The Spoonbill Generator Archive
An Olden Treasury of Collaborative Verse
1996–2007
*** Hall of Fame — Alphabetical List of Titles — Index of First Lines
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The Spoonbill Generator ArchiveAn Olden Treasury of Collaborative Verse
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Poems by Year: 1996 -
1997 -
1998 -
1999 -
2000 -
2001 -
2002 -
2003 -
2004 -
2005 -
2006 -
2007 *** Hall of Fame — Alphabetical List of Titles — Index of First Lines | |
Poem: The Green Poem | |||
Title | First line | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| 1996 Nov 1 | Jail-mouth Slime | At the risk of sounding spiteful, I shall tell you what I think | |
| 1996 Dec 8 | Yellow Paris Hags | St Vitus, in his winter robe | |
| 1996 Dec 27 | The Lilliputan Comb | '"Inertia"? What a charming name!' | |
| 1997 Jan 12 | Tomorrow Hardly Trying | Above the burning snow | |
| 1997 Jan 24 | The Uneasiness Of Motives | They also serve who wait there to return | |
| 1997 Jan 31 | Diagnostic Encomium | Oh! How I hate his leaking bladder! | |
| 1997 Feb 12 | Almost After Forgotten | Sleepless wretched pacing, red-rivered eyes - glazed, gazing | |
| 1997 Feb 23 | False Memories of a Papal Failure | I blench to acknowledge my failure | |
| 1997 Mar 2 | Swooping Ono Delight | This is an ode to all things past, | |
| 1997 Mar 11 | Saint Nincompoop's Aplomb | I remember, I remember when verses used to scan | |
| 1997 Mar 22 | Orderly Insects Are Forecast | Small birds | |
| 1997 Mar 25 | My Gallic Endorsements | 'I wonder', mused the conqueror, 'why lemons seldom sing' | |
| 1997 Apr 6 | Regarding Mr Slick | Chiropracters, anarchists, and sheep | |
| 1997 Apr 15 | Horse-Face Shrike In Lonely Dialogue | By leaving no margin for error | |
| 1997 Apr 26 | It Isn't Often Oatmeal | In his book, 'The Uranium Fanfare', | |
| 1997 Apr 26 | Apocope-0Reticule | In my outhouse, far from Tunis | |
| 1997 May 28 | The Eagle Fallen | Octopus, the raven-haired | |
| 1997 Jun 14 | South Margin Closed, Always | Every thing hath a beginning | |
| 1997 Jul 13 | Fetch Away Fish! | Yellowing leaves frame a watery sky | |
| 1997 Aug 29 | Never Once Promising To Underestimate Buns | Over the choppy leather line | |
| 1997 Sep 20 | A Toasted Budgie in my Laxative | This extra leg's a bother | |
| 1997 Oct 28 | The One Incorruptible Servomechanism (The Princes' Mile) | Fancy Wills and Harry, | |
| 1997 Nov 29 | Requisite Tragedy | Christopher Robin was captured by those | |
| 1997 Dec 19 | Therapeutic Heresies | In the field, no break of day | |
| 1998 Jan 1 | Narrow Trousers in Pimlico | When the wallet of the wealthy with fivers stiff is stuffed | |
| 1998 Jan 20 | Soup Training - Who Cares? | Happy New Year to the burghers of Strood! | |
| 1998 Jan 30 | Conical Catharsis | A parent who neglects the tasks | |
| 1998 Feb 4 | An Idyllic Situation Ruined By Reed-Buntings | The best man is a tidy one, | |
| 1998 Feb 10 | Thoughts of Poseidon's Daughter | Edgily, along the pier | |
| 1998 Feb 18 | Unwholesome Lodgings | The opera-house, from half-past one | |
| 1998 Feb 26 | If Shadows Could Jest | Why is it so dark in the middle of this life? | |
| 1998 Mar 15 | Caramel Cribbage-Board | Keeping pace on cobbled lanes, | |
| *** | 1998 Mar 20 | Whiskers of Anonymity | Keep your vigil - face the facts |
| 1998 Mar 31 | Beyond Homespun | 'It is with most intense regret | |
| 1998 Apr 3 | Reduplications over | This confirms | |
| 1998 May 2 | Inexpensive Shakespearian Blancmange | For Macbeth it were done quickly, | |
| 1998 May 4 | Majestically Behavioral | The bilious fishwife was covered in stew, | |
| 1998 May 17 | Putresco's Wondering | Cartwheels begone! From shattered climes | |
| 1998 Jun 1 | Raskolnikov's Fallen | If night should fall before the deed is done | |
| 1998 Jun 8 | Sausages in Strangeness | A man in blackface wandered into the hall | |
| 1998 Jun 23 | Scouting for Mice | Stupidity, my carapace | |
| 1998 Jul 4 | Cheeseboard Dusk | The Books of Heaven opened, the pages to their destinations flying! | |
| 1998 Jul 27 | Neugierig, oder? | der Reim lernt eine neue Sprache | |
| 1998 Sep 4 | Romeo's Last Reward (Exodus) | The note bore the crest of nobility, | |
| 1998 Sep 29 | Bliss on Cusp | He met her in a French cafe... | |
| 1998 Nov 26 | The Labyrinthine City | Canterbury? No, it does | |
| 1998 Dec 1 | Outlet-valve in preparation | If spring does not come | |
| 1998 Dec 11 | Ambush Every Closure | What an opportunity, what a sheer delight! | |
| 1999 Jan 5 | Clouds In Angelic Underclothing | Swing down sweet cherubs and lie with me | |
| 1999 Jan 7 | Brain Pump Outlet | Louder than a hill of cheese | |
| 1999 Jan 20 | When We Were Proteins | In the warm air | |
| 1999 Jan 25 | Sensible Noses | A small crimson telephone quivers | |
| 1999 Jan 26 | Seeds | The seeds of gourds shook,shook,shook! | |
| 1999 Jan 28 | Continental Head | Time and again I'm obliged to remark | |
| 1999 Feb 3 | Tenacious Loip | A harsh law, or an honest law? | |
| 1999 Feb 8 | Quantum Snork Sput Snooting | Well bless my soul and clean my boots! I've started a new stanza | |
| 1999 Feb 11 | Spin Friar | The Lady's not for burning | |
| 1999 Feb 22 | Never Knowingly Charmed | Unskilled workers toil wordlessly | |
| 1999 Mar 2 | It never happened really except once maybe yesterday | The night was dark, and dire foreboding crackled in the air | |
| 1999 Mar 6 | Opacity's 22 Miraculous Beings | Silent in the midnight silence | |
| 1999 Mar 7 | Nubility One | The death's-head watched and waited, | |
| 1999 Mar 12 | Therapists Kill | Henrietta ate a cake | |
| 1999 Mar 23 | My Boatswain's Left Baboon | A third knee is a mighty boon | |
| 1999 Apr 7 | This Pinteresque Portion | Weasels ripped my heart out | |
| 1999 Apr 16 | A Bergsonian Lullaby For Cats | Cowboy and Chabot are on the go! | |
| 1999 Apr 26 | Handel's Balletic Hymen | Virginal scrapings are like unto gold | |
| 1999 May 7 | The Unseen Chill | The 'Spoonbill Chill' hung over the land | |
| 1999 May 23 | While I'm Devoid of Syntax | Slowly, slowly crept the maddened fox | |
| 1999 Jun 5 | Celibate Coinage in Whitechapel Lane | Poem composition is a task the world adores | |
| 1999 Jun 29 | Atmos the Ferric | Tick Tock...Boing! | |
| 1999 Aug 20 | The Etiquette of Hogwash Country | Once upon a golden morn | |
| 1999 Aug 30 | Tarantula Flakes Ripped my Earlobe | What is the point if one lacks the finish ? | |
| 1999 Sep 13 | Explorers from Futility | The 'Big Adventure' all began on a day of trepidation | |
