 2001 Aug 9 | I wish I were in Ngunnawal again | Nostalgia for Breakfast - And Blue Sky | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | I wish it were true that piggies flew | Untitled | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | I wish to call attention | Please Don't Try | |
| 2000 Apr 12 | I woke to find the world undone | Bacon Vortex | |
| 2002 Oct 22 | I woke up this morning as blue as your eyes | Telephone in a Wishing Well | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | I wonder did you dance a Latin dance? | Suck The Wonder | |
| 2003 Oct 30 | I wonder: is it worth the time? | No Way to the Afterlife | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | I would hardly complain that loudly to be compared with Frost | Legacy of Homey Charms | |
| 2007 Feb 26 | I'd heard of Silas Marner | The Nephews of Leonard | |
| 2003 Nov 5 | I'd like to haiku | We Are More Free In Play | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | I'd like to raise a glass to my friends across the sea | Fellow Unravellers | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | I'd offer you a crumpet, | Negligent Daleks Give Us A Passable Flamenco | |
| 2003 Dec 29 | I'd rest, if I could, but a holiday's on | The Shown Tear Of A Cloudbuster | |
| 2004 Dec 17 | I'll be home for Christmas (alas!) | Farfetched | |
| 2003 Oct 31 | I'll make you an offer you can't refuse | Exchange: Offer Me Something | |
| 2005 Jan 15 | I'll never again, see my ex-pal Len | Backstabbing So-called Chums | |
| 2006 May 31 | I'll tell you the tale of a boy from the East | The Legend Of The Sphere | |
| 2004 Jan 28 | I'll tell you the tale of ham-handed Hannah | Of Sailors And Their Ways | |
| 2000 May 11 | I'm afraid he is addicted to collaborative verse | Alone With Another Fool | |
| 2004 Aug 27 | I'm an escapee from sanity | We Penguins Have Closed Supper Clubs Forever | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | I'm building castles in the sky | Have the Patience of the Broken | |
| 2006 May 15 | I'm glad to see your back | Yes, Cheese Is Edible | |
| 2004 Aug 6 | I'm not even thinking | Smudge On A Trumpet | |
| 2004 Oct 30 | I'm off – be back by Thursday night | Philately Tentacles | |
| 2003 Jul 31 | I'm pregnant and I don't know why | Sow Succcess | |
| 2000 Sep 11 | I'm the child of a Red Road skyscraper. | Slander Me! | |
| 2004 Jan 25 | I'm the only gay in the village | Little Holly Sat Upon Her | |
| 2003 Mar 19 | I've always been taught to report what I thought | Fun in the Unnerving Moonlight (Rembrandt's Schooldays) | |
| 2003 Nov 27 | I've been lectured again by the stockman | Arbitrary Megalomaniacs | |
| 1997 Aug 18 | I've eaten all the Urals | Whoever timely looks | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | I've fallen and I can't get up | Fallen | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | I've far too much hair on my head | Onions Can't Cry | |
| 2004 Jan 22 | I've got a brand new bathroom | Porcine Tales By Granddaddy | |
| 1998 Jan 5 | I've heard it said that Hell is other people | Half-wits in Paradise | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | I've heard that folks that are from the U.K. | Yellow Pasty Cavalcade | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | I've heard that the folks in the U S of A | America, Land Where Meiosis Reigns | |
| 2003 Apr 30 | I've long held a theory that Seuss ain't no doc | The Doctrine of Giggling | |
| 2003 Nov 14 | I've never been the sort of man | Gumshoe In Divers Forests | |
| 2004 Jan 14 | I've never hit a man I didn't like | Tabletop Heirs | |
| 2003 Jul 21 | I've never known a munchkin like you, Nadine. | The Snoring Sombreros | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | I've never met a man I didn't like. | Why do the Spanish Never Use Toasters? | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | I've oft wondered what Karin looks like | I Fear Bonnie Lies Under the Ocean Freeway | |
| 1997 Jun 7 | I've seen the skull beneath the scone | Saffron, Saffron | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | I've told you once, I've told you twice, | Fandango Lashing | |
| 1998 Feb 8 | Ice carved by cold hearts, | Armpit Discipline | |
| *** | 2000 Oct 3 | If a man shall lack a shoe | World One Hundred |
| 2004 Oct 8 | If all the buyers faced this way | If Kipling Required Satisfaction | |
| 1997 Dec 9 | If all the world were turpentine | The Alchemist's Crusade | |
| 2006 Jan 29 | If beating fleas was my habit | Handy Men Poised With Unguents | |
| 2006 May 15 | If brevity's the soul of wit, | Cliches But No Answer | |
| 1997 Dec 14 | If Dusseldorf were Dusseldorf | Promising A Macrocosmic Disaster | |
| 2002 Nov 14 | If ever I should leave you, it might as well be now | Seasons Intemperate | |
| 2005 Nov 17 | If ever I would write a dirge | Ignoring The Peach And Nectarine | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | If ever there was a time when wishes and dreams could come true | If Rapture Exists | |
| 2000 Sep 11 | If ever there were time for writing poetry, 'tis now | When Everest Falls Sick | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | If every boy and every girl | Quiche Swim | |
| 2003 Nov 15 | If every dog and every cat | Pets Are Not What They Seem | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | If everything that you had ever known | If Oblivion Had Foes | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | If falling stars had parachutes | My Special Nosebag | |
| 2004 Apr 2 | If filling in forms engenders dismay, tick box 'A' | Bureaucracy Marks The Pedestrians | |
| 2006 Jan 11 | If fish could scream | Enduring Without Succor | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | If fish could scream | Opinion Is Not A Occupation | |
| 2006 Feb 14 | If heebie has jeebies and hocus has pocus | Tithes Before Flamingos | |
| 2004 Jan 24 | If I could dance like Fred Austere | The Rite For Pipkin Breezes | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | If I ever had a platypus | Animals (Oz) | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | If I ever went to Athens | The Effervescent Digest | |
| 2003 Jul 26 | If I fell in love with you | Love Awkwardly | |
| 2003 Sep 28 | If I had known that this would be | Hindsight Blindness | |
| 2005 Jul 25 | If I told you how I feel | Mine Shaft Mendicants, Their Oath | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | If I understand you right, | This Lame War Mixes Our Cement | |
| 2005 Jul 22 | If it hadn't been for the eighteenth green | Another Bodleian Peroration Fails | |
| 2003 Nov 16 | If it seems too difficult | Visitors Not Derailed | |
| 2004 Jun 21 | If it's standing-room only | Seegarten Tour For Wits | |
| 2001 Feb 17 | If Joan of Arc wasn't a zombie | Membrane One (Laughing Hoop) | |
| 2001 Jan 9 | If love cannot foretell the past | Going off the Boil | |
| 2000 May 30 | If my ardour flickers | Cautiously Urging, Redundantly Purging | |
| 1998 Jun 1 | If night should fall before the deed is done | Raskolnikov's Fallen | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | If not for that one "mistake" | Alas My... | |
| 2000 Jun 14 | If only | Bragging About Semi-colons | |
| 2003 Jun 27 | If only I could sing like William Shatner | Knight of the Noxious Lie | |
| 2003 Mar 18 | If only these kids knew what I | Hidden By Hygiene Fairies | |
| 2001 May 24 | If saints are souls with greater spirit | Stravinksy in Sidcup: Untimely Minuet | |
| 2004 Sep 17 | If silence is golden, why won't you be quiet? | She-men And Domestic Appliances | |
| 1998 Dec 1 | If spring does not come | Outlet-valve in preparation | |
| 2003 Jul 26 | If starfish wore shoes | Starfish Footwear | |
| 2001 Jan 20 | If the captain's metaphysic | Offhand Emblem | |
| *** | 2000 Feb 14 | If the prophets who foretell my life | Sonnet |
| 2005 Apr 20 | If the Sun was to die today | Future Species Will Not Tolerate Hotels | |
| 2003 Feb 5 | If the thought of hope is not enough | Sheepish Ambition | |
| 2004 Nov 8 | If waking life had time for dreams | Heliotrope Spores | |
| 2003 Sep 23 | If wishes were horses | Why Listen? | |
| *** | 2002 Jul 24 | If you can hold a tune, when all around | The Mark of Uncertainty (Improbable Thumbprint) |
| 2003 Aug 1 | If you had but one final chance | Nightmares in a Mind Overtaken by Madness After Sleepless Days and Nights | |
| 2003 Dec 17 | If you lift a dog with a crane, will he count to infinity? | Papal Disgust | |
| 2005 Feb 1 | If you squeegee my windshield, I'll scour your pot | Sixty-five Degrees | |
| 1999 Jan 3 | If you think that I'm the reject, then I'll thrash you till you're blue | Hell Fruit | |
| 2000 Apr 12 | If you were an ape, what kind would you be? | Waves, Water Under | |
| 2000 Apr 10 | If you were an ape, what kind would you be? | Are Like | |
| 1998 Aug 10 | If, halfway down the basement stairs, | Beyond Anatomical Possibilities | |
| 2004 Sep 12 | Ignorance, in former times | One Apostate Fieldmouse Alone In All Conjecture | |
| 2003 Oct 27 | Imagine a World without... | Imagine This Weirdness | |
| 2002 Jul 29 | Imagine that! My little cat | One Scourge Too Far From Home | |
| 2004 Sep 1 | Imagine there were jungles on the moon | The Things That Are Caramelized By Moonlight | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Imagine there's no flugle | Imagination, Fortitude, Cholesterol | |
| 2003 Oct 15 | impeccable: Can not be pecced | Most Even-Handed Definition | |
| 2004 Feb 16 | In a cave, on a mountain so high | Once Lithuania, Once | |
| 1999 Nov 30 | In a distant land called Pernia there ruled a mighty Peach | Under the auspices of the Mesopotamian tube-station in Epping | |
| 2001 Oct 31 | In a dream, I bit off my boss's leg | Bartók's Drawing-Room | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | In a garden of unrestful silence | Seek the Shade, the Silence | |
| 2004 Sep 2 | In a poisoned gondola | There Once Lived Some Rather Odd Babies | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | In adamantine underpants the slavish sleeper slept, | Nocturne Oy | |
| 1997 Oct 31 | In all my vast concerns | Possible Idolaters in a Black Throat | |
| 2001 Jun 6 | In an old ball of string | Dali's Uncle's Duckpond of Filth | |
| 2000 Nov 12 | In autumn-time, a small spittoon | Beyond Any Logic | |
| 2003 Jun 26 | In China, once, an Emperor | Epic Gorgonzola Quest | |
| 2004 Aug 25 | In conclusion, blessed child, | Sugary Benisons During Walpurgisnacht | |
| 2004 Apr 24 | In conclusion, Speckled Jim | Brigade Of Billabongs | |
| 2002 Apr 29 | In days before the Diceman | Her Prophylactic Wednesdays (Compensatory Voucher) | |
| 2003 Dec 16 | In days of yore, when dragons roamed the world | Mythical Quest | |
| 2003 Jan 23 | In dread of the foe | Ferocious Nightgowns | |
| 2006 Jan 2 | In dreams of dimes and happenstance | Winged Things That Reek Of Myrrh | |
| 2004 Aug 10 | In every other window | Undercover Pastries Lost In Space | |
| 2005 Sep 4 | In flowerdome five | Monetarists | |
| 2001 Jun 19 | In France, there is a little town | Are You the Last Paradigm? | |
| *** | 1997 Feb 13 | In front of a crowd of reliable hens | The Question |
| 2002 Nov 29 | In Hastings, once, there should an elm, | Heroic and Auspicious | |
| 1997 Apr 26 | In his book, 'The Uranium Fanfare', | It Isn't Often Oatmeal | |
| 2005 Jun 13 | In his Jeans®, stood Jasper Johns | Saul Bellow Cloudringed By Nymphs | |
| 2007 Jan 27 | In his ochre jodhpurs | Artisans, Ninepence Or Less | |
| 2006 Jun 18 | In his ochre jodhpurs | His Lucky Skull Has Perished | |
| 2000 May 11 | In Istanbul | Surely it behoves us to grant... | |
| 2001 Dec 13 | In its own bottle | She boils | |
| 2005 Mar 7 | In latter days of green and blue | Flaring Hairclips | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | In my borrowed jacket | Trysting Without Thomasina | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | In my cardboard cardigan | Revisionist Shenanigans | |
| 2003 Aug 31 | In my cardboard cardigan | Emilia And Her Tremendous Brainpower | |
| 2006 Jan 12 | In my ending is my start | Their Original Desk-top Microphones | |
| 2002 Nov 28 | In my glass kimono | Judith, A Polynomial | |
| 1997 Apr 26 | In my outhouse, far from Tunis | Apocope-0Reticule | |
| 2001 Dec 11 | In Narnia, the earthworms say, | Unnecessary Tits | |
| 2000 Oct 25 | In olden days, a glimpse of Hockney | Recriminations Against The Hideous Nymphet | |
| 2005 Nov 15 | In opting for a blacker grey | To Any Passing Critic | |
| 2005 Sep 18 | In opting for a greyer black | One Will Between Friends | |
| 2000 May 23 | In Persia's lands, there is a wisp that terrifies the priests. | Hengist's coming to get you, Horsa | |
| 2005 Apr 19 | In praise of whelks, I roam the moors: | Enough To Warrant Onions | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | In San Francisco, on the trams | Visiting the Mortals | |
| 2006 Jan 10 | In search of the perfect asparagus | Nobody Shaves Oswald | |
| 2003 Jul 1 | In Seville, bitter oranges grow ripe in the sun | Cities | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | In shimmering skies the clouds were humming | Rain is No Substitute | |
| 2005 Jul 4 | In spite of all your after-shave | Enough Bagels Disavowed | |
| 2000 May 16 | In Spring | Matters Heretical | |
| *** | 2003 Nov 14 | In the beginning Bob created the woman and the beer | Recycling Genesis |
| 2000 Jun 6 | In the beginning was the Herd: | That's That Over With | |
| 2001 Oct 5 | In the burrows of the Nightmare | The Warped Toboggan (Auden Medal Awarded Posthumouly) | |
| 2000 May 29 | In the darkness of the night | Under the Adriatic | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | in the darkness of the night | Night Before Time Immoderate | |
| 2000 Jul 31 | In the dead of night, lit by pale moonlight | It's Meadowlark Lemmon | |
| 2001 Apr 13 | In the deepest part of the pool | Hook Performance | |
| 2002 Dec 9 | In the depths of Epping town | Documentary Highlight | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | In the evening came the cycles | The Ill-drained Threesome | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | In the evening came the cycles | Pleasingly Cyclical | |
| 1997 Dec 19 | In the field, no break of day | Therapeutic Heresies | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | In the land where the brain-fart trees grow | Agriculture Good And Bad | |
| 2002 Jan 15 | In the mountains outside Swindon | The Oboe Omelettes | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | In the pages of a dusty book | Food | |
| 2001 Aug 9 | In the palace of my mind, a lonely spirit walks. | The Oyster Interval | |
| 2004 Jul 8 | In the second shopping-trolley | Purse Maps | |
| 2002 Feb 12 | In the Sudan, there lived five men | Armadeep Looked Out | |
| 2000 Feb 3 | In the tallest tree | The Sun Wolf | |
| 2003 Apr 18 | In the timeless forests of the north | Accidents to Unwary Playmates | |
| 2007 Feb 18 | In the trysting parlour | Of Not, Of Not | |
| 1999 Jan 20 | In the warm air | When We Were Proteins | |
| 1998 Dec 16 | In the winter's brutal smile | Spray-on Orkney Sweater | |
| 2005 Dec 23 | In these forests, aroundabout, | Abundance Throughout Pompeii | |
| 1998 Nov 18 | In this ballet, cochineal | Marrying Kine | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | In this city there are no angels | Dystopia The Moose | |
| 2005 Sep 1 | In this haystack, L. P. Hartley | My Third Empire | |
| 2004 Jan 16 | In this one thing all others meet | Sector Vector Ejector | |
| 2000 Jun 1 | In this unspeakable foreboding year, our doom | Jesus With Underdone Omelette | |
| 2005 Sep 21 | In this wise, the King of Thebes | Caramel Christmas | |
| 2004 Sep 17 | In time to come, rememb'rance of this hour | Epic Oration Looms To Starboard | |
| 1998 May 2 | In times of stress I like to scratch my foot | Kate's Gruttock Impaler | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Inaccurate, like any map | My Misadventures Began in Cleveland | |
| 2004 Apr 29 | Incantations - dead of night - | Nuns Betray Our Laxative Supplies | |
| 2000 Dec 5 | Incas ... dreadful drinkers, | If Sluices Matter | |
| 2005 Jul 27 | Incursions 4, Evasions 5 | Bismuth Bill Again | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Indeed the overweening queen | A Royal Disaster | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | Indescribably delicious doodads | Floating My Delicious | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Ineluctably, you woo me. The clouds | Wooing under the Clouds | |
| 2004 Oct 9 | Infestation's not a problem, but the cure! | Hens Pretend To Bend Spoons | |
| 2000 Feb 19 | Inflamed by passion and a touch of flu | The Yellow Singing Turncoats | |
| 1999 Feb 2 | Inflamed with paranoia | Endless Power, Our Sole Accomplishment | |
| 2005 Aug 1 | Ingest this canapé of grime? | Heathen Lent | |
| 2003 Oct 22 | Inside this barrel - don't you know? - | Cooper's Atomic Dogmeal | |
| 2003 Dec 10 | Inspiration isn't need - not when you're a pote | "Enough!" Said Old McDonald | |
| 2000 Mar 20 | Instruction none of us are free | Angels, Whenever You Cough | |
| 2001 Nov 15 | Interlinear is the best | Entropy Without Harlots | |
| 2007 Jan 22 | Into emporia crammed with grime, | Unchained Malady | |
| 2001 Feb 28 | Into the cauldron of possibility | Arresting the Compositor | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Into the unblinking eyes of children | A Civilised Child, Lost for Moments | |
| *** | 2001 Nov 21 | Invitation, contradiction, punctuation, wedded bliss | Who Will Seldom Live Unseen? |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Irresistibly, I feel drawn | Drawn | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | Is Haiku passe? | When The Wings Are Spread Like Mustard | |
| 2001 Nov 5 | Is it a bug or a feature? | Cutlery Tissues | |
| 2003 Nov 9 | Is it a source of insolent pride | Etruscan! Tuscan! Bohemian! Persian! Theban? | |
| 1999 Aug 27 | Is it so? Have you not heard? | Googlehimmel (Pathetic Science) | |
| 2004 Sep 7 | Is it such a sin to lust | Left Handed And Concealed In Murky Allusions | |
| *** | 2006 May 30 | Is no-one here to waken me? | Phoenix, Bored |
| 2004 Aug 5 | Is solitaire a virtue? | Patience Is Never Compared To Hopscotch | |
| 2004 Mar 23 | Is that your usual tone of voice? | Refusenik Attitudes Long Considered Passé | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | Is the meaning of poetry lost in the ages? | Rhyme | |
| 2003 Dec 8 | Is there anything I can say | From Here, Hence And Further | |
| 2000 Apr 11 | Is this all | Fleeing Another Bloody Tuesday | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Is this what we've come to? | Housemaids Singing on Sunday | |
| 2003 Oct 28 | It | Mouldy Hiccough | |
| 2003 Mar 20 | It be not hard to speaketh like the Bard | Broken SmARTISTS | |
| 2004 Jul 7 | It came upon the midnight clear | Lighthouse Magic | |
| 2003 Nov 6 | It didn't have to end this way | If They Reversed The Creosote | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | It is an ancient wrestler | Please Pass the Wrestler | |
| 2006 Sep 1 | It is said that a codpiece, selected to cover | Elizabethan Lemonade | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | It is the blackest of blacks | Void White Truth | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | It is the faintest of sounds | Seduction Are Us | |
| 2004 May 21 | It is time, I think we'd all agree, | We Flee Toward The Far Journey | |
| 2004 Aug 18 | It isn't right, it isn't wrong | Evidence From Pablum Mechanics | |
| 1998 Jun 21 | It may have been a Tuesday - the bus was late again | Protracted, Dreamlike, Hermetic, Peculiar, Helpless | |
| 2003 Jul 31 | It might've been his husky voice | A Story About Her Master's Mustache | |
| 2004 Feb 8 | It moves an inch a minute | The Oast-House Symposium | |
| 2003 Dec 12 | It seemed (to | Somebody Is Rotting | |
| 2005 Jan 4 | It seemed as though I'd never been away | Houndstooth Canal | |
| 2004 Aug 17 | It started at quarter to one | Robbers Never Stopped Us Before Lunch | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | It started out as molecules, swimming in the primal soup | Today We Are In The Mists | |
| 2004 May 27 | It started with a glottal stop | Aspirated Eyeball, Innit? | |