| 1999 Sep 23 | Anathema or Assonance | A Plutonian plutocracy, a demonized democracy, | |
| *** | 1999 Oct 16 | The Knight who Rode a Goat to Barcelona | Before the porcupine descends |
| 1999 Nov 18 | Suds | The main thing to remember about hunting with a fish | |
| 1999 Nov 26 | Bottle Up | Spoons are the one thing God forgot | |
| 1999 Dec 1 | One Blonde Speaking After Silence | Like fish, attracted to a flame | |
| 1999 Dec 14 | Screaming by Rote | A random collection of words | |
| 1999 Dec 19 | On Heat For Months | Away! Here's neither inn nor manger | |
| 1999 Dec 23 | Hail Noddy! | Something whispers in my ear | |
| *** | 1999 Dec 24 | You'll be a Laughing-stock Tomorrow | At this festive, glowing season |
| 1999 Dec 26 | The Equilibrium Rankles | Let's not add another word | |
| 1999 Dec 29 | I, Everest | I hear the tread of thirty thousand men | |
| 2000 Jan 7 | The Margarine Heart-Throb | This divan whereupon I lie | |
| 2000 Jan 13 | Cloudier Mystery | Gad-about Gertrude, there she gapes | |
| 2000 Jan 18 | Cement Listlessly Poured Upon An Impostor | When Thoth was King of Bermondsey | |
| 2000 Jan 23 | Intergalactic Journey of a Broken Cruet | The Zimmer by the garage door | |
| 2000 Jan 25 | Abandoned Frightfulness | Consumed by Lust, whose second course | |
| 2000 Jan 27 | Within No Feasible Hemisphere | Why, when death inheres within the very egg | |
| 2000 Jan 29 | Her nerveless dressing-table, regarding which | Although her skull is squat and flat | |
| 2000 Feb 3 | The Sun Wolf | In the tallest tree | |
| 2000 Feb 7 | Sugar Hates Recollections | 'Handle not the lesser fruit!', so spake the chieftain bold, | |
| 2000 Feb 12 | Big Man Devours Helicopter's Emptiness | I made a little omelette with a single serpent's egg | |
| 2000 Feb 19 | The Yellow Singing Turncoats | Inflamed by passion and a touch of flu | |
| 2000 Mar 3 | Corporeal Longings: The Carrot Stick Of Appearances | The sun sinks slowly into the sea, or so it seems. | |
| 2000 Mar 15 | Stolen: Orville, My Disgusting Donkey | Quandary, a quandary, | |
| 2000 Mar 15 | Pigment Denial | Pigment | |
| 2000 Mar 16 | Bosworth: An Ode | When cuttlefishes congregate | |
| *** | 2000 Mar 20 | Discredited in Birmingham | Your bland mosaics, weak and pale |
| 2000 Mar 29 | Doglike Doings | I remember Folkestone in December | |
| 2000 Mar 31 | Sickening Ogresses Devour Octameters | Twice, beneath a battered moon | |
| 2000 Apr 4 | The Cakes, The Knife | Arabella Spommit was a temptress, all allure; | |
| 2000 Apr 4 | Suction By Toothsome Lip | By dressing up in surgeon's robes | |
| 2000 Apr 9 | Radishes Cloned My Goat! | Arabella Spommit had a cat made out of cheese | |
| 2000 Apr 10 | Are Like | If you were an ape, what kind would you be? | |
| 2000 Apr 12 | Waves, Water Under | If you were an ape, what kind would you be? | |
| 2000 Apr 27 | Holding Nigella Lawson's Python | Whenas April with his sweet showers | |
| 2000 Apr 27 | My Undoing | When I was young and fancy free | |
| 2000 May 1 | When We Got Bob Plastered... | Now I am old, and in men's eyes I see | |
| 2000 May 2 | Our Nose, Once Bitten | The great thing about the verse compositions of Ogden Nash | |
| 2000 May 3 | Universal Generalisations Are Tiresome | The chief delight of Roland Rat | |
| 2000 May 10 | Three Dodgy Hamsters, Always Gardening! | Tie me to the undergrowth with a length of twine! | |
| 2000 May 11 | Alone With Another Fool | I'm afraid he is addicted to collaborative verse | |
| 2000 May 15 | Wake! Capitulate! | I had a small Etruscan | |
| 2000 May 23 | Homily For Courtesans in Norwich cathedral | The cards were dealt, and in my hand | |
| 2000 May 24 | She Wasn't Waving But His Trousers Were | She was poor but she was honest | |
| 2000 May 29 | Under the Adriatic | In the darkness of the night | |
| 2000 Jun 1 | Never, Scarcely Ever | Give me bowls of carrots in the sunrise that is grey | |
| 2000 Jun 7 | The Tomato Points West | I like carrots in the spring-time | |
| 2000 Jun 9 | When It's When | An addictive personality | |
| 2000 Jun 14 | Bragging About Semi-colons | If only | |
| 2000 Jun 23 | Unseen Behind Ourselves Again | Away on the heather'd down | |
| 2000 Jul 6 | How Large Is Tina's Dinosaur? | I once asked Uncle Herbert | |
| 2000 Jul 18 | Her Promiscuity Made Good | Shall I compare thee to a coach and four? | |
| 2000 Aug 3 | Stuffed Pets | Fill up my brazen pockets with the water of the Loire | |
| 2000 Aug 15 | Phyllis, My Secret Squirrel | We met in Dublin, in disguise, | |
| 2000 Aug 29 | Against Tintin: Yesterday And Today | When Friday rolls eventually around | |
| 2000 Sep 17 | Fondling Benedict: The Groan Matrix | When Time has run its merry dance | |
| 2000 Oct 3 | My Zebra Toes | The stillness of the day, the ceaseless hum | |
| 2000 Oct 16 | Tents Erected in Plymouth Sound | 'Give me the buzz!' I shrieked in blunt Welsh | |
| 2000 Oct 24 | Integumental Teletubbies (Seventeen Hours Ago) | Mine is the eggcup, yours is the hake, | |
| 2000 Nov 1 | Keats Knew His Mind | Oh, what can ail thee, Knave of Hearts, | |
| 2000 Nov 2 | When Shoes Falter | 'Bring me a fish with a pear in its mouth!' | |
| 2000 Nov 3 | Spartan Opinions Devour Our Siblings | A pestilence, a nuisance, a wretched waste of time! | |
| 2000 Nov 7 | Squeezing Another's Pocket | There's no adventure that's too fanciful | |
| 2000 Nov 10 | Drawing-Rooms, The Only Terminus | Now my charms are all o'erthrown | |
| 2000 Nov 15 | Glistening Obbligatos | Oh ripely reeking Camembert! | |
| 2000 Nov 19 | Though Bereft of Blossom | Colours anniversary | |
| 2000 Nov 24 | Possibly Wasting My Days | Longshot: five apostles | |
| 2000 Nov 27 | Ninepenny Lithuanians - A Rhapsody | Cashier, change this love-note | |
| 2000 Dec 5 | The Strangler Ripped Asunder, Asunder | Perhaps a Lithuanian | |
| 2000 Dec 18 | The Ballad of the Blocked Toilets | She wandered through the garden fence | |
| 2000 Dec 19 | Eagles Can Never Despair | Demons of the centrifuge | |
| 2000 Dec 23 | My Raving Virgin | A perfect wedding in the snow | |
| 2001 Jan 1 | Symphony Buttocks With Apricot Orchestra | Toast Christmas dog | |
| 2001 Jan 9 | A Prawn Parading | An ant always admires actors | |
| 2001 Jan 12 | The Enslaved | I just can't help thinking of you | |
| 2001 Jan 15 | Ode Scribbled Rudely by Lennon | A is for the alligators alcoholically inclined, | |
| 2001 Jan 21 | Shutters Fold Tightly Again | 6 x 6 - from wall to wall | |
| 2001 Jan 24 | Future Dereliction Of Duty | Somewhere in the evening, at a screen not far from you | |
| 2001 Feb 19 | Firestorm Fingers | Have you heard the story of the Chattlewhump, my son? | |
| 2001 Feb 28 | Arresting the Compositor | Into the cauldron of possibility | |
| 2001 Mar 9 | Amusing-Esoteric | Necromancy doesn't work, my uncle used to say | |
| 2001 Apr 18 | Time Itself | We'll try once more before the crash | |
| 2001 Apr 25 | Our Only Strawberry | Why me? | |
| 2001 May 9 | Tadpoles of Doom | Remember me when I am dead, | |
| 2001 May 17 | Innocuously Or Venomously | I always caught the quarter-past; it never ran on time | |
| 2001 May 17 | PSSB | He is bald and bespectacled | |
| 2001 May 24 | Stravinksy in Sidcup: Untimely Minuet | If saints are souls with greater spirit | |
| 2001 May 30 | Unlikely Spectacles Watch On The Firm | 'Pine kernels, artichokes, tuna, beef and cheese' | |
| 2001 Jun 3 | Sonnets Lately Despatched | When to the summons of a baker's wife | |
| 2001 Jun 20 | Pointless Noses | A pound of cheese is just the stuff | |
| 2001 Jun 27 | Vacant possession of Chichester Cathedral (Song Cycles) | You bled the life from out of his home! | |
| 2001 Aug 1 | McBoreal's Adventure | Hamish McBoreal? The spaniel from the Glens? | |
| 2001 Aug 7 | Washed and Dried in Time | 'A ton of prunes, a pickled egg, two muskets and a globe?' | |
| 2001 Aug 9 | Matrimony is Hegemony, not Patrimony | She's all to me, and little more | |
| 2001 Aug 9 | Nostalgia for Breakfast - And Blue Sky | I wish I were in Ngunnawal again | |
| 2001 Aug 10 | Marinade Your Partner Daily | His passion was a restless sort | |
| 2001 Aug 13 | Obsoletely and Ignominiously | When I was young, we had a cave | |
| 2001 Aug 16 | There goes another racing certainty | This door is alarmed | |
| 2001 Aug 17 | Very Figurative | Add your own line to the poem | |
| 2001 Aug 20 | Airlock, Warlock | The Ministry of Frost | |
| 2001 Sep 6 | A Railway Canal | I cycled to the station with fury on my mind | |
| 2001 Sep 12 | Dense, Dense, Dense, Dense | Celebrate good times? | |
| 2001 Sep 22 | Daydream | Particularly pleasing was the scent of new-cropped straw | |
| 2001 Oct 3 | Hidden Are Our Own Inept Performances | Blended with the hint of curling smoke came release | |
| 2001 Oct 4 | Truculent Virtue | Here I am and here I'm staying! | |
| 2001 Oct 7 | Vindaloo (Abbreviated) | I sent my luv a cllphn txt | |
| 2001 Oct 9 | Hideous Indeed | Jarrow is my noble home | |
| 2001 Oct 12 | Conversely | Today, when none was ever born | |
| 2001 Oct 23 | Calf-Length Flight-Bone Prospects | Gilded by an autumn sun | |
| 2001 Nov 5 | Cutlery Tissues | Is it a bug or a feature? | |
| 2001 Nov 7 | Kurosawa Crawled Heavenward | There's nothing to accomplish in the dust | |
| 2001 Nov 13 | Lithuania Accepts Barclaycard Again! | The cabbage roared to see the mouse | |
| 2001 Nov 17 | Leave Meetings Behind | A slice of bread, varinshed with wax, | |
| 2001 Nov 20 | Frogmen Imminent | 'Tis time! 'Tis time! The deed is done | |
| 2001 Nov 22 | Afternoon Prayers, Being a Master-Class for Emissaries of Torpor | Let's be quick! Their backs are turned | |
| 2001 Nov 23 | Areas Of Devoid | Chief among the mammals | |
| 2001 Dec 5 | On Galvanizing Spartan Surfaces | The mouse crept closer to its goal | |
| 2001 Dec 7 | In Abandoned Transit-Vans | Harold was a potter | |
| 2001 Dec 13 | When hamsters stammer | Enough of all this sniping, at the wizards great! | |
| 2001 Dec 18 | Cap in Handsworth | The Crossbow, famed in Chinese tales | |
| 2002 Jan 3 | The Blood Line of Blandishment Castle | The Welder was welding as never before | |
| 2002 Jan 8 | Apsley's Gannet! | When standing on my pantofles | |
| 2002 Jan 16 | Grandiose Gestures, Futile Drivel | 'Leave me @peace.com', my nephew cried, | |
| 2002 Jan 30 | My Finite and Fastidious Friend | This time, I shall follow my leader | |
| 2002 Feb 6 | Unspeakable Extracts of Louise | Regicide is just killing the King, | |
| 2002 Feb 12 | Armadeep Looked Out | In the Sudan, there lived five men | |
| 2002 Mar 3 | Sausage Pouting Pictured | Echinacea, oil of rum, it's all the same to us! | |
| 2002 Mar 5 | Negating | A waltz a day is not enough | |
| 2002 Mar 6 | Uppity Evidence | No more peaches! No more cream! I'm off to sail the seas! | |
| 2002 Mar 10 | Lift-off! (Red Umbrellas) | The conical nose had been smeared with strawberry jam: | |
| 2002 Mar 20 | Goose Desk | The roots of criminal intent | |
| 2002 Mar 25 | Cacophonic, Electric, Adamant | 'Craddock's Cat Biscuits are finer by far!', the radio blared | |
| 2002 Apr 12 | Nothing Bought With Eurocheques, I Imagine | Why can't the wicked inherit the Earth? | |
| 2002 Apr 14 | Melting Pot Ritual | A caramel pig once sat on the throne | |
| 2002 Apr 18 | The Circumference Spoon | Jack of the desperate moments | |
| 2002 Apr 29 | Apricot Britain | My ice-cream dribbled into the soft earth, as Rachel | |
| 2002 May 8 | Criminals in Poltics | The Captain rode to Hampton Court | |
| 2002 May 13 | The Firmament Throughout | The south of France is not a place | |
| 2002 May 20 | The Apostle Paul Ate Our Show Dogs | I gorge a slow caramel, | |
| 2002 May 28 | Hearts, Like Crystals, Dissolve into Nothingness | Finesse the Queen! Finesse the Queen! | |
| 2002 Jun 11 | Adventurous Wednesday | Never mind the problem throat | |
| 2002 Jun 17 | Repeatedly Focal | Old Uncle Tom made a nuclear bomb | |
| 2002 Jun 27 | At the Leg-warming Market | Statistically speaking, the cow | |
| 2002 Jul 5 | In Contempt of a Buried Steamship | This poem concerns Hades. | |
| 2002 Jul 10 | Whistling Tortoises | A frond of bracken in the hair | |
| 2002 Jul 18 | Beside the Derelict Hat-stand | When Granny comes for tea and cake | |
| 2002 Jul 26 | Stolen From Steel Factory Sirens | The skies were heavy as an ounce of osmium, | |
| 2002 Jul 26 | Scarcely | The glaciers of Egypt | |
| 2002 Jul 29 | Piecemeal Premonitions | I saw Yehudi Menuhin | |
| 2002 Aug 2 | Cheese Isn't For Funny Ladies | Penumbral vision | |
| 2002 Aug 5 | Eyelash Radio | Necessity's the mother of invention | |
| 2002 Aug 7 | Gartled Invertebrate Forum | 'Subtle', spelt with seven Ps | |
| 2002 Aug 21 | The Obverse Equivalent | The dark cathedral shivers | |
| 2002 Aug 28 | Infested by Dali Specialists | When nuns collide, then is the time | |
| 2002 Sep 24 | Because Bane Barks | Outside the gates of Norwich | |
| 2002 Sep 29 | Escstatic, Dogmatic | She declared herself democratic, | |
| 2002 Oct 3 | Aldershot's Unhappy History of Gardening Compromises | Mine is not a ranicd bun, served steaming on a plate, | |
| 2002 Oct 3 | Wheezing Matilda | When I was old, and on my tongue | |
| 2002 Oct 4 | Let's Beat Up Apsley | A cardboard egg tastes just as good | |