| 2005 Nov 23 | It takes a man with real strength to deplore | Fester's Last Words | |
| 2004 Sep 28 | It was a very shambles | Criterion For Studiousness In Death | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | It was much softer yesterday | Too Worse | |
| 2002 Feb 17 | It was on just a night such as this | National Gnu Stun Atrophy | |
| 1997 Mar 10 | It was something to do with marmalade | Your Strict Horses Inhibit My Double Repetition | |
| 2000 Jan 29 | It wasn't my intention to rebuild the world at large | Weathered Wedding: The Empyrean Dust | |
| 2004 Jan 29 | It's a glossary, they claim, | Frugal Jars Of Mine Filled With Other Piglets | |
| 2002 Oct 28 | It's a long haul to Christmas, a long time to toil | This Way, Lord Byron | |
| 2001 May 23 | It's a noble bird, is your gannet | Palace Challenge to the Party | |
| 2000 May 15 | It's a terrible start to a poem | Essay - Let's Not | |
| 2005 Oct 11 | It's a wonderful life, to be sure | Gabriel, So Rotund | |
| 2003 Aug 16 | It's always darkest just before it gets lighter | Scone Clichés | |
| 1999 May 17 | It's best to smile | Anthem of Unfinished Toenails | |
| 2004 Mar 3 | It's fine to play the didgeridoo, but please not in the office loo | Musical Accomplishments Involving Instruments Of Zinc | |
| 2004 Feb 24 | It's not just the hole in the dyke | Whence Cometh Our Whelp With Its Peculiar Outlook? | |
| 1997 Mar 10 | It's not my cup of tea | Perpetual Nestled Teacups | |
| 2004 Dec 15 | It's not the custom, nowadays | Sidcup Half-remembered | |
| 2001 Aug 31 | It's now been raining hereabouts for more than half a year | While Columbus Never Bothered | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | It's time for a limerick now | Sigh and Suicide | |
| 2003 Nov 29 | It's time to shampoo my peruke | Sold For Leather | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | It's time we rearranged the border | Let The Litmus Decide | |
| 2003 Dec 1 | Items that do not give offence | Mittens Disturb | |
| 1998 Apr 19 | Its stuns me, like it stuns us all | From Underneath Diana's Toast | |
| 2003 Sep 11 | Ive just seen my feet for the first time in years | On The Toes | |
| 2002 Apr 18 | Jack of the desperate moments | The Circumference Spoon | |
| 2003 Oct 30 | Jacques Chirac would eat no snack | No Fry-up For Presidents | |
| 2001 Oct 9 | Jarrow is my noble home | Hideous Indeed | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | Jazz, pizzazz, and razzmatazz | Do Bubba Nano | |
| 2004 Jan 21 | Jeeze, I can't find my knees | The Dimmer-Switch Disease | |
| 2002 Apr 15 | Jemima was a nurse-maid | Maybe Not the Frozen Finger-Print | |
| *** | 1998 Oct 22 | Jemima: take this catapult | Propose The Impossible |
| 2004 Aug 24 | Jesuitical was his way | Raskolnikov Spotless, Adrift Upon Oceans | |
| 2004 Nov 24 | Join the dance, you naiads all, | All Things Can Be Overturned In Time | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Jonathan and Mary | They Abruptly | |
| 2003 Sep 11 | Journal Entries | One Less Day to Remember | |
| 1998 Aug 1 | Judge this breakfast lightly | Who Once was Orson's Vampire | |
| 2006 Apr 20 | Judicious combination | Each Circle Will Shake | |
| 2004 Jan 20 | Judicious pruning - of a bush - | Despite Differences In Our Neckties | |
| 2005 Jul 19 | Juicy plums for me to bite! | High Teeth | |
| 2006 Dec 15 | Just a hint of twilight | Hidden Works | |
| 2005 Jul 5 | Just a taste of sunshine | The Sanskrit Kirk Railings | |
| 2005 Feb 11 | Just a tingling kind of pain | Desperate Kippers | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | Just before the avalanche | Landscapes Fail | |
| 2003 Nov 21 | Just before the doorbell rang, my lids had fallen shut | Hunting The Innocent | |
| 2005 Jan 23 | Just dethrone me, once per week, | Lichens | |
| 2005 Feb 23 | Just imagine thirteen cakes aglitter in the night: | Gorgon Cookies | |
| 2004 Feb 17 | Just say "Baroque" and choral hymns | Composers In The Ground | |
| 2004 Nov 29 | Just take a breath - we'll sort this out | Things Are Annoying Everywhere | |
| 2003 Dec 27 | Kaboom and kerplunk, vavoom and achoo | Splat Went The Fig Custard Fruitcakes | |
| 2005 Jul 11 | Kaleidoscopes in bronze and zinc | Highways, Byways, Afterthoughts | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | Kansas Sam's brain overheated | Strange Bits Of Filth | |
| 2006 Jan 14 | Kansas Sam, Beefy, Will H, Karin, Grayman et al. | They May Well Abandon Ship | |
| 2004 Aug 25 | Kaolin | Reaper Without Envy | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | Keats and Sandburg, Dickinson, Yeats | Down Hallways and Corridors | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Keep all new songs as softly sweet as mine | Transcribed by Strangers that Float | |
| *** | 1998 Mar 20 | Keep your vigil - face the facts | Whiskers of Anonymity |
| 1998 Mar 15 | Keeping pace on cobbled lanes, | Caramel Cribbage-Board | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | Ken Dodd's dad's dog's dead | Twister Tokens | |
| 1997 Feb 2 | Key of diamonds, tempest | Hanging (Tidal) | |
| 2003 Oct 6 | Kick down the door of the lipstick factory | Hammering On The Eyeliner | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Kielbasa is a sausage quite sublime | Food for the Twin | |
| 2003 Nov 2 | Kiss me quick and go | Kissable Landlords In Jeopardy | |
| 2002 Jul 26 | Know how the filbert leaps | Dark of Wanton | |
| 1998 Jul 21 | Kropotkin claimed that all he saw | Behind Every Grimacing Badger... | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | Kruschev and me | Kindly Mind My Zoo | |
| 2004 Feb 4 | Labouring dismally under a sky | Rebel Angels, Mountain Dance | |
| 2003 Oct 15 | Lacerated insights pour into my head | Haunted Colours | |
| 2004 Jun 2 | Lanky Hank was the tallest of Sherpas | Oftentimes Manet Tried Somersaulting Over Renoir | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Lapwings on my shoulders, nickels in my purse | Whacky | |
| 2004 Nov 29 | Last night I had the strangest dream | Visions Of Shouting Greengrocers | |
| 2003 Dec 29 | Late Christmas Eve the lot was dark, and so I filched a tree | Pay Cash For Everything Except Unguents | |
| 2004 Mar 23 | Later than the final hour | Peptic Ulster | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | Latin died and Gaelic's not so well | Storm the Language Barricade! | |
| 1998 Oct 3 | Lay thee at my rump, thou contumelious sot | Shakespeare's apparent homily diverts the Thames ferry-men | |
| 1999 Jan 5 | Lazy day, bowl o' porridge before me | Cherubic Implant in My Succubus | |
| 2005 Feb 7 | Leastways, said the meter man, You'll always have some fish | Good-luck To Endless Sorrow | |
| 2003 Oct 16 | Len reported Clara to the fashion commissar | They Who Remove Buttons From Unsuspecting Harlots | |
| 2004 Jul 2 | Leonardo da Vinci | The Universe Eyed From The Back Row | |
| 2003 Jan 23 | Less than catarrh | Fauré, Mendacious In Cairo, | |
| 2003 Oct 26 | Lest we profit from the slides | Profit and the Usual Umbrage | |
| 2002 Oct 31 | Let her curl up and sleep on the railway | Raptures of Our Lady Bromide | |
| 2004 Apr 2 | Let me be the first to say, it's nice to have you back | Gathering Clouds While Visigoths Circle | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | Let me describe the love of my life | Faintly Wild, Like Justice and Love | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | Let the sun shine in! Or let it rain. | Contemplate the Stuff | |
| 2004 Jan 14 | Let us be pretentious, erudite, utilizing abstruse references, esoterica | Prefaces Are Lovely | |
| 2006 Jun 24 | Let us go then, you and I | Outwardly Nubile | |
| 2002 Nov 19 | Let us go then, you and I, | Shake My Garnish | |
| 2004 Mar 12 | Let us now praise famous men | Frauds? Yes | |
| 2007 Jan 11 | Let us now praise famous mounds | Spurned To Glory | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | Let us now swim in Lake Erie | Limerick About a Trout | |
| 2003 Sep 13 | Let us praise a country maestro: Johnny Cash | Cash Elegy | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Let us praise the humble ceiling fan. | Ode to the Attic | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Let us retire to France | The Flawed, But Somehow Delightful Vacation | |
| 2001 Nov 22 | Let's be quick! Their backs are turned | Afternoon Prayers, Being a Master-Class for Emissaries of Torpor | |
| 2003 Oct 7 | Let's build a mountain | Dancing JCB | |
| 2004 Jan 21 | Let's desist, this time, from writing trash, | The Comma Which Causes | |
| 2004 May 21 | Let's keep this one simple | Semaphore Statements Issued In Urdu | |
| 1999 Dec 26 | Let's not add another word | The Equilibrium Rankles | |
| 2004 May 27 | Let's not expect the moon | Keeping Her Through Ignorance | |
| 2004 Feb 2 | Let's not forget the little ones | A Plurality Because Of Our Nausea | |
| 2005 May 17 | Lethal injection, on the tide, | Tears Before Tonsils | |
| 2003 Jan 17 | Licensed to kill, my dear | Rumour Pills | |
| 1997 Jun 28 | Life for a girl is a sensual map | Mudwoman, repent! | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Life is like a coconut | A Three-Life Exercise | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Life passes by at a thousand miles an hour | Strange Stretched | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | Like a russian doll, or perhaps an onion | The Page is a Cube | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | Like a small child in a candy store | Pollyanna Has Mugged Me | |
| 2003 Oct 19 | Like a snake, your smile stretches | Smiles Bestow Blessings | |
| 1999 Dec 1 | Like fish, attracted to a flame | One Blonde Speaking After Silence | |
| 2003 Jun 16 | Like hoarfrost on the juniper | Tiny Problems | |
| 2003 Jan 8 | Like rising, having slept for years, | Gloves of Careful Nutmeg | |
| 1998 Jun 7 | Like spoons they lie, a front to back, | Marching with Redemption Balloons | |
| 2000 Apr 17 | Like this sample of elation | The Callously-Burnt Marathon | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | Lilliputians in my lap | Lilliputians - My Play on Their Set | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Limerick Funfest | Limerick Whore | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | List of Chores | Beep List | |
| 2003 Dec 1 | Listen, my children, and you shall hear | Collisions | |
| 2004 Jul 9 | Little boys with little toys | Believe What You Will But Doubt Nothing Excepting Yourself | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Little children, gather 'round and I will tell a tale | Whales are Silent Warriors | |
| 2003 Jul 31 | Little girl, look in the window. What do you, what do you see? | Look Askance | |
| 2005 Mar 10 | Little Jack Horner sat in a corner | Wherever Tuesday Blues | |
| 2000 Dec 19 | Living in a dream | Deserts East of Harwich | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | Lollipops and bubblegum, jujubes and dots | Bubblegum and Scrabble | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | Long and short: Venus emits gas at sunrise | That Later | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Long, long ago, in Camelot | Camelot - an Ongoing Investigation | |
| 2002 Jun 11 | Long, long ago, in old Tashkent | Testimonial for Pier Café Raiders | |
| 2000 Nov 24 | Longshot: five apostles | Possibly Wasting My Days | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | Looking down through the shadows | Pantoum of Brevity | |
| 1999 Nov 9 | Lot Seventeen: two lightweight combs | To Bypass Cartesian Notation | |
| 1999 Jan 7 | Louder than a hill of cheese | Brain Pump Outlet | |
| 2004 Jan 4 | Love, shmov--I'm jaded now | Betokening Bitterness | |
| *** | 2003 Jun 21 | Lucinda' big sister chowed down on plutonium | Theory of Everything on Tap |
| 2005 Sep 20 | Lucy Skeaping, queen of myst'ry, | Subway Tools Again | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | lying in a ditch of binjo | Googly | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | Madame Curie created quite a glow | Glow Experimental | |
| 2006 May 11 | Made deaf by the sound of the sea | White Hotels, Lakes Ablaze, And Blossoms All Falling | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Madness and despair have haunted me | Naked Halluciantions of Night | |
| 2004 Nov 3 | Magnetic fields, an iron horse | In My Long-lost Wellingtons | |
| 2003 Oct 22 | Majestic as a pikestaff was old Jim, | The Halibut Swears To Attack | |
| 1999 Mar 28 | Make a portrait of King George upon the very sod | Who Desecrates the Vector? | |
| 2004 Apr 29 | Make love to me as if you'd spent | Marmots Roam Willy-nilly Across Naked And Glistening Tundras | |
| 2002 Oct 14 | Marge sees not her hem's afire, | Laconic as Pestilence | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | Marie looked, but saw herself no more, | Tuppence For The Battery | |
| 1998 Dec 7 | Marmaduke was searching for the never-ending flute | These honeycombed faces | |
| 2004 Jan 9 | Mars is being explored--and wow, are we excited! | Invaders From Rabbit-holes, Snout First | |
| 2006 Mar 6 | Massive friction, from her waist, | Chance Coupling Without The Responsibility | |
| 2003 Aug 23 | Matilda tolled the churchyard bell | But For a Novice | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | Maxine's coming into town, but look at all this | Gingersnaps (Why Dress Up?) | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | May we address you in verse? | Some Poet Unknown | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | Maybe now, or maybe later | More Sweepings | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | Me and my loneliness; we often talk | An Elliptical Doppelganger | |
| 2004 Jul 7 | Meander into Shropshire, in the old MG, | Tin-openers Practising What? | |
| 2004 Jul 7 | Meathook | Prosperity Falters If Poverty Persists Beyond The Breadline | |
| 2004 Feb 22 | Meet me in the arboretum | Clandestine Openings Like That | |
| 1999 Jun 21 | Meet my typing-tutor | Fracturating Kippers: This Homophonic Harmonium | |
| 1999 Jun 28 | Mellow jazz oozes from the speakers | Midsummer Fails Everyone | |
| 2005 Apr 12 | Men who pause | Over Blighty Dipping | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Mendicant Sam was a broken man | Folks Who Smoke Soap | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | Mercator's projection had one tiny flaw | From Prussia Without Stamps | |
| 1997 May 21 | Merry munchkins mangle macaroons on Mondays | Unrealistic Coconuts | |
| 2002 May 27 | Might I dream once more? Of russet dawns and clouds? | TV Chasm and Clitoral Yawning | |
| 2004 Oct 13 | Mildenhall; I choose to doubt | Lest We Forge Biscuits For Orphaned Presidents | |
| 2006 Jan 11 | Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord | Trampling Your Toes On | |
| 2002 Oct 3 | Mine is not a ranicd bun, served steaming on a plate, | Aldershot's Unhappy History of Gardening Compromises | |
| 2000 Nov 22 | Mine is the cat that is eating your trout | Exceptions That Shimmer | |
| 2000 Oct 24 | Mine is the eggcup, yours is the hake, | Integumental Teletubbies (Seventeen Hours Ago) | |
| 2003 Dec 10 | Mine was only mortar | Biscuitry In Clean Sheets | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Misanthropic canteloupes are plotting in the dark | Weird Garden | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | Miss Piggy was making a fuss | He Knew I Was a Frog | |
| 2006 Apr 4 | Mississipi, come to me! | Echoes Of Ashes | |
| 2004 Jan 3 | Mistaken for a crayfish | On A String Covered Ottoman | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | Monday's light brought dreams of birth | No Week Planner | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | Moneypenny's not a happy bunny | Licensed to Kill Everything | |
| 2005 Feb 9 | Monosyllables | Perfect Pitchers | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Monsters in the garden | Garden Shoes of the Vaudeville Monsters | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | Moon bars, moonbeams, mooning honeymooners | Moooon | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | Moonbeams and fairy dust, stardust and ambosia | When Ambrosia of the Peppermint... | |
| 2003 Feb 7 | Moonlight softened the angry lines | Control of Our Feet in Darkness | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | MORE GOOFY HAIKUS | But a Pizza Means the End of Thunderstorms | |
| 2003 Aug 31 | More haiku you say? | Are You Better? | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | MORE LIMERICKS! | Anyone Who Whinges Can Go Elsewhere | |
| 2006 Mar 9 | More of me, and less of you | Not A Proper Postman | |
| 1999 Nov 23 | Mortar, crust of lies | The Herrings' Adieu (Striding Akimbo) | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | Most cats repent of all their sins | Shriven | |
| 2003 Oct 22 | Mostly air, my lost parade | Regional Railway Sensibilities | |
| 2003 Aug 13 | Mother Theresa sported a wart | Mother One | |
| 2003 Sep 27 | Motivation now departed, though the day is not yet done | Friday Goof-Off | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Moving softly through the symphony | Melodies by Journeymen | |
| 2005 Oct 14 | Moving twice | No Carborundum | |
| 2004 Mar 12 | Mow the news is out | Beyond Her Final Finery | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | Much to my dismay, I turned seventy today | Septuagenarians | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | Multiple line submissions | Tricky Fellow Am I | |
| 2003 Sep 27 | Mumbles not heard on any Pink Floyd album: | Noodle Ingests Itself | |
| 2003 Jul 25 | mummeries cast brightly upon lavender sidewalks | Rubicund Mummeries | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | Must you hone your scimitar? | Ultimate Detergent | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | My battery is draining | All My Complaints | |
| 2003 Jun 22 | My blog is narcissistic, though its readers, voyeuristic, | Pig Lint Hit | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | My boots they are not filigree'd | Silly Clothes | |
| 2000 Jun 8 | My brides lined up in order | Courtly Like The Dancing Cobra | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | My buddy, Moe, is getting old | The Ageless Golden Fleece | |
| 2006 Apr 26 | My bunny lies over the ocean | Attempts At Ironic Posturing | |
| 2004 Nov 4 | My cat has six claws on her frontmost two paws | Zoology Students On Holiday | |
| 2004 Jan 19 | My cat is too fat | The Everlasting Pets | |
| 2004 Jan 28 | My chronic youth would soon speed past | Hamlet With Fish | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | My computer's on the blink | Silicon Dreams | |
| 2004 Mar 30 | My cummerbund was missing | Rites For Responsible Raisins | |
| 1999 Dec 31 | My daughter! My daughter! the old wizard cried | Merlin's Legendary Lost Oaths | |
| 2000 Feb 13 | My dear Professor, listen | Dancing Peculiar | |
| 2004 Jul 19 | My dear, have you lost your panache? | Beep Road | |
| 2002 Dec 12 | My dove, Suzette, she lays in wait | Big Orchids In Dead Marriage | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | My eyelashes are black | Never Reaches Glory | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | My eyes have grown too tired for seeing | That Memory of No-One | |
| 2004 Oct 22 | My foot is stuck; I cannot move | Massacred By Melting Geology | |
| 2002 Nov 8 | My fourteenth friend cannot be seen from here | Impressions of the National Arthritic Gallery | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | My glitzy one, my little twerp | Fishies Swimming Silently | |
| 2003 May 3 | My goldfish likes to do the monkey bars | Fruitful Duck Soup | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | My gorgonzola often swells | Gorgonzola Prevaricates | |
| *** | 1999 Jan 18 | My grandmother told me on one grand occasion | When We Reconsider All Our Footsteps |
| 2003 Nov 7 | My head is full of fish, I fear | Piggy And The Penguin Bankers | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | My headcheese does stink | Scrapple Lovin' | |
| 2003 Jan 27 | My hermitage, lodged safely on the crag | Samantha's Sinister Hockey Tour | |
| 2002 Apr 29 | My ice-cream dribbled into the soft earth, as Rachel | Apricot Britain | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | My imagination runs a little wild at times | Morbid Obsessions With Broccoli | |