| 2002 Oct 4 | Towards the Sloping Planet | To say that he was fat would be | |
| 2002 Oct 10 | Knitting Vol-au-vents | Wars are documentaries now... | |
| 2002 Oct 11 | Manifested | Perhaps I'm not so odd | |
| 2002 Oct 15 | Nonsense Sharpens Your Refrain | Hearlding a century of filth and gore, | |
| 2002 Oct 22 | Mr. And Mrs Kruschev's Treasured Collection of Victorian Iron Pullovers | Benjamin Braddock got carried away | |
| 2002 Oct 28 | Only if the Circle Turns | Such a cruel summer! On cool heaths | |
| 2002 Nov 6 | A Contest for Castle Custard | The goat came down from the hill-tops | |
| 2002 Nov 12 | Epitaph for an Asymmetrical Arrrangement of Bears | Tie them to the bowsprit? With a scratched CD? | |
| 2002 Nov 12 | Defeated by Professors of Usurpation | One escalator, one canoe: | |
| 2002 Nov 12 | Against Wheat-craft | Here, in Glasgow, | |
| 2002 Nov 14 | Sign Rise | Toffee dipped in chocolate, by the wastrel's hand, | |
| 2002 Nov 18 | Earthenware Thinkers | Behold her single in the field | |
| 2002 Nov 23 | Lent Spent in Clapton | Canons to the right of me, and deacons to the left | |
| 2002 Nov 27 | Lechery's Not a Primary Foodstuff | Some alphabetty spaghetti | |
| 2002 Nov 28 | Hertfordshire Joke | I add some lard to every bath-time mix | |
| 2002 Nov 29 | Heroic and Auspicious | In Hastings, once, there should an elm, | |
| 2002 Dec 2 | Bereft Between Widows | My love is like a red, red snapper | |
| 2002 Dec 5 | Applause for Melodious Metal | A female, young, of ill repute, | |
| 2002 Dec 11 | Shirley, My Wife for a Day | Some caged bird squawks | |
| 2002 Dec 12 | On My Guff | Please sir, stand downwind from me. | |
| 2002 Dec 24 | Lincoln's Curry Riders | The plenitude of earthly thoughts | |
| 2003 Jan 4 | Xenophobic Popping | Bisexual biplanes bifurcating | |
| 2003 Jan 9 | Unknown Railway Station Blues | Pimrod was a snappy lad, | |
| 2003 Jan 9 | Jolly Thirsty Pirates | Fifteen men on the Dead Man's Chest | |
| 2003 Jan 10 | Squeeze the Glands Beyond Table Manners | There's nothing so original | |
| 2003 Jan 23 | Fauré, Mendacious In Cairo, | Less than catarrh | |
| 2003 Jan 27 | Samantha's Sinister Hockey Tour | My hermitage, lodged safely on the crag | |
| 2003 Jan 27 | Person or Thing Unknown | The first time I went to Iraq | |
| 2003 Jan 28 | Groovy Chicks Abound Herein | Big stuff is going down, dude | |
| 2003 Jan 30 | Zen Roots | Balanced calm across the bay | |
| 2003 Feb 5 | Sheepish Ambition | If the thought of hope is not enough | |
| 2003 Feb 7 | Longings Unknown to Science | Why should I ration | |
| 2003 Mar 7 | Dead, Undone, Unmeasured | Naked, dripping, loins all soap and tension, I rise from the bath | |
| 2003 Mar 19 | Fun in the Unnerving Moonlight (Rembrandt's Schooldays) | I've always been taught to report what I thought | |
| 2003 Apr 30 | The Doctrine of Giggling | I've long held a theory that Seuss ain't no doc | |
| 2003 Apr 30 | Cross-talk Knavery | By way of insulation | |
| 2003 May 10 | Industrial-Strength Wrigley's | My Spiderman was killed by Zach | |
| 2003 May 17 | Management Facilitates, Managers Collide | Complacent as a senator | |
| 2003 May 31 | Inaudible When Down-wind | I promise, tomorrow I'll be a good boy | |
| 2003 Jun 5 | Creases Rectified by Art | Steeped in the grime of ages | |
| 2003 Jun 16 | Bespoke Chutney for Biggles | Smooth eucalyptus, resinous aura | |
| 2003 Jun 17 | Trout Pox Toast Farming | Now is the moment! Grasp the nettle! | |
| 2003 Jun 17 | Caramelised Jamboree Bags | Bedevilled by mosquitoes | |
| 2003 Jun 18 | This Goaded Posture | You write sixteen lines, and what do you get? | |
| 2003 Jun 18 | Pickle My Creation | Welcome, fine folks, but please be more attentive! | |
| *** | 2003 Jun 21 | Theory of Everything on Tap | Lucinda' big sister chowed down on plutonium |
| 2003 Jun 22 | Nile Feather Death Trip | Her upper arms; mine eyes alighting | |
| 2003 Jun 22 | Always One Vane | Foul, foul, foul, this weather's spent | |
| 2003 Jun 23 | Considering Its Woodpigeons | Dial 'Clockwork' for disturbance | |
| 2003 Jun 23 | Rock Husks | Vowels with a vengeance invigorate vows | |
| 2003 Jun 24 | Glow Experimental | Madame Curie created quite a glow | |
| 2003 Jun 26 | A Reasonable Religion for Village Greens | Silver and brown were the eaves of the town | |
| 2003 Jun 27 | Each Recusrive Reader | On a moonful night, strangely bright | |
| 2003 Jun 27 | Knight of the Noxious Lie | If only I could sing like William Shatner | |
| 2003 Jun 28 | Imperfection | Oh, to be Home now summer is here.... | |
| 2003 Jun 30 | Erie Canal | The creek oozes down through the dimwitted wood | |
| 2003 Jul 1 | Cities | In Seville, bitter oranges grow ripe in the sun | |
| 2003 Jul 8 | Time and Four Fantastic Spoons | The Raiders of Gor had slavegirls galore and kept them all in chains | |
| 2003 Jul 9 | Scapegoat Ranchers | Why isn't tomorrow | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Lay for a Lonely Farmer | She was lovely as the night | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Fractured Hearts Have Missed Innumerable Chances | How graven seem those fractured tarts | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Mukluks Sometimes | My own dear love does seldom fart | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | If Only People Smelled Like Flowers | I often wonder how to start | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Persnickety Girls | I once saw a doctor in Dayton | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Googly | lying in a ditch of binjo | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Whackerwocky | 'Twas zillig and the mangrove whips | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | PC #22 | Televised indignities, alas | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Dreaming | I fear I cannot hope to match | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Tick | Awake! for midnight at the witching hour | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Odin Understands | I am seriously whacked | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Soupspoon | Three smooth stones near water's edge, gray as everyday | |
| 2003 Jul 17 | Fallen | I've fallen and I can't get up | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | The Ageless Golden Fleece | My buddy, Moe, is getting old | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Paid to End | When I find myself in times of trouble, | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Untitled | How speckled my rotisserie | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | The Perpetual Unloved Turtles | The Hamptons are green this time of year. | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Singing the Family Song | Simon says, "Slow down, you're movin' too fast" | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Underwear | She doesn't like my underwear | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Snow Slithers Up | The night was dark and stormy | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Madness | When all the world is going mad | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Hair | He urged me to go get a perm | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Halcyon | See how all the daffodils | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Sanctum Inviolate | Damned hypocrisy! In truth I hate them all | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Untitled | What are these glass shards upon the floor? | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Numbers Irrational | One hundred and seventy four point six | |
| 2003 Jul 18 | Untitled | How softly do the dryads hump | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Jello Fellow | While bouncing on a sea of jello | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Collaboration Is Not Essential | The men and women came, from far across the land | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Fishies Swimming Silently | My glitzy one, my little twerp | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Untitled | This is in free verse and I mean to state that always the cambembert is stale | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Phew, Too | (haiku) I've forgotten much | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Never Reaches Glory | My eyelashes are black | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Untitled | Dyspeptic diehards turn me on | |
| 2003 Jul 19 | Untitled | My luv is like a red red rose | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | Bingled | While surfing on the web one day | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | Existentially Imbued | (haiku) Why must you insist | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | Untitled | (limerick) I knew an old gal from Quebec | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | Dangerous Dancing Sensations | Who goes there? I hear your steps | |
| 2003 Jul 20 | Vegetables, Frankly | You have disrupted my routine, Mrs. Flugle | |
| 2003 Jul 21 | Gamesmanship (The Piglets) | Oink on, you crazy pigman | |
| 2003 Jul 21 | Planets of Repeated Sincerity | (limerick) There was a young maiden from Venus | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | Often Percolate | Whose clothes these are, I think I know, | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | Morning is Dead | Awake ye slumberers, and greet the day | |
| 2003 Jul 22 | Confessions, Truly | To dear Mrs Hoopledon, I hope you're feeling better | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Spoonbillrocy | Twas jillig and the smirky twerps | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Don't Do Never | Never tip a robot waiter | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Dig it, Bonobos | Fried mice and ferret stew | |
| 2003 Jul 23 | Fellatio Limericks | There was an old geezer from Kent | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Voices Broken | the tiny white wheelbarrow, overturned, | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Seduction Are Us | It is the faintest of sounds | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Smog Onions | The smog comes on little rat feet | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Ownership for Men | This is dedicated to the one I love | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Questioning Before | Did you ever wonder why | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Markup Over Sense | Come | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Sleep Will Not Be Heard | I really need to get some sleep | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Imagination, Fortitude, Cholesterol | Imagine there's no flugle | |
| 2003 Jul 24 | Brie Tabula | The page is blank | |
| 2003 Jul 25 | Rubicund Mummeries | mummeries cast brightly upon lavender sidewalks | |
| 2003 Jul 25 | Every Phrase Yodelled by Wagner | Parsifal was bleeding from the gramophone | |
| 2003 Jul 26 | Love Awkwardly | If I fell in love with you | |
| 2003 Jul 27 | Wish To Be | "It wasn't meant to be," the woman sobbed. | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | When Ambrosia of the Peppermint... | Moonbeams and fairy dust, stardust and ambosia | |
| 2003 Jul 28 | And Now Hard Skirts | My love's inclined to wear a hat | |
| 2003 Jul 29 | Unbidden Answer to Cellular Message | The telephone is ringing, dear | |
| 2003 Jul 29 | No More Edible Pope | (limerick) There was an old lady from Wales | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | Alien Hissy Fit | Aliens squirted mustard in my face | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | Insults for Schoolmarms | Slug bug! | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | They Multiply | You've learned to tie your shoelaces | |
| 2003 Jul 30 | Vaccuum Devices Have Undiscovered Potential | I often think that nothing grows so red as a rose where some once Caesar bled. | |
| 2003 Aug 4 | Batman and Gawain (The Quest) | Now, hearken, I'll tell you the tale | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Folks Who Smoke Soap | Mendicant Sam was a broken man | |
| 2003 Aug 5 | Relativity In Guise Of The Moving Moon | A small chunky moon drifts or perhaps | |
| 2003 Aug 6 | Many Small Wonders for Royalty | Poor Peter was three inches high | |
| 2003 Aug 7 | Time and the Walrus | The moon was shining on the grass | |
| 2003 Aug 11 | The Horizons of Renewal | We have waited for a new beginning | |
| 2003 Aug 12 | Arcade Dreams Of My Gamey Youth | Space Invaders often haunt my dreams | |
| 2003 Aug 14 | Cow Ending | You do not moo, you do not moo | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Cocksure Wills | I dare the wind to blow contrary to my whim | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | A Fine Line Between Endless Cats | On Friday the seventh of May | |
| 2003 Aug 15 | Cash Me | How dear of you to send me cash | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | You Are Choking Me With Gloves On | You are the very air I breathe, my sustenance | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Kamasutra for Happy Knives and Spoons | There was a fine seller of pearls | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | Untitled | Cry wolf | |