| 1998 Mar 21 | My lamp-post charm, my seventh life | Zimmerman's Sour Grapes | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | My life is like a grapefruit | Fruit Is Like Life | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | My life is like a mouse-trap | Overcome Heart | |
| 2000 May 9 | My life is like an open road (yes, people walk on me) | I'm Pitifully Happy Wherever There Are Spoonbills | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | My little pal never leaves me | The Circling Saucers Of Sirius | |
| 2003 Nov 21 | My love is like a red, red nose | Burns With Mayflowers Downstream | |
| 2002 Dec 2 | My love is like a red, red snapper | Bereft Between Widows | |
| 2002 Jun 28 | My love is like a rushing stream, of vigour full and free, | Squirrel-bitten, the Similes Decay | |
| 2003 Jul 21 | My love is sailing to Toledo | Separation Athletic | |
| 2003 Nov 1 | My Love was born on Halloween | Irresistible Types | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | My love's inclined to wear a hat | And Now Hard Skirts | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | My luv is like a red red rose | Untitled | |
| 2002 Nov 15 | My metaphor is drawn from ice | Pension Rites After Sex | |
| 2000 May 17 | My mind's eye, all in sepia | Awkwardnesses Committed Unknowingly By Archangels On Speed | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | My mother-in-law, my mother-in law | Mother-in-law with Oregano | |
| 2006 Jun 24 | My neighbours, then, the nomads | Torment Jemima For Bothering | |
| 2002 Dec 5 | My new Gemini space-craft leaks | Knowing About Astromancy | |
| 2003 Apr 1 | My notion of 'A Life of Woe' | Woeful Enigma | |
| 2006 Mar 15 | My old conveyor belt | Where Is It Going To End? | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | My only brush with India | The Gospel of Even Numbers | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | My own dear love does seldom fart | Mukluks Sometimes | |
| 1999 Apr 9 | My parachute has broken and I don't know how to fall | Neoplastic Ha'penny | |
| 2004 Jan 11 | My penchant's mathematical | His Own Lewd Vespers | |
| 2002 Nov 28 | My philosophy is very clear | Phenomenology for Carrots | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | My political agenda: | Yammering Agenda | |
| 2002 Jan 14 | My regard for you does not acknowledge borders! | Fawning Without Distinction | |
| 2005 Oct 11 | My salad days were mainly spent | Ghent Is Abandoned Now, So Gloucester Weeps | |
| 2004 Jan 25 | My sister's just ripped a tractor in two | Rural Consternation | |
| 2004 Jan 1 | My sister, Sue, has several suitors | Hake Sprouts | |
| 2000 Feb 2 | My skeleton, in bony dreams | The Superlunary Hairdryer | |
| 2003 May 10 | My Spiderman was killed by Zach | Industrial-Strength Wrigley's | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | My tea warms my hands | Tea Calms, Warmth Invades | |
| 2005 Jan 25 | My tension's most unmenstrual, | Haddock Versus Anchovies: Discuss | |
| 1999 Feb 28 | My tribal ways | How Death Became Moonshine | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | My tutu's not starched and my toe shoes are scuffed | The Circus Elephant Blues | |
| 2004 Aug 30 | My Uncle says, "The weasel never sings." | Channel The Avuncular | |
| 2004 Jan 22 | My usual muse has gone for good | Omicron Froat | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | My wardrobe is my pride and joy | Of Paisley | |
| 2004 Jan 20 | My wife is nibbling at my neck | Impasto Throughout Australasia | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | My, my! All my underpants are gone! | I Shall Cope | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Myself when young did eagerly frequent | The Backwards Time | |
| 2003 Mar 7 | Naked, dripping, loins all soap and tension, I rise from the bath | Dead, Undone, Unmeasured | |
| 2001 Nov 8 | Nascent longing, unrecognized, but pure: | Wittgenstein's Spare Puma | |
| 2002 Aug 5 | Necessity's the mother of invention | Eyelash Radio | |
| 2001 Mar 9 | Necromancy doesn't work, my uncle used to say | Amusing-Esoteric | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | Neglecting the home repairs I couldn't do last winter | Butter Belly Fanclub | |
| 1996 Nov 12 | Neither of the archetypes was very much in vogue | Blow-torch Conquests | |
| 2007 Apr 11 | Neo® caught me unawares | Our Blessed Foolery Again | |
| 2007 Feb 14 | Nerina Pallot® sings divinely | Who Shall Own Nerina Pallot | |
| 1999 Apr 4 | Never deny that I warned you | A Dire Tenderness | |
| 2003 Nov 8 | Never did I dream that she would call a spade a spade | Is Confused By | |
| 2003 Nov 6 | Never have I seen a more delightful face than yours | The Makeup Trowel | |
| 1999 Jun 17 | Never in the history of this our Mother Earth | Remember My Helicopter? | |
| 2005 Jul 25 | Never measured, never loved, | His Trusty League | |
| 2002 Jun 11 | Never mind the problem throat | Adventurous Wednesday | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Never tip a robot waiter | Don't Do Never | |
| 2000 Nov 3 | Never, in the field behind the gasworks | Bees Hover Like Bees | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Newbie, newbisti, newbit | The Meagre Friend of Jugs | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Nine yards matter, when in zoos or farms an unclear sign | What Is Best For Each | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall | Reeling From The Effects Of Beer | |
| 2004 May 10 | No I never joined in | Trios Yet | |
| 2006 Jun 9 | No lack of contentious divisions | The Thursday Matinee | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | No man is an igloo | Iceman | |
| 2002 Jan 9 | No man is an isthmus | Is Santa Powerless? | |
| 2006 Aug 9 | No mistress is so passing fair | Kill None But The Brave Lover | |
| 2002 Mar 6 | No more peaches! No more cream! I'm off to sail the seas! | Uppity Evidence | |
| 2004 Aug 20 | No more strumpets, | Biblical Sheep-dip Nonsense | |
| 1997 Mar 2 | No, Man IS an island | Territorial Seas Revisited | |
| 2006 May 10 | Nobody comes, nobody goes | Love For A Piglet | |
| 2003 Oct 24 | Nobody loses all the time | Worm Turning Circle | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | Nosy spoonbillers | Ugly Secrets | |
| 2004 Aug 9 | Not a feather, nor a leaf, | Fish Remedies For Mischief | |
| 2006 Feb 25 | Not another nugget | Decorated With Hasty Stitches | |
| 2003 Dec 11 | Not every poem can please each aesthete | Wahhh! Sob Sniff! | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Not my muscle! | The Sun-Drenched Arctic | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | Not spacious, like a blunderbus | Wenches, Rogues, Wrestlers | |
| 2006 Jul 1 | Now harken to a tale so vile | Lingerie Throughout | |
| 2003 Jul 31 | Now here is a story, it's really quite gory and really quite sad to relate | Fogey | |
| 2000 May 1 | Now I am old, and in men's eyes I see | When We Got Bob Plastered... | |
| 2006 Aug 3 | Now if six turned out to be nine | Craig Levy, Moorhen | |
| 2003 Jun 17 | Now is the moment! Grasp the nettle! | Trout Pox Toast Farming | |
| 2002 Jan 8 | Now is the time for Algood men | Diaspora With Noodles | |
| 2000 Dec 14 | Now is the time for joyful feasts | Happy Those Who Bother Not To Wash Emus | |
| *** | 1999 Nov 1 | Now listen, please. I've brought you here | Over-baked blossom |
| 2000 Nov 10 | Now my charms are all o'erthrown | Drawing-Rooms, The Only Terminus | |
| 2000 Nov 8 | Now the fat is in the fire | Spanner Hatred | |
| 2004 Mar 4 | Now the news is out, | It's Unoffically Denied Until Proven | |
| 1997 Oct 7 | Now the tyrant knows the truth | Yes, Longer | |
| 1999 Mar 10 | Now, children, gather round, and I will tell you of Old Tom | Seal Cobblers | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Now, hearken, I'll tell you the tale | Batman and Gawain (The Quest) | |
| 2001 Jan 24 | Now, here's a story | Unhappy Stampede | |
| 2003 Dec 19 | Number ninety-seven was a worker at the plant | The Mundane Factory Blues | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | Nymphs and satyrs, centaurs and dryads | Pie Trappings | |
| 2004 Feb 20 | O sober reflection | How Can It Be Moss If It Grows Faster? | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | O Universe, O sparkling void, teach me of thy ways | Genesis is the Only Truth | |
| 1997 May 28 | Octopus, the raven-haired | The Eagle Fallen | |
| 2004 Feb 5 | Of all the nights I've spent abroad | Concealed In Plain Leather | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | Of brooding springs, and hooting rocks | Not For Edification | |
| 1998 Dec 11 | Of course | Puberty with Cheeseburger | |
| 2004 Dec 9 | Of sacred cows and catered sows | Prone To Tautologies | |
| 2007 Apr 13 | Off to other hemispheres | Three Blonde Mice | |
| 2003 Sep 11 | Oft had I heard of Lucy Gray | Package Surprise, Not Surprise Package | |
| 2004 Jun 29 | Oh blessed fragment of the foam | The Fourth Alibi From The Left | |
| 2003 Aug 8 | Oh fratulous wrontings, enfrog me | Vogon Blood Music | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Oh how I loathe thee let me count the ways | Naughty Sonnet | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | Oh how I loathe thee, let me count the ways | Disregard | |
| 2003 Aug 9 | Oh me oh my | Mistakes Always | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | Oh papa, look! A jolly bruin | In Vicious Family Circles | |
| 2006 Mar 29 | Oh raucous bleating | Seeing As We Amuse Your Garden | |
| 2000 Nov 15 | Oh ripely reeking Camembert! | Glistening Obbligatos | |
| 2007 Jan 22 | Oh Wally! Won't you start your car, | The Fifth Vatican Innuendo | |
| 2002 Dec 15 | Oh! My sombrero is the finest, | Chocolate Elvis During Sessions | |
| 1998 Mar 11 | OH! FEY! Cried the winged eel fingerling, | Nabobs and Frumps | |
| 1997 Jan 31 | Oh! How I hate his leaking bladder! | Diagnostic Encomium | |
| 2006 Jun 20 | Oh! So now you're telling me | Occasionally He Thinks | |
| 2004 Jan 30 | Oh, innocents, listen in time | Baroness Buttercup | |
| 2004 Apr 29 | Oh, it's all quite ghastly | Ghastly Appendages | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Oh, my God, it never ends | Longing | |
| 2004 May 25 | Oh, say can you see, by the dawn's early light | Ellis Inland | |
| 2003 Nov 4 | Oh, the claws, they should not be | Monster Showtime | |
| 2003 Jun 28 | Oh, to be Home now summer is here.... | Imperfection | |
| 2000 Nov 1 | Oh, what can ail thee, Knave of Hearts, | Keats Knew His Mind | |
| 2002 Jul 18 | Oh, why solicit further scorn | These are Vagaries | |
| 2003 Jul 21 | Oink on, you crazy pigman | Gamesmanship (The Piglets) | |
| 2002 Jun 17 | Old Uncle Tom made a nuclear bomb | Repeatedly Focal | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | On a dusty road in an outback town | Horseback Spirits of the Ghost Town | |
| 2004 Jul 13 | On a hilltop, left of Rheims, | Glaswegians In Time-share Bodies | |
| 2003 Jun 27 | On a moonful night, strangely bright | Each Recusrive Reader | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | On a night in september, 1982 | Nighttown | |
| 2003 Aug 8 | On board the good ship Mary Jane | Mizzen Manhood | |
| 2005 Dec 8 | On Boscombe Down, where Keats was born | Immaculate Threnodies by Augustan Bachelors | |
| 2004 Aug 26 | On coming home at last | They Astray | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | On Friday the seventh of May | A Fine Line Between Endless Cats | |
| 2003 Nov 1 | On Halloween lock all your doors | Spooks Like Us | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | On Helicon, the Muses gather round | Forlorn Ode To Verse | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | On Spoonbill we all write in verse | The Authors of Unsettled Remains | |
| 2002 Jul 29 | On Thames' Embankment, bright spring day | Abigail | |
| 1999 Jan 31 | On the far side of the beach: abyss | Her Daymare | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | On the first day of Google, my search term was to be | Merry Googling | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | On the morning of the seventh day of May | May I Apply for this Job? | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | On the night I was headed for townI went out and waved a cab down | Webfooted Drive Through Town | |
| 2003 Dec 6 | On the plains of Andalucia, I met a honking horse | Stop Playing Tiddlywinks When I'm Watching | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | On the Road to Nowhere | Nowhere in Particular (Man Talking) | |
| 2002 Apr 11 | On this desolate beach, a lost trinket | The Maritime Suction | |
| 2003 Oct 14 | On vacation, I saw a most Marvel-ous cave | Melted Rectories of Nyum-Nyum | |
| *** | 2004 Jun 1 | On viewing Chloe's coccyx | Wordsworth's Intention |
| 2003 Dec 13 | Once a brave Sultana | Sundry Things Spread Thinly | |
| 2002 Jun 17 | Once glutton, twice dry | Own Kempt Wonders | |
| 2003 Sep 16 | Once I flew to the moon, my wings dripped gold and blue | The Moon So Subtly Flying | |
| 2005 Jan 7 | Once quite temperamental | Is Nothing Valueless | |
| 1999 Aug 20 | Once upon a golden morn | The Etiquette of Hogwash Country | |
| 2002 May 9 | Once upon a greyhound dreary, | Flood-plain Eembargoes | |
| 2004 Feb 5 | Once upon a noontime cheery, as I daydreamed hale and hearty, | Two Hands Forwards, Two Peas Backwards | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Once upon a time a whore | Nightlong Battles | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Once upon a time in a faraway land | Flowing The Fable | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | Once upon a time, in a country faraway | The Gnomes Who Roll | |
| 2000 Nov 26 | Once, just once, could someone let me know | Once Is Never Too Rarely | |
| 2005 Jan 18 | One before the turning | The Hegemony Which Everybody Scorns | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | One bright September morning, the sky a crystal blue | The Queen Of All Chagrin | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | One day my name will be up in lights | Fifteen Broken Things | |
| 2005 Jun 3 | One day, I hope to play the concertina. | When Talents Droop As Feathers | |
| 2004 Feb 4 | One day, while I was walking | Destiny For My King Of Hastings | |
| 2002 Nov 12 | One escalator, one canoe: | Defeated by Professors of Usurpation | |
| 2005 Sep 11 | One for sorrow, two for fish | In Past Emporia | |
| 2004 Dec 9 | One for the money, two for joy | Please Let Us Pronounce Each Syllable Better | |
| 2000 Jan 21 | One has to keep one's end up, after all: | Unfastening Tycho's Forbidden Bra | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | One hundred and seventy four point six | Numbers Irrational | |
| 2003 Dec 5 | One misty, moisty morning, when cloudy was the weather | Bondage Followed Swiftly By Kickings | |
| 1997 Dec 17 | One Phoenix, hankering for love | The Hopeless Love Clients | |
| 2000 May 15 | One sonnet is too short to tell the charms | Drinking Electricity (Sonnet) | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | One summer afternoon, the snow was all around | Whether the Dweebs | |
| *** | 1998 Aug 7 | One: a sponge, of medium girth | Theory Comes Later |
| 2004 Feb 22 | Only a man. | Harvested From Unsavoury Pulpits | |
| 2005 Apr 21 | Only a quarter | Vestments In Velvet Of Midnight | |
| 2004 Jul 2 | Only a rose | Only Fools Rush | |
| 2007 Mar 19 | Onto Oban, with a snail, | They Taught Pointless Rules | |
| 2000 Jan 14 | Orificial | A Whole Inuit Tooth | |
| 2007 Feb 15 | Orthodontists wrecked my life | Clumps and Wisps | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Our curls may give a false impression | Who Would Right Their Wrongs? | |
| 2001 Dec 30 | Our lady of Sligo | Attempts To Separate Meniscus from Surface | |
| 2003 Oct 10 | Our old friend, haiku | Right Nestled Securely Among Wrong | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Our story was unfinished! We had not reached the end | Wienerpome | |
| 2006 Apr 21 | Out here in the wasteland | A Cynical Attitude Toward Roadrunners | |
| 2006 Jun 16 | Out here in the wasteland | Sacks Of Moonshine | |
| 2004 Jan 7 | Out, fry of lechery? | Gums And Tongues | |
| 1997 Apr 29 | Outrage at the orthodox | Tapioca Mouthwash | |
| 2002 Sep 24 | Outside the gates of Norwich | Because Bane Barks | |
| 2001 Oct 1 | Outside the gates of Swindon | Our Northern Weeds Notwithstanding | |
| 2003 Oct 30 | Ovegiously, he blarks the heen | Manure Can | |
| 1997 Aug 29 | Over the choppy leather line | Never Once Promising To Underestimate Buns | |
| 2003 Oct 7 | Over the listing, under the stamp | Horizons Known Only to the Certain | |
| 2000 Nov 23 | Painting the Register Office | Undo My Start | |
| 1997 Apr 15 | Pale in her Siamese twin-set | Bathroom Psychodrama | |
| 2004 Jun 27 | Palimpsest of things divine | The Braunschmidt Transponder | |
| 2003 Dec 3 | Pallbearers of uneven height | Situtationist Funeral | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Palm trees are not known to thrive amid the snow | Pastiche (Coconuts) | |
| 2004 May 17 | Palpably encoded in the Turing mould | Pork Beam Custard | |
| 2003 Oct 17 | Paradigm of porters' skill | Any Compound of Phosphorus | |
| 2004 May 25 | Pardon my haste - I really must dash | Today's Not Likely | |
| 2003 Jul 25 | Parsifal was bleeding from the gramophone | Every Phrase Yodelled by Wagner | |
| 2004 Sep 6 | Parsimony of the heavens | Yeats Upon A Toadstool | |
| 2001 Sep 22 | Particularly pleasing was the scent of new-cropped straw | Daydream | |
| 1997 Nov 4 | Particularly pleasing was the scent of new-mown hay | A Particularly Contemporary Procedure | |
| 2003 Dec 4 | Pasquale's famously roundish tartan muffled | Sometimes Almost Roundish | |
| 2004 Jul 30 | Passion, closeness and great sex | Imminent Destruction Of Everything In Port | |
| 2005 Jul 6 | Pastry-forks were just the thing - | Lucy In Torment | |
| 1999 Aug 23 | Pay up! Pay up! It's not a game, you know | Full Confession for the Titans | |
| 2004 Jul 8 | Peel an onion? - for a jape? | The Parliamentary Parsley Supplier | |
| 2001 Jan 1 | Pelting down the motorway, with my wheels of fire, | No Cat's Trousers | |
| 2003 Oct 8 | Pencilled eyebrows, shaven legs | Have Pickles, Everyone! | |
| 2002 Aug 2 | Penumbral vision | Cheese Isn't For Funny Ladies | |
| 2004 Mar 12 | People are bloody ignorant apes! | Away Game Voyeurism | |
| 2004 Apr 14 | People from Purley like getting up early | Brief Lives Last Sunday | |
| 2003 Jan 3 | Percival the scouse louse | My Liverpool Lament | |
| 2006 Jun 23 | Perfection in a postage-stamp | Kill The Penny | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | Perfectly embedded in a blue-tooth net | Yet Never Opens | |
| 2000 Dec 5 | Perhaps a Lithuanian | The Strangler Ripped Asunder, Asunder | |
| 2002 Oct 3 | Perhaps I should have told her, perhaps she should have seen | On Pandora's Bonnet | |
| 2002 Nov 6 | Perhaps I'm not so odd | Surlaw Sha'n't Contribute Veterinary Vouchers | |
| 2002 Oct 11 | Perhaps I'm not so odd | Manifested | |
| 2000 Sep 27 | Perhaps it was just that the Fates took a hand | Earthly Salutes | |
| 1998 Feb 26 | Perhaps it was something I said, | Gossamer Binary Cheesburger | |
| 2005 Jan 9 | Perhaps, your new line will go here. | Up In Canada Antlered Creatures Are Everywhere | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | Perpetuating structures: these | Yurt Optometrist | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | Persephone once said to me | The Frequency for Repaginated Ladies | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Persephone will not emerge; I've heard it from the highest source | Hades Doesn't Matter | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Persnickety wickets, aha! | Of Rubrics | |
| 1999 Apr 20 | Petulant pilgrims don't like to eat rope | Canterbury Nemesis | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Photons green and neutrons pink | Quantum World | |
| 2003 Sep 1 | Picasso, in his early years, | Pablo The Optometrist's Friend | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Piercing sunset with her hand | Times Square Dance | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | PIGGY WINGS | Piggy, Piggy, Here Comes Piggy | |
| 2000 Mar 15 | Pigment | Pigment Denial | |
| 2000 Nov 25 | Pigmies and penguins like to dance | They Vanish Soon Enough | |
| 1997 Nov 22 | Pile a hailstone on a hailstone | "Tomorrowismybirthday" cried Katharine's Wedding | |
| 2003 Jan 9 | Pimrod was a snappy lad, | Unknown Railway Station Blues | |
| 2004 Jun 16 | Pip, as a boy, the marshes trod | Stewed Sea-weed, Nothing More | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | Pizzas spin lazily in the inky depths of space | Woodfired | |
| 2003 Jul 1 | Plague and Pestilence sat down by the fire | Armageddon Horses D'Oeuvres Changes Course | |
| 2007 Jan 11 | Plates of goulash, on the deck, | Neck Up Fatty | |
| 2005 Apr 26 | Plato's grin did shame the sun | Our Socratic Brethren Will One Morning Save The Welsh Unaided | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | Play it again, Kansas Sam | Lurking in The | |
| 2000 Jun 12 | Please help me grease my hamster said the Queen | Lemmings Explode When Roped To Dynamite | |
| 2004 Dec 1 | Please release me | Lurching Balloons | |
| 2004 Dec 21 | Please release me. Let me go | This Is My Third Thumb | |
| 2002 Dec 12 | Please sir, stand downwind from me. | On My Guff | |
| 2003 Nov 22 | Please, my dear, take off your coat | Solicitude Is For Featherweight Fools | |
| 2004 Jul 9 | Pleiades in yonder sky | Sailor Marinated In November | |
| 2005 Aug 31 | Pleonasms get me down | To Study All Known Colonies | |
| 2004 Jul 9 | Pleonastic bunkers that the empire built | Staff Barbecue For Hygienic Elves | |
| 1999 Feb 15 | Plug me in a catheter if there are any left | Forever Strontium | |
| 1999 Jun 5 | Poem composition is a task the world adores | Celibate Coinage in Whitechapel Lane | |
| 2001 Dec 30 | Poet slain with paper knife | Stapling Matilda (Augustinian Ballade) | |
| 2004 Jan 24 | Poetic mis'ry in a name? | Benedictine Evening Dresses | |
| 2001 Mar 11 | Poetry and Poesy declined to fight a duel, | Fleeing, The Sticky Eremite Scratches | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | Poetry I never knew found love on your demise | Happiness, The Noose Of Love | |
| 2003 Nov 15 | Poetry: in voice, a first! | Dictionary, You Mean | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Poets fight with words and not with swords | Poets - We're Belligerent To A Fault | |
| 2004 Jul 29 | Pogonophores and Dubliners | Dating Twilight Gals | |
| 2004 Apr 1 | Poor Jones got hanged - and yet I know 'twas | Attention: Recurring Decimal | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Poor Peter was three inches high | Many Small Wonders for Royalty | |
| 2007 Mar 16 | Pork, to sample - on a spoon | Daily Porkish | |
| 2002 Jan 23 | Portable women | Fustian Comfits | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | Precipitous whiskers | Lightning Ignites My Secret Beard | |
| 2004 Sep 9 | Predictably enough | When The Final Scone Hovers Above Our Fish-pond | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Predictions for the Coming Year | Cummerbunds Will Fall (2004) | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Preposterous! She cried | The Lycanthropes Are Eternally Grateful For Your Cooperation In These Matters Of | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | Preserve us from another bout | Words That Fail MOTs | |
| 1997 Sep 27 | Pretty, pretty hermit | Ornamental William Golding Glimmmers in Void | |
| 2003 Sep 17 | Privet skirts the aerodrome | Where Eagles Dribble | |
| 2005 Mar 17 | Prodigiously attractive | Poor Semblance Of Artistic Metaphors | |
| 2005 Mar 18 | Prodigiously attractive | Eye-Flavored Scrutiny | |
| 2007 Feb 12 | Proem, poem, words of praise - | Squid Divinity | |
| 2003 Dec 1 | Puerile and dull is the Limerick form | Poetry Means Never Having To Wink | |
| 2005 Dec 7 | Puissant were her thighs that night | Troubles Because Of Bosoms | |
| 2002 Sep 14 | Punished for his extra ears | Loaf Mumbles Loaf | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | Put it off until tomorrow | The Most Rewarding Kind Of Exercise | |
| 2006 Feb 24 | Put me through the paper shredder | Our Road Is Hardly Justified | |
| 2004 May 18 | Put me through the paper shredder | The Very Ouch | |
| 2000 Dec 16 | Put yourself in your neighbour's shoes | Tempestuous Trousers of Thrace | |
| 2002 Nov 25 | Quality control for underwear, | On Undies | |
| 2000 Mar 15 | Quandary, a quandary, | Stolen: Orville, My Disgusting Donkey | |
| 1999 Jan 22 | Quarters | These Fiscal Cousins | |
| 2003 Oct 26 | Quasi blog | Nope to Blog | |
| 2004 Jan 9 | Quentin Tarantino | Otherworldly Stuff By Bob | |
| 2003 Nov 19 | Quietly humming his favourite tune, | Swimming Upstream For Several Rhymes | |
| 2003 May 12 | Rabid was the postman | Our Sword Unsheathed by Metaphors | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | Raggedy-Ann has a heroin habit | Playland Smack | |
| 2007 Mar 21 | Rainbow bright across the loch | My Desire Seldom Lights My Desire | |
| 2003 Dec 1 | Ralibut of Halibut pretended to be mad, | Electra Syndrome | |
| 2004 Sep 18 | Rare confection - of delight! | The Morsel Of Reason | |
| 2004 Jan 9 | Rather than conferring shame | Attempted Assassination During Evensong | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | Ray Harryhausen, in the days before attaining fame, | Courage, John! | |
| 2002 Apr 4 | Reading avidly, yet slowly, I devoured the novel. | Fugitive and Funcle | |
| 2000 Nov 27 | Rebuke, like gossip from the sun | Fantastic Tabletop Of Suction | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Red Necks, White Socks, and Blue Ribbon Beer | Hayseed, Huh? | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | Red rocks; blue skies; a snooze and air refreshed | Glyphs And Cryptographic Chance | |
| 2003 Jul 31 | Red was the color of my true love's knuckles. | A Prior Rainbow | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Red, green, purple, brown | Colours | |
| 2003 Sep 16 | Refuge I must seek | 5-7-5 Harmony | |
| 2002 Feb 6 | Regicide is just killing the King, | Unspeakable Extracts of Louise | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | Religions I am Considering Joining | The Holiest Glue | |
| 2000 Apr 24 | Rembrandt, on his better days, | Picture This, My Chatelaine | |
| 2001 May 9 | Remember me when I am dead, | Tadpoles of Doom | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Remember, if you feel the urge to speak | Await the Perilous | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | Remember, sir, when spooning with your bill | Poem Against The Removal Of Divided Teeth | |
| 2001 Dec 14 | Remembering his empty purse | Other Presentiments of Scoutmasters from Bothnia | |
| 2001 Mar 25 | Remembrance is a form of rhubarb | Conquer the Bandits of Love! | |
| 1999 Jan 13 | Remind me to unwind the clock | Unending Mitigation | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Remove your babuskha, mister | Untitled | |
| 2004 Mar 1 | Repetition twenty-fold is what I really crave | My Aunt's Astonished Parakeet | |
| 2002 Aug 24 | Replace mine injured planet | Another Hairless Igloo Objects | |
| 2006 Mar 30 | Reptilinear | Bread-van Impasse | |
| 2003 Jun 19 | Respectable he's surely not | The Ocelot Tirade | |
| 2000 Jan 22 | Respiration - who's to blame? | Turbulence in the Belfry | |
| 2002 Jun 25 | Responsibility for life on earth | Life Doesn't Fester | |
| 1999 Apr 9 | Resurrection! | Easter Greetings | |
| 2004 Jun 16 | Reticence, the virtue of the fool | Nothing More Tangible For Hillmen | |
| 2005 Nov 29 | Retribution, hard as stolen milk, | Lament: Austere Nightly Beatings | |
| 2005 Sep 7 | Returning to my spawning-grounds | Our Leather-Bound Archipelago Swept Clean | |
| 2003 Oct 15 | Reverend Spooner, twice a day, | Lobbyists In Spoonland | |
| 2001 Feb 22 | Revival of my former fame | Wood Knot Rictus | |
| 2003 Dec 1 | Rhyming isn't everything, and scansion's overrated | English Literature Code | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | Ricardo's toupee hasn't aged but a day | Iambic Portrait of Montalban | |
| 1998 Feb 19 | Ride onwards, lads, a new-born day | One Last Lobster Seeking Re-election | |
| 2004 Aug 8 | Ridicule for penguins only makes them slide | Eyeliner How Ever Loosely Bent | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Right among the maddened crows | Effigy | |
| 2006 Feb 16 | Rimbaud, Verlaine and absinthe | Absent White | |
| 2005 Jan 27 | Ripe bananas, ten a pound! Grapes to fit a feast! | Futile | |
| 2000 Dec 4 | Rivals, fourteen inches high, | Limpopo Cocktail | |
| 1999 Feb 20 | Rosemary...comfrey... cammomile tea, | Naked Globe | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Roses are dead | Dour Poetry for Fools in Love | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Rosie was a robot made of steel | The First Cyborg Whore | |
| 2003 Dec 1 | Rowan is a wood that I can't eat | Hungry For Keys | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Rubbing out the guide-book | Allegory Of Scandinavian Nuptuals | |
| 2005 Apr 26 | Rushing from the Laundromat® | Our Welsh Brethren Confess | |
| 2005 Sep 8 | Russell Hoban, king of rhyme, | Whistles | |
| 2005 Feb 18 | Russell Hoban, King of Thrace, | Novelistic Leaflets | |
| 2004 Jan 1 | Said aged King Lear | Prejudices Coming To Your Local Works Canteen | |
| 2004 Jul 13 | Said Benk, the lusty bear, | Zeppelin Without Page | |
| 2005 Apr 12 | Said I to Gus Grissom | Send Major Wordsworth | |
| 2004 Jan 28 | Said the shaman to the showman | Thesis For A Standard Text | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Said the zebra to the lion, "Why in heaven are you cryin'?" | Steel Safari of Red Rivers | |
| 2003 Jan 29 | Sailing down the seventh stream | Autocratic Penitent | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Sam lived in a jerrybuilt sheet-metal tipi. | Tipi, Living | |
| 2004 Jun 3 | Saratoga springs eternal | Quenching Their Papyrus Of Filth | |
| 2004 May 24 | Sausage, when the time is right | Meaty Beaty Big And Bonsai | |
| 2003 Nov 16 | Sausalito | Sorry, Sausalito | |
| 2002 Feb 5 | Savage is as savage does | Defy the Hoariest Blanket | |
| 2004 Feb 10 | Say hello to Chutney Spears | Even Duplication Factors | |
| 2004 Apr 26 | Scarcely welcome though she was | Bayonets Programmed To Twirl | |
| 1998 Jan 21 | Scared of every footfall | Maybe Mercury Speaks | |
| 2003 Aug 1 | Scarlett and Rhett decided to pet | A Style of Dancing I Remember | |
| 1998 Nov 23 | Scorn these still-born architects | Coat-Hanger Equity | |
| 2004 Aug 19 | Scuttling from clime to clime | Save Our Dickensian Surrogates | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | See how all the daffodils | Halcyon | |
| 2003 Oct 28 | See how you like it, Mr. Black! | Go, Authors of My Lunch! | |
| 2003 Dec 21 | See the tiny aerodrome | Ill-fated Flyover On Insect Wings | |
| 2003 Oct 13 | See, saw; go, gone; | Gaugin, You Villain | |
| 2004 Sep 21 | Selected for his miseries | Reunions That Plato Forgot | |
| 1998 Jan 13 | Seven cubed plus fourteen squared | Other Shark-Infested Pillows | |
| 2004 Oct 12 | Several times you've baked a cake | Namedroppers' Tango | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Sex at one, Kate! Take no taxes | Palindromes, Madam? | |
| 2000 Jul 18 | Shall I compare thee to a coach and four? | Her Promiscuity Made Good | |
| 2003 Oct 30 | Shall I compare thee to an Autumn's day? | Pointy Sticks With Hats | |
| 2003 Nov 15 | Shall I invite you to a game of darts? | Pickpockets, Rejoice! | |
| 2004 Jan 22 | Shall I start a new poem or will it get trashed? | Arthur Sucking Cough Drops | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | Shaman footfall | Revelations Undergone | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | Sharp as a razor my misericordia | Enough Of Death | |
| 1998 May 2 | She came at dawn and slit my throat | The "Don't Bother Me" Paradox | |
| 2004 Aug 27 | She checked its lock a dozen times | Compulsive Fondling By Men Of Gentility | |
| 2000 Mar 15 | She cries, that's all she ever does | Because Foam Canisters Iridesce | |
| 2002 Sep 29 | She declared herself democratic, | Escstatic, Dogmatic | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | She doesn't like my underwear | Underwear | |
| *** | 1997 Feb 19 | She found the smoothest stone, | Invisible Sandwiches - The Tiresome Beginnings |
| 2003 Jun 23 | She frolicks gaily, like a goat | Secret Habitude with Men | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | She is a lady in her heart | She Never Surrenders Without A... | |
| 2004 Sep 13 | She is in love with the beautiful formlessness of the sea (Sylvia Plath) | It Cannot Be The Teapots | |
| 2002 Nov 28 | She placed the diamond on her toe, | Urging My Example Slowly | |
| 2005 Feb 2 | She plugged it in, she switched it on | After Reality, Interregnum | |
| 2003 Aug 9 | She prayed that she might never see the day | Kangaroo Den | |
| 2000 Dec 18 | She wandered through the garden fence | The Ballad of the Blocked Toilets | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | She was lovely as the night | Lay for a Lonely Farmer | |
| 2000 May 24 | She was poor but she was honest | She Wasn't Waving But His Trousers Were | |
| 2004 Nov 16 | She whitewashed me into the corner | Your Stupid Obsession With Unworldly People-Carriers | |
| 2001 Aug 9 | She's all to me, and little more | Matrimony is Hegemony, not Patrimony | |
| 2004 Jan 17 | She's come undone--her valium useless as mythical gods | Madwoman, Me? | |
| 2004 May 1 | She's known as Nell, down in Camberwell | More Coal Please. Vicar | |
| 2001 Jan 15 | Sheila was my first love, and she was just a hake | Making Nuns | |
| 2005 Jan 16 | Sherbert, not Opopanax | Boredom City | |
| 2004 Feb 1 | Shocked by his failure to fly, | Flight Recorder In Mink | |
| 2004 Aug 18 | Shoot off her skin | Through Hooded Dreams | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | Shorter than the shortest book | Little Extremes Of Bedtime Cocoa | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Should I invite you to my soiree? | Invitation to Rather Unlikely Personnel | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | Should one great leader cross the sea | Let's Ride Away And Begin Again Without Shame | |
| 2001 Apr 29 | Show me a mirror and I'll | Lost Meanings of Turkestan | |
| 1998 Feb 24 | Show me not your golden purse, | Ancestral vestiges of tambourine | |
| 2004 Jan 8 | Shut tight as a clam, not to be pried by any mere woman | Devoured By Trousers | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Side by side sat F & N, with monitors opposed, | Gadfly Pudding | |
| 2004 Jun 24 | Silent in the dinner-queue | Cutlery At Noon | |
| 1999 Mar 6 | Silent in the midnight silence | Opacity's 22 Miraculous Beings | |
| 2004 Mar 23 | Silently clutching his kite, | Vladimir's Looted Me Carrot | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Silly Sally from the valley liked to dilly dally | Boots of Silly Leather | |
| 2003 Jun 26 | Silver and brown were the eaves of the town | A Reasonable Religion for Village Greens | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Simon says, "Slow down, you're movin' too fast" | Singing the Family Song | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | Simple sisters in the sunlight | The Night Match (Unseen Sisters) | |
| 2003 Aug 2 | Sir: | Epistle upon the Ancient Streams | |
| 2003 Dec 11 | Sitting in an English garden, waiting for the sun | Twilight Of A Flaming Pie | |
| 2000 Nov 7 | Skiing down a snow-filled tunnel | Our Mutinous Ukulele | |
| 2002 May 14 | Sledgehammer? I thought to use a shovel | Gabriel's Hiccoughs | |
| 2000 Oct 19 | Sleep darkly in your mellow haze my love, | My Song of Glass | |
| 2003 Sep 12 | Sleep eludes me now | The Premise for My Jellybean Guidelines | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Sleep is coming soon | Ears for Eyelids | |
| 1999 Oct 25 | Sleep, curly savage, on the forest floor. | Map of the Primitive Song | |
| 1997 Feb 12 | Sleepless wretched pacing, red-rivered eyes - glazed, gazing | Almost After Forgotten | |
| 1999 May 23 | Slowly, slowly crept the maddened fox | While I'm Devoid of Syntax | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | Slug bug! | Insults for Schoolmarms | |
| 2003 Sep 1 | Slumberers! Rome is burning all about you | Questionable Pantheons | |
| 1997 Mar 22 | Small birds | Orderly Insects Are Forecast | |
| 2004 Jan 22 | Smell my squirty button-hole | Phoebe Married The Warmonger | |
| 2003 Oct 26 | Smells like you're frying bologna | The Cronyism of Songbirds | |
| 2003 Jun 16 | Smooth eucalyptus, resinous aura | Bespoke Chutney for Biggles | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Smudge me, I am yours | Vogons In Love | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Snow falls, cold winds blow | The Quirky Quiver (Haiku) | |
| 2005 Mar 31 | So ... how to subvert the Age of Consent? | Four Times Four Is Tonic | |
| 2004 Apr 20 | So clumsy, so clumsy | Upstream Into Camberwell | |
| 2004 Jul 6 | So easy to upset her | The Fragile Steel | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | So here begins a brand new tale | Contrary Mutant | |
| 2005 Feb 8 | So how ya doin', Mrs. Knapp? | Drive-By Morality | |
| 2003 Aug 27 | So many Herberts with which to contend | Cupcakes For Jesus | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | So many little fluffy things | Like Butterflies Don't | |
| 2003 May 16 | So many works, untitled and unsung | Those Who Can't Defy | |
| 2005 Oct 30 | So much nicer now | Yes, Seamstresses, Invisible Stockings For Marriage Vows | |
| 2004 May 7 | So plaintively you ask if this | Liquid Never Flinches | |
| 2004 May 25 | So sullen was he, in his melancholy wistfulness, | Adjectives On Steroids | |
| 2005 Feb 15 | So tell us, how many times have you | Among Beanbags | |
| 2006 Jul 7 | So very far from welcome | 51 Flavours of Diffusion | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | So when are ya gonna make up yer mind? | Washing Fish In My Underwear | |
| 2004 Jan 27 | So... slate wiped clean, whereto from here? | Mops Our Fevered Explorer Cannot Display | |
| 1998 Sep 30 | Socks! My red socks, | Shirley's Dancing Socks (or Ellen's) | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | Some alphabetty spaghetti | Lechery's Not a Primary Foodstuff | |
| 2002 Dec 11 | Some caged bird squawks | Shirley, My Wife for a Day | |
| 2003 Oct 13 | Some folks like a formula | Loincloths of Hickory | |
| 2003 Oct 22 | Something there is that doesn't love a fish | Screaming for Revenge in the Afterlife | |
| 1999 Dec 23 | Something whispers in my ear | Hail Noddy! | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | Sometimes I feel I'm going insane | Upside-Down Cat Blues | |
| 2003 Dec 12 | Sometimes I like to run around in just my underoos | When I Splash | |
| 2001 Jan 24 | Somewhere in the evening, at a screen not far from you | Future Dereliction Of Duty | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | Sonia is my name, flirting is my game | Sonia Wasn't Lost | |
| 2004 Oct 25 | Sophistry, for those who wait, | Departures In Disarray | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Southern Astrological Signs | Redneck Designs | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | Space Invaders often haunt my dreams | Arcade Dreams Of My Gamey Youth | |
| 2005 Jan 27 | Spanish onions, in the dark, | Horses Most Definitely | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | Speaking of teeth and mice | When Mice Lust | |
| 2004 Jul 27 | Speciously, you are so fine! | Swedish Substitute For Previously Contaminated Dessert | |
| 1999 Dec 24 | Spent moons bestrew th'empyrean | Subtle, Said the Maggots | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Spinning, falling, | Forever Spinning | |
| 1999 Nov 26 | Spoons are the one thing God forgot | Bottle Up | |
| 2000 Sep 3 | Spry raindrops against a beercan tinkle | Gratia nobis fructus agimus benedicte nisi veniam purpuriens | |
| 1996 Dec 8 | St Vitus, in his winter robe | Yellow Paris Hags | |
| 2006 Jun 21 | St. Swithin's Day? Is that in May? | Steam Calendar | |
| 2001 Sep 30 | Staggering across the heath | Hugh's Underpants Defy Dogma | |
| 2005 Mar 29 | Stagnation, degradation | Nothing More Redundant Than Thought | |