| 2003 Aug 17 | They Abruptly | Jonathan and Mary | |
| 2003 Aug 18 | True Stories but Grossly Truncated | There once was a man who was purple (world's hardest limerick coming up...) | |
| 2003 Aug 19 | What's The Point Of Intermittency? | Hello, Beefy, howya doin'? | |
| 2003 Aug 20 | Lurking in The | Play it again, Kansas Sam | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Whackers Are Slackers | Hotchie-totchie, Liberace | |
| 2003 Aug 21 | Wooing under the Clouds | Ineluctably, you woo me. The clouds | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | But a Pizza Means the End of Thunderstorms | MORE GOOFY HAIKUS | |
| 2003 Aug 22 | A Doberman You All Wanted To Know | There was an old maid from Duluth | |
| 2003 Aug 23 | The Meatloaf Serenade | With faltering steps Alonso reached the summit | |
| 2003 Aug 25 | Sobering Laptop | T'was but a night on the dell | |
| 2003 Aug 26 | "You Are Carbon", We Said | The waves are in turmoil, and strike at the rocks | |
| 2003 Aug 28 | Long Unbidden Melody | Wine and women, women and song | |
| 2003 Aug 29 | Time Calendric | Does anyone look forward to September? | |
| 2003 Aug 30 | Don Prufrock, Life of Tedium | The internet crawled to a halt | |
| 2003 Aug 31 | Are You Better? | More haiku you say? | |
| 2003 Aug 31 | Undressing Swine | I really must take a shower | |
| 2003 Sep 1 | Questionable Pantheons | Slumberers! Rome is burning all about you | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | My Guts Reek | Good Morning, Mr. Soap! | |
| 2003 Sep 2 | Ugly Secrets | Nosy spoonbillers | |
| 2003 Sep 3 | Verse Justice | Ack! My poetic license has been revoked! | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | Paul never liked peace anyhow | Yes, haiku is back | |
| 2003 Sep 4 | Mugging For Pennies | "The proof is in the pudding," or so I've heard it said | |
| 2003 Sep 5 | Putting the Carthorse Before Zen | At times the truth may not appear the best approach to take | |
| 2003 Sep 6 | Persistent Fading | Chatting can be difficult | |
| 2003 Sep 7 | Brian is There | There was a young maiden from Nome | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | U-Boat Blessings | Trilingualism, once a curse, | |
| 2003 Sep 9 | Gargled End | By the time you read this message | |
| 2003 Sep 10 | The Exorcism of All Limericks | There was an old hag from New York | |
| 2003 Sep 17 | If Only God Lived 9 Lives | The first thing I learned in my life as a cat | |
| 2003 Sep 17 | Cold Boff in Freedom | However shall the cold night envade, | |
| 2003 Sep 18 | To Brother Domino | The money ran out, and I had to leave | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | Strange Bits Of Filth | Kansas Sam's brain overheated | |
| 2003 Sep 19 | The Walks of Soul Sisters | I have seen this place before | |
| 2003 Sep 20 | Licensed to Kill Everything | Moneypenny's not a happy bunny | |
| 2003 Sep 21 | Toes of Paraffin | Camille, thou most elegant doorstop | |
| 2003 Sep 21 | Milkround | Whoremongers, rumormongers, mongers galore | |
| 2003 Sep 21 | Though Tamborines are Comforting | I may have to saddle a horse | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Who Will Have The Lady Over? | The sun was not shining the day | |
| 2003 Sep 22 | Plunder of the Phigosia | I have dined with the Gods, and yet | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | America, Land Where Meiosis Reigns | I've heard that the folks in the U S of A | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | Tribute of the Rather Wet | I once knew a lady, Francine | |
| 2003 Sep 25 | Lightning Ignites My Secret Beard | Precipitous whiskers | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Bored Magnolia | What kind of tree would you most like to be? | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | Difficult Times | Versify where you are able | |
| 2003 Sep 26 | The Global Hegemony of You and Yours | Une nuit foncée et orageuse | |
| 2003 Sep 27 | In Piles of Half-Burned Pizza | What evil you planning today? | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | My Puckered Times | Uncork the bottle and light a cigar | |
| 2003 Sep 29 | Morbid Obsessions With Broccoli | My imagination runs a little wild at times | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | What Is Best For Each | Nine yards matter, when in zoos or farms an unclear sign | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Flowing The Fable | Once upon a time in a faraway land | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | The First Cyborg Whore | Rosie was a robot made of steel | |
| 2003 Sep 30 | Contactual Precautions and Unbecoming Curses | You must, when adding cream to recipes | |
| 2003 Oct 1 | If Not Insouciance | Feeling rather awkward, newly clad in neon eyewear | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Opinion Is Not A Occupation | If fish could scream | |
| 2003 Oct 2 | Poets - We're Belligerent To A Fault | Poets fight with words and not with swords | |
| 2003 Oct 4 | Captain Correction | The sky is blue and so are you | |
| 2003 Oct 7 | Coffee On My Yardstick | Coffee grounds in the sink, the drain webbed with hair | |
| 2003 Oct 10 | Numerous Wonderlands | Four-and-twenty blackbirds | |
| 2003 Oct 10 | Have You Enough Putty? | Wetching in the tersome rain | |
| 2003 Oct 12 | The High What | I want to do to you, what the spring does to the trees | |
| 2003 Oct 14 | The Apologetic Polka | Escape these shores I must, and head for foreign soil | |
| 2003 Oct 15 | Disaster and Cheek | 'This watch you sold me for a pig - | |
| 2003 Oct 16 | Protruding Posterior | The real derivation of 'prat' | |
| 2003 Oct 16 | Our Bombastic Parlour Pig | Terence wrote, when not in Thrace, a clutch of tearful plays | |
| 2003 Oct 17 | The Pennyweight Sauce | A pennyweight of muskets scattered on the dock | |
| 2003 Oct 19 | Go-Faster Waistcoat | Faster than the human mind can ever comprehend | |
| 2003 Oct 22 | My Corduroy Mariner, Correspondingly | With skin as pale as honesty | |
| 2003 Oct 24 | Poor Child Roland | How he dawdles! Watch the steps | |
| 2003 Oct 24 | Therefore I Can Be Repeatedly Woggled | I seldom spurl the gaffled zern | |
| 2003 Oct 26 | Hairless of Sins | Her body glistened, hairless quite, | |
| 2003 Oct 27 | Imagine This Weirdness | Imagine a World without... | |
| 2003 Oct 28 | Flame White Trash! | I went to bat for you so many times, and how have you repaid me? | |
| 2003 Oct 30 | No Way to the Afterlife | I wonder: is it worth the time? | |
| 2003 Oct 31 | Amanda and Her Moose Therapy | I traced the lineage of the Spoon | |
| 2003 Nov 1 | Irresistible Types | My Love was born on Halloween | |
| 2003 Nov 2 | Kissable Landlords In Jeopardy | Kiss me quick and go | |
| 2003 Nov 4 | Monster Showtime | Oh, the claws, they should not be | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Haiku With Problems | The jester donned his liripipe | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Trepidation Is Sometimes All | I find myself washed once more, upon a friendly shore | |
| 2003 Nov 7 | Piggy And The Penguin Bankers | My head is full of fish, I fear | |
| 2003 Nov 10 | My Painful Bass | Come an' listen to a story 'bout a man named Jake | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | Tea With Cartoons | Between the kettle and the cot | |
| 2003 Nov 11 | Septuagenarians | Much to my dismay, I turned seventy today | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | The Moon That Howled, "Donald!" | The moon shone bright on that surly night | |
| 2003 Nov 12 | The Ultimate Sob Story | The squash, I fear, is overcooked | |
| 2003 Nov 15 | Pickpockets, Rejoice! | Shall I invite you to a game of darts? | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | Nor Eric Nor Unshaven Shirts | Give a man sufficient rope | |
| 2003 Nov 17 | Pleasingly Cyclical | In the evening came the cycles | |
| 2003 Nov 18 | God's Void Devoid | You stare impassively at the world | |
| 2003 Nov 19 | Jerry-built Riffs | There once was lady from Knox | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | Alphabetically Defined | Anthony Brown caused doubts everywhere | |
| 2003 Nov 20 | Oh! Gosh They've Gone | Yup, they cleared the decks again | |
| 2003 Nov 21 | Insufficiently Stylish Behaviour | Verily, I think I'll slump | |
| 2003 Nov 21 | Hunting The Innocent | Just before the doorbell rang, my lids had fallen shut | |
| 2003 Nov 23 | The Frozen Meow | "I must remove that oil stain" muttered the piebald rat | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | Ultimate Detergent | Must you hone your scimitar? | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | Woodfired | Pizzas spin lazily in the inky depths of space | |
| 2003 Nov 24 | My Special Nosebag | If falling stars had parachutes | |
| 2003 Nov 25 | Underwater Clouds | Aborted in its prime | |
| 2003 Nov 26 | What Concerned Us As Free Thinkers | Tell me the secret | |
| 2003 Nov 27 | Arbitrary Megalomaniacs | I've been lectured again by the stockman | |
| 2003 Nov 27 | Evident Hypocrisy | The stack's not much fun anymore | |
| 2003 Nov 28 | Food For Sentimental Souls Like Us | Turkey, yams and pumpkin pie | |
| 2003 Nov 29 | Thought Of The Mayoral Fool | Furtively, a polar bear | |
| 2003 Dec 1 | Mittens Disturb | Items that do not give offence | |
| 2003 Dec 8 | Wings Of Men Who Wait | The early morning moon is pale as a chalk daub | |
| 2003 Dec 9 | Whatever Is Your Pleasure | Across the rolling Irish hills, he rode for Dublin-town | |
| 2003 Dec 11 | Twilight Of A Flaming Pie | Sitting in an English garden, waiting for the sun | |
| 2003 Dec 13 | Sundry Things Spread Thinly | Once a brave Sultana | |
| 2003 Dec 18 | Forever In Love With Marilyn | There was an old goatherd named Bill | |
| 2003 Dec 23 | Someone Who For Once Is Not Averse To Changing Lanes | Bespectacled, mustachioed--a man nondescript | |
| 2003 Dec 27 | Splat Went The Fig Custard Fruitcakes | Kaboom and kerplunk, vavoom and achoo | |
| 2003 Dec 29 | Ignoring Problems | Behold mankind, how fragile it's life | |
| 2004 Jan 1 | Hake Sprouts | My sister, Sue, has several suitors | |
| 2004 Jan 7 | The Unkempt | Her face was blanched, her eyes aglow; the sky was gauzy, rent | |
| 2004 Jan 9 | Attempted Assassination During Evensong | Rather than conferring shame | |
| 2004 Jan 11 | His Own Lewd Vespers | My penchant's mathematical | |
| 2004 Jan 13 | Tsunamis Get The Surfers | Well! That relief was pretty short | |
| 2004 Jan 14 | Frequency Of Dinner Jackets | I did not think a coddled egg | |
| 2004 Jan 14 | Yeah, Wow, Gollly, Gee, Gasp, Yep, Indeedy, Shucks | Come on baby, let's | |
| 2004 Jan 16 | With Our Dentures Firmly Detached For Whitsuntide | 'Mr Spaceman, can't I travel, | |
| 2004 Jan 19 | The Everlasting Pets | My cat is too fat | |
| 2004 Jan 20 | Whom To Enchant? | Be glad that Wall Street's closed today | |
| 2004 Jan 22 | The Cork Coffins | This message to the nearly dead | |
| 2004 Jan 24 | The Rite For Pipkin Breezes | If I could dance like Fred Austere | |
| 2004 Jan 26 | Argument For Exceptions | A new bordello - civic, clean - is what Wisconsin needs | |
| 2004 Jan 27 | Mops Our Fevered Explorer Cannot Display | So... slate wiped clean, whereto from here? | |
| 2004 Jan 30 | Baroness Buttercup | Oh, innocents, listen in time | |
| 2004 Feb 1 | Flight Recorder In Mink | Shocked by his failure to fly, | |
| 2004 Feb 3 | Further Epsom Salts | How far can we fall | |
| 2004 Feb 4 | Rebel Angels, Mountain Dance | Labouring dismally under a sky | |
| 2004 Feb 10 | Baltic Bang | Do not go gently into that goodnight | |
| 2004 Feb 17 | Composers In The Ground | Just say "Baroque" and choral hymns | |
| 2004 Feb 19 | Sometimes Enough Makes Sense | The trampled multitude are free - | |
| 2004 Feb 20 | How Can It Be Moss If It Grows Faster? | O sober reflection | |
| 2004 Mar 18 | Doves, Couples, Quarks, Exigencies | Give me the pen and invisible ink, and I'll write my life story for you | |
| 2004 Mar 19 | Only Once Is More Than Twice Times Two | Give me the pen and invisible ink, and I'll write my life story for you | |
| 2004 Mar 24 | Marrows Away | This choice of relish was not of the best, | |
| 2004 Apr 2 | Bureaucracy Marks The Pedestrians | If filling in forms engenders dismay, tick box 'A' | |
| 2004 Apr 19 | Amulets As Fishcakes | When I went to Inverness | |
| 2004 Apr 24 | Piquant Hostesses | Bowls of mustard lined the hall | |
| 2004 Apr 29 | Sausages Stitched Lengthways | The rats climbed on the rising ship | |
| 2004 May 12 | Motherhood In The Pasture | Diapering tushies is really a bummer | |
| 2004 May 18 | We Sold Our Restaurants In Cyprus | Upanishads and Vedic verse | |
| 2004 May 24 | Meaty Beaty Big And Bonsai | Sausage, when the time is right | |
| 2004 Jun 1 | Raindrops Keep Dripping On The Photoshoot | Atop the hill the castle stood | |
| 2004 Jun 16 | In Our Wintry Organ | To prime one's seventh armpit | |
| 2004 Jun 18 | Forswear Courage | Hollie was a hostage | |
| 2004 Jun 20 | Grid Of Life Expectant | The weight of expectation is pressing on my brain | |
| 2004 Jun 24 | Cutlery At Noon | Silent in the dinner-queue | |