| 2005 Feb 3 | Stale cheese croutons in my jar | Systemic Gouda | |
| 2005 Oct 25 | Stalk the streets of Serenissima | Half Baked Wholly | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | Staring blankly through the glass | Dressed To Curl | |
| 2005 Jan 16 | State of action: quite inert | Deatiny Shaped By Simpletons | |
| 2002 Jun 27 | Statistically speaking, the cow | At the Leg-warming Market | |
| 2003 Jun 5 | Steeped in the grime of ages | Creases Rectified by Art | |
| 2005 Jul 22 | Step this way, you man o' war, | For The Draining-board That Survivors Clutch | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | Stepping through a wall of mirrors | Bowling Nearby Stones | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | Sticks and stones may break my bones | Dead Sticks | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Stinkbombs here and stinkbombs there | Stinky | |
| 2005 Mar 26 | Strange transmissions - from the sun - | As Luck Would Habit | |
| 2004 Oct 17 | Strange transmissions, Norah says, | Compensation By Degrees | |
| 2007 Mar 6 | String in pieces, string combined, | Discovered in Ramsey | |
| 2005 Sep 4 | Strong dominion, over whelks, | Ridicule Enough For Cherubim | |
| 2005 Jul 29 | Strontium nitrate | Our Technocrats Under Duress | |
| 2007 Feb 17 | Stunned, stunned | Gates Shut By Accident | |
| 1998 Jun 23 | Stupidity, my carapace | Scouting for Mice | |
| 2002 Oct 28 | Such a cruel summer! On cool heaths | Only if the Circle Turns | |
| 2002 Nov 1 | Such a vile winter! Warm in nooks | A Virgin's Twelve Testicles | |
| 2002 Apr 28 | Such anger; incoherent rage | Whenever Sacrifice Demands | |
| 2001 Dec 10 | Such is cockaleekie, | Stolen Kissograms in Ketchup | |
| 2004 Apr 20 | Such is the demon's lot | Spoon Receipt | |
| 2005 Jul 20 | Sufferers of synarthrodiae | Remedial By Association | |
| 2004 Mar 30 | Suffolk Asian – who would choose | Hen Pectoral Commemorated | |
| 2006 Jan 3 | Sunk by the Spanish Amanda | Over By The Time She Smells The Brie | |
| 1998 Mar 13 | Surely Godot should be here by now, | Arnold, Waiting | |
| 2007 Feb 28 | Surely she was never real | When Leaves Turn | |
| 2004 Apr 11 | Surrendering to something | Soprano And Under | |
| 2006 Mar 8 | Sveldt in someone's turban | Shogun Marmalade | |
| 2000 May 16 | Sweet nymph, though thou art ever im my dreams | Unless They Get Mistresses | |
| 1999 Jan 5 | Swing down sweet cherubs and lie with me | Clouds In Angelic Underclothing | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | T'was but a night on the dell | Sobering Laptop | |
| 2006 Apr 18 | Take a pinch of mustard-seed | Implications | |
| 2004 Jan 20 | Take five, my little feathered friends | Alexander's Shadow Ring-pull | |
| 2005 Aug 23 | Take parnsip from the heap | Wittgenstein Therapy | |
| 2004 Dec 17 | Taking umbrage, in the Nile, | Facile Farewell | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | Tales of magic and mystery | Holographic Implant | |
| 2007 Apr 13 | Tangents beckon from afar - with mystic hints of tangerine: | Pythagoras or Pinter | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | Taupe plateaus, a turquoise skyThe bleached bones of oxen | He Knew Lake Geneva | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | Taxes, levies, tithes, and tariffs | Taxes, Always | |
| 2000 Oct 11 | Teach history slowly | Equator Protest | |
| 2001 Oct 16 | Teal creeps | Disused Mouse | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | Teapots singing in the rain | The Embroidered Gorgonzola | |
| 2000 May 8 | Teasing and tempting is naughty Nanette | My Articulate Cucumber Says | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Teflon starships ply the inky depths | Quixotic Robot Quests | |
| 2003 Aug 31 | Telescoping microscopes and shoehorning hornpipes | Wellington Shining Through | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Televised indignities, alas | PC #22 | |
| 2004 Mar 10 | Tell me Doc - I've got to know | Alternative Will | |
| 2003 Nov 26 | Tell me the secret | What Concerned Us As Free Thinkers | |
| 2004 Mar 31 | Tell me, O Wanderer, whom do you seek? | Tales Of Someone Taller Than Expected | |
| 2004 Jul 7 | Ten more miles and we'll be home | Sediment Flying In From The Airfield | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Ten pennies, three shillings and a paper clip | Untitled | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | Ten thousand men have lost their lives | History Repeats Itself Itself Frequently Despite Appearances To The Contrary | |
| 2004 Jan 20 | Ten to a bed, the children slept | Bleak Housing | |
| 2003 Oct 16 | Terence wrote, when not in Thrace, a clutch of tearful plays | Our Bombastic Parlour Pig | |
| 1999 Apr 23 | Tesseracts were falling as if falling were the rage | Wizened Thoughts for Yesterdays' Leak | |
| 2002 Jul 23 | That artichoke they gave me | Mouldy, They Said | |
| 2004 Jan 28 | That fellow, Othello, could not be called mellow | My Toe Is Now Swollen Again | |
| 1997 Mar 24 | That karaoke chaos | Obelisk: Confusion | |
| 2006 Jun 15 | That loathsome letter taints the page | Fasting Myths | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | That moon is not an aspirin | Lunar Sunsets | |
| 1999 Sep 13 | The 'Big Adventure' all began on a day of trepidation | Explorers from Futility | |
| 1999 May 7 | The 'Spoonbill Chill' hung over the land | The Unseen Chill | |
| 2002 Dec 10 | The alphabet should be curtailed: | Ho, Whoreson Pimp! | |
| 2003 Jul 25 | The ancient hunter stood proudly | Hunt Within | |
| 2003 Jun 21 | The archive of memory refused to stir | Tinkle Tempest Soldier | |
| 2002 May 13 | The art of interactive verse | Reflections Behind Closed Minds | |
| 2002 Feb 7 | The artichoke eyed the chili pepper with murderous contempt | 69 Servants | |
| *** | 1999 Dec 1 | The autumn leaves | Stacy's Fading Cardigan |
| 2006 Mar 7 | The azimuth is past | Yorick And Friends | |
| *** | 1999 Mar 20 | The Ballad of Archibald Sideways | The Ballad of Archibald Sideways |
| 2003 Aug 25 | The beating of a distant drum | Sounds Like the Vampire Abroad | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | The bells of contrariness | Bells, Time Of | |
| 1998 Feb 4 | The best man is a tidy one, | An Idyllic Situation Ruined By Reed-Buntings | |
| 2004 Feb 13 | The bilemonger's bill | Martyrs To The Biscuit Guardians | |
| 1998 May 4 | The bilious fishwife was covered in stew, | Majestically Behavioral | |
| 2004 Feb 10 | The birth canal has many locks | Those Poor Breakdancing Triplets | |
| 2004 Nov 29 | The bishop, in his water-wig | Predicated Upon Juvenile Ignorance | |
| 2002 May 20 | The bittern is a curious bird, according to the sage | Wood-daemon, Guide Me South! | |
| *** | 2006 Mar 9 | The blackest of shields by the light of the moon | NB: In Memoriam |
| 2002 Jan 17 | The blancmange spoke, in rhyming couplets, | Dewdrop Whack, Martini Later... | |
| 2004 Jul 2 | The blank screen gazes remorselessly back | The Denouement Of Vermicelli | |
| 1998 Jul 4 | The Books of Heaven opened, the pages to their destinations flying! | Cheeseboard Dusk | |
| 2003 Jul 27 | The bubble bath! The bubble bath! I float in pink champagne. | Wiggles in Spain | |
| 2001 Nov 13 | The cabbage roared to see the mouse | Lithuania Accepts Barclaycard Again! | |
| 2000 May 22 | The cake of opportunity must be eaten whilst it's fresh | The Puissance In American Adverbs | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | The calculator is calculating its own lifespan | Calculating Between | |
| 2002 May 8 | The Captain rode to Hampton Court | Criminals in Poltics | |
| 2002 Mar 5 | The caramel wafer was tempting and thin: | The Dockland Proxy | |
| 2000 May 23 | The cards were dealt, and in my hand | Homily For Courtesans in Norwich cathedral | |
| 2001 Sep 5 | The carrot spoke too sweetly | Quiet Teatime Moments | |
| 2003 Dec 3 | The champagne glass lies shattered | Increasingly Preposterous Homilies | |
| 2000 May 3 | The chief delight of Roland Rat | Universal Generalisations Are Tiresome | |
| 2006 Jun 12 | The clouds are filled with bicycles | No Peppermint Drops | |
| 2003 Feb 20 | The cobbler, blind for seven years | Immediately Nobody | |
| 2002 Mar 10 | The conical nose had been smeared with strawberry jam: | Lift-off! (Red Umbrellas) | |
| 2004 Mar 29 | The cookbook used by Dr Who | Extraterrestrial, Improperly Aligned | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | The Creature wouldn't seem so bad if only he spoke clearly | The Hopscotches are Growling | |
| 2003 Jun 30 | The creek oozes down through the dimwitted wood | Erie Canal | |
| 2001 Dec 18 | The Crossbill, famed in Nordic lore | Lesbians of Yesteryear | |
| 2001 Dec 18 | The Crossbow, famed in Chinese tales | Cap in Handsworth | |
| 2004 Jan 30 | The crutch on which you make your way | Balletic Tropism | |
| 1997 Jul 27 | The curlew trolls to Nell of darkling hay | What is Golden? | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | The customer is always right! | Fight the Defiant Epithets for Sleeping Chickens | |
| 2002 Aug 21 | The dark cathedral shivers | The Obverse Equivalent | |
| 1999 Mar 7 | The death's-head watched and waited, | Nubility One | |
| 2003 Dec 9 | The denizens of Alabama | Bashful Statements Of Statehood | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | The desert sands are sleeping tonight | The Revolution | |
| 2001 Dec 17 | The Devil's in the detail | Horse-Box Politics | |
| *** | 1997 Jan 19 | The dictionary was far from green | Eldred's glum, glum spleen |
| 2004 Feb 18 | The djinn that made me sneeze | Doom Dealt Deftly | |
| 1997 Sep 18 | The doctrine of a shining spoon | The Pan Holds Mixed Croutons | |
| 2003 Sep 8 | The dream went to sleep, | Insupportable Toothbrushes | |
| 2001 Dec 23 | The drips from his ten-gallon hat | Noontide Passion | |
| 2005 Feb 22 | The Dutch maintain that any eye | Sigh No More, Ladies | |
| 2004 Sep 2 | The early bird, that gets the lion's share | Dice In The Ovens Of Rheims | |
| 2003 Dec 8 | The early morning moon is pale as a chalk daub | Wings Of Men Who Wait | |
| 2004 Oct 14 | the egret watched the passing ship | The Jurisprudence Of Aquatic Creatures | |
| 2003 Nov 22 | The elephants of Iceland were meeting for the talks | Fish Jam Voting | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | The empty swing still made arcs | Sadly Going Between Seasons | |
| 2005 Jul 30 | The empty vest had seen some times | Tantric Diagrams | |
| 2005 Aug 8 | The end is the beginning, subtly changed | The Stranger Butler | |
| 1997 Mar 10 | The end of the day is not the start of the night | Proposition (The Metaphysical Routine) | |
| 2002 Oct 4 | The entire world is as a foreign place | The Victorian Philistines | |
| 2003 Sep 10 | The Eskimo, my paramour | Curse Me, Fungus! | |
| 2006 Jun 25 | The faded lilies by the wall | Beyond The Twelfth Night Service Desk | |
| 1997 Mar 13 | The filing cabinet, the filing cabinet | A Token for Parting | |
| 2003 Oct 25 | The film was droll, though there were dull stretches | Theatre of Heads | |
| 2003 Sep 17 | The first thing I learned in my life as a cat | If Only God Lived 9 Lives | |
| 2003 Jan 27 | The first time I went to Iraq | Person or Thing Unknown | |
| 2006 Feb 11 | The flames were gone, but, yet, a tiny ember | Flames Coated With Heavy Penalties | |
| 2002 Mar 13 | The flat sky | Eliot's Daily Variations | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | The fridge is lurking in a corner - tempting me to sin | So Let's Not Eat | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | The frog comes in on little fat feet | Frogs and Stale | |
| 2002 Aug 2 | The funny thing is, remarked Fred | Limerick Folly | |
| 2002 Aug 8 | The funny thing is, remarked Smith | Transplant for Triplets (Under Local Anaesthetic) | |
| 2000 Jun 29 | The gambler folds his hand and sets his gaze | Eggs And Artillery | |
| 2004 Jan 22 | The gas oven sings a sweet song to my leadened seratonin | Forever The Syntax Omelette | |
| 2001 Dec 19 | The gate is torn asunder there | Brute Pesto Lollipop (Intolerance) | |
| 2006 Aug 23 | The Gates of Ivory and Horn | Night From Midnight | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | The geese were flying high, the ducks | To Birds | |
| 2004 Mar 3 | The generals are born again | Middle Victorian | |
| 2002 Jul 26 | The glaciers of Egypt | Scarcely | |
| 2003 Jun 23 | The glamour of a teaspoon | If You Could Falter | |
| 2006 May 12 | The glittering lights of Montmatre in her eyes | Kiki On Speed | |
| 2002 Nov 6 | The goat came down from the hill-tops | A Contest for Castle Custard | |
| 2004 Jan 26 | The grandpaternity suit | Well-wisher's Bride | |
| 2000 May 2 | The great thing about the verse compositions of Ogden Nash | Our Nose, Once Bitten | |
| 2000 Aug 4 | The green in a bluebottle's eye | Icy Privy | |
| 1998 Jun 30 | The Green Joy made the Queen wet with dew | My funicular cutlets, redeemed | |
| 2001 Jan 10 | The gremlins in my kitchen make | Nasty, Nasty | |
| 2000 Oct 3 | The grumpy armadillo sat in front of his computer | Whose Shift Avoids Whose Pellicule? | |
| 2004 Jul 29 | The Gryphon, on his rival page | Bless This Horse With Greatness | |
| 2003 Jun 27 | The gypsy's skirts swirled like the leaves in the fall | Oddments of the Blonde | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | The haiku beckons | Regardless of Their Appearance | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | The haiku returns | Door To Indisposable Sleep | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | The Hamptons are green this time of year. | The Perpetual Unloved Turtles | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | The haughty hippotamus spake unto the King: | Things Of The Wild Unknown | |
| 2006 Jul 17 | The hideous spectre of her purse | Drum Dazed | |
| 2005 Mar 23 | The horror-shows of ancient Gaul | Incoherence Everywhere Discovered Anew | |
| 2001 Jan 23 | The hour of innocence, of hopes and dreams | A Vain Attempt in English to Accommodate Divers | |
| 2003 Aug 2 | The house was haunted, so they said | Free at Halloween | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | The incredulous bunch, the lot of them all | Shameless? Us? | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | The ink was barely dry upon the page | My Blotter | |
| 2003 Aug 30 | The internet crawled to a halt | Don Prufrock, Life of Tedium | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | The Irish invented the limerick | Water Fingers | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | The jester donned his liripipe | Haiku With Problems | |
| 2001 Jan 8 | The kangaroos are at the aquarium? | Brothers in Canberra | |
| 1999 Feb 11 | The Lady's not for burning | Spin Friar | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | The lamps are lit, the table set, the goose is in the oven | Tonight delights us lovingly, but ... | |
| 2004 Feb 25 | The last time I polkaed with Ted | Near Creepy Cow Lane | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | The last time I saw Paris | Paris Blemished | |
| 2005 Sep 21 | The last was gone before its hour | Packed Without Any Discernible Entropy | |
| 2004 Mar 31 | The late sonatas on a lute? | Hammerklavier, Dissonantly | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | The lawn was laid | Cactus Mothering | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | The leaves are turning brown again. I wonder how they know | Hypothermic Ennui for Old Times | |
| 2003 Sep 6 | The lesser spotted Spoonbill | Christmas Eggs (Sorry) | |
| 2000 Jan 21 | The lines of life upon her face | Hurrah! A Pointless Stereo Pencil | |
| 2004 Feb 18 | The lion's the king of the beasts | The Great Roar | |
| 2003 Oct 6 | The lipstick factory: kick down the door | Nailing Lips To My Umbrella | |
| 2006 Feb 10 | The little prophets of an idol-king | Who Prefers Bedsocks? | |
| 2004 Feb 19 | The lonely hearts in Sgt. Pepper's Band | Crybaby Number Nine (1967) | |
| 2004 Apr 15 | The lonely Swedish man | The Danish Word | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | The long body-swept grass | Denied Dreams | |
| 2003 Aug 27 | The long haul to Christmas has started today | Pole Bank Frippery | |
| 2004 Aug 11 | The lumps one sometimes finds in cream | Syllabub Proverbs | |
| 1999 Nov 18 | The main thing to remember about hunting with a fish | Suds | |
| 1997 Aug 15 | The man who vilifies my tent | Negligee Vector | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | The men and women came, from far across the land | Collaboration Is Not Essential | |
| 2001 Sep 26 | The men in Berlin are terribly thin | A Pleonastic Admirer of Superfluous Nuns | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | The millimetre: squat, unclean | Pam Sandwiches, Pruriently Sliced | |
| 2001 Aug 20 | The Ministry of Frost | Airlock, Warlock | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | The miscreant potato | The Copy-Cat Stutter | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | The money ran out, and I had to leave | To Brother Domino | |
| 2005 Jun 29 | The mood, in Hitler's bunker | Always Downfallen | |
| 2003 Nov 27 | The moon is made of cheese, and so | Heresy Of Cosmic Sanity | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | The moon shone bright on that surly night | The Moon That Howled, "Donald!" | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | The moon was shining on the grass | Time and the Walrus | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | The moon will nevermore | Heart Shines | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | The moon's a baloon, you know | Paper Grasshoppers | |
| 2001 Dec 5 | The mouse crept closer to its goal | On Galvanizing Spartan Surfaces | |
| *** | 2004 May 25 | The moving pencil writes and, having writ, it breaks | Rubbish-tip Top |
| 2003 Oct 24 | The mustard in my lemonade | Aperitifs to Drink When Meeting Your Maker | |
| 1997 Jun 9 | The never-ending cycle of the wars 'twixt good and ill | Carbon Pump City | |
| 2003 Nov 16 | The next time you think that | Worse Than Any Titans | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | The night is a ladyOf no uncertain temperament | Brooding Night | |
| *** | 1998 May 30 | The night this narrative began | Confusion Excuses This Apparently Plotless Fiasco |
| 2003 Jul 18 | The night was dark and stormy | Snow Slithers Up | |
| 1999 Mar 2 | The night was dark, and dire foreboding crackled in the air | It never happened really except once maybe yesterday | |
| 1998 Jun 10 | The night we rode, the path we trod, we knew how it would end | One Daren't Expect More | |
| 1998 Sep 4 | The note bore the crest of nobility, | Romeo's Last Reward (Exodus) | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | The old mountain holds a secret | Hills Speak of Chlorine | |
| 1998 Feb 18 | The opera-house, from half-past one | Unwholesome Lodgings | |
| 2006 Jan 25 | The other day (or was it night?) | At Equal Intervals | |
| 1999 Dec 16 | The other day I found a paper clip | Claudius Jointless, Claudius Pointless | |
| 1997 May 4 | The outskirts of Odessa | When Spoons Collide | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | The page is blank | Brie Tabula | |
| 2003 Jun 17 | The pallid young apprentice | Afterglow/Puzzle | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | The paupers, intimiate with secrets of the court, | Does Anybody Else Think That We Aren't Seeing Much? | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | The phone is mute, a black hook | Phones and Windows | |
| 2000 Mar 9 | The photo showed the final phase | Neptune's Missing Noonday Umbrellas Of Blossom | |
| 2002 Dec 24 | The plenitude of earthly thoughts | Lincoln's Curry Riders | |
| 2004 Aug 31 | The politican declaimed and avowed | Campaigns Begin Like Bladders | |
| 2006 Sep 8 | The pool beneath the breakfast hall | The Blanched Almonds of Hoboken | |
| *** | 2001 Mar 22 | The practice of law is a terminal bore | Father, Forgive Our Carpentry |
| 2006 Dec 17 | The price of dodging RSI | He See Nothing With Relish | |
| 1997 Jan 30 | The price of penance is the soul, | Although My Testament Lies Steaming | |
| *** | 2004 Jul 2 | The problem is easy to see | Domestic Meltdown |
| 2004 May 7 | The problem of a bee city | Carbohydrate Counts Against Each Mouthful | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | The problem with speaking in verse | About A Hedgehog | |
| 2003 Sep 1 | The proof of the rock | Untitled | |
| 2006 Jun 6 | The prunes were laid out, row on row, | Ibstokon, Who Prefers All Comers | |
| 2004 Jan 26 | The pulse that beats within a flea | Each Syllable Concocted By Buddhists | |
| 2003 Aug 27 | The pups are gamboling again | Must Pups Melt Their Carpet? | |
| 2003 Jul 8 | The Raiders of Gor had slavegirls galore and kept them all in chains | Time and Four Fantastic Spoons | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | The rain fell only between the hours of 6 and 7 | Why is Rain? | |
| 2002 Aug 16 | The rain it raineth every day | Stupid Polar | |
| *** | 2001 Aug 12 | The rain poured down; the waters rose, | Noah often said that it was lucky to stick herrings to trees |
| 2003 Jul 26 | The rains had not come that year | Will Oceans Devour the Unforeseen Goats? | |
| 2001 Sep 3 | The rapid history becomes a page unturned | Delirium's Retchings | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | The rarely recognised conversation | Ungentle Urgings | |
| 1999 May 18 | The rate of completion increases | Further from the Beatiful Foot | |
| 2004 Apr 29 | The rats climbed on the rising ship | Sausages Stitched Lengthways | |
| 2004 Jan 21 | The rattle of toys being hurled out of prams | Ut Nicotinum Ad Adorum Nescientum | |
| 2003 Oct 16 | The real derivation of 'prat' | Protruding Posterior | |
| 2003 Apr 22 | The red poem remains unread | Unsaid, Unsaid | |
| 2003 Oct 8 | The restrooms here are fairly clean | My Least Best Failing | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | The river was breaking its bank | The Tidal Sound of Deflated Souls | |
| 2002 Mar 20 | The roots of criminal intent | Goose Desk | |
| 2001 Jul 27 | The Scandinavian roll-mop | Impertinent Desires | |
| 2004 Jan 29 | The scarlet letter, none too soon | Semicolon Failings | |
| 1999 Jan 26 | The seeds of gourds shook,shook,shook! | Seeds | |
| 2003 Jun 20 | The semi thrummed o'er seams in the open road | For an Unknown Frog | |
| 2002 Aug 5 | The sergeant sighed as his steely gaze | The Lament of my Square Informal Tusks | |
| 1997 May 12 | The shadow cabinet-maker | The Implacable Syphon | |
| 2003 Jul 25 | The shelving groaned with weight tomes | Oddments From the Bookstores | |
| 2001 Aug 10 | The shores of sand stood up and waved | Seaside Hallucination (Felixstowe Docks) | |
| 2004 Jul 21 | The short-cuts that Yevgeny likes | Taller Despite Appearances | |
| 2002 Jul 26 | The skies were heavy as an ounce of osmium, | Stolen From Steel Factory Sirens | |
| 2003 Oct 4 | The sky is blue and so are you | Captain Correction | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | The sky was dark, and rain was falling | Nighttime Paddling | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | The slate is clean, the ink is fresh | Again We Raise the Standards of Poetry Crimes Against Humanity | |
| 2003 Oct 9 | The sly London chair gang is at it again | The Dreaded Chair Gang | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | The smell of camphor; dust motes in the sun; | Semi Frenzy | |
| 1999 Jan 18 | The smiles I get when I dance around the bar | Is of Night | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | The smog comes on little rat feet | Smog Onions | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | The soup is rather thick today | The Abandoned Soup Molestors | |
| 2002 May 13 | The south of France is not a place | The Firmament Throughout | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | The squash, I fear, is overcooked | The Ultimate Sob Story | |
| 2003 Nov 27 | The stack's not much fun anymore | Evident Hypocrisy | |
| 2000 Jan 14 | The stately tread of centuries has just assailed our ears | New, Tidier Pixies | |
| 2005 Sep 18 | The stickleback: how, in its prime | These Are My Diverse | |
| 2000 Oct 3 | The stillness of the day, the ceaseless hum | My Zebra Toes | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | The store was stocked with many things | Store Your Smiles | |
| 1997 Feb 28 | The sun and moon kiss in the light of day | More Paraffin for my PerpetualApprentice | |
| 1999 Jan 7 | The sun had scarcely risen when we started down the lane | Trip, 15th August 1812 | |
| 2000 Mar 3 | The sun sinks slowly into the sea, or so it seems. | Corporeal Longings: The Carrot Stick Of Appearances | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | The sun was not shining the day | Who Will Have The Lady Over? | |
| 2003 Sep 8 | The sycamore's riposte | Sequoia's Lawyers | |
| 2004 Aug 11 | The taxidermist's holiday | Rustic Tangent | |
| 2004 Nov 17 | The telecon went on and on | The Approach Of Suicidal Robots | |
| 2003 Jul 29 | The telephone is ringing, dear | Unbidden Answer to Cellular Message | |
| 2002 Feb 11 | The terebinth was singing, but its words were quite obscure - | Marmot Receipts Multiply | |
| 2002 May 8 | The tiger hunting in the dusk | My Lion-hearted Friend Edgar | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | the tiny white wheelbarrow, overturned, | Voices Broken | |
| 2003 Dec 11 | The Tower of Babel, good sir | Biblical Soundbites | |
| 2004 Aug 11 | The tram that passed the Opera | Distant Fashion | |
| 2004 Feb 19 | The trampled multitude are free - | Sometimes Enough Makes Sense | |
| *** | 1996 Dec 26 | The travails of my giroscope | Misadventures Without Misconduct |
| 2003 Sep 22 | The Troubadour was travelling, his merry band in tow | Minstrels Really Know | |
| 2002 Feb 22 | The trouser-press is waiting for | Any child can puke Beethoven's last minuet | |
| 2004 Mar 1 | The trunk in the attic held something amazing | Surprise Me Less | |
| 1997 Oct 31 | The twenty-first of Autumn | Finally, the Revelation that Armpits aren't Necessary | |
| 1998 Mar 8 | The unblessed stranger twisted forth, | Whether Lewinsky Swore (Wittgenstein's Homily) | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | The Underbelly Cult | Cult Irregularities | |
| 1999 Jan 11 | The unicorn, though custom deems it myth, | Tales for the Dogmatical Nursemaid | |
| 2002 Oct 29 | The vandal! I dread | Dali's Baby Next Time | |
| 2003 Dec 29 | The version I favour | Something Beyond Hymenoptera | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | The waves are in turmoil, and strike at the rocks | "You Are Carbon", We Said | |
| 2004 May 10 | The weight of any bantam | Shelley: Drowning Was Enough | |
| 2004 Jun 20 | The weight of expectation is pressing on my brain | Grid Of Life Expectant | |
| 2002 Jan 3 | The Welder was welding as never before | The Blood Line of Blandishment Castle | |
| 2004 Jan 6 | The winter sun broke through the trees, to shine upon the meadow | Clichés Usually Reserved For Sensitive Souls | |
| 2006 Aug 1 | The Witch-Queen wrought an awful curse: | Nothing But Our Static Senses | |
| 2003 Oct 22 | The world, a fuzzball, a ball of yarn | Vice and Chips | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | The worm has made our cities black | Havoc with Spring-Loaded Crutches | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | The wrong kind of sun, the wrong kind of snow | The Burlington Commuter Blues | |
| 2003 Jan 29 | The year was but a few weeks old | Remembrance of Things Pasteurised | |
| 2000 Jan 23 | The Zimmer by the garage door | Intergalactic Journey of a Broken Cruet | |
| 2001 Feb 8 | Their shop lay in a triangle | Geometry Crawls Nightwards | |
| 2001 Dec 12 | Thematic spoonful, years of corn | Forgotten Riposte V | |
| 2003 Nov 8 | There appears to be much merriment tonight | Debauchery, Alcohol, And Nothing Left | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | There are many things you do not know | Knowledge Couth Forsooth | |
| 2004 Jan 23 | There are so many words that rhyme with "whack": | Bootblack Hatrack Knickknack | |
| 2004 Jan 16 | There hast never been a thing more shiny | Drastic Therapy For Two | |
| 2003 Aug 13 | There is a secret hidden in the code... | Untitled | |
| 2005 Jan 20 | There is a tavern in the town | Welsh Ditty | |
| 2002 Oct 4 | There is deep water everywhere | Why not experience leprosy first-hand? | |
| 2003 Aug 1 | There is magic in the air tonight | Evenings Much Like This | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | There is often told a legend of a treasure | Your Prize | |
| 1996 Nov 1 | There is room for two legs in my trousers | Cost-effective Starlight | |
| 2001 Jan 7 | There is, I've heard, an organist, who plays at half past three | Fashionable, The Unseemly Lexicographer | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | There never has been a good time | Till Eulenspiegel For Amateurs | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | There once was a boffin called Tim | Tim the Godfearing Scientist | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | There once was a cold winter knight | The End of a Shrewd Heroine | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | There once was a Cornishman, Lee, | Escape Attempts | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | There once was a Coventry Monkey | Puzzled Monkey | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | There once was a curious cat | Consequences | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | There once was a dog named Mollie | Dog Life Dance | |
| 2003 Aug 8 | There once was a hack called Andrew Gilligan | Spin Skipper, My Ass | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | There once was a man who was purple (world's hardest limerick coming up...) | True Stories but Grossly Truncated | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | There once was a moose from Ontario | Unlikely Gumdrops from Savannah | |
| 2003 Oct 21 | There once was a pervert named Mick | Just A Hog | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | There once was a pirate, Blackbeard | Pirate Rhymes | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | There once was a poet of note | Billboards, Numbers, and the Signs for Heaven | |
| 2003 Sep 23 | There once was an arrogant Pharaoh | The Wickedness of Luxor | |
| 2003 Nov 19 | There once was lady from Knox | Jerry-built Riffs | |
| 2002 Oct 22 | There upon the ceiling, in a pattern rich and rare, | Rescued From My Defects | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | There was a fine seller of pearls | Kamasutra for Happy Knives and Spoons | |
| 2003 Jul 25 | There was a man from Timbuktu | Poetry and Excess | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | There was a spoonbiller so svelte | Shaking Moon Teabag | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | There was a strange lad from Ontario | Nippising | |
| *** | 1998 Jul 20 | There was a young lady fron Dar-es-Salaam | At First Simply Guessing |
| 2003 Sep 7 | There was a young maiden from Nome | Brian is There | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | There was a young maiden named Sue | Into The Black Of The Tentacle | |
| 2000 Jun 9 | There was a young man from Kilbride | Nanette Newman's Naughty Knickers Say "Oh! Oh! Oh! | |
| 2000 Jun 6 | There was a young man from Kilbride | Goats Cannae Knit | |
| 2005 Oct 23 | There was a young man from Nantucket | The Tartan Cow Trap | |
| 2005 Feb 16 | There was a young man from Nantucket | Nantucket Disappointment | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | There was a young nun from Hoboken | Who's To Absolve the Jersey Stitch? | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | There was a young painter from Maine | The Hoity-Toity Envelopes | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | There was a young plumber from Dorset | Fate Knocks at Victorian Doors | |
| 2003 Oct 23 | There was an old coot from Zimbabwe | Robert Faked Tough Choices | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | There was an old geezer from Kent | Fellatio Limericks | |
| 2003 Dec 18 | There was an old goatherd named Bill | Forever In Love With Marilyn | |
| 2003 Sep 10 | There was an old hag from New York | The Exorcism of All Limericks | |
| 2003 Oct 14 | There was an old lady from Wales | Relentless Knishes | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | There was an old maid from Duluth | A Doberman You All Wanted To Know | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | There was an old man from Peru | A Homerian Epic of Anglicans in Peru | |
| 2005 Mar 30 | There was an old man from Sioux Falls | Fashion Misstated | |
| 2003 Nov 21 | There was an old man, Mr. Tucker | Avoidance Of Outrageous Aphorisms | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | There was once a man in a tale | Jonah On War | |
| 1998 Jun 3 | There was, perhaps, a waving arm, | Nine Beatles Glimpsing Salvation | |
| 2004 Mar 5 | There' s no use whining | Punctuated Parsimony | |
| 2006 Aug 15 | There's a red house over yonder | The Lesson Of Days Before Tuesday | |
| 1999 Jan 7 | There's a THERE there all right | All But There | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | There's halfcock and moorcock | Cocksure | |
| 2004 Feb 13 | There's many pheasant pluckers farm life's field | Harvest Me Gently Yet | |
| 2000 Nov 7 | There's no adventure that's too fanciful | Squeezing Another's Pocket | |
| 2003 Jan 10 | There's nothing so original | Squeeze the Glands Beyond Table Manners | |
| 2001 Nov 7 | There's nothing to accomplish in the dust | Kurosawa Crawled Heavenward | |
| 2004 Feb 13 | There's time enough for changing sides | I Won't Be Flying Anywhere Near Basildon | |
| 2003 Jun 5 | There's too little gristle and not enough fat | Spin-doctors Confused | |
| 2000 Oct 30 | There, dancing on my cranium | Cullington's Theorem | |
| 2004 Aug 5 | These brief lines | To The Nth Decree | |
| 2007 Mar 15 | These brinks on which we teeter | Lest We Forge Unwitting Jubilation | |
| 2005 Nov 12 | These canals are full of fish?! | Amsterdam Transfers | |
| 2002 Oct 2 | These comedy moths | Grappling infrequently with the engine-driver's antibodies | |
| 2004 Aug 4 | These cosy virtuosi | Nightly Coal Kimono | |
| 2004 Oct 11 | These distinctions, in the dark, | State-side Transmissions | |
| 2003 Mar 9 | These latter-day halfwits, invading the turf | Pestilent Ploughshares, Deficient Turnips | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | These lovely fruit loops in my lap, these hairpins on my dog | Untitled | |
| *** | 1997 May 22 | These low and oily charmers | One Smug Portillo, Timely Forgotten |
| 2003 Sep 18 | These neatherds know a trick or two | Sound-Effects for Hitchcock's Railway | |
| 2004 Jun 26 | These old molluscs, bought for tea, inscribe | M 32 Road Movie | |
| 2004 Jul 7 | These pronouncements, from the moon, were made in dead of night: | The Right Lunar Terrace Concept | |
| 2001 Dec 7 | These suicides, who strut the streets | North-South Pedestrian Crossings | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | They | Ode to the Televangelists | |
| 1997 Jan 24 | They also serve who wait there to return | The Uneasiness Of Motives | |
| 2007 Jan 5 | They met at Domus Felix | In Dreams of Counterfeited Harmony | |
| 2004 Nov 18 | They say that those who live their lives | Envious Neighbors | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | They say the power has just gone out | The Over | |
| 2004 Mar 22 | They say you're no good | Before Cows Were Chic | |
| 2003 Jun 16 | They trained me, from mine early years | Swinging the Tarzan | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | Things I would do if I were a cowboy: | If You Were Unveiling | |
| 2004 Dec 1 | This bathing cap, whose time-eroded pleats | Thoughts Of The Tedious Old Graybeards | |
| 2003 Nov 4 | This bottle of grease is empty! | Milk Shouting Louder | |
| 2004 Jan 29 | This caustic little ditty | Evening Along Its Transverse Axis | |
| 2004 Mar 24 | This choice of relish was not of the best, | Marrows Away | |
| 1998 Apr 3 | This confirms | Reduplications over | |
| 2000 Jan 7 | This divan whereupon I lie | The Margarine Heart-Throb | |
| 2004 Apr 19 | This diversion - to the moon! - | Chesse-topped Minstrels | |
| 2001 Aug 16 | This door is alarmed | There goes another racing certainty | |
| 2002 Jan 14 | This egg, which sank in mercury, | Benign Impostures | |
| 2004 Aug 24 | This encroachment, on my lawn, | Estonian Homonyms | |
| 1997 Sep 20 | This extra leg's a bother | A Toasted Budgie in my Laxative | |
| 2000 Feb 15 | This flower that we planted long ago | Sonnet | |
| 2004 Jun 25 | This happy nest has made me cry | Each Dainty Ballerina And Her Imaginary Pilchard | |
| 2001 Dec 10 | This helicopter, whose neglect | Inwardly, Yet Outwardly | |
| 2004 Jun 24 | This invention makes me sick! | Unworthy Of Scorn | |
| 1997 Mar 2 | This is an ode to all things past, | Swooping Ono Delight | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | This is dedicated to the one I love | Ownership for Men | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | This is in free verse and I mean to state that always the cambembert is stale | Untitled | |
| 2005 Feb 16 | This is now | The Frictionless Vol-au-vent | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | This is the first line | Finis is | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | This is the strangest place | Memories Sleep With You | |
| 1997 Sep 8 | This is the way the lady rides | Can poignant rubbish be reliable? | |
| 2007 Mar 26 | This lizard, crabbed and taut, | Unless Cruel Servitude Beckons | |
| 2006 Jun 27 | This mausoleum, filled with Zinc, | Death Again | |
| 2004 Jan 22 | This message to the nearly dead | The Cork Coffins | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | This metropolis, this wasteland, these wand'ring souls | Several Nirvana Years | |
| 2003 Dec 23 | This mortal skull that looks on me | Peaches En Famille | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | This mournful empty space | Vacancy Is All The Rage | |
| 2004 Jun 25 | This mouth of salt | The Kiss Cabin | |
| 1997 Jul 23 | This overbearing convoy | Mind My Forgotten Puddleduck | |
| 2004 Jan 3 | This page is discontinued | Avoid The Dossier | |
| 2005 Sep 4 | This Plasticene®'s Jurassic, don't you know? | Leonine Mellinger Pronounces Herself Destitute | |
| 2003 Oct 17 | This plethora of pickles | Any Old Moth-Eaten Universe | |
| 2002 Jul 5 | This poem concerns Hades. | In Contempt of a Buried Steamship | |
| 2003 Nov 9 | This poem was written by Walter Raleigh | Bird Authors' Noble Claims | |
| 2004 Jun 25 | This poem will be highbrow and clean as a whistle | Thistle Bow And Saw | |
| 2004 Sep 16 | This rare dark beauty doth my heart inspire | Nothing But The Very Onerous Consumption Of Desire | |
| 2004 Oct 6 | This secret haven | Outlawed Haiku | |
| 2005 Jan 28 | This small sachet - take a sniff! - | Where Angels Spoonfeed Tiny Tots | |
| 2002 Jul 18 | This so-called portrait of the Bard | Professor Branestawm Finally Succumbs | |
| 2002 Jan 30 | This time, I shall follow my leader | My Finite and Fastidious Friend | |
| 2003 Aug 1 | This time, Sam, we'll make a deal | Fishing for the Deal Makers | |
| 2003 Nov 4 | This time, then another, then - perhaps - once more | Gambits Under Glass | |
| 2004 Dec 9 | This wearisome drought | Pathos During Moonsets | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | Thistly waysides line the primrose path of dalliance | The Providence Networks | |
| 2001 Feb 3 | Those onomatopoeic words | Birds - So? | |
| 2004 Jul 18 | Thou old, unruly turban | America Next Thursday Or Thereabouts | |
| 2003 Sep 7 | Thou still unopen'd flask of liquor, | Beer Gods | |
| 2006 Jun 20 | Thou, pollen, art my nemesis | The Lost Banter | |
| 2006 Jul 29 | Though Cecil balked at Puffy's plan | Ravioli Ramblings | |
| 2000 Jan 31 | Though drowning in the vat, I can | Pontifex Caught Under Bridges | |
| 2004 Jan 29 | Three down redoubled, 1000 away | 440 Foursome | |
| 1997 Sep 15 | Three drops of cactus-water | One moonbeam, undercooked | |
| 2004 Sep 2 | Three hobbling blondes | Adrift Beyond Our Reckoning | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Three score and ten years ago | End And End | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Three smooth stones near water's edge, gray as everyday | Soupspoon | |