| 2004 Jun 30 | Maidens Irritated When Their Purity Runs Out | A thesaurus was stoned to death, a diction'ry was raped, | |
| 2004 Jul 2 | Danish Polka | Bruno's head, a perfect sphere | |
| 2004 Jul 7 | Sediment Flying In From The Airfield | Ten more miles and we'll be home | |
| 2004 Jul 9 | Believe What You Will But Doubt Nothing Excepting Yourself | Little boys with little toys | |
| 2004 Jul 12 | Tea-room Trumpery | Catachresis in the crypt | |
| 2004 Jul 30 | Imminent Destruction Of Everything In Port | Passion, closeness and great sex | |
| 2004 Aug 9 | Fish Remedies For Mischief | Not a feather, nor a leaf, | |
| 2004 Aug 17 | Nomads Are Only Upright Hayseeds | Affectless nomads | |
| 2004 Aug 20 | Meringue-laden Exclamations | At this time, most every day, | |
| 2004 Aug 25 | Reaper Without Envy | Kaolin | |
| 2004 Aug 27 | The Least Suspicious Concertina | A drooping, stealthful melody | |
| 2004 Aug 27 | Not What It Seems | Back at the beginning | |
| 2004 Sep 1 | It Never Raineth On The Holy Fool | Back at the beginning | |
| 2004 Sep 3 | Sages Of Most Definite Hopefulness | Behold! | |
| 2004 Sep 9 | Drenched In Watery Ends | Your putative queen, dear sire, has fled, | |
| 2004 Sep 16 | Nothing But The Very Onerous Consumption Of Desire | This rare dark beauty doth my heart inspire | |
| 2004 Oct 11 | Holy Things Always Worry Women | Who will search | |
| 2004 Oct 13 | Lest We Forge Biscuits For Orphaned Presidents | Mildenhall; I choose to doubt | |
| 2004 Oct 22 | Massacred By Melting Geology | My foot is stuck; I cannot move | |
| 2004 Oct 26 | Effortless Abyss | Cold crustaceans, diving deep, | |
| 2004 Nov 29 | Hypothesis Epsilon | Come, let us dance, just you and I | |
| 2004 Dec 9 | Prone To Tautologies | Of sacred cows and catered sows | |
| 2004 Dec 16 | Doubly Formal Zebras | To hoist a somewhat smaller flag | |
| 2004 Dec 22 | Albatross, Lie Still | How calmly did th olive branch | |
| 2004 Dec 31 | Pointless Goodness | "The End is near!" the Bellman cried | |
| 2005 Jan 18 | The Hegemony Which Everybody Scorns | One before the turning | |
| 2005 Jan 20 | Welsh Ditty | There is a tavern in the town | |
| 2005 Feb 2 | After Reality, Interregnum | She plugged it in, she switched it on | |
| 2005 Feb 7 | Good-luck To Endless Sorrow | Leastways, said the meter man, You'll always have some fish | |
| 2005 Feb 9 | Perfect Pitchers | Monosyllables | |
| 2005 Feb 22 | Sigh No More, Ladies | The Dutch maintain that any eye | |
| 2005 Apr 20 | Future Species Will Not Tolerate Hotels | If the Sun was to die today | |
| 2005 Apr 21 | Despatched Again | I have a little creature | |
| 2005 Apr 28 | Before She Uttered | hiiiiiiiii | |
| 2005 Jul 8 | Crop Circling Gear | To view this page as Scratch'n'Sniff | |
| 2005 Jul 25 | Tartlets In Custardy | Blesséd fragrance, of the Nile, | |
| 2005 Aug 1 | Heathen Lent | Ingest this canapé of grime? | |
| 2005 Aug 31 | To Study All Known Colonies | Pleonasms get me down | |
| 2005 Sep 9 | When Caesar Foamed | We danced, in nothing but a hat | |
| 2005 Sep 21 | Packed Without Any Discernible Entropy | The last was gone before its hour | |
| 2005 Oct 23 | The Tartan Cow Trap | There was a young man from Nantucket | |
| 2005 Oct 30 | Yes, Seamstresses, Invisible Stockings For Marriage Vows | So much nicer now | |
| 2005 Nov 16 | Guile In Any May | Awestruck in the horse-truck, | |
| 2005 Nov 17 | Ignoring The Peach And Nectarine | If ever I would write a dirge | |
| 2005 Dec 8 | Immaculate Threnodies by Augustan Bachelors | On Boscombe Down, where Keats was born | |
| 2006 Jan 3 | Over By The Time She Smells The Brie | Sunk by the Spanish Amanda | |
| 2006 Jan 4 | Clockwork Catechism | You say 'tornado' | |
| 2006 Jan 11 | Trampling Your Toes On | Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord | |
| 2006 Jan 29 | Handy Men Poised With Unguents | If beating fleas was my habit | |
| 2006 Feb 16 | Absent White | Rimbaud, Verlaine and absinthe | |
| 2006 Feb 24 | Lodestar Of The Ballooning Nurse | We changed your appointment | |
| 2006 Mar 2 | Injunctions To The Barricades | Bring me the bones of a man who is broken | |
| 2006 Mar 16 | Godliness In Three-four Time | He walked his widow home | |
| 2006 Mar 29 | Ethereal Sequence | Ether, real | |
| 2006 Apr 7 | "How Curious!", Quoth The Melancholy Shrike | Engrossed by the maudlin | |
| 2006 May 4 | Louse, Louise | Feasting on the gouts of blood | |
| 2006 May 10 | Love For A Piglet | Nobody comes, nobody goes | |
| 2006 May 12 | Kiki On Speed | The glittering lights of Montmatre in her eyes | |
| 2006 May 15 | Cliches But No Answer | If brevity's the soul of wit, | |
| 2006 May 23 | Into The Vegetable | A carrot lay upon the bank | |
| 2006 May 25 | What Loving Euthanasia | Clunk! Whrrrrrrr. Zzzzng. | |
| 2006 May 31 | Simulacra Of The Smaller Variety Found In Brighton | When they talk about Eau de Cologne | |
| 2006 Jun 23 | Tights For A Prophylactic Railroad | I shall not fail to summon you | |
| 2006 Jun 24 | Outwardly Nubile | Let us go then, you and I | |
| 2006 Jun 27 | Death Again | This mausoleum, filled with Zinc, | |
| 2006 Jul 29 | Ravioli Ramblings | Though Cecil balked at Puffy's plan | |
| 2006 Aug 9 | Kill None But The Brave Lover | No mistress is so passing fair | |
| 2007 Jan 22 | The Fifth Vatican Innuendo | Oh Wally! Won't you start your car, | |
| 2007 Feb 8 | Whatsoever It Findeth North of Dunfermline | For the Law was given through Moses | |
| 2007 Feb 12 | Squid Divinity | Proem, poem, words of praise - | |
| 2007 Feb 15 | Clumps and Wisps | Orthodontists wrecked my life | |
| 2007 Feb 18 | Vulva Pinxit Hinc | Wounded and silently brooding | |
| 2007 Feb 19 | Fragments Concluded | Union State gave way to blues - in a doleful way - | |
| 2007 Mar 9 | Never Meant to Harm | A nasturtium, rambling fine and crunchy, | |
| 2007 Mar 21 | My Desire Seldom Lights My Desire | Rainbow bright across the loch | |
| 2007 Mar 26 | Unless Cruel Servitude Beckons | This lizard, crabbed and taut, | |
| 2004 Jul 14 | Each Weary Welcoming | To redefine our clique | |
| 2004 Oct 8 | Not Allowed In Our Picnics | A tide of rash assumptions | |
| 2005 Mar 23 | Incoherence Everywhere Discovered Anew | The horror-shows of ancient Gaul | |
| 2005 Mar 31 | Our Vectors Ineptly Computed | Chucked up, chucked out | |
| 2005 Jul 19 | High Teeth | Juicy plums for me to bite! | |
| 2005 Nov 13 | Goodfellow Moses | A secret door | |
| 2006 Jun 16 | Night Thoughts | When o'er the willows whipporwills | |
| 2006 Dec 17 | He See Nothing With Relish | The price of dodging RSI | |