| 2000 Jan 7 | Three to one, three to one | Once Over Once Again | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | THREE WORDS PER LINE, UNRHYMED | Exemptions for the Uneducated Lozenge | |
| 2001 Jan 17 | Thumb screws , finger nails | I, Diamond Jim | |
| 1999 Nov 16 | Thus it remains, and the remainder thus | Billericay notwithstanding ... | |
| 1999 Jun 29 | Tick Tock...Boing! | Atmos the Ferric | |
| 2001 Sep 28 | Tie me to the lamp-post with a silken thread | Dagenham Cakeshop | |
| 2000 May 10 | Tie me to the undergrowth with a length of twine! | Three Dodgy Hamsters, Always Gardening! | |
| 2002 Nov 12 | Tie them to the bowsprit? With a scratched CD? | Epitaph for an Asymmetrical Arrrangement of Bears | |
| 2003 Dec 19 | Tim sits alone at his desk in the dark | Greatly Exaggerated Half-truths | |
| 1999 Jan 28 | Time and again I'm obliged to remark | Continental Head | |
| 2000 Dec 15 | Time and again, with weary tread | I Stagger Under Fourfold Fardels | |
| 2000 Jan 14 | Time stands still; the bullet hangs in the air | The Whatsit, Evermore | |
| 1998 Mar 17 | Timely teal creeps | Nocturne by Insectlike Co-authors | |
| 2007 Mar 28 | Tinctures of old lead | Sleeping is no Phenomenon | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | tiny | Straight Forward | |
| 2007 Mar 1 | Tirades against The Steady State | Before More Nuns Knew Lisaveta Pilchard | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | Titrate this acid, if you please, against this salt, | Highly Prized Hydrocarbon | |
| 2002 May 15 | To bridge the gap 'twixt man and machine | Colonels Crooning to Their Dowagers | |
| 2004 Aug 25 | To build a good business you must | While Parachutes Descend Upon Unsuspecting Parsons | |
| 2005 Feb 3 | To catch the dreaded Heffalump | Piglet In Weymouth | |
| 2004 Feb 23 | To cling, once more, to selfsame forms | No, Angels Shouldn't | |
| 2004 May 28 | To count the rings of Saturn | Desist, Whoreson Knave, Lest Great Cudgellings Befall Thee | |
| 2004 May 29 | To cudgel, to cajole | Banished From Man's Ears | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | To dear Mrs Hoopledon, I hope you're feeling better | Confessions, Truly | |
| 2002 Nov 6 | To drill through the crust of The Hague | Peeping Tomcat | |
| 2004 Oct 17 | To fetishise her silhouette | Dunciad Of Love-sick Hands | |
| 2006 May 30 | To generate hysteria, the Queen declared the area | Inbred Heirloom | |
| 2004 Mar 2 | To get into the Hall of Fame | To Strive For Dizzying Perfection | |
| 2005 Aug 22 | To grasp these prawns will take some skill | Lasers In Latin | |
| 2004 Dec 16 | To hoist a somewhat smaller flag | Doubly Formal Zebras | |
| 1999 Jul 5 | To line our wombs with chemicals | Unpleasant Lacuna | |
| 2004 Mar 19 | To polevault, or to stay in bed? | Collaborating, Supposedly | |
| 2004 Jun 16 | To prime one's seventh armpit | In Our Wintry Organ | |
| 2004 Jul 14 | To redefine our clique | Each Weary Welcoming | |
| 1998 Dec 13 | To renovate the galaxy | One More Landscape | |
| 2002 Oct 4 | To say that he was fat would be | Towards the Sloping Planet | |
| 2004 Aug 13 | To scuttle through the shallows with my claws stretched wide | Crabbily Dressed For Dancing Partners | |
| 2006 Sep 2 | To sit with you at sunrise | Can Chewing | |
| 2002 Jul 30 | To tear the grimy Gospel | Rotting Icebergs, Sketched by Proust | |
| 2000 Jun 14 | To think of bursting as a chore | Give It Some Welly Now! | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | To those of you who through the years | Revenge | |
| 2004 Jan 12 | To those who'd venture off the brink, atop a fold-up scooter, | Snow Wheels | |
| 2003 Jul 11 | To thy nobility am I obliged | Accessible Under Hegemony | |
| 2006 Jun 8 | To view the ocean from a cliff | Hereinafter Hake | |
| 2005 Jul 8 | To view this page as Scratch'n'Sniff | Crop Circling Gear | |
| 2005 Sep 3 | To wait upon the late express | Crustaceans In Error | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | To write a good poem several things are required | A Melee Mightn't Make My Machinations Musical | |
| 2004 Jul 5 | To yield without coercion | Who Knows More Than Folk? | |
| 2001 Jan 1 | Toast Christmas dog | Symphony Buttocks With Apricot Orchestra | |
| 2004 Dec 10 | Toasting bread is rarely easy | The Mean Spirit Inside My Frog | |
| 2001 Oct 12 | Today, when none was ever born | Conversely | |
| 2002 Nov 14 | Toffee dipped in chocolate, by the wastrel's hand, | Sign Rise | |
| 2003 Jul 26 | Tommy, where is my yellow scarf? | The Yellow Sofa | |
| 2006 Sep 7 | Tonsils made of plastic | Showmen, Their Regrettable Legend | |
| 2003 Nov 29 | Too gracious for a moonlight flit | Dodgy Flaps | |
| 1999 Feb 13 | Toothpaste is a substance that I readily ingest | Squeamish, Mother? | |
| 2002 Sep 9 | Torn off a strip | Mix My Chickens | |
| 2003 Sep 6 | Tragically, we must report this sad fact: | Googlewhacking Report | |
| 1997 Jan 12 | Translations of ancient words, | My Ingot Balloon | |
| *** | 1997 Jan 24 | Transubstantiation | Not Enough Sodium |
| 1997 Oct 11 | Tribal animosity | Reasonable Crimes Of Tarpaulin | |
| 2004 Nov 1 | Tribulation, fear and woe | Plane Of Placenta | |
| 1999 Feb 8 | Triceratops, my maiden aunt | The Helicopter's Plenitude | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | Trilingualism, once a curse, | U-Boat Blessings | |
| 2000 Jan 10 | Trim | The Cracked Omnipotence | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | Trombones are sounding in my sleep | I Hear Sousaphones Marching | |
| 2001 Aug 18 | Trumpets are green | Forget Neptune | |
| 2005 Aug 23 | Trust me with your pudding store | Help! Aunt Potter Stole My Neckerchief | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | Try not to get your knickers in a knot | Will Scarlett Ruffled Your Whiskers | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Turkey, yams and pumpkin pie | Food For Sentimental Souls Like Us | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Twas jillig and the smirky twerps | Spoonbillrocy | |
| 2002 Nov 5 | Twas' once the perfect time for wrath, | Queen Adelaide's Shapely Bozos | |
| 2003 Dec 29 | Twenty past midnight, I want to go home | Lament Not The Passing Of Haliborange | |
| 2003 Aug 30 | Twice I read your will | Why Death Is | |
| 2005 Jan 18 | Twice in one day! A rare delight | Home Schooling And No Bidets | |
| 2000 Mar 31 | Twice, beneath a battered moon | Sickening Ogresses Devour Octameters | |
| 2003 Nov 1 | Twixt D and F I'm found, but missing from this ballad | Even Elves Entirely Excellent | |
| 1997 Apr 10 | Two doggerels, whelped in one litter | 23 Babies In Maritime Tryst | |
| 1997 Apr 26 | Two doggerels, whelped in one litter | Trans-Atlantic Plagiarism, And The Combustible Alibi | |
| 2001 Dec 10 | Two-ring circus, one horse town | Twenty-Three Costermonger High-Road | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | Types of Medical Coverage | Farce Of | |
| 2003 Oct 10 | U LKE 2 HIKU? | Let's | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Ubiquity is the folly of unshorn llamas | Unshorn | |
| 2003 Jul 21 | Unbeknown to Ivor Pooter | Ivor the Besotten | |
| 2004 Oct 22 | Unbridled is your sense of fear | Pharyngitis Spells Trouble | |
| 1998 Aug 12 | Unbroken, unending, the wine-darkened sea | We Build, The Planes Come | |
| 1999 Dec 24 | Uncertain and yet, somehow, sure | Worse Shame Than Coal-Shovelling Tendencies | |
| 2004 Mar 16 | Uncle Stalin's on the floor | Relying On Our Native Discretion | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | Uncork the bottle and light a cigar | My Puckered Times | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | Under the covers, bodies move | Lost Lies Under | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | Under the shedding nose-nut tree | Tree Urchin | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | Underneath a mountain, in a dark secluded cave | The Thong Is What Poses | |
| 2000 Apr 3 | Underneath my Mother Tongue | Whose Other Stomach? | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | UNDERPANTS AND BLUCHERS | Things Seven Of Pairs Socks Cannot Provide | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Une nuit foncée et orageuse | The Global Hegemony of You and Yours | |
| 2007 Feb 19 | Union State gave way to blues - in a doleful way - | Fragments Concluded | |
| 1998 Jun 7 | Unpredictable grammar, | The mystified Walrus construction | |
| 2004 Mar 18 | Unshockable, the bailiff's urge | Proved Once, Baked Twice | |
| 1999 Feb 22 | Unskilled workers toil wordlessly | Never Knowingly Charmed | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Untitled | Untitled, Entitled, Retitled | |
| 2004 Dec 24 | Up here we no longer have a need . . . for thumbs | Limblessly Effortless | |
| 2003 Oct 13 | Up your nose with a rubber hose | Deep-Fried Nostalgia | |
| 2001 Dec 6 | Up, the new down | Hopping Around the Fringes | |
| 2004 May 18 | Upanishads and Vedic verse | We Sold Our Restaurants In Cyprus | |
| 2003 Jan 2 | Upon a star I wished one day | Alexandrian Wish Warrior | |
| *** | 2005 Jan 17 | Upon the next-to-shortest day | Grey From Top To Towpath |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Upon the plain the stegosaurus | Just As Jurassic | |
| 2006 Feb 28 | Vanishing by windmills, | Wise Virgins Stitched In Gorgonzola | |
| 2002 Oct 3 | Ventriloquists with salmonella | Not Lovers | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Venus and Serena | Universally Horsewhipped | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | Venus came to Athens, thence from there to Rome, | Olympian Breakfasting | |
| 2003 Nov 21 | Verily, I think I'll slump | Insufficiently Stylish Behaviour | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Versification is such titillation | Titillate but Don't Touch | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Versify where you are able | Difficult Times | |
| 2004 Jan 15 | Vesalius, whose scalpel bright | Anatomical Chaps | |
| 2003 Oct 19 | Violets are blue | Death is What the Cliché Will | |
| 1999 Apr 26 | Virginal scrapings are like unto gold | Handel's Balletic Hymen | |
| 2004 Oct 5 | Virus warfare for our times | Credible Safe Kill Factor | |
| 2003 Jun 23 | Vowels with a vengeance invigorate vows | Rock Husks | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Waking up at sparrow's fart | Morning | |
| 2004 Aug 30 | Wallowing hogs and leaping frogs | Addicts Of Various Dispositions | |
| 2000 Dec 25 | Waltzing through the alley-way | Titograd Cathedral, Fatuous In Defeat | |
| 2001 Dec 11 | Wandering churchwardens, speaking in tongues | Dreaming Our Favourite Cyclones | |
| *** | 2000 Jan 30 | Warm in nutritious mulch, we germinate, | Big Custard |
| 2002 Oct 10 | Wars are documentaries now... | Knitting Vol-au-vents | |
| *** | 2004 May 21 | Was it for this that I sold all my children? | Seven Seasons In Red |
| 2004 Apr 15 | Watch out for my claim | Businessman In Loose Flannels | |
| 2005 Jan 11 | Way down upon the Swanee River | The Crooner Under Cover | |
| 2004 Sep 21 | We are the Corporation | Nature And Delight Worn Out | |
| 2006 Feb 24 | We changed your appointment | Lodestar Of The Ballooning Nurse | |
| 2005 Sep 9 | We danced, in nothing but a hat | When Caesar Foamed | |
| 2000 May 14 | We don't regret the cakes that glisten in the sand | In Africa, Hoplessly Lost | |
| 2003 Oct 4 | We fell into the ocean | Our First Love We Denied | |
| 2006 Mar 15 | We flee the sun, and head back to the gray | Homeward Boundary | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | We have searched the world for treasure | Goals and Perils | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | We have waited for a new beginning | The Horizons of Renewal | |
| 2004 Nov 30 | We hear you're taking a trip to the moon | Lunar Love-fest | |
| 2000 Aug 15 | We met in Dublin, in disguise, | Phyllis, My Secret Squirrel | |
| 2006 May 4 | We must perform a Quirkafleeg | Good Bugs | |
| 2005 Apr 25 | We pick on them because we know | While Letting Agencies Do Their Damnedest | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | We sailed on the third of July | Here Moon, There Another | |
| 2004 Feb 27 | We scaled it down | Messages For Sandwichmen | |
| 2004 Feb 12 | We set out, full of hope and ale, one grey December morn | Gateways Home To Worthing | |
| 2001 Aug 20 | We start our tale outside a German wood | Near the Symbolist Palace of Atrocities | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | We tried our darnedests to succeed | Weary With Strangely Sprung Happiness | |
| 2003 Nov 23 | We went to sea in a gravy boat one gray autumnal day | Boating Pleasures | |
| 2003 Jan 30 | We were a million strong and growing | Peace Comes Drivelling | |
| 1997 Jan 3 | We were always in her debt | Hoisting Eyeball Three | |
| 1997 Mar 30 | We were down to obsolete zero | Lifeless Sheds | |
| 2004 Apr 15 | We who were not bound to rhyme | Dragonfly With Diamonds | |
| 2001 Apr 18 | We'll try once more before the crash | Time Itself | |
| 2006 May 29 | We've gathered together today | Longshoremen Fit Only For Nightmares | |
| 1999 Apr 7 | Weasels ripped my heart out | This Pinteresque Portion | |
| 2001 Oct 2 | Welcome to the conversation | Misconduct With Whosoever Chooseth | |
| 2003 Jun 18 | Welcome, fine folks, but please be more attentive! | Pickle My Creation | |
| 1999 Feb 8 | Well bless my soul and clean my boots! I've started a new stanza | Quantum Snork Sput Snooting | |
| 2004 Jan 13 | Well! That relief was pretty short | Tsunamis Get The Surfers | |
| 2003 Oct 10 | Wetching in the tersome rain | Have You Enough Putty? | |
| 2003 Dec 22 | What a strange little boy is Timmy John Jones | About Buck | |
| 1998 Dec 11 | What an opportunity, what a sheer delight! | Ambush Every Closure | |
| 2004 Jan 28 | What are the odds | Parsec Progression Beyond | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | What are these glass shards upon the floor? | Untitled | |
| 2000 May 29 | What baby spurns the cattle-grid | Off Ovary Street | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | What better place than here? | Large Enough To Store Time | |
| 2002 Nov 29 | What cloud through yonder window frowns? | Swimming for Pilgrims | |
| 2002 May 13 | What dire offence from am'rous causes springs | Mr Leather Roasted Little Squid | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | What do you want to do with this? | Infatuation: The Amusing Conundrum | |
| 2003 Sep 27 | What evil you planning today? | In Piles of Half-Burned Pizza | |
| 2003 Mar 11 | What God did on the seventh day | Mountainous Piques | |
| 1996 Nov 28 | What I say is seldom what I mean, | Frisson | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | What if one swallow does make a summer? | Antiproverbial: Aphorisms Redefined | |
| 2000 Jun 14 | What is a thruttock? questioned Sam | Sparklingly Devoid Of Interest | |
| 2000 May 24 | What is that great black bird I see? | Is My Navel Growing? | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | What is the matter, my fine-feathered friend? | Feathery Fiends | |
| 1999 Aug 30 | What is the point if one lacks the finish ? | Tarantula Flakes Ripped my Earlobe | |
| 2004 Jan 25 | What is this evil in our midst? | Cheese Pistons Of All Ages | |
| 2004 Feb 23 | What kind of men are these, with beards and balding pates? | Pious Hens of Unknowing | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | What kind of tree would you most like to be? | Bored Magnolia | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | What makes a lively lunchtime | Several Sporting Opportunities For Norwich | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | What of Phaeton, Hyperion, Icarus, the angel Lucifer? | Giggling Idols | |
| 2004 Jun 17 | What shall we do today, my dear, where would you like to go | Ages Rush By, Unremarked By Anyone | |
| 2000 Jun 26 | What sort of dog is this? I hear you ask | Butcher's Lament On Nothing | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | What strange goings-on have there been in this town | Tale Of Municipal Ribaldry | |
| 2004 Jan 18 | What time does the apocalypse start? | End-time Octave | |
| 1997 Mar 18 | What tremor racks my boneless foot? | Albert Questions The Benighted Cauliflower | |
| 2004 Jan 13 | What venom lies behind the name | Athens Whose Ruins | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | What will they think of next, those clever clever men | Consciousness for Peptides | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | What's that in your pants? Is it something to eat? | Bedevil The Faithful | |
| 2003 Sep 6 | Whatcha gonna do when the money runs out? | Sister Sarah and the Beef Panic | |
| 2003 Aug 1 | Whatchamacallit and thingamajig | Pick You What | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Whatever are you doing, Mr. Trimble? | Agog at the Freaks | |
| *** | 2000 Jan 31 | Whatever happened to darling Denise? | Adam's Ballooning Error |
| 2000 Aug 13 | Whatever happened to summer? | Wattle Orb Brie (Summer) | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Whatever shall we do with your Aunt Sadie? | What Boils Soot? | |
| 2007 Feb 18 | Whatever we choose | Desire It | |
| 2003 Dec 9 | When addressing a horse, remember the rule: | Etiquette Toward Farm Animals | |
| 2004 Nov 9 | When all seems lost, all hope forlorn | Packing-case Diagrams | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | When all the world is going mad | Madness | |
| 2003 Dec 8 | When all the world is still and quiet | Drawn By The Pencils Of Night | |
| 2004 May 17 | When any lowbrow tunesmith offers notes | Oversight Of The Acrosticial | |
| 2004 May 26 | When any lowbrow tunesmith offers notes | Profit From Jaaaaazzzzzzzz | |
| 2001 Oct 8 | When Apsley dreams of Arabella Spommit, | Immer mit Einheit | |
| 2000 Apr 10 | When asked to choose an Antipope | To The Goatherds | |
| 2006 Feb 1 | When at night I go to sleep | Tombola Parking | |
| 2004 Oct 12 | When chatty foils reappear | Cardigan Wildlife Artists | |
| 2006 Mar 20 | When choosing the proper wine | All The Benighted Croutons | |
| 2006 Jun 14 | When cloning pigs or kangaroos | Complicated Whimper | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | When composing a poem, one must | Poetry Alloys | |
| 2004 Aug 17 | When coupled with that | It Might Not Be That Scrap | |
| 2000 Mar 16 | When cuttlefishes congregate | Bosworth: An Ode | |
| 2006 Mar 14 | When Doomsday comes, where will you be? | The Death Wish List | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | When down-and-outs start trading shins | Not Their Fault At All, Really | |
| 2000 May 30 | When Duck and Gerbil went adventuring | Duck Soup Stories | |
| 2000 Nov 23 | When ducks and drakes meet late at night | Always Blithering | |
| 1999 Oct 23 | When Ethelred beheld the axolotl | Beneath the Dismembering Sky | |
| 2002 Apr 24 | When first I woke upon this day, | Begone! Said The League of Ostriches | |
| 2003 Oct 8 | When flying on a jumbo jet | Plutarchs Anthill Blues | |
| 2000 Aug 29 | When Friday rolls eventually around | Against Tintin: Yesterday And Today | |
| 2003 Aug 27 | When Granma discovered my dungeon | Headless Parrots | |
| 2002 Jul 18 | When Granny comes for tea and cake | Beside the Derelict Hat-stand | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | When grinkles with the morgles bink | Untold Grinkles do the Zink | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | When halfway through swimming the channel | Learned Sea | |
| 1999 May 30 | When Hydrogen confounded Zinc | Zinc Oxide Alarum | |
| 1999 Nov 17 | When I consider ............ no, I can't go on | Corking the Windswept Wolves | |
| 2002 May 15 | When I consider how my light is spent, | My Helium Pancakes Notwithstanding | |
| 2004 Feb 5 | When I consider what my wife has spent | Sorry Lament For Gilded Wallets | |
| 2007 Feb 14 | When I fell in love with you | Howsomever, Queyntely | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | When I find myself in times of trouble, | Paid to End | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | When I get to the bottom, I go back to the top | Beatles Stew | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | When I was a lad, I served my time | Pinaforesque | |
| 2001 Sep 13 | When I was living with an elk | Occasionally I Have Fallen Ill | |
| 2002 Oct 3 | When I was old, and on my tongue | Wheezing Matilda | |
| 2003 Nov 23 | When I was only seventeen, I fell in love with a Gypsy queen | The Allure Is Fortunately Passing | |
| 1999 Jan 26 | When I was walking this I saw: | Walk, don't sniffle and you won't get it | |
| 2001 Nov 12 | When I was young and fancy free | Slice My Sausage Thinly, Samantha | |
| 2000 Apr 27 | When I was young and fancy free | My Undoing | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | When I was young did eagerly frequent | Feet Were Walking | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | When I was young, I was terribly poor | Rich Tarts' Applause | |
| 2001 Aug 13 | When I was young, we had a cave | Obsoletely and Ignominiously | |
| 2004 Apr 19 | When I went to Inverness | Amulets As Fishcakes | |
| 2004 Aug 13 | When I went to the bar as a very young man | Perdition In Vitro | |
| 2004 Feb 11 | When JB Priestley, in his bath | Wandering Socks Found Wanton | |
| 2000 Mar 17 | When Kierkegaard was down-at-heel | Philosophers Lacking Reason | |
| 2000 Jan 6 | When lightning strikes at midnight | Try Sucking Your Ear Under Water | |
| 2000 May 14 | When mice attack a quarter-back | Ramsgate Station (1066) | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | When mummies in their sarcophagi | Pyramids | |
| 2000 May 8 | When my Doppelganger calls | Endlessly Transitory | |
| 2007 Jan 5 | When my friend, Jarvis, called me 'queer' | Semolina and its Would-Be Dictionary | |
| 2004 Jan 14 | When nightfall arrives with a purplish glow | Contempt For Moustaches | |
| 1998 Feb 15 | When nights draw in, and pubs resound with tales of Arthur's deeds | The swarthy Wellington-boot | |
| 2002 Apr 11 | When no Esquimau obtains | Caesar and the Suprise Chicken | |
| 2002 Aug 28 | When nuns collide, then is the time | Infested by Dali Specialists | |
| 2001 Oct 5 | When Nylon paves the way for silk | Culling Ear-Trumpets by the Ganges | |
| 2006 Jun 16 | When o'er the willows whipporwills | Night Thoughts | |
| 2000 May 16 | When Ogden Nash ran out of cash | Embezzlement | |
| 2006 Jun 29 | When once I bumped a smallish man | The Caretaker Who Cried Wolf | |
| 2003 Oct 19 | When one would look into your eye | Disease Me | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | When our pets outlive their use | The Progenitors Served Them | |
| 2004 Oct 26 | When packing bags, it's always best to try | Unsubtle Songs And Cowboy Gemstones | |
| 2004 Jun 10 | When pass-the-parcel palls | In The Seventh Parcel Are Several Businessmen | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | When pigs grow wings and cows speak French | The Frenchified Arrogant | |
| 2005 Oct 16 | When Pinter won the Nobel Prize | Unlikely Caretaker In Kansas | |
| 2003 Sep 28 | When playing a game of poker with some dogs | Wiggling On Steroids | |
| 2002 Nov 21 | When poets strive against the muse | Britney's in Purdah | |
| 2001 Jun 29 | When rank delusion soils the mind | Tooth Drill In Sandwich Town | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | When saturation takes its toll | Millipede Stain | |
| 2004 Jan 27 | When shifting the permanent way | Womenfolk Taken Aback | |
| 2003 Nov 19 | When shining shoes, you really must | Misconstruing Hullabalooing | |
| 2004 Aug 26 | When shopping for a pachyderm | Carry No Weightlifters Aloft | |
| 2001 Jul 18 | When singing to potatoes, the cowboy always stutters; | Arctic Charlie | |
| 1997 Dec 21 | When skies are grey, the darkest thought | The Bethlehem Magnetometer | |
| 2003 Sep 17 | When Spoonbill went on the blink | Anarchy Pastilles | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | When spoonbilling, always say "boo!" | When Sheep Moo | |
| 2002 Jan 8 | When standing on my pantofles | Apsley's Gannet! | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | When starting on a masterpiece | Flattery of a Goose | |
| 2000 Dec 9 | When Sullivan was just a lad, his father went to see | Stroll Across The Pier | |
| 1998 Mar 31 | When syrup happens to congeal | Witness My Self-important Bitumen | |
| 2003 Dec 3 | When tapdancing down the Champs Elysees | Popcorn Of The French | |
| 2000 May 17 | When teaching Granny to suck eggs | My French Bananas Of Unbounded Magnificence | |
| 2002 Mar 14 | When the last train left the station | Nowhere Quickly Pales | |
| 2004 Jan 16 | When the mercury plunges to ungodly lows | Shivering With Sharks | |
| 2006 Jun 13 | When the new one comes out | Concerto For Nobody And Drum | |
| 2004 Feb 17 | When the pressure on our thinking | Perpetual Hermeneutic Of Girl-Guides | |
| 1998 Jan 1 | When the wallet of the wealthy with fivers stiff is stuffed | Narrow Trousers in Pimlico | |
| 2006 May 31 | When they talk about Eau de Cologne | Simulacra Of The Smaller Variety Found In Brighton | |
| 2000 Jan 18 | When Thoth was King of Bermondsey | Cement Listlessly Poured Upon An Impostor | |
| 2000 Sep 17 | When Time has run its merry dance | Fondling Benedict: The Groan Matrix | |
| 2001 Sep 6 | When to the summons I brought my fist | Browsing Police | |
| 2001 Jun 3 | When to the summons of a baker's wife | Sonnets Lately Despatched | |
| 2002 Oct 3 | When toast-eating poets have eaten their fill | This Lunch-Box of Fate | |
| 2003 Oct 16 | When Uncle Roland came to stay | Darling Little Orphans | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | When words cannot convey | Mean Words | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | When you look around and realise that naught is what it seems | What is Rope? | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | When you met me in the restaurant | Dreaming Of Bagels And Java | |
| 2000 Jul 24 | When you proposed this concert | Guildford, Epping, Tooting | |
| 2000 Apr 24 | When you said you were my friend | Felicity Kendall's Lovely Armpits | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | When you see me, pass me by | Diesel Pass | |
| 2004 Jul 6 | When you take a taxicab, don't forget to tip | Forget About Broken Daisies | |
| 2003 Nov 6 | When you trim the hair away | Hairpiece | |
| 2002 Sep 21 | When you wish upon a stoat | Our Lissom Laureate | |
| 2004 Feb 6 | When You've made all Creation in just seven days | Questions, Not More | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | When young and old, the old and new | Car with Contrast Fetish | |
| 1999 Jan 10 | When your boots are filled with brandy | Thumbscrews This Time | |
| 2002 Mar 22 | When, in the night, I start to doubt | Dubious Factory | |
| 2000 Apr 27 | Whenas April with his sweet showers | Holding Nigella Lawson's Python | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Whene'er I see a falling star | Gentrification is a Giggle | |
| 2004 Aug 31 | Whenever I go for a smoke | The Deepest, Darkest Regions Inside My Colon | |
| 2002 Aug 23 | Whenne that Julye, with its weather bloodie | Fortissimo Epilogue | |
| 2004 Jan 26 | Where are the songs of yesteryear? | Looking Good Backwards | |
| 2007 Jan 16 | Where do they go when they're ended | This Famous Story of Spelling | |
| 2004 Jan 2 | Where has haiku gone? | That Otherwise Fruitful Humanity | |
| 2003 Aug 3 | Where have all the guppies gone? | Cleaning the Little Weasels | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Where have our old-timers gone? | Foresight in F Minor (Haydn) | |
| 2002 Dec 3 | Where is fester? What is he? | Life-Threatening Tuesday Mornings | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | Where was JFK, the evening I was shot? | Our Knoll Stroll | |
| 1999 Sep 6 | Where, oh where is the Phantom Menace | Hugo Onerous (Episode1) | |
| 2004 May 1 | Which came first, the liver or the wurst? | Late Comers To Rollerblades | |
| 2000 May 15 | While blotting my escutcheon | Fingering Second Every Town | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | While bouncing on a sea of jello | Jello Fellow | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | While cycling through the clouds one day | Brief Glimpses of Aqua Nova | |
| *** | 2002 Nov 15 | While editing the alphabet | Civic Pyjamas Akimbo |
| 2003 Dec 10 | While I was panhandling one bright sunny day | Abuse Of Frequent Positivism | |
| 1998 Jan 30 | While I was walking my dog on the moon | Music, Unless... | |
| 2006 Sep 20 | While others stand empty | Demanding Chocolate Money Back | |
| *** | 2004 May 18 | While strutting through the quicksand | Calling For A Funicular Tramway Service |
| 2003 Jul 20 | While surfing on the web one day | Bingled | |
| 2003 Oct 16 | While trudging through the swamp let us endeavor | Sleeping Is Ignorance | |
| 2004 Feb 19 | While you were away | Forgive, Offhandedly | |
| 2004 Apr 24 | Whilst figuring out how to untie his shoes | Longingly Depend | |
| 2003 Oct 17 | Whilst painting the ceiling, the artist remarked: | Incompetence, Incompetence | |
| 2004 Mar 9 | Whilst walking on the darkling path | Nothing But Extra Famine | |
| 2001 Feb 2 | Whipping in ocean tides and winds of the Sicak peninsula | The Truth Beyond Ginger | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Whirring dials and blinking lights | Bees' Buttocks | |
| 2003 Sep 10 | Who ate my doughnuts? I could weep | Filling For That Apocalyptic Sandwich | |
| 1998 Sep 27 | Who can fathom the rat's cunning ways? | Ode to the Laughter of my Pancreas | |
| 2000 Oct 15 | Who comes to answer Pity's call? | Naturally We're Coughing | |
| 2006 May 11 | Who could resist | 22 Catheters Soaked By Circumstance | |
| 2002 Dec 6 | Who dares cross the line? | When the Spanish Attack | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | Who goes there? I hear your steps | Dangerous Dancing Sensations | |
| 2003 Aug 16 | Who needs rhetorical questions? | Fish Brocade | |
| 2002 Dec 9 | Who pollutes the Muses | Tendencies (Lapsed) | |
| 2000 Nov 25 | Who predates this predator | Argentina Is Imaginary | |
| 2000 Feb 15 | Who remembers me, Lieutenant Aubergine? | Binyon County: The Defective Kite | |
| 2004 Jan 28 | Who welds a poem huger than the grave? | Excess Ease Coming | |
| *** | 1997 Dec 28 | Who were the Bewlay Sisters | Swimming While Drowned |
| 2003 Dec 5 | Who will come with me, who will come play? | Lament For The Unseen Cake | |
| 2004 Oct 11 | Who will search | Holy Things Always Worry Women | |
| 2003 Sep 21 | Whoremongers, rumormongers, mongers galore | Milkround | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | Whose clothes these are, I think I know, | Often Percolate | |
| 2000 Jun 13 | Whose is the hand that eats my head? | We Falter, Our Falling Too Facile | |
| 2003 Feb 11 | Why are men so damn complex? | Overtures Misunderstood | |
| 2002 Apr 12 | Why can't the wicked inherit the Earth? | Nothing Bought With Eurocheques, I Imagine | |
| 2004 May 26 | Why do I sit here, why do I strive | Home Time Before Cock-crow | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | Why do people stare at me? | A Pointy Neck | |
| 2003 Aug 1 | Why do you chide me when you could ride me? | Why you never dared tell the Pope about Mother Hubbard | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | Why do you stare, do you think that I care? | Enigma Who Will Someday Prove Secret | |
| 2002 Dec 14 | Why don't we rename Christmas? | Having Stacy In Song | |
| 1998 Feb 26 | Why is it so dark in the middle of this life? | If Shadows Could Jest | |
| 2003 Jul 9 | Why isn't tomorrow | Scapegoat Ranchers | |
| 2001 Apr 25 | Why me? | Our Only Strawberry | |
| 2003 Oct 9 | Why must you dance the lambada? | Dancing the Inevitable | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Why must you eat the kielbasa? | Spooning the Kielbasa Worse Than Me | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Why must you gargle on the couch? | Gargling Troubadours | |
| 2003 Oct 31 | Why must you paint your toenails ruby red? | Why Do The Unusual? Why Not! | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Why must you tinkle in your pants? | Untitled | |
| 2007 Mar 17 | Why not howl at Saturn? | That Final Catheter | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Why should I even try to convince you | Argument Can't | |
| 2003 Feb 7 | Why should I ration | Longings Unknown to Science | |
| 2003 Aug 2 | Why won't you tell me | Why Won't Secrets Reinvigorate our Parakeet? | |
| *** | 1999 Aug 4 | Why, oh why, oh why, oh why? | Quite |
| 2003 Jan 9 | Why, tell me why, is the future so green? | In Lemons | |
| 2000 Jan 27 | Why, when death inheres within the very egg | Within No Feasible Hemisphere | |
| 1998 Mar 2 | Wide eyed and innocent, she | All Aboard, Airhead! | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Will Kansas Sam be upset with us when he gets back? | Sam | |
| 2005 Feb 21 | Will you be f***ing p***ed if I use asterisks? | Still, Inkpots Leave Stains | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | Wine and women, women and song | Long Unbidden Melody | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Wise men have been fooled | Tumble Driers of Yesteryear | |
| 1996 Dec 24 | Wit of pig and limb of bat | The Furnishing Witches, or Lucy's Festive Wager | |
| 2004 Jun 27 | With 'action' just another word | Blackbird Singing With Bluebeard | |
| 2000 Feb 1 | With cogent epigrams | Advertising Plato | |
| 2003 Aug 23 | With faltering steps Alonso reached the summit | The Meatloaf Serenade | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | With operatic splendour did the door-bell sweetly chime | The Best Guests | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | With sinister speed, they come and go | It's the Spuds' Malevolence | |
| 2003 Oct 22 | With skin as pale as honesty | My Corduroy Mariner, Correspondingly | |
| 2005 Nov 14 | With sorghum, millet, rice and oats | Rorschach Fondling | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | With the first light of dawn, the great armies gather | Licks For Kicks | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Within this life awakening | Time is Our Sinecure | |
| 1999 Nov 3 | Without denying anything much | Implausible Emptiness in Andromeda Parkway | |
| 2004 Apr 20 | Without ever eating | She Never Even Saw His Noble Bonfire | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | Without my knife and apron, | Chutney Feathers | |
| 2003 Jun 21 | Without you | In Time (Full Icebox) | |
| 2003 Nov 13 | Wlatsome words were whispered | Whatever Is When | |
| 1997 Feb 8 | Woodworm! Spare that tray | The Cherry Challenge | |
| 2002 Jan 22 | Woolly mammoth, now unravelled | Tundra Nightmares | |
| 2003 Sep 23 | Words enfold me, winged things | Mix My Soul with Potions Metaphysical | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | Words to Live By | Words Galore | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | work, my work, i hate my work | Work and Home | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Would you care to dance? | Against Spelling | |
| 2003 Jul 21 | Would you care to multiply? | Giraffe Shoe Happenstances | |
| 2001 Oct 5 | Would you like to be a Womble? | Who to Blame? | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Would you like to waltz or samba? | Horace is What We Like | |
| 2004 Mar 30 | Would you like to wax my floor? | Somehow Somewhere Leads Nowhere | |
| 2007 Feb 18 | Wounded and silently brooding | Vulva Pinxit Hinc | |
| 2003 Sep 24 | Wtih frsit and lsat ltteer in palce, it's siad any wrod can be raed | Texted Evolution | |
| 2004 Jun 21 | Yeast admixed with poisoned brine | Chirping By Other Means | |
| 1997 Jul 13 | Yellowing leaves frame a watery sky | Fetch Away Fish! | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | Yes, haiku is back | Paul never liked peace anyhow | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Yesterday, all my poetry rhymed beautiflay | Yesterday Doesn't Go Like This | |
| 2004 Sep 14 | Yield unto me, maiden fresh, | Juicy John Chest Unit | |
| 2005 Sep 27 | You - a loan - are the Most High! | Any Extreme Prognostication Except | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | You are the very air I breathe, my sustenance | You Are Choking Me With Gloves On | |
| 2003 Jun 30 | You asked for a list of excuses, | Now Repercussions Don't Hibernate | |
| 2001 Jun 27 | You bled the life from out of his home! | Vacant possession of Chichester Cathedral (Song Cycles) | |
| 1997 May 31 | You call yourself a Yeti | How Met By Legion | |
| 2003 Sep 21 | You can choose to conform, you can choose to rebel | Beaming Constipation | |
| 2004 Nov 16 | You can't complain | The Newest Helmet | |
| 2004 Jan 12 | You can't take it with you - or so I've been told | Talisman Testicle | |
| 2006 Mar 29 | You claim that you've heard it before | To Dissuade Potential Consumers | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | You do not moo, you do not moo | Cow Ending | |
| *** | 2000 Jan 18 | You giants! You, who from this crag | A Behavioural Thesis |
| 2003 Sep 22 | You got a smile so sweet, you coulda been drip glucose | Apologies To The Stovepipe Baby | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | You have disrupted my routine, Mrs. Flugle | Vegetables, Frankly | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | You may think that it's time for a rhyme | But for the Headaches | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | You must, when adding cream to recipes | Contactual Precautions and Unbecoming Curses | |
| 2006 Jan 4 | You say 'tornado' | Clockwork Catechism | |
| 2006 Jun 25 | You shall not fail to summon me | Two Grebes Adrift | |
| 2003 Jun 22 | You shouldn't keep an apple | Telling Tales of Mother's Bullseye | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | You stare impassively at the world | God's Void Devoid | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | You stood trembling | New Battles for Deceit | |
| 2005 Nov 11 | You think of these as scones | iPods Crafted From Rusting Spanners Or Similar | |
| 2003 Jun 23 | You wouldn't want a cobweb | Abandon Malfeasance, My Cobweb Doctor | |
| 2003 Jun 18 | You write sixteen lines, and what do you get? | This Goaded Posture | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | You're my special Dalek | Quicksand in My Tush | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | You've learned to tie your shoelaces | They Multiply | |
| 2003 Oct 17 | You've seen but a few of my numerous failings | Reinstate War Fun | |
| 2001 Aug 9 | Young Margaret was a silly girl | She Performed Badly | |
| 2003 Dec 15 | Your babka, I hear, is delicious. Your cheesecake is second to none. | Tumbling Over The Sweets | |
| *** | 2000 Mar 20 | Your bland mosaics, weak and pale | Discredited in Birmingham |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Your chakra throbs with crystal chi | Metamorphosis: You Cave In | |
| 2006 Jan 8 | Your claws, My Dear, are half your charm | Such Conditions As Warrant Swift Kickings By Magistrates | |
| 2004 Nov 18 | Your clone is a much better lover | Mine Or Not To Be | |
| 1998 Mar 17 | Your cobwebs (your cosmetics) | Only Ingrid Soothes This Eyeball | |
| 2003 Nov 19 | Your ears are rather droopy | Ears Like Quinqueremes | |
| 1997 Jan 18 | Your fossil terrorised our clan | Arizona's Coptic Rime | |
| 2004 Sep 23 | Your frothy latte burns my tongue | Society Umbrellas | |
| 2002 Nov 12 | Your lack of understanding | A New Golem School | |
| 2003 Oct 27 | Your limpet grasp gives me no rest | Lemon Feet | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Your new line will go here | Cosmos Twirls | |
| 2000 Dec 1 | Your new line will go here | 'Destiny', Said Chastity, 'Doesn't Fulfil' | |
| 2004 Sep 9 | Your putative queen, dear sire, has fled, | Drenched In Watery Ends | |
| 2004 Feb 21 | Your valentine was late arriving, the message rather sappy | Tardy Wishes For Sweethearts And Critics | |
| 2000 Mar 18 | Your words will be remembered through the years | The Tribunal of Paradoxes | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | Yup, they cleared the decks again | Oh! Gosh They've Gone | |
| 1996 Sep 5 | Zernebock howls. | Undeniably Awash | |
| 2003 Jul 29 | Zero was an astronaut | Something Counts | |
| 2001 Jan 9 | Zoroaster sunnily bestows his | Iced Mohicans, Anyone? | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | ‘Screech Screech’, screeched the cat | My Confession | |